Love Inspired May 2015 #1

by Brenda Minton

Breezy’s eyes widened. “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t want to give him any more reasons to take care of me. He does like to take over.” Her heart, her life, her peace of mind, those were the things he was taking control of. And it scared her.

  “Why in the world wouldn’t you want Duke to help you?”

  For a minute she observed the twins at play. They were about to pounce on the Border collie, but the dog caught on and moved. The twins gave up and went back to the slide, having a brief fight over who would go first.

  Why wouldn’t she want Duke to help her? She knew the answer to that question. Because she was this close to falling in love with him. Because he was strong and caring, because he made her believe that a man might stay forever.

  When had a man ever stayed in her life? The answer was never.

  Chapter Eleven

  Oregon drove to church on Sunday morning glad that the week was over. Not that it had been a bad week. But she needed Sunday. She needed church, needed a moment to slow down and sit in God’s presence. In the seat next to her, Lilly was talking about her horse and going over her “things to do when the cast is off” list. Normal. Oregon felt the tension of the week draining away.

  “Mom, do you think you and Duke will get married?”

  Oregon nearly slammed on the brakes. Somehow she kept a steady foot on the gas. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You heard me. Don’t act like you didn’t.”

  A phrase Oregon had used more than once on her daughter was suddenly being used on her. “All right, I did hear you, but I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”

  “I don’t think it’s such a crazy idea,” Lilly said, as if it made more sense than chocolate on a bad day. And Oregon could have really used some chocolate right about then.

  “You think not?”

  “Well, the two of you have a daughter. In case you missed it, that would be me.”

  Oregon laughed. “No, I haven’t missed that part of the equation. But you have to understand that Duke and I aren’t... We weren’t...” She sighed. “Duke and I were never a couple. It was...”

  There was no explanation that made sense. She glanced at Lilly to check her reaction. Lilly continued to stare her down. Oregon drove into the church parking lot, thankful she had a reprieve. Even if it didn’t last long.

  “Mom, I get it. I’m not a kid.”

  Oregon arched a brow at that but didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. Lilly wrinkled her nose.

  “Okay, sure, I’m a kid. But I know what happened. I’m just saying that now...well, the two of you seem to like each other. Or at least you like to kiss.”

  “You are a kid. And no, we don’t.” She bit her bottom lip and peeked at her daughter, because the last statement wasn’t necessarily true. Being kissed by Duke Martin might just be at the top of her “best things ever” list.

  “Yeah, you do,” Lilly said with firm conviction. “I’ve seen you. It’s kind of gross, but I’m okay with you liking each other.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  Lilly smirked. “It will help when you get married.”

  Oregon groaned as she pulled into a parking space. “We’re not getting married. That isn’t why we’re here, Lilly. I brought you here because I wanted you to have a dad.”

  “Yeah, I know. And Mom, I’m sorry that you don’t know your dad. I wish you did. And I hope if he’s out there somewhere, he’s as great as mine.”

  “Thank you, honey. But I think I’m long past wishing for my father. I have you, and that’s the best thing ever.”

  Lilly opened the car door. “Yeah, I am great. I’m just saying, if you and Duke decide to get married, I’m okay with that.”

  “We’re not getting married,” she called out as Lilly hurried away on her crutches. “And slow down, you’ll break your other leg.”

  “Who are you not marrying?”

  At the deep voice, she froze. Slowly she turned to face Duke. She felt heat settle in her cheeks as she looked at him. Her gaze lingered because today, in dark jeans, cowboy boots and a dark gray button-down shirt, he looked maddeningly good. He acted as if he knew her thoughts, and something inside her eased. She hadn’t seen him for a couple of days, and she’d missed him.

  If she had to be honest, she liked more than his kisses. She liked Duke. She liked the way he made her smile when she didn’t want to. And how he made her feel like trusting someone wouldn’t be so awful.

  “No one,” she whispered, grimacing as she said it, because they both knew it wasn’t the truth.

  “I see. You’re marrying no one. But our daughter would like for you to marry someone.”

  “She’s twelve, Duke. She has ideas about family, about you and me.”

  “You don’t have to explain. I have ideas about family and you and me, too.”

  Oh, her heart wanted to believe that. She wanted to believe in marriage that lasted, with someone who didn’t walk out.

  “We should go inside now.” She was feeling cowardly and didn’t want to put everything on the line. All of her baggage, the cancer, the hysterectomy. It was a lot of baggage.

  “Right, the bell is ringing.” He took her hand, and together they walked up the steps.

  Inside the church they found Lilly in a pew midway down, seated next to Brody. Lilly laughed at something he said.

  “I don’t trust those two,” Duke said, mirroring the words she’d been thinking.

  “Neither do I.”

  They took a seat in the pew behind them. Oregon leaned forward to tell her daughter to hush. Then the service started. The music brought her the peace she’d been looking for. The words of the hymns even spoke of that peace. She closed her eyes and let go of the fear, the doubt.

  God hadn’t brought her this far to forget her. She knew that.

  After the service was over, people in the sanctuary gathered in small groups, talking, making lunch plans. Oregon spotted Nedine threading her way through the crowd. The woman was dressed in a colorful caftan and bright red cowboy boots. She’d tied her long hair back with a scarf.

  “Just the person I’ve been wanting to talk to,” Nedine said when she got to Oregon.

  “Oh, okay.”

  Ned hugged her. “Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to ask for too much.”

  “I’m not afraid. Much.”

  Ned laughed. “It’s just that I have these kittens.”

  “No!”

  “Now, now, hear me out. I won’t ask you to take them all. But I have two of the cutest little males in the world. They’re out of my Manx momma cat and who knows what tomcat. But they have bobbed tails. One is orange, and the other is a tabby. They won’t mind being outside since you have that nice barn back behind your place.”

  “Did Lilly put you up to this? She just got some crazy big bird that yells things like ‘Fire’ in the middle of the night.”

  Ned hooted at that. “Oh, that’s perfect. And I’m just teasing, I don’t have any cats. I’m allergic. I heard about the bird, and Lilly and I thought it might be fun to ask you about kittens. She said you really don’t like cats.”

  “I don’t mind them. As long as they belong to someone else.” Oregon laughed. “You really had me going.”

  “Oh, if you could have seen the look on your face. But I tell you what, I’d love to take Lilly home with me for the day. My niece, Julia, is here visiting for a few days, and I thought the girls might like to go fishing.”

  Lilly approached them, a girl with light brown hair and big dimples at her side. “Can I go, Mom?”

  Oregon nodded. “You can go. I’ll pick you up this afternoon.”

  “Could she spend the night?” Julia asked, looking from Ned to Oregon.

  Ned shrugged. “I really don’t mind. I’ve go
t the day off tomorrow. We might build a fire in the fire pit and roast marshmallows.”

  “I think that would be fine.” Lilly gave her a hug that nearly knocked her off her feet. “But you’ll need clothes.”

  “I’ll swing past your place on my way home,” Ned offered. “And tomorrow after they wake up, I’ll drive her home.”

  With all of the details taken care of, Oregon gathered up her things. When she straightened, Joe appeared at her side, a little wan and not his normal jovial self. “Joe, I haven’t seen you in days.”

  He kept his hat in his hands and studied her. She thought he looked sad. Regretful. It was an odd mix of emotions to see on his normally smiling face.

  “It has been a few days. I wanted to check on Lilly. I can see she’s doing well. And how are you holding up?”

  “I’m good, Joe. Thank you.” She rested a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

  “Of course I am. I’ve been a little under the weather, but nothing serious. How is Lilly doing? Is she adjusting?”

  She didn’t know what to say. She knew he had to mean about Duke being Lilly’s father.

  Joe cleared his throat. “He’s a good man, and I imagine he’ll be a good dad to her. Some men are just natural-born fathers.”

  “Yes, I guess some are.” She didn’t understand the direction of this conversation.

  At the front of the church she saw Duke talking to Boone Wilder. The younger man was showing him a folder. Duke nodded and glanced their way. Her heart gave a heavy thud because the look on his face couldn’t be called gentle at that moment.

  Joe saw it, too. “It seems as if he’s gotten some bad news.”

  “Yes, it appears that way.” She clutched her purse and her bible. “Joe, if you need anything at all, please call me.”

  “I will. And thank you, Oregon.” He walked away, shuffling his feet a bit. She had never seen Joe shuffle. He seemed to have aged ten years in the past week.

  Oregon headed for the front door, thinking she would bypass Duke and more difficult conversations. Of course he followed her out the door, catching up with her on the sidewalk.

  “Where’s Lilly?” he asked as he strode next to her.

  “Going home with Ned for the night. Lilly is going to spend time with her niece, Julia.”

  “Then maybe we could spend some time together.”

  Oregon stopped at her car. “What were you and Boone discussing?”

  “Business.” He smiled as he said it. “We could roast hot dogs on a fire and maybe watch the moon come up together.”

  “You and Boone?”

  “Yes, because I love moonlit walks with Boone Wilder.” He gave an exaggerated shudder. “Oregon, you know we need to talk.”

  “Why do we need to talk?”

  “You’ve hardly said a word to me all week. You’ve been quiet and pale, and I’m worried.” He reached for her hand, but his fingers just grazed hers before moving away. “More than anything, I’d really like to spend some time with you. Alone.”

  She arched a brow at him, and he laughed.

  “Too much?” he asked.

  “A little over the top. Okay, we can talk. I’m going to go home and get a few things done. Maybe five o’clock.”

  “Five o’clock is good. Jake asked me to help him doctor some sick calves.”

  She nodded and reached for her car door. Duke got there first. He opened the door and waited as she slid behind the wheel. When she looked up, he had a strange expression on his face, as if he was inspecting her. She told herself that Breezy hadn’t told him.

  Of course Breezy wouldn’t tell.

  * * *

  Duke rode his ATV down to Oregon’s at five that afternoon. It was hot, and the breeze from the open vehicle felt pretty good. He parked the four-wheeler next to her car and climbed off, smoothing down his still-damp hair. As he walked around to the back of the house, Oregon stepped out the back door, baking sheet in her hands as she headed for the grill. He met her and lifted the lid.

  “We were just going to grill hot dogs on a bonfire,” he said.

  “I thought vegetables would help me feel like I was eating something with more nutritional value so I made kebabs.” She looked up at him. “Sometimes I am my mother’s daughter.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with eating vegetables.” He took the pack off his back. “I have everything in here. Including the slightly squished buns.”

  She took the backpack and led him inside where she had already made tea. It was sitting on the counter, the glass pitcher damp from condensation. “It’s really too warm to start a fire.”

  “I know.” He stood there in the familiar kitchen and studied the face of a woman he had known for a little over a year. In the past couple of weeks she’d gone from the woman he rarely spoke to, to the woman he shared a child with.

  It changed things inside him. It made him look at her from a different perspective. She’d given him a child. Man, that was huge.

  Especially when, not even a month ago, he hadn’t wanted kids of his own. He hadn’t thought about settling down or having a family. No, he’d wanted to avoid those two things at all costs.

  But here he was, and here she was. As much as he hadn’t wanted to be this involved in someone else’s life, he was. They were connected by a horse-crazy girl and a ton of emotions. He watched her, noticing shadows in her eyes and worry she couldn’t hide.

  “Tell me what’s going on,” he said, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her close.

  “Nothing is going on.” She reached for the tea. “If you get ice I’ll pour us a glass.”

  “All right. On one condition. We have our tea, and you tell me why you have dark circles under your eyes. And don’t tell me it isn’t any of my business. You’re the mother of my daughter. You are my business.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes narrowing. “Really? You’re in charge of me now?”

  “No, but I care.”

  She let out a breath, and her gaze dropped to the floor. “Duke, let’s not go there.”

  “I’m not sure where we’re going, Oregon. But I do know that you need to talk to me. I’m not crazy about surprises.”

  For a minute she studied the view out the window, then nodded. “Okay.”

  It didn’t feel like he’d won any sort of victory. He got the ice, and she poured tea. It was hot outside so they sat at the kitchen table. He took the chair across the table from her. The table was small; their feet touched underneath. She kept her eyes on the glass she held between her hands.

  “This isn’t a quick story.”

  He nodded once. “I didn’t think it would be. But I have a feeling I’m about to find out why you came to Martin’s Crossing.”

  “You are.” She took a drink of tea, a long, slow sip. He watched her throat move as she swallowed. Her eyes closed briefly, and her dark lashes brushed pale skin. When she looked back at him, he almost lost it. He wanted to pull her close and tell her he’d fix everything.

  He’d never wanted this, a woman to be responsible for, to make sure she had everything she needed. But here he was, and there she was. And he knew he’d walk on hot coals for her or for Lilly.

  “About eighteen months ago, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. They caught it early, and they did a hysterectomy.” She blinked a few times. “They contained the cancer, and I’ve been cancer-free ever since. But it made me think about mortality, and it also made me realize that Lilly needs someone else. In case...”

  In case anything should happen to her.

  He wanted to tell her nothing would. He wanted to promise her that he’d protect her. He’d keep her healthy. But he knew that no one could make those promises.

  He’d made promises like that too many times in the field. He’d promised m
en that they’d be okay. That they would go home to their families. All of those empty promises rushed back to him now, taunting him.

  Her hands covered his. “Duke, don’t. I’m not asking you to make me promises. I trust God. I’m not going to stop trusting.”

  What did he say to that? Because he hadn’t ever been the guy with faith overflowing. He’d been the guy who went to church when Jake dragged him. He’d said some prayers for men, begging God to keep them alive. And now, in just the past few weeks, he’d started to find a faith that felt a little different, a little more real.

  What he didn’t want was for this woman to be in his life only temporarily. As he sat there looking at her, head bent, hands still clasped over his, he got the feeling that God was telling him to trust. No matter what the outcome. Even if things didn’t turn out the way he wanted. He had to trust.

  In Afghanistan he’d made promises he’d had no right making. He’d wanted to make those men feel safe and give them hope. All too often he’d known they didn’t believe his promises. But he had believed. And then he’d lost faith.

  He took a deep breath, and it shuddered in his chest. “What’s changed, Oregon? You said they got it all, but you came here because it made you aware that something could happen. That doesn’t explain what is happening now.”

  “I went to the doctor last week. They want to run some tests. I’ve scheduled the appointment for Wednesday when I go to Austin for Lilly’s appointment.”

  “And you were going to, what? Go through this alone?”

  “I went through it alone the last time.”

  “That wasn’t on my watch.”

  A slow flicker of a smile touched her lips. “You tend to take over.”

  “Yeah, it’s a habit.”

  “I’m used to taking care of myself.”

  “That’s a bad habit, too,” he chided.

  He had a feeling it was more that she didn’t trust anyone else to take care of her. He got that. But he wasn’t going to argue with her. He wouldn’t be that person in her life. He’d never let her down or walk away. But words weren’t going to prove anything to Oregon Jeffries.

  Because he’d spent a lifetime listening to broken promises, he got that. He’d had a father that wouldn’t stop drinking. He’d been told that his mother would come back. He knew that words were just words.