“When would you like to begin work, Miss Hammond?”
“Oh, tomorrow—”
“Is too soon,” Colter finished. “She’ll need to make arrangements for transportation, Christopher.”
“Nonsense. She can room at the Ballard House. Many of the young ladies reside there. We provide them with an escort to and from work.”
“Elizabeth’s aunt is elderly and wishes her to remain at home outside the city limit. I’m sure it won’t present any problem.”
Elizabeth, fuming at his side, was about to stop Colter when the warning look he shot her made her reconsider. As he took their leave, she could barely wait until they were outside.
“Why? Tell me why you had to pretend I wasn’t there. I am capable of speaking for myself.”
“How well I am coming to know that,” he remarked, taking her arm and leading her to the wagon. “Up you go. I still have a few matters to see to. And I spoke for you,” he continued, rounding the wagon and climbing up, “simply to avoid having Memminger believe that you had no protector.”
“And tossing around those names! I know Letcher is our governor, but the others…and telling him Mrs. Davis would personally endorse me! A fraud, that’s what you’ve made me party to.”
“Are you finished? Seddon and Randolph are secretaries of war that I count as friends. If it were necessary to obtain the first lady’s endorsement, I would have done so. It seems that no matter how I try to please you, you take an opposite stand.”
“Colter, I don’t mean to appear ungrateful. The truth is that I was frightened he wouldn’t give me the job. Obviously, the rumors that political connections help are true. I will simply prove to Mr. Memminger that he has not made a mistake in hiring me.”
“Very admirable sentiments, Miss Hammond.”
His serious tone was undone by his grin, which widened as Elizabeth tried and failed to look severe. She shared her merry laughter with him, sobering minutes later upon remembering her intent. “Colter, how did you know I mentioned I was from King George County in my letters?”
Busy urging the mules into the flow of traffic on the street, Colter didn’t immediately answer. And when he did, he refused to look at her. “Would you believe that I couldn’t sleep last night and rode into the city to break into Memminger’s office and find your letters?”
“My Lord! Tell me that you didn’t?” When her question went unanswered, Elizabeth seriously considered his war activities for the first time. “Is that what you do, Colter? Steal secrets across the Yankee lines?”
“Would that worry you?”
“Yes.”
Colter relaxed his grip on the reins. He had feared she wouldn’t answer, or if she did, it would not have been the response he was looking for.
“You won’t admit it, will you?”
“I can’t. But I assure you that I didn’t break into Memminger’s office. You were born in King George County and moved before your first year.”
“You remembered that?”
“I remember everything about you, Elizabeth. Everything. But to continue, since you haven’t a facility for lying, it was a simple deduction on my part that you would stretch the truth as best you could.”
“I see.” Hesitantly Elizabeth glanced at his strong profile. She was both warmed and chilled by his remembering so small a detail. “Are you very good at what you do?”
He thought about a few narrow escapes he had had, his eyes darkening at the memories. But now was not the time to share such things with her, if he ever would. She had her own demons to haunt her nights. He would not add his own to them.
Elizabeth endured the silence, busy with her thoughts. Colter lived with danger, any soldier in the war did, but the time he had been granted before returning to the war was suddenly precious. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems—not that she could cast them aside easily—that she had given little thought to the risk Colter would be facing again in just two days’ time. Within reason, without compromising her daughter’s safety, Elizabeth vowed to try to give him pleasant memories of their brief time with each other.
A similar vow formed in Colter’s mind. Last night, his encounter with Elizabeth had left him with a raw despair, but this morning, new hope was spreading its healing balm. If the Lord, General Lee, the Yankees and his own skills saw fit to grant him life, he would always look back on their time together as a precious gift. And somehow he would find a way to set her demons to rest.
Lost in their own thoughts, neither saw the man who watched them.
Chapter Eight
Later that same afternoon, Elizabeth gathered up fallen hickory nuts in a copse of trees behind the house. From the open kitchen door she heard another burst of shrieks from Nicole, broken by Colter’s laugh and Rutha’s admonishments.
The awareness that time was both enemy and friend had crumbled her resistance to Colter’s presence in their lives. Her decision to trust him with Rutha’s and Mister Josh’s secret had marked another turning point. It was a test of her own for her to walk away, allowing him the chance to be with their child. Their child? The thought made her pause, and she examined her acceptance of calling Nicole theirs. Another squeal of pretend fright came from Nicole, and Elizabeth nodded as she continued her labors. She was theirs.
“Mama! Oh, Mama, come play!”
Elizabeth glanced up to see Nicole dart out of the door. Colter appeared behind her and the girl ran back inside. He waved to her, looking the worse for wear from the mock battle they were having. His hair was mussed, and his shirt and breeches dampened with water.
“Come join us,” he called. He gave a start, growled loudly and then he too disappeared.
With a rueful smile Elizabeth glanced down at her half-filled basket and abandoned her chore. At a run she crossed the clearing but stopped just inside the door.
The kitchen was steamy, the air redolent with the spices boiling in a large kettle of water hung from a crane over the fire. As she watched, Rutha warned Nicole to keep away while she stirred the contents of the pot. Water lapped over the kettle’s edge, hissing as it hit the glowing coals below, raising another cloud of steam. Sweat sheened Rutha’s face, and she wiped it before adding a few pinches of salt.
“Got you!”
Elizabeth didn’t know whether to laugh or shout a warning to Colter. Clutched in Nicole’s small hand was the largest crab Elizabeth had ever seen, and she was amazed at how skillfully Nicole threatened Colter with its flailing claws.
From Colter’s lofty height, not one but two impressively sized crabs held in each of his hands took up her challenge.
“Lordy, Colonel, iffen you don’t stop playin’ with that chil’ we won’t ever git supper,” Rutha warned with a wink.
Bringing his heels together with a resounding click, arms extended so that the lethal claws offered no danger to Nicole, Colter bowed to her. “You have heard my orders. I must concede the battle to you, my dear, for it is now time.” Whistling, Colter assumed a military posture, and Nicole followed suit. They began their march around the trestle table, and then with a shout, both rushed toward Elizabeth.
She grabbed her skirts and ran, falling into their play with screams of terror as they chased her around and around the clearing. Nicole’s chubby little legs could not keep up and Elizabeth slowed her pace, but it was Colter, not her daughter, who caught her.
“We have you,” he growled with mock ferocity. “Now, my lovely, pay us a forfeit.” Her face tilted up towards his and Colter took swift advantage to capture her lush mouth with his own. The touch of her lips was like a match to kindling. The swift rise of passion turned a teasing kiss into savage need.
A heated longing rippled through her. Their tongues touched to ignite a powder keg of new sensations. She sank her teeth into his lower lip, soothing its sting with her tongue.
“Mama, I want one, too.”
Elizabeth jerked her head back. Nicole stood beside them, one hand tugging at her skirt, the other still ho
lding the crab.
Colter recovered before she could. “And you shall have whatever you want.” Leaning down, he placed gentle kisses on each of his daughter’s flushed cheeks, his breathing labored, his gut churning with desire. But there was a sweet peace to be had in gazing at his child that soothed the sharper edges of need.
“Them that helps gits an’ them that don’t, don’t eat,” Rutha shouted from the kitchen.
Elizabeth scooped up Nicole and raced Colter back to the kitchen. They arrived laughing and breathless, just as Rutha pulled the burlap sack off a bushel of crabs. Colter rushed to help her by lifting the bushel, and, with Rutha’s guidance, the crabs met their demise. Nicole warned him of the two that clung together over the edge, ready to make their escape. Her bright eyes and giggles gave lie to her wail of terror when Colter deftly captured them and added them to the supper pot.
The air held a sharp bite and the clear night sky allowed the brilliancy of the stars to appear like scattered gems across velvet, with wisps of lace to tease and tantalize the eye. Elizabeth gazed back toward the house, reassured by the soft glow of lamps in the upstairs window and back parlor that all within its walls were asleep. Pulling Emily’s borrowed wool cape close around her, she walked at Colter’s side, sharing with him a quiet contentment so strong, she didn’t believe its barrier could be pierced.
“Are you cold?” he asked, placing his hand at the small of her back to guide her along the lane. A quick shake of her head made him doubt she spoke true, but he let the matter pass. “I want to thank you,” he said softly, as if he were reluctant to disturb the waiting hush of the night that enfolded them, “for giving me time alone with Nicole today.”
“She was as she should be, a little girl, filled with laughter. If anyone should be thanked, it’s you, Colter.”
Drawing her close to him, his arm around her shoulders, Colter shortened his stride to keep step with her. “I know she is mine, but even if she weren’t, I think I would love her. When I leave, I’ll take the memory of this time as a treasured gift. I want to believe that the Lord looks down and is pleased to see the lights of a home, lights that serve as a beacon for our love, with our daughter at its heart. And I pray that He protects it.”
Elizabeth’s step faltered. Loneliness. His somber reflection was filled with loneliness that reminded her the war was waiting to take him away. She wished for more light to see him by than the waning moon could provide.
“When must you leave?” She could ask no more, for his simple words had touched her heart with a rawness she was afraid to confront.
“Tomorrow afternoon.” His hand slid from her shoulder, and he continued to walk ahead a bit before stopping near a barrel-trunked oak. Colter leaned back against the tree, his head angled up, aware that she had stopped and stood watching him. How many lonely nights had he stared at the sky and wondered if he would see the morning light? He had never thought to count them. Life was far more precious now. Bringing his gaze back to Elizabeth, he held out his hand.
“Come to me.”
The words were similar to those he had uttered with soft menace the night before, yet it wasn’t only the absence of threat in his voice that made her go to him, it was her own need she was urged to satisfy.
“I should take you back inside where it’s warm,” he offered, blowing gently on his fingertips to warm them before he shaped her cheeks and lifted her face upward.
“I can be warm right here.” She opened his long, voluminous Garrick coat with its tiered shoulder capes and nestled herself against him. She couldn’t tell him there was a deep chill within her that no body warmth could hope to dispel, for it was a dark coldness that shadowed her soul with fear. She pressed her cheek against his heart, drinking in his scent as she rubbed her nose against his shirt. Strength and power. Last night she had told him she envied him for these traits. Now she was becoming aware that she possessed their feminine counterparts that might someday be equal to his.
“There’s a danger in this,” he warned. The press of her body brought his every nerve ending alive, but he was still able to listen to the prompting of his conscience.
She nodded, unwilling to voice her knowledge of just how dangerous it was. The desire sparked by the kiss they shared this afternoon still simmered inside her, and the hardening tension of Colter’s body suggested that his thoughts had taken the same course. She was tired of having to weigh risks, tired of being cautious, tired of being alone. Seeing Colter with Nicole, sharing with them a time of carefree joy, had awakened her to what she could have if she would cease cowering and reach for it. Emily had loved her father without conditions, and mourned his loss as only a woman who had been totally loved in return could. Once she had believed that Colter loved her the same way. Was that belief shattered beyond repair? Elizabeth didn’t know. Colter reminded her that life was uncertain. How could she demand promises of tomorrows when she could give none of her own in return?
Tracing the sensuous line of his lips, she felt their shape change as he smiled. Madness. It was a form of madness to encourage the passion between them. She was both afraid and delighted to know her slight touch caused his sharp intake of breath, the quickening beat of his heart.
“Have a care, little fox,” he warned with mockery aimed at himself, “teasing games have lost their appeal for me.” Yet his actions only encouraged her games, for while he warned her, he had angled his head down to keep her fingertips on his lips.
“To tease you, I would tease myself,” she whispered.
“The second time I held you in my arms,” Colter murmured, softly again, so as not to break the delicate web being spun, “you touched my mouth like this and wondered aloud why my kisses gave you more pleasure than another’s. You beguiled me with your seductive innocence and made me angry as well. It was spring and we stood beneath the dogwood tree. Your gown had the feel of satin, your shawl was a flimsy lace and your skin, love, was as smooth and hot to my lips as the brandy I imbibed far too freely that night.”
“You were jealous, Colter. You said it was because I had not saved a waltz for you. And,” she primly reminded him, “you had no right to think I would.”
“True. But I was jealous of any man that danced with you. I wanted to claim you as mine. It’s no longer spring, but I still want to make that claim.” He released her and, with a smooth move, slid his hands beneath her cape. She tensed and Colter quickly sought to bring ease. “Blame my greater age for the chill of my hands and let me warm them. My blood doesn’t run as hot as yours.”
“Colter! You—”
“Spoke a falsehood.”
Elizabeth had been lulled by their shared memory. His touch on her back was light, but her body reacted quickly, feeling somewhat heavier, fuller and, of its own volition, rested its weight against him.
Colter smiled, nestling his chin against the top of her head. “Let me see, where was I? The garden…I believe there was an intoxicating scent of roses and the moon rode high. You were quite indignant at first that I lured you outside and—”
“You laughed, captured me in your arms—”
“Just so,” he finished, hugging her tight and feeling his breath catch and hold before he released it. “Just so,” he repeated, his voice husky and dark with emotion. “Yes, love. Lord, yes.”
His tone held hunger and desperation. She lifted her head, searching in vain to see the expression in his eyes, finding only shadows. Her mouth was already softening, awaiting his lips with fevered anticipation. So wrong, a voice nagged her. I know. But I’ve become a thief willing to steal what I can.
Their mouths fused. The danger came again. But she knew there would always be danger when Colter touched her, kissed her like this, savoring her so thoroughly that he left no doubt of his intense desire.
His tongue anointed the corners of her mouth, and she parted her lips to make him welcome into her moist heat. With his hands splayed wide across her back, he urged her tight to his body, so close that she couldn’t tell w
hich one of them tremored. A plea, almost a whimper, escaped her, and she accepted his return invitation to explore the carnal delights his mouth offered, feeling the muscles of his chest bunching beneath her hands. The chill of the night should have cooled their fevered bodies. It was a fleeting thought, for a hot coiling tension had begun to unfurl inside her, and the thrust of Colter’s thigh between her own gave a brief surcease.
The world and time faded before the storm of their unleashed passion. She could feel the swell and ache of her breasts, unconsciously twisting her body against his for ease.
“Tell me, love,” he whispered, trailing kisses down her neck. “Tell me where you hurt and I’ll make it all better.”
“You know. You always know.”
Colter half turned, taking her weight on one arm, freeing his hand to graze the undercurve of her breast. He could feel her trembling, her legs squeezing his thigh until he groaned with need. Cupping the fullness of one breast, his thumb unerringly found its pebbled tip, and he abraded the cloth across this most sensitive flesh. There was both surrender and enticement to her moan when she moved to cover his hand with her own.
The yielding of her mouth spun another web that pulled him deeper with a lightning savageness that stunned him. He wanted her now. He needed to sheath himself within the silken folds of her body, for making love to Elizabeth had been a renewal of his own life force.
He wanted to claim and repossess what was his by right. And in his soul he had always known that she in turn claimed and possessed him.
She pulled his head down, scattering random kisses over his taut features. Whispering his name over and over, plea and demand melded as he made her want…and want. This is how it had been from the very first—an explosion of desire that clawed inside her, desperate for release, yearning for fulfillment.
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