by Ian Shimwell
SQUIRESBY: And when the guards are summoned, we will attack, ruthlessly.
GUARD: Attack what, sir?
SQUIRESBY: Robin has deserted his outlaws, so it is them whom we will crush.
(3) (In the ‘Halfway Inn’ GISBOURNE, ROBIN and MUCH are at the Bar, with the LANDLORD behind it.)
ROBIN: So, let me get this straight: you have no rooms left tomorrow night, but won’t let us stay tonight?
LANDLORD: I think that’s for the best.
GISBOURNE: Now, let me put this another way.
(GISBOURNE swiftly pulls his sword out, he leaves it pointing just inches from the LANDLORD’s throat.)
GISBOURNE: And why can’t we stay tonight, when virtually the whole place is empty?
LANDLORD: Putting it like that, I cannot think of a reason. (He slaps a key on the Bar. GISBOURNE picks it up.)
GISBOURNE: (Says with heavy irony:) Thank-you most kindly. Now Much, get the drinks.
MUCH: I will not take orders from such as you.
ROBIN: Much, get the drinks.
MUCH: Yes, master.
(ROBIN and GISBOURNE sit on a well-worn table by the window. A man dressed in black, and sporting a black beard, near the Bar has clearly been listening to them with interest.)
ROBIN: Now, why would a remote inn be apparently full tomorrow night?
GISBOURNE: That is a very good question, Robin.
ROBIN: Ah hum.
GISBOURNE: You can address me as Sir Guy of Gisbourne, Lord Loxley, Lord of Loxley Manor and Earl of Huntington.
ROBIN: Don’t push it, Gisbourne. Those titles are rightfully mine – and I will take them back.
GISBOURNE: As far as I’m concerned, your title is Robin Hood. Now then, you said you heard certain rumours about Gatechester?
ROBIN: (Who draws closer to GISBOURNE to urge secrecy.) There are stories about the so-called Shadow Royals, they are a group believed to be preparing to threaten the rightful Crown of England. They are also, naturally opposed to Prince John. And are rumoured to be based in…
GISBOURNE: …Gatechester. ‘A Royal shadow’, now I understand… And who is that creep? (He spins round, but the mysterious bearded man by the Bar has disappeared. MUCH places the heavy tankards on the table.)
MUCH: Three ales, as ordered. I still have a question.
ROBIN: Yes?
MUCH: When are we going to eat?
GISBOURNE: We drink first… and then eat.
MUCH: And a bed. I’m actually going to get to sleep on a proper bed. A beautifully comfy straw one. Ooh, the luxury…
GISBOURNE: Did you have to bring him?
(ROBIN raises an eyebrow and exchanges a look with GISBOURNE.)
(4) (There is an assembly of castle guards in the Courtyard. SQUIRESBY proudly walks up to the SHERIFF.)
SQUIRESBY: Your soldiers are present and correct – and ready to crush the outlaws, Sheriff.
SHERIFF: I do have eyes.
SQUIRESBY: Upon my lord’s command, they will storm Sherwood Forest.
SHERIFF: In that case, ask the men to stand down, Squiresby.
SQUIRESBY: What?
SHERIFF: If I have to tell you again…
SQUIRESBY: (Says reluctantly:) At ease, men.
SHERIFF: Strategy, my dear Squiresby, involves guile not simply blundering in.
SQUIRESBY: Meaning?
SHERIFF: If, as you said so… eloquently, we stormed the forest – Robin’s men would scatter and, if we were lucky, it would take days to hunt them down. By which time, Robin himself may have returned.
SQUIRESBY: I see… And your plan, I mean strategy?
SHERIFF: We will wait until tomorrow, and entice Robin’s rabble out of the hole they call a forest.
SQUIRESBY: But how?
SHERIFF: (Who begins to laugh menacingly.) They may take no notice of a Sheriff, but a King on the other hand…
(5) (Darkness falls, the camera focusses on the bright moon and pans down to the darkened inn. In their room, MUCH is snoring loudly. ROBIN and GISBOURNE also seem sleeping sound, but much quieter. The door silently opens, and the moonlight reveals that the bearded, black-clad figure that was previously by the Bar has slipped inside. The figure slowly raises his sword which gleams in the moonlight. He stands over the sleeping ROBIN, and is about to strike. Suddenly, GISBOURNE lunges at the stranger. GISBOURNE’s sword strikes right through the attacker who cries out and then slumps to the floor.)
ROBIN: What the?
GISBOURNE: Our unwilling drinking partner.
ROBIN: I wonder who he is.
(ROBIN searches the body, he pulls the stranger’s sleeve back to reveal a tattoo.)
ROBIN: A tattoo.
GISBOURNE: Tattoo, what tattoo?
(ROBIN points.)
ROBIN: There.
GISBOURNE: Hah, that tattoo. A coat of arms with the initials ‘SR’.
ROBIN: The Shadow Royals. And that must be why this inn is full tomorrow.
GISBOURNE: Yes, they must be holding some sort of secret meeting here – and our friend here obviously didn’t want us to linger.
ROBIN: Gisbourne, you saved my life.
GISBOURNE: We all make mistakes.
ROBIN: Maybe tomorrow we will discover the secret plan of the Shadow Royals.
GISBOURNE: And if there is any connection with the apparent return of the King.
ROBIN: What do you say, Much?
(MUCH is still snoring loudly, and sucking his thumb like a baby.)
(6) (At first light, ALAN A DALE yawns and stretches as he emerges from the cave. He looks at WILL SCARLET and CATHY suspiciously.)
ALAN A DALE: Have you two been at it all night?
WILL SCARLET: (Who raises an eyebrow.) The new bow, the super-bow and arrow is finally finished.
CATHY: It is beautiful, don’t you think?
WILL SCARLET: My, my – you’ve changed your tune.
(LITTLE JOHN staggers into the scene, as a female figure enters the clearing.)
LITTLE JOHN: The Lady Marion, what are you doing here?
MARION: I have come here to warn you: The Sheriff is planning something…
LITTLE JOHN: The Sheriff is always planning something – it’s what he does.
MARION: But late, last evening the Sheriff held a private meeting with only his closest nobles. Even my father wasn’t invited.
LITTLE JOHN: We are strong – we have nothing to worry about.
MARION: You are without Robin.
LITTLE JOHN: I managed without Robin for many years in the woods.
MARION: Yes, and what did you actually achieve?
(ALAN A DALE laughs, but the insulted LITTLE JOHN bad-temperedly clouts him.)
ALAN A DALE: Ouch.
WILL SCARLET: We have this new bow. If the Sheriff comes anywhere near Loxley Village, I will strike him down from afar.
MARION: You may need to. Just, be careful. All of you.
(MARION hitches up her long skirt, as she rushes from the clearing.)
(7) (ROBIN and GISBOURNE are hid by a large shrub that is close to the Halfway Inn.)
ROBIN: Gisbourne, if somehow we find King Richard, what will you do?
GISBOURNE: Why, kill him, of course.
(This startles and disturbs ROBIN.)
GISBOURNE: I must complete my mission for the Sheriff.
ROBIN: Which I prevented you from doing in the Holy Land. This time, Gisbourne, I will protect the King by killing you.
GISBOURNE: (Who laughs.) Relax Robin – I was just seeing if you still believed that unlikely conspiracy.
ROBIN: We both know what happened there.
GISBOURNE: And let us leave it at that. Richard is in no danger from me.
ROBIN: This time.
GISBOURNE: Also, I am duty-bound by honour to point out that Marion is once again falling for my charms.
ROBIN: (Who laughs derisibly.) You are joking.
GISBOURNE: Before long, I will have her up that aisle again. And next time, we will be betrothed.
&nbs
p; ROBIN: Over my dead body.
GISBOURNE: That can be arranged, Loxley.
(MUCH comes scampering up to them.)
MUCH: It is as you both suspected.
ROBIN: Yes?
GISBOURNE: Get on with it, Much?
MUCH: (Who sounds affronted.) Very well. The Halfway Inn is now closed to all travellers – and a black-clad group are holding a secret meeting there. Nobody is allowed in or out.
ROBIN: The Shadow Royals, it must be.
(At that moment, dozens of Royal Guards on horseback descend on the place. GISBOURNE, ROBIN and MUCH retreat further into hiding. The Royal Guards storm the inn.)
GISBOURNE: It looks like the show is finally over for the Shadow Royals.
ROBIN: Look! Who’s that?
(Through the morning mist, velvet, cloaked figure slowly emerges on horseback.)
MUCH: It can’t be.
ROBIN: It is.
(Reverently, GISBOURNE, ROBIN and MUCH emerge from hiding. Slowly, and disbelievingly they walk towards the cloaked figure.)
GISBOURNE: (Who bows before ‘the King’.) At your service, Your Majesty?
(The camera focusses on the impenetrable hood. Slowly, there is a fade to black.)
(8) (The SHERIFF is standing, expectantly in the centre of Loxley Village Green. He is surrounded from a slight distance by seemingly all his guards. All the villagers are mesmerised, wondering what is going to happen, although MAVRIK decides to keep a low profile. Relatively nearby, but still quite a distance away, LITTLE JOHN, ALAN A DALE, WILL SCARLET and CATHY are watching with interest, from the cover from the edge of the forest.)
(The action now moves dynamically from the village green [Green] to near the edge of the forest [Forest] .)
[Green] SHERIFF: (Who talks very loudly, almost shouting. In fact, thanks to a light wind, ROBIN’s men can just hear what he is saying.) Friends… countrymen and (Says under his breath:) outlaws, you are all gathered here to greet a truly remarkable visitor. He is on a secret mission, but as a faithful show of support to his favourite Sheriff, has graced us with his presence.
MARION: (Who is standing near the SHERIFF.) You cannot possibly mean..?
SHERIFF: I, most humbly give you His Royal Majesty, the King of England, Richard the Lionheart.
(The SHERIFF’s guards slowly part and the hooded, scarlet, velvet cloaked figure walks towards the SHERIFF. The villagers gasp in sheer astonishment.)
MARION: It must be Richard, he is wearing the Royal Emblem. But who have Robin and Gisbourne gone after?
(MARION bows reverently – as do the SHERIFF’s guards and the villagers.)
[Forest] WILL SCARLET: Could it really be the King?
LITTLE JOHN: Yes, even Marion is bowing – and she’s close.
[Green] ‘THE KING’: (Who speaks loudly and seems to be somehow talking directly to ROBIN’s men in the forest.) My wish is for all peoples of Loxley to unite behind their King. I offer Robin and his men an amnesty. Please come now, lay down your arms and come into the open. I promise to solve any problems you may have – and that is a King’s promise.
[Forest] ALAN A DALE: What shall we do?
LITTLE JOHN: I was more than happy to oppose the Sheriff, but to oppose King Richard himself would be traitorous – and I am no traitor.
[Green] SHERIFF: (Says slightly quieter:) Come out, come out, wherever you are. Come on, just a few short paces out into the open – and my men will have you…
[Forest] LITTLE JOHN: Come on, we must follow our King – we have no choice.
(They all lay down their weapons, and are about to leave the forest and come out into the open. Suddenly ROBIN bursts onto the scene, closely followed by a breathless MUCH.)
ROBIN: Do not move – it’s a trap.
LITTLE JOHN: What?
ROBIN: Will, your bow – the new bow.
WILL SCARLET: What do you want it for?
ROBIN: Just give it here.
(ROBIN almost snatches the super-bow and arrow.)
[Green] (GISBOURNE walks up to the SHERIFF.)
SHERIFF: Gisbourne, you have returned.
[Forest] (ROBIN fires the super-bow, the arrow travels an awful long distance and strikes ‘THE KING’, who crumples to the ground.)
[Green] GISBOURNE: And so has Hood.
[Forest] LITTLE JOHN: You have killed the King!
ROBIN: He is not the King, and besides I have only injured him.
[Green] (The camera focusses on the fallen ‘KING’. His upper arm has an arrow embedded in it.)
SHERIFF: This traitor is an imposter.
(The SHERIFF removes ‘THE KING’s’ hood to expose him.)
GISBOURNE: Squiresby!
SHERIFF: Kill him.
GISBOURNE: With pleasure, my lord.
(GISBOURNE ruthlessly strikes the prone SQUIRESBY. His sword cuts deep within his chest.)
GISBOURNE: (Who grins with delicious irony.) I warned you, Squiresby, not to cross me.
[Forest] (ROBIN looks at his super-bow. It has snapped in half.)
ROBIN: Oh dear.
CATHY: I told you it was too brittle.
WILL SCARLET: Actually, what you said was that it was too fragile.
(CATHY tuts bad-temperedly.)
ROBIN: Well, at least it’s done its job.
WILL SCARLET: Err, Cathy – with no bow to help me with or brother to save, what are you going to do now?
CATHY: I like… err leaves, so I thought I’d stick around in the forest for a bit longer.
WILL SCARLET: (Who smiles, showing a previously hidden vulnerability.) I’d like that.
[Green] SHERIFF: (Who pulls GISBOURNE’s sword out of SQUIRESBY’s dead body – and points it towards the edge of the forest.) Till next time, Robin.
[Forest] ROBIN: (Who raises his own, traditional bow and arrow, and says quietly but firmly:) Till next time…
(9) (Exactly as Act One, Scene 2 – the camera pans from the moon, on to the moonlit Sherwood Forest, it briefly stops on the same brown tawny owl who again seems to be watching over them, and then homes in on ROBIN and MARION, who are stood at the edge of the forest.)
MARION: So, was the King at the Halfway Inn, the real King?
ROBIN: Gisbourne thought so, but I felt he sounded more like Prince John… Much thought it was Longchamps!
MARION: Who?
ROBIN: Don’t ask. Whoever it really was, the threat from the Shadow Royals is broken.
MARION: And did you and Guy make a good team?
ROBIN: Whatever else he is, the man does have intelligence.
MARION: I told you he had qualities.
ROBIN: Yes, but not those sorts of qualities.
MARION: And was the Sheriff’s ‘mission’ a fool’s errand?
ROBIN: Probably. I don’t think the Sheriff fully believed the stories of Richard’s return, but still used them to get me out of the way so he could defeat my men, once and for all, in my absence. Assigning Gisbourne to join me, lent his alleged mission more credibility.
MARION: And, thinking opportunely, our wonderful Sheriff nearly succeeded through yet another King, Squiresby.
ROBIN: Yes.
MARION: I wonder what history will make of King Richard’s rumoured return to England? And, come to that, of the Sheriff of Nottingham and Sir Guy of Gisbourne?
ROBIN: And will Little John, Much, Alan A dale, Will Scarlet and even Cathy be richly remembered? And the beautiful Marion?
(ROBIN strokes MARION tenderly on the cheek, unwittingly mirroring GISBOURNE’s move on MARION.)
MARION: And what of the legendary, Robin Hood?
ROBIN: (Who smiles.) Yes, legend can be a funny thing…
(The watching owl seems to wink at the camera.)
CLOSING MUSIC AND CREDITS
Read An Audience with the King, an original ‘sideways glance’ that is intended to accompany and compliment this script in an original and thought-provoking way.
Look for PLAY OF THE MONTH at www.thearmchairdetective.moonf
ruit.com
www.thearmchairdetective.moonfruit.com
