For the first time she watched as her lover came apart with a pleasure so intense that it increased the rapture spreading through her body. She abandoned herself to him, just as he had to her, shattered by the feeling of being reborn, dying and finding life once more before she collapsed across his broad chest.
Smoothing the tangle of her hair back, Colter framed her face with his hands. “If I died today,” he said, his voice tight and husky, “and I was offered heaven, there could be no greater joy waiting there, than that of loving you.”
Elizabeth paled. His words made tears blur her eyes until his features wavered before her. Her mind recoiled from his mention of death, but as she slowly blinked to clear her vision, she knew from the seriousness of his dark gaze that living with the fear of death was as much a part of Colter as all that she loved about him.
“I’ve frightened you, love.”
“Yes,” she answered without hesitation, kissing his lips. And against them she whispered, “But my love, you are so much a man to tell me of your fear.”
“I love you, I love you,” he repeated, rolling over to his side and taking her with him. Cradling her in his arms, Colter knew he would tell of his fears. “It is not my own fear of dying that plagues me, but the lies I am forced to tell when men who are sick of war look to me to restore their sense of honor and valor. I must turn away from the plea of a boy who’s never been away from home and longs for his family, wishing I could get him a furlough. Tedium and terror are the soldiers’ constant companions in the camps, and I don’t know how to combat them.”
Elizabeth made a choked sound. She lifted his hand and smoothed it against her cheek, then pressed a kiss into his hard palm. She understood about fears, but she didn’t have Colter’s courage to share hers with him. “Tell me,” she whispered, knowing there was more.
He cupped her chin and tilted her face up toward his. “I risk lives, other men’s lives, and can’t always live with myself when they die.” He could see that she ached for him, but he was grateful there was no pity in her eyes.
“Colter, caring doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong.” But she cried for him, appalled that he endured these experiences. As the moments passed, she knew, too, that his offering this trust forged another bond between them.
His lips brushed the tears from her cheeks. “That’s why I need your love. I need to know that you are waiting and safe for me to retreat to for a few stolen hours of peace.”
Colter tucked her head beneath his chin, holding her for long minutes, letting her cry for both of them. He found that sharing what he had never told to another eased the burden he carried alone. Her generous love, her compassion, would be talismans when the black nightmares came in the middle of the night to wake him with a clammy, cold fear. Time with Elizabeth made sweet, warm memories to hold fear at bay.
She quieted, but he wouldn’t let her go until the sounds of others stirring in the house reached him. It wasn’t long before he heard Rutha gently scolding Nicole that she couldn’t wake her mama. Torn between needing to spend a few more stolen minutes with Elizabeth and wanting to be with his daughter, Colter finally forced himself from her side.
Elizabeth’s lashes were spiked with wetness and her eyes were still sleepy.
“Stay, love, and rest. I’ll see to Nicole,” he said, slipping from the bed and out into the parlor to retrieve his clothes.
She wanted to call out and stop him, biting back the words. Nicole and Colter needed each other for a little while.
With a sigh she turned back to rest her head on the pillow that still held the imprint of his head. She smiled softly to inhale a faint, lingering masculine scent. The war, Alma, James’s unknown fate, all faded. Even work was forgotten. She slept to the lullaby of Nicole’s sweet, innocent laughter joined with Colter’s.
It was almost midday when kisses tempted Elizabeth from her sleep. Her smile was dreamy until she opened her eyes and gave a start. Her cheeks were pressed between two pairs of lips. One pair was soft and sticky with jam, and the other pair was surrounded by beard stubble. She teased them by closing her eyes and sighing, nestling her head deeper into the pillow. She heard Nicole whisper to Colter, “Our lady won’t wake up.” Colter’s answer to the problem was a tussle-and-tickle match, with Elizabeth in the middle until she cried off with a burst of laughter.
She realized he had returned and managed to slip on her wrapper while she slept. When she turned to him, his look was cherishing. “Thank you,” she whispered, offering him a warm smile.
“Madam, the pleasure, I assure you, was all mine.” His grin was frankly sensual, the light in his eyes wicked. She turned her attention to Nicole. “Coward,” he murmured close to her ear, and laughed.
Her hair bow undone, flour smudges on her cheeks and down her cornflower blue frock, Nicole began bouncing on the bed, demolishing any semblance to neatness that Rutha had attempted. “We played, Mama. We played the bestest games. Now you come, too!” she demanded, tugging on her hand.
Colter’s face loomed over Elizabeth’s. “Oh, yes, Mama, do come and play the very bestest of games with us,” he teased with a mock leer, made comic by the streak of flour across the dark of his eyebrow. Suddenly he scooped Elizabeth up into his arms and came to his knees. “What should I do with our captive now that we have her secure, princess?”
“Colter!”
“Shall we gag her to prevent her giving our secret away?” he asked Nicole, trying to contain a squirming Elizabeth. “Think quickly, or she’ll get free.”
“What secret?”
“We’re hiding,” Nicole explained, looking at her mother with frowning concentration. “We can’t be mean,” she told Colter.
“No meanness,” he repeated, taking a firmer grip on his captive.
“I know. Feed her lots of jam an’ make her sticky,” she cried, clapping her small hands while wearing a smile of unholy glee.
“The jam pot it is, my lady.” And to Elizabeth, he threatened, “Prepare yourself, madam, you are about to meet your fate.”
Elizabeth tried hard not to laugh. She thought she managed to look sufficiently frightened.
Colter thought otherwise. “Here now, let’s have a proper reaction at hearing the terrible fate that awaits you.”
The very stern tone of his voice prompted her to release a wail of horror.
“We’ve got her! We’ve got her,” Nicole yelled, jumping off the bed and running from the room.
Elizabeth linked her arms around Colter’s shoulders. “I seem to be thanking you for so much, but this one is from my heart for giving her laughter to replace yesterday.”
Colter allowed the serious turn, for the moment. “She hasn’t forgotten. We talked this morning. But children will allow healing where adults cannot.” He backed off the bed, holding her securely in his arms. “And now, to please my princess, I must bring you to her.” But his whispers had nothing to do with childish games. The bare length of her thigh peeking from the ill-draped wrapper, the hint of shadowed cleavage, the passion swell lingering on her mouth, all caught his noted attention as he carried her out into the parlor.
The jam pot was waiting. Nicole held it clenched in her chubby hands.
Colter placed Elizabeth on the settee, smiling to see the flushed tint of her cheeks before he stepped back. He began a poor imitation of a drumroll. Nicole came forward as the notes died away and Colter backed around the settee.
Elizabeth’s gaze darted between the two of them. “Surely you don’t intend to allow her—”
“Princess,” he said, standing behind Elizabeth, “the captive is all yours.”
Nicole tried hard to look serious. Her lips pursed. The jam pot shook in her hands. A smothered giggle escaped her. Then another.
“You go first,” she said to Colter.
Elizabeth screamed.
Colter whipped a plate of misshapen, charred biscuits up to her nose. Nicole thrust the jam pot into her mother’s hands.
“Eat!” t
hey both ordered at the same time.
Biscuits, jam pot and plate went flying as Nicole launched herself at Elizabeth. Colter made an attempt to save the jam pot and only succeeded in having his hand covered. When he tried to retrieve it, the jam smeared across Elizabeth’s wrapper and Nicole’s shoulder. Laughter erupted, biscuits crumbled, but when they were done, Elizabeth did manage to taste their efforts at baking. She heard that Rutha had threatened them with a broom to leave the kitchen, Miss Emily had chased them from the parlor when they attempted to offer her a taste of their baking effort, and even Josh had ordered them from the barn because the smell of their burned biscuits was making his mules rambunctious.
Silly smiles and bouts of giggles marked the early afternoon hours, until Nicole, happily exhausted, took a nap.
Colter sat on the wooden front porch railing as Elizabeth came out to join him. He slipped an arm around her waist and held her at his side.
“Happy?” he murmured, brushing a kiss across her hair.
“Very,” she returned with a deep sigh of contentment. Elizabeth had no wish to ever let reality intrude, but his pensive look prompted her to speak. “I feel guilty that I shirked my duties by not attending work today. But even more so for not asking how long you can stay.”
“I’ve been out here thinking while you settled Nicole for her nap,” he answered, deliberately avoiding a direct response to her. “You must see after what’s happened that you cannot remain here.”
“But Colter—”
“Wait. Hear me out, love. I want to take you to Richmond. I know the risks, but feel remaining here where you are isolated from all help is the greater one.”
“Colter, Emily will never leave her home and I can’t leave her alone.”
“I understand and even applaud your feelings of loyalty and caring for Emily, but I beg you to give my suggestion careful consideration.”
Elizabeth angled her head to see his face. “Are you making a suggestion or giving me an order, Colter?” For a fraction of a second, she swore his jaw clenched, and when he didn’t immediately answer, she repeated her query.
“If I demand it, you’ll tell me that I have no right to order you. If I say it is a suggestion that holds a great deal of merit, you will agree to consider it, but never go. You present me with the devil’s dilemma.”
He tightened his grip around her waist and gazed down into her eyes, which were churning with storm warnings. “I have better protection to offer you and Nicole in Richmond. And,” he added with an attempt at a smile, “I will likely be able to spend more time with you.”
“As an added inducement, Colonel. The idea is charming.” Elizabeth was hurt by her belief that he was reducing her to a role of convenient bed warmer.
“Don’t play the grand dame with me, Elizabeth.” With a sudden gleam in his dark eyes, he said, “Please don’t twist what I meant.”
“You implied—”
“I love you. Don’t ever reduce what I feel for you to anything but respect and love.”
“Colter, please,” she whispered, cupping his cheek with one hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I wish I could give you…never mind. I don’t have time. I leave for Richmond within the hour,” he stated impatiently. “You must decide. If you agree to go, I’ll have arrangements to make. If you refuse…” He stopped himself from outwardly threatening her but knew she sensed that was what he wanted to do. This time when she pulled away from him, he let her go.
She assumed a protective pose, arms folded across her chest, head bowed and spine rigid. A flush of anger rose in Colter. Did she feel she needed protection from him?
Elizabeth remained turned away from him, knowing she could not voice her thoughts to Colter. He would likely be shocked at their turn. She did not question the merit of his suggestion, having decided to be generous and believe that was what he had presented. She found herself reluctant to give up her own independence. Making a move to Richmond, being under his protection, seemed a decisive step toward total dependence upon Colter. A step he would more than welcome. His motives, beyond this, were unquestionable. He would do anything to protect them, but she wondered if he had realized the exposure to gossip that this move could bring. And as unwanted as the thought was, she had to consider the fact that she might have a husband somewhere. The mere thought of James coming back into her life made her shiver. Her reluctance to discuss this with Colter stemmed from his bald announcement of his leaving within the hour. Now was not the time.
Colter had had enough. He stepped up behind her and cupped her shoulders. “Whatever it is that troubles you, Elizabeth, share it with me.”
“You ask for too quick a decision.”
“I have a war at my back, in case you’ve forgotten.”
The sharp edge of his voice made her turn around to face him. “If I do, blame yourself, Colonel. You make it far too easy to forget everything.”
“Why are we fighting?” he asked, drawing her close.
His soft tone disarmed her. Tension seeped from her body. “I honestly don’t know. I don’t want to send you away angry, but you must understand I need more time.”
“Elizabeth, there’s only one answer. Time is the one thing I can’t grant you.”
Confusion clouded her eyes and she gazed out over the barren field. “If I leave Emily, Rutha and Josh will stay with her. But I want to keep my work. I would need a place to stay, and to find someone trustworthy to care for Nicole.”
“I have both,” he stated.
“Both?” she asked, unconsciously condemning him with a look. When he nodded, she threw caution to the wind. “Did you plan all this before ever mentioning it to me?”
“Walk soft with your anger, love. I haven’t been held accountable for my actions—”
“How well I can attest to that.”
“Since I was in brace-supported trousers,” he finished on a stringent note. When he saw by the stubborn set of her chin that she would not relent, Colter heaved a sigh and gave in. “Listen to me. Yes, I admit I wanted this move before the kidnapping attempt. But the reasons concern Andre, not just my own desire.”
“Andre? Why? Has he a mistress and child hidden away somewhere, too?”
“Snap that tongue at me one more time, madam, and I’ll show you…no. No,” he repeated, unclenching his fingers so they were no longer gripping her. “This stops now. My friend, Andre, has fallen in love with a lovely woman, Naomi. She, like you, dearest, is rather too independent for her own good. Having you room together will serve the dual purpose of giving her a chance to work by caring for Nicole, and keeping you both under Dobie’s watchful eye.”
Colter refrained from mentioning Dobie could also keep watch over Hugh’s wife, Jenna. He didn’t wish to add an additional burden to Elizabeth just now.
“You still hesitate, Elizabeth? What more can I say? Naomi is young, but of a serious nature. She is in possession of a suite of rooms in a private home. The area is quiet and the houses modest, but—”
“Oh, hush, Colter. You sound as if you are procuring—”
“Proposing,” he interjected.
“Proposing what, exactly?”
“Have I told you,” he whispered, hugging her close and placing a kiss on the tip of her nose, “that I adore you when you assume that prim manner?”
“And have I told you, that your charming wiles work too well on me, Colonel?”
“You’ll say yes?”
“To what?”
“To everything, love, to everything.”
Chapter Sixteen
Elizabeth said yes. No matter what excuses she offered to herself and Emily, she knew she could not allow Colter to return to his war duties worrying about her and Nicole.
Making that simple admission allowed her to bring order to the whirlwind that followed their announcement.
“Shouldn’t you warn this young woman—”
“Naomi,” Colter supplied, carrying out Nicole’s trunk to be loaded onto the wagon.
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“Yes, this Naomi. Shouldn’t she be told we’re coming?”
“Already taken care of, love. Dobie left…” He caught himself before letting her know just when it was the Dobie left for Richmond.
“Colter.”
He refused to hear the warning in her voice. “You said yes, love. It is too late to change your mind.”
That was an understatement, and Elizabeth knew it. He had promptly told Nicole as soon as she showed her sleepy little face. Her excitement had kept them all at a fever pitch of activity.
Emily, she reflected as she packed the last of her own few clothes, had proved to be understanding, even going so far as to say that Colter was right in his choice.
Elizabeth swore silently that she knew exactly how the city of Richmond had felt when the Yankees were camped less than nine miles from their gates—besieged on all sides by the enemy.
But she was smiling as she joined them outside. There were hugs and kisses to give and receive, along with the promise to return for Christmas. Elizabeth avoided looking at Colter when Emily mentioned the upcoming holiday, for she knew without asking that he wouldn’t be with them.
Finally Josh complained that they had to leave or he would be returning in the dark. Elizabeth was crushed between Josh and Colter on the wooden seat, with Nicole settled on Colter’s lap.
She was grateful that Colter kept their child amused on the ride to the city, for she was suddenly beset by doubts about the move.
Comforting herself with Emily’s parting words that she could come back if these arrangements proved unsuitable, Elizabeth shook off her dour mood. Colter gave Josh the directions and she was pleasantly surprised when he turned onto Franklin Street and guided the team down a narrow alley. Steps led up to a garden gate, and above the high retaining wall she glimpsed the brick two-story house.
“Nicole will have a yard to play in,” Colter remarked, lowering his daughter to Josh’s waiting arms. He jumped down and, with his hands on Elizabeth’s waist, swung her off the wagon. “And you’ll be able to watch her, since the lower floor contains your rooms.”
A Corner of Heaven Page 17
