“So you’re just telling me that my grandfather was an ass?”
“No! I think it was more complicated than that. At first, they were both in love. I think she really must have loved learning to read, and having long talks with him by moonlight, and going to the theater. But she could never be a part of his world the way I was a part of yours. I mean, we’ll never really know what went on between them, in the end…” She shook her head. “I don’t want to judge them. It is their business now. But she did something very, very wicked, in the end. When she heard of the marriage between your grandfather and Princess Intara, she cursed your house.”
“Cursed?”
“Yes. She asked for your grandfather’s descendants to be plagued with misfortune.”
“Is that why my family has been dying? Why we have struggled to have children? That witch? I should have run a blade through her on the bloody spot! If I had known—”
She bit her lip. “Wrin, I am so sorry. But this is why I had to take the spell and change back into a mermaid, even if it means I’ll lose you. I had this vague sense that she had told me something really important. I am actually so glad, in a way, that you were already going to give me the shore-stone back. It makes the decision easier to bear. It was meant to happen, I guess. I was always meant to end up back where I started…”
“Don’t say that, sunshine.”
She shook her head, as if forcing herself not to succumb to emotion. “I need your grandfather’s diary. He wrote a confession in it. An apology to her. I want to show it to her. I’m going to make her break the curse.”
“Are you now?”
“Well, I’ll try as best I can. Go on, hurry and get that diary! Ellara knows what I’m talking about. Maybe we can save your father.”
She started to push me away, and then she pulled me close instead. She gripped the collar of my jacket and kissed me like it was the last time we would ever see each other. I wanted her more than ever. I couldn’t bear to consider that our time together really was at an end.
“I’m going to find a way, sunshine.”
Her eyes welled and I knew: to save my father, for Talwyn to see her sisters again, we would both choose the same, even if I never found a way. “Go,” she said.
Chapter Eighteen
Talwyn
My sisters were waiting for me just offshore.
“Please!” Mirella cried, when I told them my plan. “Don’t bother the witch again! She wasn’t very nice to us, demanding our hair. What if she does something worse to you this time?”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “She cursed Wrin’s family. I have to see her. Please—go to the village and spread the word that I’ll wait for her at the Wolf’s Jaw.”
“We’re not doing any such thing.”
“That witch is going to curse you next! And then what? All you care about anymore is that man. You don’t care a barnacle for us anymore.”
Great. A few weeks without me and my timid sisters had transformed into rebellious, opinionated youths.
“Of course I care about you!” I said. “But you know, girls, maybe it’s time to admit that we want different things. You’re happy to be mermaids. You want to stay in one place, spend more time in the village, and have more friends there. I don’t want to stop being your sister, but I don’t want to live in the village. I’d be bored sick. The palace and the sea are so close that if I stayed with Wrindel, we could still see each other all the time. But…if we all kept trying to pretend that we wouldn’t rather be doing something else…we wouldn’t love each other as much as we do.” I pulled them into an embrace. “Someday I’ll tell you the whole story of Rusa, and you’ll see. It’s not a good idea to pretend you’re happy being somewhere just because you love someone. Even worse to keep them in a place they don’t want to be.”
Wrindel brought me the small, precious book that I could not read, wrapped in a shiny waterproof cloth. I couldn’t take it underwater. I swam on the surface, holding it above my head. The waves were rough on the surface and knocked me about. The sun was rising by the time I reached the Wolf’s Jaw.
When I got there, she was already waiting.
I saw her in the distance, and froze. What was I thinking, trying to demand an old witch remove a curse, based on a grudge she had been holding for two hundred years? Did I think she would read the diary and then shrug and go, Ah, well, never mind, I understand now.
I remembered Ellara telling me how elves could be petty because they lived so long.
This isn’t going to work. I don’t have any magic. I can’t make her do anything. She knows I love Wrindel, but no matter how much I beg and plead for her to have mercy on his family, she will only relish it.
But I was the only hope of Wrindel’s family, to end the curse that had caused them so much grief. I had to do something.
Rusa might be old, and she might know magic, but her heart is the same as anyone else’s. Magic didn’t make a person immune to anger, sadness, grief, or heartbreak. I couldn’t let her intimidate me. I had to handle her just as I would handle anyone else.
I could hear my mother’s voice. Don’t give people what they expect. Give them what they really want.
I drew closer. She was perched on the tallest rock of the Wolf’s Jaw. It was a formation of jutting, sharp rocks that formed a line marching out to sea off the coast of a small Wyndyrian island. Her jewelry gleamed in the rising sun. Her white hair was loose, whipping across her wizened body, and her eyes were locked on me the entire way. The sight of her truly gave me a shudder. I seemed to feel the cold more than I did before.
She expected me to be afraid, so I knew I could not show my fear. What did she want?
Knowing Rusa’s story, I think she must have regretted going with the king for her entire life. It probably ate at her. She probably missed reading and the theater and the talks they had once shared. There was no way to make that choice without regret. She probably cursed herself for how it had gone wrong. And that was why she cursed him too.
I could have told her all that from the start, but I’m sure she would have snapped at me. She wouldn’t want to admit she was wrong.
All I could do now was tell her that she was right. That I had learned something from all of this, that I wanted to learn more. That she was a wise and powerful witch and not a stupid lovesick girl.
“Rusa!” I called up to her perch. “I wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me?”
“Yes,” I said. “You showed me what I would have if I succumbed to the Great Temptation. I never could understand before what it was just to be. And now I do.”
She seemed vaguely confused, and then just as vaguely pleased. “Was he not all you hoped for?”
“In the end, nothing is more important than family. That’s what you wanted to teach me, isn’t it? You truly are a wise woman.”
“Who said I wanted to teach you anything?”
“Then why else did you send me to the land? There is one thing I just didn’t get at first. You told me it’s easier to be cruel. But I see now, you must have a hard heart to be a witch, isn’t that true? You have to make hard choices. You were right to leave the king.”
“Who are you to judge whether I was right?” She flung herself off the ledge of the rock and dove into the water beside me. I edged back, trying to protect the book from the splash while hiding a sudden wave of panic. Now she was getting angry. Perhaps I had gone too far when I brought up the king.
“You—you wanted me to know your story, didn’t you? You wanted me to understand you, and—and I’m ready now. I want to study magic with you.”
I was acting on pure instinct now. What would an old woman want? To be honored and remembered, at the end of her life.
“Magic,” she hissed. “All you want is a pretty elven man.”
“I want a lot more than a pretty elven man. I always have.”
“You’ve never shown yourself to have any desire to learn magic from me. You think you’ll win me wi
th flattery?”
“Not flattery,” I said. “I truly did learn something. And it is all thanks to you. I learned that the Great Temptation goes both ways. That I will never be entirely happy on land or sea. That I will always be torn between Wrindel and my sisters. Is that what you wanted from me? Why else did you do this? You’ve already cursed the elves. What was your aim?”
“I have no aim. It amuses me.”
“I don’t believe you.”
She pursed her lips. Then she looked down, running her fingers along the stones. For a moment my heart leapt as she touched the necklace of shore-stones. Yes, I thought. Give me another shore-stone. Let me go back to him!
“He loved you,” I said. “His descendants have suffered because of your curse.”
“He loved me? I suppose that’s what they told you.”
“I know you can read,” I said. I handed her the book. “This is Lefior’s diary.”
She opened the pages and turned them slowly. She saw handwriting that must have been familiar to her.
She turned away from me, toward the rock, tilting the pages toward the sun, and read while I waited. Long, tense moments passed. As she read, her breathing caught with emotion.
Then, she demanded, “You read this?”
“Princess Ellara read it to me.”
“So, I suppose you think that’s love. Realizing, years later, after he’s married someone else, that he wasn’t fair to me. He didn’t love me. He thought I was beautiful and unusual, and I was his way of defying a life that chafed at him. He wouldn’t let me go, but he had complete control over when I saw him and what I could do. He never touched my tail; it was abhorrent to him.”
I shook my head, pained at the thought. “I—I understand you, Rusa. I do. You were right to leave. And he was wrong to keep you there. You sent me to Wrindel because you want me to repeat your mistakes, don’t you? You want to know you weren’t alone; that mermaids and men will always fall into the same trap. It’s time to let that go. We can’t be happy if we won’t admit to ourselves what we really need or want. And I do want Wrindel. Wrin is not Lefior, and I am not you. Spare Wrindel’s father. I will not beg. But I will ask.”
She looked at the fading brilliance of the sky as the sun dawned over the city. “I suppose this is the closest I shall ever have to an ending, isn’t it? Happy, or otherwise…” Her hands lifted to the back of her neck and unfastened the clasp of one of her necklaces, which held a single smoky gem.
“That is the curse,” she said. “It was born of the water, and it will be broken by fire.” She slipped the chain into my hand.
“Thank you…” I clasped the stone so hard I could feel the ridges of the setting dig into my skin.
She turned to go.
I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I thought of going back to Wrindel like this, and words spurted out of me in desperation. “Is there—no way then—for me to change back into a human?”
“The spell I gave your sisters broke the enchantment of the shore-stones for you, once and for all. You are a mermaid, and a mermaid you will remain.”
I sucked in a furious breath. “But—”
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You were willing to make this sacrifice to break the curse. Bring it to your prince. His father will live a good long life. If you love him that much, there are many pools in the Palace of Waterfalls to accommodate you.”
I cursed, and Rusa laughed like this pleased her. Then she slipped under the water, taking the diary with her, to be waterlogged and ruined.
Cruel to the end. If breaking the curse worked, then I supposed I had “won”, but it felt like a hollow victory.
Chapter Nineteen
Wrindel
I had sentries posted at the water to watch for Talwyn, while I kept vigil over my father’s deathbed with Ithrin. He had slipped into unconsciousness.
My life was drawn into a tight focus. All my years of dallying had not brought me as much happiness as these weeks with Talwyn. I clenched my hands on the carved arms of my chair, remembering how I felt when I made love to Talwyn—like I wanted her so badly that it was almost a torture, even though she was right there in my arms. If I let her go, I knew I would imagine her face, and her voice, attached to every other woman I ever knew.
This was love, and it was crueler than I could have ever guessed.
“Prince Wrindel!” One of my sentries spoke breathlessly after opening the door without even knocking. He should have been reprimanded for that, probably, but right now no one cared. “Talwyn returned and she asked me to give you this.” He held a necklace.
I stepped outside with him, so I wouldn’t disturb my father. Ithrin and Ellara, who had been waiting with me, followed. “What is this?” I asked.
“She says it must be thrown into a hot fire and that will end the king’s sickness. My apologies for bursting in, your highnesses.”
“This is urgent,” Ithrin said. “The kitchen staff will be up and getting their fires hot. We can take it down there.”
“Did Talwyn say anything else?” I asked.
“No, your highness. But I think she is there still.”
“We can take care of the necklace,” Ellara said. “Why don’t you go see her?”
Ithrin gave me a concerned look and clapped my shoulder. He was trying to be comforting, but it didn’t work at all, because his eyes said, I’m sorry. You love her, don’t you, you poor bastard?
“I suppose you think it serves me right for all my lack of responsibility,” I muttered.
“I didn’t say anything,” Ithrin said.
I rushed out, my wet boots squelching down the stairs. I had not dared take the time to change them.
Talwyn was sitting on the beach, looking out toward the water, her fingers working tangles out of her hair, but as I came close, she turned to me.
I sat down beside her. Now the seat of my trousers was wet, too. But I just didn’t care.
“You got the necklace, right?” she asked.
“Ithrin and Ellara are throwing it into the fire right now.”
“Wrin…I’m sorry. I think this is it. Rusa said the shore-stones won’t work on me anymore. I’m stuck like this…”
“Stuck? No. You are what you are, sunshine.”
“A fish?” She rubbed her eyes. “I want to be with you.”
Talwyn and I had gotten to know each other out here on the shore, just like this. At the time, I tried not to let myself admit I was falling for her. We were too different, I thought.
She didn’t seem different to me anymore. She was Talwyn. My Talwyn.
“A fish?” I shook my head. “Don’t insult yourself. Are the darklings animals because they have tails? Are goblins beasts because they have horns? No, you’re a woman. And I love you.”
I pulled her onto my lap, which was very easy, slippery little thing that she was, and kissed her. It was a high bar to say that was the best kiss we’d ever had, but I dare to say it was. It was a kiss with no pretense, no fantasy. She was her true self, and I was my true self, and for all the problems that entailed, I still loved her.
“I love you too,” she breathed.
I took her breasts in my hands, teased and tugged at her nipples. “I can still bring you pleasure, can’t I, sunshine?” I asked before nipping at her earlobe and trailing kisses down her neck.
I laid her back on the gritty sand. The waves tugged at her hair. I kissed her everywhere, sucking her nipples, licking the saltwater off her neck, sliding my hands down her waist to her hips. She was certainly no fish; her curves were all woman and the skin of her tail was not slimy at all, but supple and soft as silk. I could feel her muscles tensing as I touched her, and then relaxing as I stroked her. She was magic to me, my mermaid, a girl who could live in a world that drowned men.
“Wrin…” She was deeply flushed and I realized how little I cared if she was a human or a mermaid. The sense of wonder and delight I felt around her, the protective hunger she provoked in me
, was precisely the same.
“Marry me,” I said. “Talwyn, I want you to marry me.”
“But…how? What do we do? Rusa and King Lefior tried this path. It only made them miserable. I can’t spend my life in some little freshwater pool in the palace. I want to be with you, but it won’t work.”
“King Lefior kept Rusa in the palace all the time, didn’t he? I don’t want to keep you. Just…come to me sometimes. You said the merfolk have a season for mating. Ten days out of every two months, something like that? Come to me then.”
“But we can’t mate. I can’t give you heirs.”
“Heirs are Ithrin’s problem. I just want you. I’ll find ways to satisfy you that won’t produce any heirs, sunshine.”
Her little ears were so pink that I wanted to eat them. “You really…don’t care if I’m stuck—I mean, if I’m like this forever?”
“Of course I’m going to keep trying to find a way to bring you back to my world. But—I don’t love you for your legs. There’s a wide variety of love in the world. I’ve seen a good bit of it going on at the taverns. Ours can work too. I believe that. I don’t want you to live your life feeling regret for what you are because you couldn’t be with me. More selfishly, I just don’t want anyone else.”
“Wrin…” Finally, she broke into a smile. “I’m willing to try.”
I carried her back to the palace as the bells of the square were ringing. Those bells rang for holidays and weddings, and I knew what they must mean.
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