by K. K. Allen
Taking a deep inhalation, I moved toward her. Trip was nowhere in sight when I climbed the rocks to stand beside her. Maybe he’d gone on ahead. All that mattered was that for a moment, we were alone again.
Neither of us said a word as we stood there, basking in the tranquil sounds of nature all around us—from the water flowing over the creek rocks that marked 1.5 miles into our journey, to the susurrus of fir trees as they blew in the wind, and to the wildlife singing their familiar songs.
Crisp air filled our lungs as our gazes panned from one end of the valley to the other. Birds fluttered past us and soared through the endless blue sky.
“Look at that,” she whispered.
I searched above us to find whatever she was seeing just as her hand clutched mine.
“An eagle.” She gasped. “Wait, two eagles.” She pointed at the sky with her free hand and traced the path of the birds as they flew low overhead. One of them swept the valley below before rising again into the sky to soar with the other. Their wings were rounded in shape and short in size.
“Those are red-tailed hawks,” I corrected her without thinking twice about it.
Her head snapped to me. “They’re what?”
“Red-tailed hawks.”
“How do you know that? They just look like big white birds to me.”
The annoyance in her voice over the fact that I knew something she didn’t made me smile. “I used to go bird watching with my mom on the reservation. She was fascinated by these guys, in particular. Their feathers are actually brown on top, but their underbellies are pale, almost white.” I squinted at the sky, where the hawks had risen to soar again in a wide circle overhead. “They love open spaces like this.”
We watched them duck into the valley before they rose back up into the sky.
“Are they—together?”
I smiled again. “Pairs who are courting usually soar together like that.” I nodded at where the male bird was parting ways with the female. “Watch.”
Her eyes faced forward completely, and she gasped as the hawk climbed high into the air and dove as if in a free fall with half-closed wings. When it rose again, it spiraled in its ascent until he was joined with the female again, and they locked their talons together and spun each other in midair.
“Wow,” Camila gushed, her small eyes wider than I’d ever seen them. “What was that?”
“A courtship flight. It’s a territorial ritual they engage in before breeding.”
We watched quietly as the hawks danced through the air then finally swooped down toward the thick with woods beneath us and disappeared.
Long after the birds had left our sight, I could feel Camila’s eyes on me. I met her stare. Unspoken words drifted between us, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I had so much to say. My reasons for leaving were so much more than what I’d confessed to her, and my feelings for her were somehow stronger than they ever had been. Years apart had done nothing to erase the forbidden ache I felt for my Wild One. And I wanted to tell her all of that.
“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”
Camila and I snapped our heads toward the voice coming from the other side of the trail. Trip stood there among the weeds, looking in the other direction. He was frozen still, and I knew he’d spotted a bear before I saw its black fur rippling as the silent beast crept toward him.
“Shit,” I muttered.
Camila turned her head sharply to me. She’d never heard me cuss, because I’d never found a use for such words until my move to Ouray. Being around so many different campers since working there had changed me. I’d become more outspoken and less worried about what anyone else’s agendas were. I lived for me and for the mountains, and my vocabulary had grown more colorful for it.
“Don’t move a muscle,” I called to Trip. “He’s more afraid of you than you are of him. Remember that. Got any bear spray on you?”
Trip shook his head, looking completely panicked and helpless as the bear continued to stare him down.
“I do,” Camila said, taking a step forward.
My hand gripped her arm so fast that her eyes shot to me in surprise.
“Give it to me.”
She searched my eyes until she realized she couldn’t fight me on this. “Here,” Camila said quietly, handing me her can.
I took a slow step forward, feeling her hand squeeze around my wrist.
“Be careful.”
I scanned her before nodding in thanks and ducking into the tall grass to make my way toward the field.
Just then, more of our group started to come into view as they climbed the hill. I held my hand out, catching Josie’s eye, in a gesture that made her stop immediately and direct the others behind her to do the same. I turned my attention back to Trip just as the black bear took several quick steps forward then stopped.
“Jesus,” Trip cursed, making me cringe.
“Stay calm,” I warned him. “Don’t move. That was just a bluff charge. He’s not going to attack. He’s just letting you know you’re too close.”
Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I tried to remember everything Jason had taught me. “Hey, bear,” I called, causing Trip to stare at me with wide eyes. I ignored him and waved my hands in the air. “Hey, bear. Hey. Go on.”
I darted a glance at Trip, who had started to take a quick step back to the trail, causing the bear to grunt.
“Slowly, Trip. Any sudden movement, and he’ll make you his dinner.”
Trip paused and turned back around to view the bear, who was grunting as if questioning what his next move should be. I took another slow step forward.
By the time I reached Trip’s side, the bear had already stopped his ascent, but I released a spray from the can for good measure. I didn’t even know if the stuff worked, since I’d never used it before, but after a final grunt from the beast, he started his retreat.
Several minutes later, the bear was completely out of sight, and we made our way back to the trail just as the rest of the group met up with us.
Camila still stood on her rock, while Raven threw her arms around her brother and gazed up at me. “Thank you, Ridge. You saved my brother’s life.” Her eyes were wide and tear-filled.
I waved it off. “Nah, but that brings me to my first important lesson of this hike. If you see a black bear, do not run away. Stay calm. And please, whatever you do, do not make direct eye contact. If a bear does charge you like that one did with Trip, stand your ground. The odds of them retreating are far better than you outrunning them.”
The tension seemed to roll off of some of their backs, while the others nodded to tell me they were listening.
I shrugged and grinned. “What’s a hike in the wilderness without a bear encounter?”
Nervous laughter flitted through the group.
“Shake it off, hikers. Take a breath, grab some water, pee on a tree, or whatever. Take a buddy if you’re heading into the woods, but don’t go far. We’ve got another two miles to go until we make camp, and I’d like to do it well before sunset.” I checked my watch. “We’ll take off in fifteen minutes.”
Camila stepped down from the rock and locked arms with Josie. Together, they started off into a section of woods, making my instinct kick in. I wanted to go after them and watch them, to ensure they would be okay. If anything happened to Camila on the trip, I would never forgive myself. Selfishly, I was glad Trip was the one who’d come face-to-face with the bear instead of her.
Without another glance in Camila’s direction, I took off toward the small stream, hoping for a reset. We’d been on the hike less than a day, and all I could think about was finding a way to get her alone. And those were dangerous thoughts to entertain.
21
Camila
Ridge kept in front of the pack for the rest of the hike, and it had everything to do with Trip’s bear encounter. In return, Trip didn’t fight him on the lead. Instead, he hung back with his sister at the tail of our group. I managed to stay near Ridge, b
ut he never allowed me to get too close, making it obvious in his quick steps whenever I did manage to bridge our gap.
I wanted to hike with him and talk more, but I wasn’t about to fight whatever demons had taken root in his mind. That was how it always seemed to be with him. He always cared about the “what-ifs,” and I was willing to take any risk imaginable, if it meant being close to him. In a way, I was tired of the bullshit excuses, the fears, and the never-ending retreat to stay far, far away from me. If that was how he wanted it to be, then fine. I wouldn’t push him anymore.
The trail began to widen and diverge into multiple directions, so I made sure to follow Ridge’s lead. A large body of water started to come into view, and while I’d heard of the place and seen photos online, nothing could compare to seeing it in person. My heart began to beat fast as I looked out at the turquoise water that sat nestled in the glacial basin, glittering beneath the sun.
I stopped walking, wanting to take in the entire view, which was currently unoccupied with campers and hikers. Ridge stood off to my side, taking in the same exact view. He must have hiked that trail dozens of times, but nothing in his expression told me that he was any less amazed than his first time.
Emotion caught in my throat, and I didn’t know why. I’d climbed mountains, biked down steep hills, and thrown caution to the wind more times than I could count, but being here felt different somehow. I felt liberated and like anything I ever wanted to do beyond today was within reach. All I had to do was climb the damn mountain.
“Holy shit.” Trip stepped past me and jogged toward the water. Raven followed, then came the rest of the group, and one by one, they entered our campsite for the night.
“Get a load of this,” Josie said as she took up a spot beside me. “We’re skinny dipping in that.”
She said it with so much confidence that I had to laugh. “Are we, now? We might freeze to death, but sure.”
Josie threw me a wink. “Actually, I was talking to Ryker on the hike. He says he knows where there’s a hot spring near one of the upper lakes.”
“A real hot spring?”
I’d swum in hot springs before but never one that I’d found in nature. The ones I’d been to had pool walls around them and a cost of admission.
“Yup.” She grinned and twisted her shoulders a little.
I narrowed my eyes at her then followed her gaze to Ryker before letting out a laugh. “So, you’re really into Ryker now, huh? You just broke up with Emilio.”
She made a face. “That was months ago. Besides, Emilio refused to go past second base. Totally over him.”
My jaw dropped at her confession. “Josie Parker.”
She blushed. Josie had always been boy crazy, hopping from one boyfriend to the next without a break in between until she and Emilio became a thing. But Josie was the type of girl who knew what she wanted. If she said she was over her ex-boyfriend, then I believed her.
“What? It’s not like Emilio and I were going to get married or anything. We dated for over a year, and I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.”
I laughed. “But you told me Emilio was the most handsome boy you’d ever seen.” I fluttered my lashes to mock her.
She whacked my chest with the back of her hand. “He’s cute,” she said defensively before sighing like someone in la-la land. “But Ryker is cuter and funny and strong and smart…”
I had to stop listening to her. My best friend was moving on. Noted. As beautiful as she was, with her strawberry-blond hair, electric-blue eyes, and outgoing nature, when she set her sights on a guy, it was a done deal. Josie didn’t have to play games or be played. She let a guy know when she liked him, and it was up to them to return the sentiment or not. By the way Ryker continued to sneak glances back at Josie, it seemed he was playing right into her hands.
“C’mon, let’s check out this lake,” she said. She grabbed my arm and carted me forward with a jump in her step, down the hill to where the blue water sat calmly, teasing us to jump in.
We took selfies and group pics to celebrate our first leg of our journey until we eventually went off in our own directions to set up tents and to scour our surroundings.
Josie picked our tent spot, which was conveniently placed near Ryker’s. After shoveling all my gear into the small space, I walked back out to the water to take it all in. Never had I seen water so blue or felt that kind of peace among nature. It was the best natural high I would ever experience, and it didn’t cost a penny.
“In all my time hiking around these parts, I don’t think any view has come close to the ones this lake brings.”
I hadn’t even heard Ridge approach. “Well,” I said, trying to find my voice. “You were always looking for your purpose. I guess you found it here.”
When I turned to look at him, his expression didn’t give me much. His eyes were set forward and his features were still hard all over, like nothing would break him. I’d always found Ridge something of a mystery, but I’d enjoyed unlocking layers of him as time went on. I fooled myself into thinking that he’d opened up to me and we’d become friends, and maybe we could one day be more. When he’d left, the reality of our time together hit hard, because I knew so much of what I felt came from fantasies of an alternate reality.
I paused, holding an internal debate on whether or not I should ask my real question. Then it just slipped out. “You could have gone anywhere. Why here? Why Ouray?”
I didn’t know what to expect in his response. Ridge was the master of speaking through his silence, so I almost imagined that would be his approach. I didn’t expect total and complete honesty.
“People don’t question who I am or why I’m here.”
His words struck a chord. Back in Telluride, all anyone had done when he first arrived was question his very existence. He was hated without being known, ignored while still being seen, and seen but not understood. No one even tried.
“Here, I’m not the farmer’s son or the Ute boy. My skin color isn’t questioned, and my history isn’t examined with a fine-tooth comb. I’m just me. And I get to live here. Blanketed by all this.” He waved his hand, gesturing to the sky.
I nodded, hating that it was so hard to hate him. He was too good, too pure, and too innocent. And the life he’d left behind hadn’t been fair to him. Still, I had bitterness in my heart at the fact that he’d left me behind.
“I’m happy here.”
His voice still managed to hit me like the softest breeze, enveloping me in its power and sinking deep into my pores to where I knew it would never leave me, even after it had faded away.
“Good.” Staring forward again, I nodded as I ran the bottom of my shoe along the pebbles. “Then I’m happy for you.” I hated how my heart cried out with my words. My chest felt heavy in a loss that felt as close to death as I’d ever felt. Why? Why has Ridge always had the power to hurt me in the deepest of ways without ever trying at all?
Maybe that week signified the end of all that and I could move on. I made a silent vow that I would do just that—move on and truly be happy for Ridge and for whatever the future held for him. I twisted my nose at a familiar scent wafting over from the campground. One glance behind me told me exactly where it was coming from. Four of the campers were passing a joint around a rock pit, with a fire growing between them.
“I thought we weren’t allowed to build fires out here.”
Ridge blew out a breath and shook his head. “We aren’t. Doesn’t mean everyone follows the rules.” He stretched his neck to get a better view of the boys. “Guess that’s my cue to do my job and be the bad guy.”
I laughed as he walked away. “You could never be the bad guy, Ridge. Not even if you tried.”
I’d thought I’d spoken quietly enough that he was already out of earshot, but when his body tensed for a millisecond too long, I knew he’d heard me. Then he kept walking.
The rest of the afternoon passed by slowly. Josie had dipped one toe into the lake and decided against her threat to sk
inny dip. Instead, we warmed ourselves by our propane stove, heated some quesadillas, and killed time asking Trip all about college, like what it was like to live in New York, how he liked his classes at Columbia, and whether he missed high school. His responses, though predictable, only made me ache for my own after-high-school adventure.
“What are you planning to do after graduation, Camila?”
I was so deep into dreaming about my future that I almost missed Trip’s question. When I looked up to answer, I noticed that we weren’t alone. Raven and Ridge were sharing a log not too far away, and Ridge was looking at me, waiting, like he cared to know about my future.
“I’m moving to California.” I shrugged and leaned back, propping my body up with my palms. “My getting a degree is important to Papa. My getting out of Telluride to do it is important to my mama. They’ve drilled it into me since I was little, and it just kind of stuck. But I’m excited to get out of town for a bit, scope out the Napa vineyards, and learn more about the business end of things.”
Raven narrowed her eyes at me. “Really? I would think all the schooling you need is right there in your backyard. Why leave?”
I took her question as a challenge, but I didn’t know why. Perhaps it was because her shoulder was brushing against Ridge’s. Or maybe it was because her father had always felt somewhat like a threat to my future at the farm. I didn’t want to tell her that while Thomas Bradshaw was a huge advocate of me going off to school, he was also one of my biggest motivations to get out of Telluride. Because I truly believed there was more to the life we’d all been living for so long.
My papa was old-fashioned, stuck in his ways, and stubborn as all hell, which worked for him, for his way of life, and for how he wanted to run things. But the fact that he wasn’t the face of his own business had always been troublesome to me. And he wouldn’t last long putting in all that labor.
