“I’m not—”
“Don’t even try it,” Ryder told her, cutting her off. “I know your name is Ashley Bennett and you’re from San Antonio. I also know that not too long ago you were engaged to be married. What I don’t know is why you were at the motel that night.” He reached over and stroked a finger down her cheek. “So what happened?”
Moving her head, she drew away from him. Just the slightest touch from him made her feel warm and womanly, and she couldn’t afford to give in to those feelings.
“How did you find out my name?” she asked, and felt the panic rising inside her despite the fact that she’d been gone from her home four months and no one had come looking for her. If Ryder, a virtual stranger, could find her, then so could her father. He was a very powerful man. If he found out she was pregnant with his heir, she wouldn’t stand a chance against him if he tried to take the baby from her.
“It wasn’t hard,” Ryder informed her. “The medicine bottle had a name on it and I had a friend check it out for me. It didn’t take much to figure out who you were. It helped that you’d accessed your bank account here in Rocksprings.”
Ryder didn’t tell her that he still had the clippings announcing her marriage. Every time he looked at them he felt a little knot in his gut, but he hadn’t been able to throw them away.
When he’d first read about it, he’d been shocked to find out that she’d spent what would have been her wedding night in his arms. Then he’d been just plain angry. What would make a woman run away on her wedding day and spend the night making love with a total stranger?
Surprised, Ashley stared at him. “How do you know that?”
“A friend did me a favor,” he answered.
“Why did you bother?”
Ryder shook his head, and his chuckle sounded a little strangled. “I don’t rightly know. That morning when I woke up and you were gone, I looked around and there was nothing of yours left in the room. I had to convince myself that you weren’t a figment of my imagination. To tell you the truth, at first I thought you’d rolled me.”
“I wouldn’t have done that.” Ashley smiled a little at the thought.
“I know that now, but I had a few choice words for you at the time. Then I guess when I figured out you hadn’t taken my wallet, it made me wonder why you’d given yourself to me that night. Were you just out for a one-night stand?”
“Of course not!” Ashley stated indignantly. “I’d never done anything like that in my life.” She blushed when she looked into his eyes.
“Yeah, I could tell,” Ryder answered, and his knowing look left no doubt as to how. “Then why did you leave that morning?”
Ashley sighed heavily. “I panicked. I couldn’t believe I’d done something so irresponsible.” So irresponsible that she’d gotten pregnant. Her thoughts made every muscle, every nerve in her body tense.
She just couldn’t tell him about the baby. This baby was her chance to start over. Maybe she didn’t have the kind of money she was raised with, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t take care of herself. She’d have a chance to live her life her own way. And she wanted this baby.
What if he found out and tried to take it away from her? She couldn’t stop the feeling of pure terror that rose inside her. She wouldn’t be able to stand it. No matter what, no one was going to raise her child but her.
“Why did you?” Ryder asked bluntly. “I know something, or better, someone, had made you upset enough to take pills. I thought when you woke up in the middle of the night that they’d worn off and you knew what you were doing.”
“I did,” Ashley admitted honestly. Those hours in his arms had taught her more about life than she’d ever been allowed to learn on her own. But what she’d done wasn’t anything to be proud of, either. “As I said before, I’d had a shock earlier and I was running on pure adrenaline. I needed someone, and you just happened to be there for me.”
Ryder grimaced. “Anyone would have done,” he concluded, a frown creasing his forehead. “Is that right?”
Ashley didn’t deny his accusation. If he thought the night she’d spent with him meant nothing special to her, he’d probably leave her alone—which was exactly what she wanted. She was afraid of what he could make her feel and just as afraid of him finding out about the baby.
Feeling as though he’d been struck, Ryder stared at Ashley. He’d always thought of himself as a good judge of character. At least he had been before he’d met Ariel. Ashley was no different, he was finding out. Feeling gullible left a bad taste in his mouth.
Gritting his teeth, he said, “You haven’t said why you were there in the first place. What was so shocking that you ended up alone in the Blue Eagle?” he asked.
Ashley’s spine stiffened. “That’s not important now.”
“Maybe not to you, but it is to me. Was it your family?” he pressed.
Her eyes flew to his. “What makes you ask that?”
He shrugged. “Once I found out who your father was, I started wondering if the way you acted had anything to do with him. A lot of people who grow up in privileged households have a difficult time adjusting to life.” His tone was matter-of-fact.
“You think I was a spoiled little rich girl out to defy my parents because I couldn’t have my own way,” she surmised. Ashley supposed that would have been a logical conclusion. But he couldn’t have been more wrong. She was too embarrassed to admit how she was raised. In a way, it was defiance that drove her to take off on her own.
“You wouldn’t be the first,” Ryder told her. “That’s exactly what I thought when I first laid eyes on you.” Then, after he’d rescued her, she’d looked at him so innocently, he’d been foolish enough to believe he was wrong. Well, she’d proved just the opposite by her actions.
“That wasn’t the way it was.” She touched his arm, then snatched her hand back when she felt his corded muscles tighten. “Really, it wasn’t.”
“What was it, then, Ashley?” he asked, not really believing her.
Ashley stood and walked away, then turned to face him. She folded her arms about her. “Look this is getting us nowhere. Why I did what I did isn’t really important. It happened. It’s over. Let’s just put it behind us.”
Ryder stood and approached her. “What if I don’t choose to do that?” he asked, goading her. He still had a feeling that she wasn’t being quite truthful. He wanted to know why.
“You don’t have that option.”
“I say I do.” He stepped closer, leaving only inches between them. “No matter what you say, there’s still some spark between us. You can deny it all you want. It won’t make it go away.” That he wanted her wasn’t debatable. He’d wanted her from the first moment he’d walked into the diner and he still wanted her now. Being near her was making him damned uncomfortable.
Cupping his hand behind her head, he drew her closer. She put a hand against his chest, but he lowered his head and very slowly, very deliberately, touched his mouth to hers. He kissed first one corner, then the other. She tasted soft and just as innocent as he remembered.
Then he took her mouth fully and ran his tongue along her lips, sucking gently on them, coaxing them open. His tongue slipped past her teeth into the warmth of her mouth, then withdrew. So sweet, so good. Everything he’d been unable to forget. Her taste, her smell, the feel of her mouth beneath his. So damn sweet.
Soon the kiss turned into something more, something Ashley seemed unable to control. Ryder’s hand on her neck held her to him and her palm went to his cheek. She made a soft, sensual sound in her throat as she accepted the rough caress of his tongue.
The languid heat that stole through Ashley jarred her senses and a slow-burning coal of fire heated her belly. She forgot everything but the way this man made her feel.
Wanted.
Needed.
He’d made her feel that way once before and she’d ended up sleeping with him. He made her feel all the things she’d longed for when she was growing up. For a fe
w heady minutes she leaned closer to him, seeking his warmth, the hardness of his body, any part of him, every part of him.
He seemed to fill her, touch something deep inside her that she kept hidden away. There was something so right about being held by him. Ashley felt his body shudder when she slid her arms around his neck, her fingers toying with the blond strands of his hair. His hands went to her waist, pulling her closer into the heat of his embrace.
Ryder’s hand slid up her rib cage to her breast and he touched her, finding her hardened nipple through the soft fabric of her blouse. Ashley gasped from the intimate contact of his caressing fingers. She drew away from him and pushed hard against his chest, aware of the thunderous beat of his heart as she opened her eyes and stared at him.
“Stop, please,” she cried, her voice whisper soft. She tried to push away from him, but Ryder’s firm grip kept her from moving.
“Ashley,” he began, only to be cut off when she shook her head and spoke.
“No, I can’t. I won’t.” Her eyes speared him, shimmering with unshed tears. She didn’t want to get involved with him any more than she was. She’d learned the hard way not to trust men and had no reason to trust this one. She couldn’t take a chance on him trying to take her child from her. “I’m not going to sleep with you again.” There was a desperate note to her voice.
For a moment Ryder just glared at her, his lips pressed tight. He took a deep breath and expelled it with a long sigh, as if his patience was being sorely tested. “I’m not asking you to.”
Ashley knew that wasn’t true. He hadn’t said the words, but his body, his kisses, his touch, had made his intentions perfectly clear. Her own body had clamored for the same wild release. But she couldn’t afford to give in to those feelings.
“Ryder, I just don’t want to get involved with you. I think you’d better go.” Ashley felt a sense of connection with this man that scared her. She told herself it was just because he was her baby’s father. She didn’t need him or want him in her life.
Ryder frowned. “Darlin’, we’re already involved up to our eyeballs. If you think we’re not, just remember how easily we go up in flames every time we touch.” His thumb grazed her lower lip, still swollen from his kisses.
“That’s just—”
“Sex?” he interjected, repeating what she’d said earlier at the diner. “Maybe so. Why don’t we just go with it and see where it takes us?” He stroked a hand across her shoulder and down her arm.
Ashley pushed against his chest and was relieved when he turned her loose. She retreated to the far edge of the porch, a safe haven if only a small distance away from him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” The desire smoldering in his eyes told her exactly where it would lead if she spent any time with him.
“All right. I’ll go and give you some space. But make no mistake about it, darlin’. I’ll be back.”
Ashley shook her head. “No.”
“Yes, Ashley.” The stubborn remark was gentled by the softness in his blue eyes.
“I want you to leave me alone.”
“I’m not ready to do that.”
“Why?” she asked, her gaze desperately searching his expression. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? What is it you want from me?”
“I don’t know.” Ryder wasn’t sure what to say because he wasn’t sure of his own motives. He knew he wanted her in the most basic way, felt she wanted the same thing, despite her protests. She intrigued him, and he’d never been intrigued by a woman in his life. Nor had he wanted a woman more than he wanted her. Not even Ariel. That thought scared him, but not enough to make him walk away just yet.
He still wanted some answers. He wanted to know who Ashley Bennett was, why she’d slept with him on her wedding day and why she was so evasive.
Grabbing his hat, he jammed it on his head. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Before she could say another word, he went down the porch steps and walked away.
Ashley watched him adjust his hat on his head as he walked up the street, his stride easy. The man just didn’t seem to know the word no. Well, he was going to learn, even if it meant the hard way. Ashley was determined to take care of her own problems.
So far no one in her family had come looking for her. But Ryder could have unknowingly stirred up trouble for her by asking questions about her. Damn Ryder McCall for giving her yet another thing to worry about. Ashley wanted to stand on her own two feet. Maybe she’d never wanted for money, but she was working hard now and earning her own way. It felt good that she could take care of herself and her child.
Miss Tilley was already gone the next morning when Ashley awoke. Hopefully, by the time she returned, Ryder would be out of her life. Bess, however, was full of questions when Ashley arrived at the diner an hour later.
“Everything go okay last night?” She started several pots of coffee brewing.
“Not exactly,” Ashley answered, reaching for a clean apron and tying it around her slightly thickening waist.
“You feelin’ poorly again this morning?” Bess looked up from her task and searched Ashley’s ashen face.
“A little.” She tried to smile reassuringly, hoping that the morning sickness would pass quickly. “I’m fine. Really.”
Her expression full of concern, Bess asked bluntly, “Is Ryder the baby’s father?”
Ashley had told Bess of her broken engagement when she’d first asked for the job as waitress. She’d explained that she needed some time alone to think about what she wanted to do with her life. Several weeks later when she realized she was pregnant, she’d told Bess that, too.
“Yes.” Ashley looked away and busied her hands by filling salt and pepper shakers.
Bess turned on the grill and tossed a large slab of bacon on it. “From what I can tell, he seems like a nice enough fella. Why didn’t you want to marry him?”
Ashley’s hands stilled. “Oh, Bess,” she murmured, looking away. Tears filled her eyes. At that moment, she felt as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”
Bess turned the heat down on the grill and walked over. She gently patted Ashley’s back. “What is it, child?” she asked, worry etched in the lines of her craggy face.
Ashley met Bess’s eyes, her expression somber. “What I have to tell you, well, I just don’t want you to think bad of me.”
Bess hugged her. “Nothing you could say would make me change the way I feel about you, child. You must know that.”
Ashley didn’t know how to say it tactfully, so she just blurted out, “Ryder isn’t the man I was engaged to. He’s the baby’s father, but I only spent one night with him. The night before I showed up here.” She expected to see shock and disappointment register on Bess’s face, but she didn’t.
Ashley quickly explained that she’d left home when she’d found her fiancé with another woman on her wedding day. “I did some foolish things that night, one of them was going to bed with a stranger.”
“Ryder.”
Ashley compressed her lips and swallowed hard. “Yes.” She filled in the rest of the details, how she’d been sick, how Ryder had taken care of her. “He never once made a pass at me. I was the one who encouraged him.” She flushed but continued talking. “I needed something that night and Ryder seemed to be able to give it to me.
“I’m not talking about sex. It probably sounds stupid, but it was much more than that. You see, my stepmother is a cold woman and my father, well, from the time I was born, he forgot I existed. The only thing he cares about is money. I was never shown love or approval. No one ever held me or tucked me in bed at night.”
Drawing a breath, she sniffed back tears. To give her hands something to do, she began filling the shakers again as she talked. “That night I woke up to find Ryder sleeping beside me.” Her hands shook and she took a deep breath to calm herself. “He’d stayed with me through the night just to be sure I was all right. He was gentle and kind and treated me special. I ju
st wanted one perfect memory, one time in my life when someone wasn’t controlling or using me.”
Bess picked up the spatula and turned her attention to the grill, spreading the bacon out, watching it pop and sizzle. “I guess you never intended to turn up pregnant, either, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.” Ashley blushed bloodred. “Even now, I can’t believe how irresponsible I was.”
“So I guess you haven’t thought much about him since then?”
Ashley wanted to lie but she couldn’t. She had thought about Ryder. Too often. But she’d told herself that a man like Ryder McCall had probably slept with a lot of women. She’d been just a warm body in the night. That was all.
“If you have to think about your answer that long, I guess I can figure it out. ’Course, it don’t surprise me none. The man oozes sex appeal.”
Ashley’s head whipped around. “Bess!” Keeping herself from grinning, she forced a frown.
“I might be an old married woman, but I’ve still got eyes. It doesn’t hurt to look, and your man’s real easy on the eyes.”
“He’s not my man,” Ashley quickly replied, scowling.
“So you weren’t going to search him out and tell him he was going to be a father?”
“No,” Ashley admitted, and felt her cheeks burn from the admission. “It’s my responsibility. I got myself into this. Anyway, I’ll never be sorry about the baby.”
“Ashley, child, it took both of you to make that baby. That makes it half his. Besides, whether you want to tell him or not is irrelevant. I don’t think you’re going to have any choice.”
“What do you mean?” Ashley looked up at Bess, who nodded toward the front window of the diner.
“Look outside.”
Ashley’s gaze followed Bess’s and she saw Ryder stop his truck in front of the diner. Seconds later he came strolling in as if he’d been doing it for years. He stopped just on the other side of the counter.
“Morning,” he said as he looked at Ashley. His gaze took in her frown and pale skin color. “Are you feeling all right?” he asked.
Cowboys, Babies and Shotgun Vows Page 6
