by Leah Holt
He could start over someplace else; a new man with a new name and a new life.
I mean, what man would want to go through this much trouble for one woman?
Could I really be worth it?
As he approached the door, I couldn't stay facing away. I had to see him, see his face, his eyes, and try to read what he was thinking.
Dante wasn't an easy person to crack, he didn't share emotions or feelings. Not many guys do, I get that. But I needed him to let me in, let me read it for myself.
Words weren't always necessary if you opened your heart.
He didn't have to speak, he didn't have to utter a fucking sentence; but he had to let me see him.
Rolling over, I stared at the entrance. Dante's large frame filled the entryway, his shoulders practically brushing each wood beam. His lips were still, eyes holding on mine. As he stood there static for a moment, his arms hung gently by his waist.
Dante wasn't moving, but each muscle perked, pressing against his shirt with such definition I could count them all. My heart jumped inside my chest, pussy clenching tight.
It was impossible to stop my body from reacting to him. The intensity of his gaze, the fierce cut of his jaw, everything about him made me tremble.
I was trying like hell to not break the silence, I wanted him to say something first, I had already said enough. It was his turn to speak, his opportunity to just tell me what his next step in this whole thing would be.
Does he still want this?
Does he still want us?
Does he still want me?
Walking to the bed, Dante slipped in beside me, wrapping his arm around my neck, and pulling me in. “I'm sorry, Ivy, I—”
“No,” I cut in. I didn't want him to apologize for something I had started. “I'm the one who should be sorry, I shouldn't have thrown it in your face that you were like him. It wasn't right, I don't know what happened between you guys. I'm sure you have your reasons.” Pushing myself up higher into the nook of his arm, I rubbed his chest. “I shouldn't have tried to convince you otherwise.”
“No, you didn't do anything wrong. I just need you to understand that I was brought up on a set of a rules that aren't meant to be broken. He betrayed us, he betrayed his family.” Caressing my shoulder, he snuggled up closer. “That's what hurts the most. Sesto had gotten picked up by the police and instead of doing what we were taught and keeping his mouth shut, he chirped like a fucking canary.”
“I'm trying to understand that, I am. But I can't understand why it would constitute him being killed.”
“Those are the rules, he knew that. But he didn't just talk, Ivy. Sesto gave up information that we had all swore we never would. We had taken an oath, he traded that oath for selfishness. We lost so much because of this. But that's not even the worse part.”
“Then what is it?”
“With him locked up like that, he put all of us in danger of being taken down with him. And he only did it to save himself. He cut a deal, they gave him a year for what he said, and the guys he burned got twenty to life. All the trust was gone after that. The one rule he had to follow was to never talk, it's the worst thing he could do to us. He's blood, blood is supposed to be thicker than water. But he opened the flood gates.”
“Dante, think about what you're saying, think about what you did to save me. You betrayed your father too. Do you think what you did deserves the same punishment you want for Sesto?”
He had to realize that he wasn't exactly walking the line, he had climbed over the fucking fence and jumped in feet first with his brother.
Glancing up to the ceiling, Dante took in slow, short breaths. He looked confused, torn between what's right and what had been burned into his brain since birth.
But he wasn't the guy he thought he was, he didn't have that dark-seeded nature to actually kill his brother. I think he just thought it existed.
Or maybe. . . He just wanted it to be there.
If he did contain that type of blackness, Sesto would be dead already.
Dante had this strained desire to make his father proud and earn his respect. Killing a man did that, it cemented his allegiance to the family.
But none of that mattered anymore. He could let it all go and finally just be the man he wanted to be. I just wish he could see that.
“I know what I did, that's why we ran. I knew what was coming for us the minute I decided you were mine. But I don't know, Ivy, it's hard to forget all the things I've been taught. The rules are there to protect the family.”
“Like I said, sometimes choices are made for you. Maybe he didn't have an option, maybe for him that was life or death.” Spinning my finger into the center of his chest, I looked up into his eyes. “Maybe it's time for you to change the rules.”
Arching a brow, his face twisted in question. “I'm not the one who decides that.”
“If not you, then who? Your father isn't here, his rules don't apply anymore, do they?”
Tilting his head, Dante's lip curved down to one side. “I don't know.” His fingers settled on my ribs, the tips gently stroking long lines, dipping in between each and every contour. “There's a lot I don't know right now.”
Cupping his jaw, I turned his face back to mine. “You'll figure it out, and trust me, I know who you are, you're not one to follow the rules.” My fingers rolled down his rough skin, trailing slowly over the center of his chest and drawing light circles at the base of his pants. “From what I've seen, you know how to make your own.”
A small smirk itched at the edge of his lips, jerking towards his ear. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Is it working?” I asked, dipping my finger under the seam.
His stomach shook, a shiver ran the length of his body, goosebumps hurdling off his skin in rows. Biting his lower lip, Dante's body went stiff, the thick muscle beneath his jeans jumped.
Flicking his eyes to his zipper, he made his cock jerk again. “I might need some more convincing. Maybe go a little lower.”
Running my hand over the growing bulge, I squeezed down hard. “Better?”
Moaning, Dante's tongue dragged over his teeth, his lids lowering to half mast. “That's good.”
Popping his button open, the metal zipper pinged as each tooth broke free. Dante let his head fall back, eyes snapping shut. Pulling his cock free, I wrapped my hand around his thick shaft and stroked him slowly.
He didn't say another word, he just let me run the show. Soft moans hummed from behind his lips, his muscles tensed and rolled as I squeezed and pulled. Scooting down lower, I flicked the tip of my tongue over his crown, lapping up the slick precum resting on the rim.
Dante's hands found their way into my hair, raking my scalp. My body quivered at the gentle pain, the sharp pins heated my skin, making my pussy pulse. I wanted him, I needed him. Nothing was more satisfying then his cock sliding deep into my pussy and turning my veins to fire.
But this was for him. Dante needed this, I was going to put my needs and desires aside to give him what his body was begging me for.
Licking his cock, I swallowed it inch by inch, pushing him so far down my throat, I had to take a breath before the last sliver went in. My cheeks hollowed as I worked his cock, sucking and lapping, stroking and squeezing. His moans made me go faster, his growls made me pump harder.
Pressing his hand down on the back of my head, he guided my speed. Tugging back on my hair he slowed me down, curling his fingers in deeper, he quickened the pace.
Lowering my hand to my pussy, I massaged the swelling button, unable to stop myself.
Dante opened his eyes, watching me play with myself while I sucked his cock. My lips buzzed over his skin, moaning as I pleasured us both.
His hips jerked up, forcing his dick deeper into my mouth. Thrust after thrust, his engorged head filled the back of my throat. His dick was throbbing, the thick veins pulsed in my palm as I pulled his length.
Flicking my clit, the warm juice slid over my fingers, coating my
skin in liquid ecstasy.
“Fuck,” he groaned, slamming his cock in and holding my head in place. His come slid over my tongue, filling my mouth with sweet cream.
Swallowing hard, I rubbed my clit fast with the pads of my fingers as the orgasm surged through my body. I was electric, all my muscles stood still, the hair on my neck standing up. Moaning, I drank his sweet nectar, slurping every last drop.
“Mm.” Licking my fingers, I wiped my mouth and smiled. “There, now we're even.”
“Even?” Chuckling, Dante let his cock slip back into his boxers. “What do you mean even?”
“Last time we were here you gave me something just for me. I just repaid the favor.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Holding up his hand, his smile grew. “If I remember it right, I only helped you, I didn't help myself.”
Laughing loudly, I wagged my finger in his face. “You think I don't know what you did after?” Crawling up his chest, I flicked his nose. “You think I don't know that you shot one off in the bathroom?”
Holding out his arms, Dante's smile gleamed from ear to ear. “I plead the fifth.”
“Oh, you're going to opt out of agreeing with me?”
Grabbing me around my waist, he flipped me over, landing on top of me. “I'm not saying I don't agree, I'm saying it's your word against mine, and I'm choosing not to talk.”
I couldn't stop laughing.
And as we let ourselves relax for the first time in what seemed like forever, a flutter scrambled around my belly. Resting my hand on my stomach, I looked deep into his eyes.
“What?” he asked, his gaze dropping to my belly, then rising back up. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I just love you.” Kissing his lips, I reached under the corner of the mattress and pulled out a small white strip of plastic.
“What's that?”
Holding it up, I ran my hand down his cheek. “I don't know, tell me what you see. One line or two?”
Twelve
Dante
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
My heart had never pumped so hard or so fast in my entire life. I was sweating instantly, my hands were slippery and barely able to stay still. Holding the thin plastic stick, I stared at the small screen. There were two lines. . .
What the hell does two lines mean?
“What am I looking at? What does this mean?”
It wasn't that I really needed her to tell me what I was holding in my hand, but I needed to hear the words out loud. She had to say it, that was the only thing that would make it real to me.
Just seeing the lines did nothing but send my nerves into hyper-drive. My eyes were trying to focus on the screen, the blue lines merging together in one smeared inkblot.
Ask me what I was staring at, and I'd tell you it was a fucking fly that had been struck down and squished against the clear lens. That's what I saw, there wasn't a small spark igniting in my brain that yelled, 'Baby!'
In my hand, all I was holding was a piece of plastic.
Her hands were shaking, the smile on her face intoxicating. “I'm pregnant, Dante.” Ivy's mouth formed each and every syllable like she was afraid I might be hearing a different language.
“You're serious?”
Nodding yes, her teeth clanked together behind her smile, gleaming like the snow on a sunny day.
“And you're sure there's no chance this could be wrong?”
“I took both tests and they both came back positive. I'm also a week late, and honestly, I just haven't felt right lately.” Snagging my hand, she squeezed it hard. “We're having a baby, can you believe this?”
I felt numb. I wasn't sure if the heat rolling over my body was excitement or nerves, if it was fear or horror. I guess I just never expected this.
Having a baby wasn't something I had ever envisioned happening in my life. My future had already been set for me. I was a rule keeper, I was authority, I was everything my dad had already deemed me to be.
But a father. . .
I wasn't meant for this.
Compassion, love, pain for another, all of these feelings were new to me. My mind was trying to understand what to do with all this shit tumbling around inside. I wasn't used to this side yet, I was still trying to figure out how the hell to deal with this new version of myself.
A baby? Could I really have it in me to raise a child?
I could hear my mother inside my head, her voice highlighted in actions and lessons. She would be asking me what I thought was going to happen if I had unprotected sex. She'd curse under her breath, then give me a big hug, reminding me of what my responsibilities would be now.
That's how she worked, she wouldn't shun me for making a bad choice. Not my mother. She expected me to learn from what I did, accept whatever the outcome would be.
There's no walking away. This is your child, this is your responsibility.
Yes, I completely understood that the chance was there. I wasn't obtuse to the fact that fucking a woman repeatedly without protection would eventually lead to knocking her up.
But my mind was constantly floating and I couldn't think straight, all because the woman beside me made my brain go into hibernation.
Ivy had blinded all rational thought.
None of that matters.
“Say something.” Her eyes skidded to a stop, light crinkles formed at the corners of her lips as she frowned with worry. “Say anything, Dante.”
I didn't know what to say. The thought of Ivy carrying my child made everything I was about to do more important. I was her protector, now I had to protect two.
One life had been hard enough to keep above water, but now my body felt charged. Nothing was going to happen to her, I wasn't going to allow it. I would take a million fucking bullets just to keep her alive.
I loved Ivy.
And I didn't even have to question what I felt for that baby growing inside her.
I loved our child too.
Dragging my hand over my head, my fingers skated my cheek, scratching at my chin. “Wow.” I could feel my chest tighten as my lungs began to strain for air. “Wow,” I said again, my mouth a mix of a smile and a frown.
“I can't tell if that's a good sign or a bad one.” Hanging her head, Ivy stared at the empty space between her legs.
I wanted to tell her it was good, that it was fucking incredible. I wanted to grab her and hug her and tell her that this baby would mean the world to me. That I was going to teach our child everything it needed to know and that our future was going to be incredible.
But that would be a lie. I didn't have a fucking clue what was going to happen tomorrow, the next day, next week. I couldn't guarantee her that both of us would be walking away from this unscathed.
I just didn't know. There was no way I could make her empty promises of a long life together, not with what I planned to do.
Shock had stunned my vocal cords, shredding their ability to function. The words couldn't make their way through the jumbled mess of crazy thoughts that were rolling around my brain like a fucking freight train.
The stakes were higher now, the fear of Ivy getting hurt just jumped up one hundred percent. . . This changed everything.
Her life had been stolen, our world was still ruled by the evil man who destroyed her from the inside out. I had come in and whisked her away. I had taken the only thing Remo had even wanted her for; her virginity.
Now she was pregnant. Ivy was carrying my child.
How do you put into words the emotions that strike you after learning something that heavy? I couldn't. She needed me more then ever and I wasn't about to let her down.
I won't let them down.
Two lives depended on me, two lives needed safety, two worlds that deserved the fucking moon. Determination was the only feeling that wrapped around my muscles, my arms thickened, my chest puffed up.
Bittersweet, that's what this was. I had everything I never thought I wanted; a reason to be better, a re
ason to feel, a reason to pull myself out of hell and actually walk this earth like the human I was supposed to be. She had flipped a switch inside my soul, breathing life back into this heartless monster.
Ivy was the beauty, I was the beast.
But she found the good in me, I could never thank her enough for showing me a different way.
Killing had been a way of life for me before, but now it was just a way to keep my family alive.
Because that's what she was; Ivy was family.
This is my family.
“I love you, Ivy, and I'm going to love this baby.” Coiling my fingers into hers, I used my other hand to cup her chin and force her head up. “Look at me,” I said as her eyes stayed static, empty and lost. “But you know what this means now, don't you?”
She had to know what I was getting at. She was pregnant, I didn't want her to help me before, there was no way in hell I'd ever let her help me now. That was my child in there, my flesh and bone. She was carrying my legacy. . .
Our legacy.
I would never let her get close enough to even smell Remo ever again, nevermind run beside me to end his life.
Not one piece of me cared if she disagreed, I didn't give a shit how much she might try and protest my decision. Ivy was staying put.
Her eyes danced between mine, reaching for the answer. “I won't run away from this, Dante. I won't let this baby live in danger, we aren't leaving until it's done.”
“Ivy—”
“No.” The word shot out, her voice stern and concrete. “We're ending this once and for all.” Rubbing her belly, her skin glowed like honey. “I'm not running forever, this baby deserves a life, a good life. We won't be able to give it that if Remo's still breathing, he'll haunt us till we die.”
Fuck.
I loved her determination, her strength and admiration to see this through till the end. She was so strong that I couldn't help but look up to her. While her life had been consumed before her very own eyes, she was still able to find the ability to get up, to move on.
