Natalie had not actually spoken to the bear of a man herself since the night he had watched over her sleep, but Mejhit had been an efficient messenger. The last that Natalie had heard from her, BJ and the others had been kept busy during their week apart. Mejhit had refused to give any specifics, but between Natalie’s schedule and theirs, there had been no time for the group to reunite.
It was just as Natalie began to reminisce that the doorknob rattled, a hulking and familiar body awkwardly stuffing itself into the room a moment later. Natalie didn’t bother to hide her grin as BJ nodded his head at her, grazing it on the ceiling with a discontented rumble as he did.
Watching him attempt to settle into the chair across from her brought a guffaw from Natalie, and she was pleased to see the faintest of smiles on his lips. “You keep laughing at me and I’m going to make sure you only get kid’s chairs to sit in for the rest of your life. Don’t test me.”
This was unarguably a business visit, but it was good to remember that BJ did have a sense of humor. For her part, Natalie stilled the mirth on her face and fixed BJ with her best business front. It was terrible, but it did draw out another chuckle from the both of them.
Like every moment of laughter that they had shared before, Natalie knew it was only a matter of time before it was swept away. She loved being able to have these moments, but they were here for a reason. No sooner had BJ finally adjusted to his seat when he took on his usual appraising stare, confirming that he too knew it was time to be serious.
“Why?” BJ’s face was chiseled from stone, though Natalie could have sworn he looked almost morose as he asked the question. He was more curt than she had expected, but she was ready for this. It might be a challenge, but she was certain she could convince him of why she was eligible for his team
“I’ve been learning from Dr. Mejhit. It may have only been a week, but she thinks I’m good enough to serve in the field. I know that I don’t have as much weapons train-” Natalie fell short as BJ loosed an agitated rumble, confusion plain on her face.
“No, no no. Not why should I let you come with us. Why in the Hell would you want to?” BJ leaned in toward her as he spoke, and the table groaned under the pressure. Natalie’s brow furrowed. To her, the answer had been obvious, but she would have expected more practicality from BJ for vetting potential new members.
“I want to join because…” Natalie hesitated, not due to tense nerves, but because she couldn’t think of a complicated answer. “...it’s where I belong. I don’t know what else to say. It feels right.” She felt a blooming red on her cheeks as she spoke, immediately regretting what she had said.
Sure, the reason I want to go out to a dangerous land and do some stupidly dangerous things is because, I dunno, it sounds fun. That’s real convincing, Natalie. Definitely a mature and well thought out answer. Who could say no to that?
BJ was silent, though Natalie knew that wasn’t indicative of anything. After another few seconds, there came a trademark rumbling that signaled the end of BJ’s deliberations. As frustrated as Natalie was with herself, she had no idea what way he would decide. BJ often surprised her with his choices.
“Are you sure? There’s no going back.” He hadn’t finished his sentence before Natalie was nodding vigorously. She refused to stay here, and if all he needed was the assurance that she was committed to the crew, he had it. Once again, he took her measure, and Natalie saw the same strange look in his eyes. Was he sad?
“Grab your gear. We’re going.” BJ said nothing further as he pried himself free from his seat, brisk as ever. Natalie nearly leapt up from her chair in her excitement. She was surprised he had accepted her without much interest in her actual talent as a new squad member, but she wasn’t going to question that now. There would be time for that later.
“We’ve got recon orders. The undead have been quiet for days now, and last night we got reports of a gunfight between unknown parties.” BJ never broke stride as he left the room, talking over his shoulder to Natalie as she followed behind. She nearly yelped as she stepped outside into the hall only to be immediately flanked by Marco and Rico.
“Hey hey, whole gang’s back together. I like it.” Rico punched Natalie’s shoulder, an impish grin plastered on his face. It was enough to warm Natalie’s heart, though she noticed Marco looked significantly more sour.
On a different day she might have been curious about his attitude, but at the moment she found it hard to care. She was finally back, and this time, she wasn’t just an honorary member of necessity. Come what may, Natalie was where she wanted to be, and that meant more to her than anything else.
The only thought that continued to weigh on her was BJ’s odd behavior. He was always reserved, but Natalie was certain something was bothering him about her request to join his team, and it seemed as though Rico knew what it was.
While they picked their way from building to building in the outpost, slowly but surely getting nearer to the main gate, Rico consistently directed the conversation toward small talk. It was always just innocent enough to prevent Natalie from calling him on it, but any attempt she made to steer the talk toward her new membership was rebuffed.
Eventually, Natalie gave up on trying to pry a real response from the group. She knew she’d get her answer eventually, be it from BJ finally deciding to speak his mind or Marco inadvertently blurting it out with his trademark tactlessness. Rather than worry about her reception, Natalie opted to try and do her duty as well as possible. For now, that meant gathering information.
“BJ mentioned that we’re on recon duty today. Something about the zombies not being active?” While Natalie knew that their leader was well within earshot, he hadn’t said another word since announcing their basic mission goals. Talking about him as if he weren’t around may have been rude, but at this point it was practical, as Rico was the only person who seemed receptive to communication.
“That’s right. Weird stuff. Normally, the outpost would see a few deadheads pop up at the walls from time to time. Never enough to be serious, mostly just stragglers that wandered over, but lately we haven’t even had that. I’m hoping the sudden silence means good news for us.” Rico nodded his head to himself as he finished, speaking just a little too loudly for it to be casual conversation. Natalie noticed a handful of refugees nearby prick up their ears at his words, and she felt another surge of frustration.
More propaganda. I guess I should have expected this. Natalie sighed to herself before smiling broadly, doing her part to convince the masses that things were surely taking a turn for the better! It was a sickening thing to need to do, but sometimes people needed hope more than truth.
Though, shit... that means there is something worth hiding, doesn’t it? Natalie didn’t like thinking about where this conversation might be headed, but she knew it was something she’d need to hear sooner or later. After glancing around to ensure that the passersby were placated with their little white lie and that nobody would overhear him, he leaned in close.
“BJ said he’d showed you his map, the one where he kept a record of all the places we’ve lost, and when?” Natalie nodded, keeping her face as neutral as possible while Rico talked. The undead, or their supposed handlers, had been destroying one facility every five days exactly for quite some time. Dropping his voice to a whisper, Rico continued.
“Well they missed their schedule twice now. Most outposts haven’t seen a single biter for days, either. It all sounds like good news, if you don’t know that somebody is using these things. The only reason they’d be pulling back like this is if they had a plan, and I don’t care who you are, everybody knows that any plan they come up with is bad news for us.” Rico broke away abruptly, cheerfully waving at a nearby woman who appeared to have recognized him. Whoever she was, she smiled brightly before calling out.
“Got more good news for us, Rico?” Like a master con artist, Rico played his part without missing a beat.
“Things are remarkably quiet out there, so we’re
doing a scav run to take advantage of the peace. Should be a good one! I might even be able to snag a new dress for you today.” Rico’s accompanying grin was equal parts friendly and flirtatious, the perfect accent for his little play. He’s certainly good at keeping up appearances, I’ll give him that. Wonder how many times I’ve fallen for the same trick since we met.
The woman chuckled, Rico did too, and he walked the last hundred feet to the exit checkpoint with a big fake smile glued to his face. The instant they stepped inside the tent together, it faded, but Rico continued with his story while BJ checked out with the guard.
“Yeup. Going to be able to get out to some unexplored places today for looting, since the dead have fallen back. Might even get some real privacy for once.” Natalie almost asked what the Hell was going on before Rico winked suggestively at her.
It was obvious that he did it, and another soldier nearby laughed under his breath at the implication, but Natalie knew it had nothing to do with flirting. For whatever reason, he was putting on another show and he wanted her to play along. Natalie tittered before bouncing her head in the affirmative.
“It’s true, I’ve been hoping to find some private time for us. What do you think BJ likes to talk about, anyway?” On cue, Rico looked suitably crestfallen, and the soldier who had laughed before practically roared with amusement. Idiot. Hurry up, BJ.
Whether he had heard her silent request or not, BJ finished his exchange with the guard and beckoned for the rest of them to follow him outside. Rico exchanged one last sorry look with the soldier, who assured him that he’d have better luck next time, before the gates were closed behind them.
The reports had been right about the undead not being sighted for days. There was a great deal of blood and gore that coated the ground around the walls, but all of it was old. Even though she had been told to expect this, it came as a surprise.
“They really haven’t been around… that’s so strange. This place makes a fair amount of noise, and they’re ruthless enough. Even if they’re controlled sometimes, are they really smart enough to avoid coming here on their own?” Natalie wasn’t speaking to anyone in particular, and certainly wasn’t expecting an answer, but for the first time since they were reunited, Marco spoke.
“They’ve always been smarter than they should have been.” He shrugged at that, caught on his own words. “Though, shit, what’s the standard supposed to be? Not like zombies have ever been real before. Who can say what they’re ‘supposed’ to be like. Best to just accept that we’re getting lucky for now.”
Marco still wouldn’t look directly at her, but Natalie wondered if maybe whatever had been bothering him was subsiding. Like Rico, however, his words had been too loud, leaving her to wonder if his response was more for the guards watching them from the towers than her.
Something was going on, that much was obvious, but Natalie trusted the others. They had a reason for their actions, which she was sure she’d be filled in on as soon as they were out of earshot. Whatever they were doing involved the guards just as much as the civilians, which was strange. Maybe the soldiers are just as in the dark as everyone else?
They marched to silence, BJ leading them on toward their destination with an unnatural carelessness. He was making no attempt to hide his location, barreling along down the center of the street without worry, and didn’t seem to care that he was making unnecessary noise as he did. Marco and Rico were following suit, though they at least looked uncomfortable. They were clearly ignoring what their reflexes were telling them to do, and Natalie glanced uneasily back the way they’d come.
They’re doing this because we’re still in sight of the main gate. Why the Hell are they this concerned about appearances? Natalie’s skin was prickling, her own instincts screaming at her to be more careful. This was too much to be a simple lie for the sake of maintaining hope.
The only reason Natalie could think of that would make BJ risk themselves like this was if he believed they were taking the safest course available to them. So maybe BJ and the military aren’t on the same page anymore. What happened back in town?
BJ’s path veered left, taking them down another road and away from the watchful presence of the camp. The moment they were out of sight, the men released a frustrated sigh in unison before ducking down into cover behind a nearby stoop.
“Tell me we’re done playing good soldier, B. I can’t handle any more of that shit. I thought I was going to have a meltdown.” Rico kept rolling his shoulders as if he were trying to buck off an invisible demon, the irritation plain on his face as he addressed BJ.
While Marco remained quiet, it was clear from the vein pulsing in his neck that he shared his cousin’s feelings on the matter. BJ snapped his teeth in a rare show of temper, and both of the other men promptly fell back.
“You both know that we have to keep up appearances. Bitching about it won’t make a difference.” It took him a moment to regain his composure, but as soon as he did, BJ turned to address Natalie personally.
“You’ve got questions, and we’ve only got a little bit of time to answer. Talk fast; I don’t want to stop here, no matter what those assholes try to tell me is ‘safe.’” BJ was practically snarling by the time he’d finished his sentence, his anger bubbling to the surface and causing him to lose focus. Natalie decided not to risk provoking him further, and unsure of where to start, simply blurted out what was on her mind.
“What in the Hell is going on here? Why did Rico make all that crap up about scavving instead of recon? Why did we just casually walk down the street like we’re going for a pleasant Sunday stroll when we know how stupid that is?” Natalie’s voice came out louder than she intended, her frustration being fueled by the mutual unrest in the group and overtaking her judgment.
It wasn’t the lying or the uncertainty that had gotten to her, as much as the implications that those actions had. Any reason they had to lie to the soldiers, combined with Rico and BJ’s obvious distaste for them, left Natalie feeling sour. Things were already bad enough; they didn’t need another excuse to get worse. Unfortunately for her, BJ was gearing up for a second growling tirade.
“The boys in charge don’t believe the zombies are being controlled. They think there are human enemies, and that they’re responsible for this, but that’s it. More specifically, they’re so goddamn ‘insistent’ that the two are totally separate that they’re practically crucifying anyone who says otherwise. I spoke up a handful too many times, nearly got us on a shitlist, and so now we’ve got to be good little boys and girls.” BJ was nearly frothing, and even the cousins were seething quietly. Natalie was dumbfounded.
“This isn’t a recon mission, not on paper. There’s ‘no reason to authorize’ one of those, so we made something up. Those fucking pricks want to talk about how safe the surrounding area is now that the biters are out of sight, fine. What better time to scavenge some goods, then.” Natalie felt a small spike of amusement at the triumphant look on BJ’s face as he recounted what happened. Rico was smirking so smugly that Natalie could have mistaken him for Marco, who was chuckling darkly to himself.
“Wesley nearly shit a brick when BJ told him that. Jackass. Took some of the wind out of him, I’ll say that much.” Rico and BJ both nodded along contentedly with Marco’s words. Whoever this Wesley was, it sounded like he might be BJ’s boss. It was hard to imagine anybody ordering the giant veteran around, but Natalie supposed everybody had someone above them on the food chain.
The fact that the people in charge would deny the obvious implications of the seemingly organized undead was eating at Natalie, so she found it hard to join the men in their little celebration of tongue-in-cheek rebellion.
“BJ, have you shown them our evidence? I know we can’t say for sure that we’re right about this, but come on. Even they have to admit it looks like we might be on to something, right?” Natalie’s questions struck a sobering chord with the men, dousing their mood and causing them to cast conspiratorial glances at one an
other.
“I showed them. They even took my map, though it was only a copy. I’d known enough by then to suspect that something was off.” BJ’s voice was thick with hate, and it made Natalie’s skin crawl.
“The level of denial we’re seeing, it’s borderline traitorous. The only reason you’d be this against the facts at hand is if you had a vested interest in keeping people unprepared. We’re out here to prove it.” Marco and Rico grunted their approval in a fashion that was taken straight from BJ’s own mannerisms, while the big man himself took a moment to focus his intensity on Natalie.
“Either we find a connection that shows the folks back home don’t have our best interests at heart, or we find irrefutable evidence that the zombies are more complicated than they keep saying. Either way, their bullshit stops.” The way his eyes were fixed on her, Natalie was sure BJ was waiting for her to confirm that she was on board. Then it hit her.
This was why the others had been acting so strangely around her admission to the team. They knew they were going to be breaking orders. BJ had been upset because he knew she didn’t understand what she was getting into, Rico had been trying to keep her from questioning it while they traveled in the outpost, and Marco…
Well, Marco probably thought bringing her along was a bad idea, so he’d been upset about her joining in the first place. It made sense. The only other time she’d seen him this bitter was when she had corrected his hand signals.
The thought of reporting BJ, or even disagreeing with his plan, was so absurdly comical to Natalie that she almost laughed aloud. Marco might be a pain in the ass, but these were her people now. Her loyalty belonged to them.
“So, if that’s the plan, then I’m guessing we’re off to investigate the gunshots that got reported because it might have involved the undead. We find them, maybe we find the link we’re after. Makes sense. Ready to go?” Natalie shrugged her shotgun into her hands, familiarizing herself with its feeling once again. It also served to answer BJ’s unspoken question; she was with them for the long haul.
The Phoenix Trilogy (Book 1): World On Fire Page 21
