by Diana Palmer
At the office, Shelby finally finished her chores and wondered whether or not to knock on Barry Holman’s door. She decided against it. If they were in a clinch, it would be cruel to interrupt them.
She phoned the house and asked if Justin was there, but Maria said that he hadn’t arrived yet. So she went out, leaving a note on her desk, got into her car and drove home. So much for Justin’s promise to come and pick her up. But maybe he hadn’t gotten home yet. She smiled, comforting herself with that thought.
She pulled into the driveway and left the car at the front steps, eager to see if he’d come in. She darted down the hall to his study, and there he was.
“Hello!” She laughed.
But the man whose black, cold eyes sought hers across the room didn’t remotely resemble the tender lover who’d left for Wyoming last Wednesday. He was smoking a cigarette, and he looked as indifferent to her as a stranger might.
“You’re late,” he remarked.
“I…we had court,” she said, faltering. “I told you I’d be working late.”
“So you did.” He took another draw from the cigarette. “You look worried. Is anything wrong?”
“I thought you might be glad to see me,” she said with a hesitant smile.
He smiled back, but it wasn’t pleasant. He was dying inside, but he wasn’t about to let her see it. “Did you?” he asked carelessly. “I suppose you don’t remember what you did to me six years ago. I’m sorry to disappoint you if you expected me to have fallen under your spell again. I haven’t. What we had those few weeks was a small recompense for the anguish you gave me in the past. But I didn’t realize you expected to build a future on it.” He laughed coldly. “Sorry, honey. Once was enough. But don’t think I can’t live without you. You’re like wine—I don’t need to get drunk on you to enjoy the occasional sip.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She knew her face had gone quite pale. She was almost surely pregnant and Justin was telling her that he didn’t want her anymore.
“I thought…you realized that I hadn’t slept with Tom.”
“Sure I did,” he admitted. “But you broke the engagement all the same, didn’t you, and told the whole damned world that I wasn’t rich enough to suit you.” His eyes glittered coldly. “Now it’s my turn. I’m rich and I don’t want you anymore, honey. Try that on for size.”
She turned and ran, a sob breaking in her throat as she went helter-skelter up the staircase and into her old room. She locked the door and threw herself on the bed, crying helplessly. It was like a nightmare.
Several minutes passed. She’d thought, hoped, that Justin hadn’t meant it. She’d listened and waited, hoping against hope that he might come after her, that he might reconsider what he’d said. But there were no footsteps on the staircase and she was finally forced to the conclusion that he wasn’t going to follow her.
It didn’t seem to bother him, either, that she’d gone to bed in her old room. She heard his footsteps much later going down the hall toward the bedroom they’d shared. The door closed and stayed closed.
Shelby didn’t know what had gone wrong. When Justin had left for Wyoming, everything had been perfect for them. His emotional distance had disturbed her, but she’d been sure that he was beginning to feel something for her. Now, he was a stranger. The revenge she hadn’t thought he wanted was now evident. He looked at her as if he couldn’t care less about her, and what he’d said had cut her to the bone.
She finally slept, wondering how she was going to manage to go on. Exhausted, tears streaking her pale cheeks, she faced the loss of everything she’d ever loved. And Justin was first on that list.
Down the hall, the man who’d just returned from Wyoming was lying awake, too, missing the familiar sound of Shelby’s breathing, the feel of her soft body against his in the darkness. He felt guilty and sick at the way he’d spoken to her, at the tears and hurt he’d caused. But he was hurting, too. He’d thought that Shelby loved him, and all along she’d only married him because she’d lost her home and security. She was playing him for a fool all over again, keeping a man in the background. The fact that it was her handsome boss only made it worse. Now he knew why she’d fought him about giving up her job. She was in love with her playboy boss, that was why she’d refused to come home. And now he’d seen proof of her disloyalty. He could hardly bear the pain. He didn’t know how he was going to go on living with her after what he’d seen.
Just for a minute, he considered the possibility of confronting her with the truth. But what good would that do? He’d confronted her with Tom Wheelor, and she’d lied. She’d lied at the time, and she’d lied since. He’d been lured into a false sense of security. He’d really begun to trust her again. What a good thing that he’d gone into town unannounced tonight to bring her home. Now she couldn’t fool him again. He’d seen the real Shelby, and he was disgusted with her. He knew she’d been a virgin when she’d married him, but now that he’d gotten her over the hurdle of her first time, probably she was enjoying a totally new relationship with her boss.
That was the last straw. With an angry sigh, he closed his eyes and forced himself to put her out of his mind.
The next morning, he went downstairs with a carefully schooled expression, determined not to let Shelby know that he was cut to the bone emotionally. He’d die before he’d show it.
Shelby was up early, too, drinking black coffee and nibbling halfheartedly at toast. She looked up when he came into the dining room, her eyes swollen from crying all night, her expression one of hopeful uncertainty.
“You didn’t mean what you said last night, did you?” she asked. Her green eyes searched his. “Did you, Justin?”
He moved past her and sat down casually at the head of the table, pouring coffee into his cup from the carafe before he answered her. “I meant every word of it, Shelby,” he replied. He helped himself to bacon, eggs and biscuits, as nonchalantly as if she were a business associate. “Have some eggs.”
She couldn’t bear the sight of them, much less the taste. Her appetite had long since gone, and she was already in danger of losing the tiny bites of toast she’d taken. She shook her head.
His dark eyes narrowed as he studied her. She looked worn. Her long hair was luxurious, but her face was pale and pinched, even with makeup.
“I’m not very hungry,” she added.
“Suit yourself.” He didn’t show his own lack of appetite. He was quiet long enough to clean his plate, but he could feel Shelby’s eyes and they made him uncomfortable.
“What kind of relationship do you have in mind for us now?” she asked with the shreds of her pride drawn around her.
He pushed his plate aside and sipped his coffee. “You’re my wife,” he said coolly. “You’ll live in my house and I’ll take care of you. But we’ll have separate rooms, and separate lives, from now on.”
Her eyes closed on a wave of sorrow and shame. And what about the baby I’m carrying, she wanted to ask. What about our child?
“Surely sleeping alone won’t bother you now,” he chided. “Since you’ve already satisfied your curiosity.”
“It won’t bother me,” she said huskily. She couldn’t finish her coffee. The smell of it made her stomach churn. She got to her feet very slowly. “I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.”
His eyes flashed. “God forbid that you should be late for…work,” he said.
She was too sick to notice the hesitation or the venom in his tone. She got out while she could, forcing herself not to show weakness. That was the one thing she couldn’t afford at the moment.
She went to work and was violently sick in the bathroom the minute she got there. She mopped her face with wet paper towels and sat quietly at her desk until she got the nausea under control. It was going to take time to reconcile herself to Justin’s new coldness. It was like having a glimpse of heaven and then being forced back to reality again. She didn’t know why he’d taken this way to get back at her. It was go
ing to be almost impossible for her to stay with him, but she had nowhere else to go. Not yet, at any rate. And certainly not until she was over the first phases of morning sickness and able to move around better than this.
When the boss and Tammy got to the office, she had the nausea under control temporarily. But the late hours were difficult for her, and her appetite was well and truly gone. As the days dragged by, just to put one foot in front of the other was an ordeal.
Abby came over one evening and they worked out the details for Calhoun’s birthday party. Abby noticed the atmosphere and almost said something, but Shelby looked so bad that she bit her tongue and kept quiet. Obviously, something had gone wrong.
“You haven’t forgotten Calhoun’s party?” Shelby asked Justin as they had an increasingly rare meal together before the party.
He looked up from food he didn’t even taste, his eyes quiet and somehow haunted for an instant before he blinked and removed the expression. She looked bad. Her color was terrible and she seemed weak and lackluster. He knew it was because of his coldness, but he couldn’t help it any more than he could help his feelings of betrayal and hurt.
“I haven’t forgotten,” he replied. He leaned back in his chair and studied her. “You don’t look well.”
“It’s been a long week, Justin,” she said dully. “And a little unexpected. You don’t need to worry,” she said with a faint laugh. “I’m all right. I’m just fine, in fact. I’ve got a roof over my head and food to eat, and a job. I’ve got everything you promised me when we got married. I don’t have a complaint.”
She put her fork down and got up, swaying a little. She caught the back of the chair, praying that the sudden blackness would relent before she went down. It did, and she turned away from Justin’s quick movement toward her.
“Are you all right?” The words were torn from him. He hated the way she looked. She made him feel cold with guilt. Amazing, when she’d hurt him, not the reverse.
“I told you. I’m fine.” She left the room with her head high, and went upstairs without another word. They spent no time at all together now. If they had a meal at the same time, it was unusual. Afterward, he always went to his study and she went to her room. Maria noticed, but she and Lopez kept silent. With Justin in his present mood, it was safer that way.
The night of the party, Shelby rested before she dressed. She’d found a dark emerald velvet dress that she’d worn the year before. It had been a little too small when she and Justin married, but the weight loss made it just the right size. It was floor length, sleeveless, with an A-line skirt and a rounded neckline. She pinned up her hair and complemented the dress with a dainty emerald necklace that had been her grandmother’s. She looked frail even with makeup, and she wished that things were different between her and Justin. Abby would surely have mentioned her brief happiness to Calhoun. When Calhoun came tonight and was able to see the distance between his brother and sister-in-law, he was bound to mention it to Justin. Shelby didn’t think she could bear another confrontation.
She touched her stomach, wondering how much longer she should wait before she saw the doctor. They could tell at six weeks, she knew, and it was almost that. But the problem was going to be how to keep it from Justin in a small community like Jacobsville. Perhaps she could go up to Houston and have herself tested at a clinic.
Music was playing downstairs. She dabbed on a tiny bit of perfume and went downstairs, carefully holding onto the banister. She felt wobbly. The past week had been a terrible strain, due to overwork and Justin’s unexplained cold attitude.
She spotted Abby and Calhoun when she got to the first landing. They were arm in arm, looking so happy that they broke her heart. Calhoun was big and blond and Abby was slender and dark. They made a handsome contrast, Calhoun in dark evening clothes and Abby in a pale blue silk that matched her eyes.
Shelby didn’t see Justin until she got downstairs. He was dressed in a dinner jacket, and he looked very elegant. Shelby wondered if he planned to put on an act for their guests, or if he was going to be himself. She didn’t dare look at him too closely. He might see the hurt and longing in her eyes.
She turned toward the door, where Lopez in his white jacket was just opening it to admit the newest guest. Shelby stopped dead at the sight of the man who stood nervously just inside the hall, shifting his feet as he searched the room for a familiar face.
Shelby’s eyes flashed. She couldn’t believe that Justin had had the audacity to invite him. It was Calhoun’s birthday, and she knew Justin wouldn’t expect her to make a scene.
But that didn’t even register as she moved out into the hall, ignoring Justin, and picked up a very expensive antique vase on the way.
“Hello, Tom,” she greeted Tom Wheelor with icy politeness. “How nice to see you again.”
And without a break in her stride, she lifted the vase and threw it straight at Wheelor’s balding head.
Chapter Ten
Shelby watched, fascinated, as the antique vase whizzed past Tom’s left ear and crashed into the hat stand in the corner, knocking Justin’s battered black Stetson to the floor.
“Shelby?” Tom asked, moving back a step.
She reached out for the flower arrangement Maria had painstakingly created for the hall table.
“Shelby, don’t!” Tom whirled, his hands over his head, and ran out the front door.
Shelby took off after him, blind to the shocked looks from the other guests, including her wide-eyed husband.
“Insect,” she raged. “Weak-kneed money man!” She let him get halfway down the stairs before she heaved the flower arrangement in its delft bowl. It connected. Tom almost lost his balance as he caught onto the balustrade with shards of pottery shattering around him.
He struggled the rest of the way down the steps and ran for his car. Shelby watched him go with fury in her eyes. He’d been responsible, indirectly, for all her heartaches. How could he have the gall to come tonight, of all nights, and at Justin’s invitation? Did Tom really think she’d forgotten his part in her anguish? She’d even told him at the time just what she thought of him.
She turned and went back up the steps. She didn’t even look at Justin.
“Good evening,” she greeted the guests, as if nothing at all had happened. “Happy birthday, Calhoun! We’re so glad Abby let us throw this party for you.” She went close and kissed his tanned cheek.
“Thanks, Shelby,” Calhoun murmured.
“Shall we go in to dinner?” Shelby nodded to the others, mostly friends of Justin’s and Calhoun’s whom she barely knew. She took Justin’s arm as if she feared his touch would burn her. She didn’t look at him or speak to him.
“What the hell was that all about?” he asked when they were temporarily out of earshot of the others, heading into the elegantly arranged dining room.
She ignored his question. “How dare you invite that man here?” she asked instead. “How dare you bring him into our home, after the way he let my father use him to break us up?”
“I wanted to see if there were any embers left from the fire,” he said with a cool smile.
“Embers?” She took a sharp breath. “You’re lucky I didn’t kill him. I’m sorry I didn’t!”
“Temper, temper.”
“You can go to hell, Justin, dear,” she said with a smile as icy as his. “And take your moods and your taste for revenge and your cold heart with you.”
His black eyes narrowed. “Still sticking to your story that your father made you break it off with me?”
“Why can’t you believe me?”
“Very simple,” he replied as the others filed into the room. “It was your father’s money that pulled the feedlot out of bankruptcy. He footed the whole damned bill.” His eyes registered her shock. “Surprised? It’s hardly the act of a man who wanted to break us up, wouldn’t you agree?”
Shelby knew her heart was going to beat her to death. She grabbed the back of a chair and almost went down, to Justin’
s surprise.
“Here, sit down, for God’s sake,” he muttered, easing her into her place. “Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not.” She laughed shakily.
Abby, noticing Shelby’s sudden pallor, sat quickly across from her. “Can I get you anything?” she whispered, glancing at the others.
“I’ll be fine, if Justin will get away from me,” she breathed, looking up at him with quiet rage.
He straightened, searching her furious eyes for a long moment. “My pleasure, Mrs. Ballenger,” he said coldly, and turned his attention to their guests.
Shelby never knew afterward how she got through that dinner. She sat like a statue, answering questions, smiling, being the perfect hostess. But when she escaped upstairs to repair her makeup, Abby was two steps behind.
“What’s happened?” her sister-in-law asked without preamble.
“For one thing, I’m pregnant,” Shelby said stiffly.
Abby’s breath sighed out, and her eyes softened. “Oh, Shelby! Does Justin know?”
“He doesn’t, and you’re not to tell him.” Shelby sat down in her wing chair, easing her head back. “He’s on the rampage again about the past. Just for a little while, things were going so well. Then he came back from Wyoming a stranger. He’s been ice-cold ever since. How can I possibly tell him about the baby when he’s acting like that?”
“It might soften his mood,” Abby suggested.
“I don’t need pity.” She put her face in her hands with a tiny shudder. “It’s never going to work, Abby. He can’t leave the past alone. I don’t know what to do. I can’t live like this anymore.”
