I can’t imagine ever understanding this.
“Why have I been brought here?” I feel so small in this room with these two… creatures. I glance between them, feeling Devin’s eyes penetrating me.
“Devin chose you.” He says it as if that’s all I need to know to explain everything.
I lock eyes with this blonde; he chose me. I remember the text he sent me, but I wonder now. Can a demon love? He was an angel once upon a time, do those things linger? Is it possible? Does it even matter if he can? My heart is Andrew’s, not Devin’s. Why am I even thinking like this?
What if I never see Andrew again? He’s going to think I left him. I imagine him hating me, spewing out vile things assuming I’ve broken his heart in the worst way.
“Don’t cry-” Devin steps towards me.
I shake my head, he stops.
“Chose me for what?”
“Devin rarely interacts on a personal level, I’m sure he’s advised you of who he is. He avoids contact, preferring to generate lust other ways. You captured him, so fully that he came to me and asked me for you. Who am I to deny such a request?”
I look up into the hollow depths of his eyes and immediately regret it, looking back down. I can’t tolerate the strange feelings when I meet his eyes, the black, the feeling of falling that swallows me.
“Once he was allowed to touch you… he became obsessed with you. Cora, you have bewitched him; he has become transfixed by your very soul.”
I take in a breath, looking up to meet his golden eyes. How can this be?
“How is something like that even possible?”
“The scriptures speak of this. Before the great flood, angels looked on women and saw their beauty, and fled the heavens to be with them. Perhaps you remember? The Nephilim were created from their encounters.”
I nod, the story rings a bell. I didn’t know such a thing was still possible. Then again, I had no idea that it was real.
What happens if I ask to go home? Too afraid to ask, I look up at Devin again. Still staring at me. My heart thumps in my chest.
“Why is everything so dark here?”
“Sin. The sinful nature of mankind makes the world a dark, dark place. We’ve adapted, those of us that reside here. We will take care of you, Cora. You’ve nothing to fear.”
I take in a slow, deep breath. “But Andrew, he will think that I left him,” I say in a small voice, fearing that he might think I’m arguing with him.
“Your relationship was volatile at best. He will come to accept the truth, and you will as well. Devin will see to it that you are well cared for. Doesn’t he give you pleasure, Cora?”
I flush. What a question. I look up. “Yes, he knows he does.”
“He just wants to be with you. Do you see that?”
It’s just at this moment that I realize that I’m going to end up having sex with him, again. I’m here in this place against my will, and suddenly I want him.
He must be doing this to me on purpose. How am I to resist someone with such carnal powers? How do I even begin?
And Xander. Someone, somewhere once told me that the Devil weaves the truth in with his lies, making it hard to decipher and easy to believe. But everything he’s said seems true. Judging by the way Devin is staring at me, as if his secret has been exposed and he’s waiting for me to say something about how he feels for me.
“I think you just need some time to settle. Devin will take you back, and I think you will see that you will be happy.”
“What about my friend out there? What has happened to her?” I ask, standing.
“She is free to make her own choices. That’s what she’s doing.”
But at what cost? “I just don’t understand it, why would she throw everything away?”
Xander stands. He cups my chin in his hand and raises my face. As much as I try not to, I’m forced to start into his eyes. I feel strange, as if the floor has gone out from under me and his words wrap around me like something warm.
“Believe me when I say, I will take care of her. She will want for nothing, just as you. Do you believe me?”
I let the warmth of his voice seep into my pores and I nod.
“I do believe you.”
“Good. Devin, take her.” He releases me.
Devin walks me back to the apartment in silence. I’m in a daze, feeling as if I never really came back to myself after Xander’s last words to me.
I sit down on the couch in the apartment. Devin shuts the door and an awkward silence falls between us.
“Is this my life now?” I ask, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them. Have I lost everything I knew? The chance for a family? A baby and a happy marriage? My job helping kids? Will I ever have anything like that again? Am I forever trapped here, unable to touch anyone I love?
“Am I not enough for you?” There is a weight to his words that was never there before. It draws my eye.
“It’s not about that.”
He turns, looking down on me. “I don’t understand.”
“I know. You can’t, you’re not human. You don’t know love, or sadness, or anything. You’re a walking hormone.”
He steps up to me. “You think I don’t know love? Sadness? Despair? You forget I was an angel. I walked the heavenly streets. I looked into the face of Christ. I’ve felt love and joy like you’ve never known, like you can never imagine. Is that so easily forgotten?”
His words are so powerful they hit me with almost a physical force. I keep my eyes down, fearing what I might see if I look into his face.
“Why did you leave it all behind?”
“My reasons were my own. Do not assume so little of me.”
“How can I assume anything? I just found out what you are only hours ago. I’m lost between worlds.”
“How can you compare me to him? This man that turned his back on you when you wanted nothing more than to bare his child? This man that watched you walk away and didn’t demand more of you? Look at me and tell me that you believe that I would do that. I am a creature that can cross the universe in a whim. I can travel in time. I can whisper a word and be anywhere I choose. I chose you.”
“It’s true then, what he said?” I ask, finally looking up.
Devin falls to his knees before me, pulling my legs out of the way so that I can’t hide behind them. His hair falls long as he leans close to my face. I take in a breath, as his gaze seems to caress me, my lips, my throat, before moving back to my eyes.
“You’ve been my obsession since I first touched you, since that first taste of your kiss, your skin, the first sound of your sigh under my body. I can’t go an eternity knowing that I didn’t do everything in my power to make you mine. It would haunt me until the end of time.” There is an anger in his words, as if he doesn’t like the feelings that he’s having.
“You’re angry?”
He leans into to me, as if for a kiss, but falls short, halting my breathing.
“I hate that you’ve made me lose control.”
His hands find my hips, tugging them forward on the couch, pulling me into a slouch. I can see he doesn’t want to talk about it any longer. His eyes become hooded and heavy with desire, his lust so palpable that I can almost touch it.
“Do you still feel it?” he whispers, teasing my lips.
“The ache?” I breathe.
“Yes. Do you hurt for me?” His lips brush mine. “Would you want this for eternity?”
Eternity. The word echoes in my head, and as the darkness swirls around us, I forget why I was upset. Whatever had me bothered is growing blurry as I stare into his eyes. I don’t remember where I’m supposed to be.
“Time will tell.”
He smiles at me.
Chapter Eighteen
Andrew
I sit across an empty table, in a bare room, at the police station. A young, blonde officer stares at me across this small space, tapping her pen on a small note pad placed on the table in front of her.
; “Look, it’s been days. She wouldn’t do this, I know her. Something must have happened to her.” I hold my head in my hands, looking across the table, knowing she’s patronizing me.
She smiles a sweet smile, shifts in the seat. Leather from her gun belt squeaks.
“Mr. Davies, you must realize that your wife is a grown woman. At twenty-nine years old, she can make her own choices. I see no evidence of foul play here. From what you told me, it sounds very likely that she ran off with this other man.”
“It just doesn’t make sense. Why would she say all those things to me and then just up and leave? Why not tell me while I was gone to stay away? I understand your line of thought, but it doesn’t work here. Can’t you just look into it?”
“Have you made contact with this man?”
I shake my head.
“I’ve tried. I can’t reach him. I went to the doctor’s office where he worked and they said he’s no longer there. He just up and left. Who does something like that? Especially a doctor. Doctors advise their patients that they are moving, they don’t just vanish.”
“Which makes me suspicious that they ran off together. In an effort to avoid an awkward scene, they just took off. Unfortunately, sir, I see this all the time. Without something more concrete, there isn’t anything that we can do. We will have all this information documented though. If you do hear more, please let us know. I’d like to look into it, but it just looks to me like she left.”
She stands up, signaling the end to this… whatever it was. A waste of time is what it was. I sit back in the chair and she moves to open the door. The small interview room is just off the lobby of the police station, therefore taking police reports in a comfortable and private environment. I look up, knowing that if I say anything else it’s a waste of my breath.
“You can stay here and gather yourself if you need to. Here’s my card.” She scribbles a number on it. “This is your event number should more information come up. I hope you are able to find her. Have a nice evening.”
She walks out, leaving me alone.
Now what? I’ve been missing Cora for four days now. No sign of her, or Devin. I’ve talked to that Xander guy every damn day looking for his friend. Somehow, I just know that blonde dickhead is the key to this. He was the last one seen with her. He was the one that showed up in the middle of the night uninvited, which I always thought was strange.
I believe Cora when she said she had no idea what he wanted. She never would have come to the bar that night if she was expecting him. Despite everything, I know she wouldn’t ever go to be with him now that we made a commitment to work on our marriage. She wanted to be happy, she looked happy.
The image of her laying in my arms, smiling up at me, brown eyes bright, plays in my head. It felt so damn good to have her back. To feel her body and hear her voice, that giggle.
But I only had it for a little over a day before I lost it again. I refuse to believe she left. I am positive she was taken from me.
Which of course gives rise to new thoughts. Why was she taken? Is she even alive? Is she hurt somewhere, left alone or locked up? Taken prisoner?
My chest hurts. Standing up, I rub my sternum in a weak effort to release the pain. Sitting here, in this place, isn’t doing anything. At this point, however, I don’t know what to do. I’ve called everyone I know to call. Her parents, who live in New York, her estranged younger brother, my family, old friends. People we haven’t seen or talked to in years. I plastered her face all over Facebook, Twitter, and every other social media site. Her phone was left in her office, so I can’t call her or try to track her with it somehow.
I’m at an impasse. Walking out the door, the cool evening air hits my face. It’s far from refreshing. I get in my car and just sit there, in the silence, my chest pain grows tighter.
“I’m going to give myself a damn heart attack at twenty-eight years old,” I mumble, rubbing my chest again. I reach into the cup holder, where I’ve got a bottle of Tums, I pop four in my mouth.
Starting the car, the radio assaults my ears. I forgot to turn it down. Weird thing is, it’s on a Christian station. I left it on rock. The soft voice of a woman is offering prayer on a call in show.
When was the last time I prayed? I listen to her for a moment. I used to go to church. I was active as a teenager, kept me out of a lot of trouble. Gave me good judgement when it came to some bad situations. I’ve fallen away from the “narrow path,” however. My mom always used to tell me that it didn’t matter. That “Jesus never lost one soul, he won’t lose yours.”
I wonder if that’s true. Marriage to an unbeliever has taken its toll on me. Not that I was ever some high rolling Jesus freak, but I had faith. I knew where to go when it counted.
“You still there God?” I call into the silence, my head falling back on the headrest as the car idles in the parking lot. “You must be, you’re eternal, right?” I laugh stupidly. “Do you still hear the prayers of those of us that left you behind? Chose the wrong road? My mom always said you did. She told me that you loved us no matter what, and accepted us the way we are. I hope that’s true, because I’m a mess right now.”
My voice breaks on a sob. I haven’t let myself cry, the pain being too much to bear. Hence, chest pains. Now tears threaten my eyes as I try to force a lump down my throat. “My wife is missing. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve looked everywhere I know to look. I’m homeless, and alone. Dealing with this insurance company for my house while looking for Cora, all while trying to keep my boss off my back. He doesn’t care what I’m going through. If I miss one more day he will fire me. Honestly, I don’t care. I just want my wife back.
“Please help me. I know, it must be a pretty awful thing to do, coming to you only when I’ve reached the end of my rope. But I need help, and no one else will give it to me.”
Tears dribble down my face. I stare up at the bright neon of the police station sign by the door. No voice fills the air. The radio changes to a new show, nothing comes from there in the form of some miraculous answer. So, I start the car and head home.
Once at Eric’s, I debate on feeding myself and decide against it. I grab some water, down it, and head for the shower. I’m glad he’s not here. I don’t want company. I don’t need him looking at me with pity. Telling me how sorry he is, that I can talk to him.
I don’t want to talk. I want her back. I want my life back. I glance at the time as I turn the hot water up all the way. Almost ten. I wonder if I’ll sleep tonight. Glancing at my reflection as I pull off my tee shirt, I pause. I look like shit. I haven’t eaten since yesterday, forced by Eric. I haven’t been sleeping, opting to drive around and look for Cora, or search for new credit card charges, anything that might give me a clue.
The tears that threatened me in the car break me down now. I sit down on cold porcelain. Warming rapidly under a very, hot spray. The water pours over me, mingling with the saltwater on my face as I shake with sobs like a sad child.
“Mom I wish you were still here. I really need you,” I whimper to Heaven. She died a few years ago. I was always a bit of a mama’s boy, and it tore me up when she died so much younger than I ever expected her to.
“Mom you must be able to see what’s going on up there. Can you tell me where she is? She wouldn’t really leave, would she? That’s what everyone keeps saying. It’s not true. I know if you were here, you would believe me. You always loved her.”
I talk to my mom until the water runs cold and I’m chilled and naked, forced to turn the water off and move. Another look at my reflection. I’m still pale, still in need of a shave and sleep.
I crawl into my bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. The blackness of the night sooths my exhausted eyes as they grow heavy. As I drift off, I find myself wishing it would sooth my heart as well.
The feel of a slow gentle hand strokes my hair, rousing me from a fitful sleep. I catch the scent of her perfume, White Diamonds, fills my nostrils and my eyes open slowly.
Her sm
iling face warms me. “Mom.” I smile.
She sits on the bed facing me. Her hair is just how I remember, dark brown and to her shoulders. Her brown eyes are happy.
“Son, you aren’t well are you?” Her voice is kind, yet laced with worry.
I sit up only to be pulled into her arms as if I were a little child again.
“Mom it’s such a mess. I don’t know what to do.”
She kisses my forehead and sighs.
“I know. I heard your prayer. He let me come to comfort you.”
“Who is he?”
“The Father. Our Lord. He let me come to see you after hearing your prayer.”
God sent her. Of course, she’s been in heaven for two years now.
“Mom, do you know where she is? I can’t find her. Did she leave me?”
She wipes tears off my face.
“No, child. She didn’t leave you. She has been deceived, and has been hidden from your eyes.”
“Where is she? How can I find her?” I inhale her scent again. It sooths my soul.
“In the shadows. You must write to her, let her know you are waiting.”
She hands me a leather bound book with a strap looped around it securing it closed. I open it to see it blank inside.
“I don’t understand.”
“You will, when it matters. Write to her. She will forget, and you must make her remember with your words. I have to go.”
She takes my face in her hands and kisses my forehead again.
“My son, I love you. I’m watching you always. Write, and remember, this must be done to protect your daughter.”
I look up from the book. “Daughter? We don’t have a daughter, Mom—”
“You will. You must protect her, even now.”
Is Cora pregnant? Daughter? “What’s her name?”
She smiles.
“I can’t tell you that.”
She stands up and I reach for her, she lets me take her hand.
“Don’t go.”
Lucifer's Game Page 13
