Beware of the Giant Brain!

by Mark Young

  Newton frowned. “Red hair, blue eyes. Probably not.…”

  He scrolled and scrolled, looking for a face that reminded him of his own. Then he felt a tingle on his back that told him someone was coming, and he quickly exited the directory as Higgy oozed into the room.

  “What do you say, Newton? Want to eat with us?” Higgy asked.

  “Uh, sure,” Newton said, sliding down from the bunk.

  Higgy paused. “Don’t worry, pal. We’ll find your family.”

  “Thanks, Higgy,” Newton said, but he was feeling less excited than he had been that morning.

  Maybe Mumtaz was right. If Flubitus was confused, all of Newton’s hopes were for nothing!

  CHAPTER 4 Never Mind

  “Today, class, we’re going to discuss channeling electricity from lightning,” Professor Juvinall announced. “Shelly, as a descendant of Victor Frankenstein, you may already be familiar with this.”

  “Actually, I’m not,” Shelly replied. “My branch of the family broke off from the Frankensteins, so until I did the musical, I didn’t know much about him.”

  “You were great in that, by the way,” Professor Juvinall said. “Will you sign my autograph bear?”

  “Sure,” Shelly said, and she approached the professor’s desk, which came up to about Shelly’s knees. That’s because Professor Juvinall was only six years old.

  The professor reached into a drawer and pulled out a canvas bear that she handed to Shelly. “Thanks!”

  Shelly signed the bear and walked back to her chair, blushing.

  “You’re a celebrity, Shelly!” Theremin whispered.

  “Now, where were we?” Juvinall asked. “Right. Using the power of lightning!”

  “Professor Juvinall, why are we doing this?” Odifin asked, his voice crackling through its speaker. “Harnessing lightning is as old as creating three-legged frogs. We have so many other ways to generate electricity in modern times that are more efficient.”

  “I’m sorry, Odifin, but are you the professor, or am I?” Professor Juvinall snapped.

  “You don’t need me to answer that,” Odifin snapped back. “I’m just trying to make the point that working with lightning might be a waste of time.”

  Newton turned to look at Odifin. He was always opinionated, but Newton hadn’t seen him challenge a professor before.

  Professor Juvinall raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Is there something you’d rather be doing with your time than be in this class, Mr. Pinkwad?”

  “I can think of a BAZILLION things! Literally!” Odifin responded.

  Juvinall pointed to the door. “Fine. Then go do them. Get out of my class.”

  “With pleasure!” Odifin said. “Come, Rotwang!”

  Rotwang stood up and slouched as he walked after Odifin, and they left the room.

  Professor Juvinall stuck her tongue out at the departing Odifin, and then turned and glared at her students. “Does anybody else have a complaint about today’s lesson?”

  Nobody made a peep. Juvinall might have been only six years old, but she had the ability to inspire fear in people ten times her age (and nineteen times her age, if you included Professor Wagg).

  “Now, then,” Professor Juvinall said. “Please check your tablets to see who you’ll be partnered with for today’s lesson. Then come up and get some bottled lightning for your group.”

  Newton looked at his tablet, hoping to see Shelly’s or Theremin’s name. Instead Gustav Goddard came up. Newton looked across the room to see a dark-haired boy with a friendly face motioning for Newton to sit next to him.

  Oh well, Newton thought as he sat next to Gustav. I didn’t get Shelly or Theremin, but at least I know Gustav, and he’s nice.

  “Thank you, Newton,” Gustav said. “I think you’re nice too!”

  “You’re wel— Wait!” Newton said. “Did I say that out loud? Because I thought I was just thinking it.”

  Gustav grinned. “You were thinking it,” he replied. He pointed to a device strapped to his wrist that resembled a watch. “I read your mind. It’s a device I’ve been working on with Maxima van Schmarty.”

  Newton’s eyes widened.

  “Newton! Gustav! Come up and get your lightning!” Professor Juvinall called out.

  Newton jogged up to the front desk and grabbed a bottle full of sparkling, sizzling miniature lightning.

  “Careful with that, Newton,” Juvinall said. “It is not a toy.”

  “Yes, Professor,” Newton said, and he slowly walked back to Gustav.

  Suddenly he lost his footing! He tripped forward, and almost face-planted. Thanks to his sticky fingers, he didn’t lose his grip on the bottle, but he rolled over quickly to avoid smashing it against the floor.

  A few of the kids around him clapped, and as Newton got to his feet, he saw Mimi in the seat right next to him, grinning.

  “Gosh, Newton, I guess my foot must have gotten in your way,” Mimi said, looking down her nose at him.

  Why is she so mean to me? Newton wondered. Then he had another thought. We kind of have the same nose. Maybe she’s my sister!

  “Why do you want Mimi, of all people, to be your sister?” Gustav asked as Newton placed the lightning bottle on the table in front of them.

  “You know, it’s kind of not cool to read other people’s minds, and even less cool to say their thoughts out loud,” Newton said.

  “Good point,” Gustav said. “I won’t do it anymore. The watch only works for ten minutes, anyway. Then everything gets garbled until I reset it. Maxima and I are still working out the kinks.”

  “And the person you use it on doesn’t know that you’re using it?” Newton asked.

  Gustav shook his head. “No, that’s the beauty of it. All you have to do is get within a meter of them with the watch.” He took an earpiece out of his ear that Newton hadn’t noticed before. “And with this earpiece the thoughts are translated into words that you hear inside your ear through a tiny speaker.”

  “That’s amazing!” Newton said.

  “Newton! Gustav! Get cracking!” Professor Juvinall snapped.

  The boys stopped talking and followed the instructions on their tablet to complete the activity, which involved using wires to channel the electricity from the lightning to make a bell ring. As they worked, an idea formed in Newton’s mind.

  Flubitus wouldn’t tell him who his relative was. But Flubitus knew. If Newton could read the professor’s mind, maybe he could learn what Flubitus didn’t want to tell him!

  After about twenty minutes, the room was filled with the sound of ringing bells. Newton and Gustav recorded their results, and the room was filled with chatter as students finished up.

  “Gustav, can I borrow your mind-reading device?” Newton asked. “I really— It’s important.”

  Gustav frowned. “I don’t know. It’s still in the prototype stage. And Maxima and I were going to work on it tonight.”

  “I’ll get it back to you before classes are over today,” Newton promised.

  Gustav nodded. “Okay. Let me know how it works for you.”

  He unbuckled the device from his wrist and handed it to Newton. Instead of a watch face, the device had a square-shaped screen with swirling blue and purple lights. Gustav took the earpiece out of his ear and handed it to Newton.

  “Press the button on the side of the screen to activate it,” Gustav instructed. “But there’s only about three minutes left before it gets garbled.”

  “That should be enough,” Newton said. “Thanks!”

  The bell rang, and Newton ran to find Theremin and Shelly.

  “Guys, you won’t believe it,” Newton said.

  “Chances are, I will,” Theremin said. “You’re a pretty honest guy.”

  Newton held out his wrist. “This is a mind-reading machine, and I’m going to use it on Professor Flubitus.”

  “Is that Gustav’s?” Shelly asked. “I heard he was working on one.”

  Newton nodded. “He lent it to me. It�
��s only good for three minutes right now, but that’s all I need. I’ll ask Flubitus again who my relative is, and even if he won’t tell me, the name will pop up in his head.”

  “That’s brilliant, Newton!” Theremin said. “Want us to go with you?”

  “We shouldn’t,” Shelly said. “We don’t want Flubitus to be distracted. He gets distracted enough already.”

  “That makes sense,” Newton said. “I’ll go see him at lunchtime. Then I’ll let you know what I found out.”

  “It’s going to work, Newton,” Shelly said, smiling. “You’re going to learn who your relative is!”

  Newton could barely concentrate through his next classes. When it was time for lunch, he sought out Professor Flubitus.

  The green-haired professor was at his desk, eating a tuna sandwich. Newton could tell it was tuna because it smelled fishy, and because most of it had dribbled down the man’s red-and-yellow polka-dot shirt.

  “Professor Flubitus,” Newton said.

  Flubitus looked up. “Newton! How can I help you?”

  Newton felt to make sure the earpiece was in place. He casually pressed the button on the side of the mind-reading device. The blue and purple lights swirled on the screen. Newton cleared his throat.

  “I really hope you can tell me who my relative at school is,” Newton said. “If I have family, I want to know who they are.”

  “But I told you, Newton, I can’t tell you,” Flubitus replied. “As it is, I never should have said anything in the first place. There are very serious reasons why…”

  Newton heard a buzzing in his ear, and then a mechanical voice began to spew out the professor’s thoughts. Newton felt his pulse get faster. He was about to get his question answered!

  Tuna’s dry today. I really need to get a jar of that purple mayonnaise that Professor Phlegm uses; he swears by it.

  Newton frowned. How could Flubitus be talking about one thing and be thinking about another? But one random thought after another kept spilling out of Flubitus’s mind.

  The other day poor Professor Wells asked me if butterflies existed in this dimension. Imagine that! A dimension with no butterflies? How sad.

  Come to think of it, I’d love to get a butterfly-patterned vest. Getting tired of these polka dots. Is there even a clothing shop on the island? Or did that shop open up in the future? I can’t keep track of what time line I’m in anymore.

  That’s a nice watch Newton’s wearing. The swirling lights are very pretty.

  Butterflies are pretty. Poor Wells. I thought being stuck in the past was bad, but I guess being stuck in two dimensions is worse. I’ll have to take him out to lunch one of these days. I wonder if he likes tuna.

  Newton tried to ask his question again. “Does this mean you’re never going to tell me who my relative is? Can’t you just give me a clue? Tell me something about them? Anything?”

  If I told Newton a clue, he’d be sure to figure it out. He’s a smart lad. Thank goodness for that. Do I have any chips in this drawer? Chips and tuna are a great combination.

  Wait a second. Is that a watch, or is that the mind-reading device that’s all the rage in the future? Are you trying to read my mind, Newton? Because that is—

  Skkkkccchhhhhh! Skkkkccchhhhh! Grrrrrgggggggggle! Skkkkrrrnnnnnnch! The device started to glitch.

  “See you later, Professor,” Newton said quickly, and he ran out of the room and took the winding stairs up to the cafeteria.

  He found Theremin, Shelly, and Higgy at their usual table.

  “Shelly and Theremin told me about your plan,” Higgy said. “Did it work?”

  Newton nodded. “The technology worked, but Flubitus’s mind was wandering all over the place, and then time ran out. But I’m going to ask Gustav if I can try again.”

  But as he said the words, Gustav walked up to him.

  “Newton, I need my mind reader back,” he said. “I just got a message from Mumtaz. She said she got wind of the watch, and mind-reading technology is banned at the school. Something about privacy laws.”

  Newton cringed. He was pretty sure Flubitus had reported seeing a mind-reading watch, and that was Newton’s fault.

  “Thanks, Gustav,” he said. Then he remembered something Flubitus had said. “But hold on to your research. I have a hunch that you and Maxima will make it happen one day and it’s going to be all the rage in the future!”

  Gustav grinned. “Thanks, Newton.”

  Newton sank into his chair and sighed.

  “Do you want to share my brussels sprouts casserole?” Higgy asked. “I smothered it in strawberry gelatin.”

  Newton shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

  “Don’t lose hope, Newton,” Theremin said. “We’ll find your family.”

  “How?” Newton asked. “We can’t do DNA tests. Flubitus won’t tell me who my relative is. It could be anyone!”

  “Well, I’ve got a theory,” Theremin said. “And I don’t think it could be just anyone. You have memories of being born in a pod. You have no memories of your actual family. And when you asked the portal pass to send you home, you stayed right here. Which maybe means that your true home—is Franken-Sci High.”

  Newton knew all of this. The portal pass had been a prize for winning the mad science fair. It allowed the school’s transportation portal to take you anywhere in the world. But when he’d asked the portal to bring him home, he had stayed put. At first he’d thought there was a glitch. But after Flubitus had arrived, it had seemed like Newton was tied to the school in some important way.

  “Maybe there’s somebody else here with a story like yours,” Theremin continued. “We can be like detectives on a secret mission, and interview other students to find out clues about their history. We can find out a lot with good old-fashioned detective work!”

  “Yes!” Shelly cried. “Like, maybe we’ll discover some other kid who doesn’t know who his or her family is. Or someone who grew up with an egg-like pod in the house.”

  “We can ask if they come from a place with a lot of amphibians,” Higgy teased. “You know, like from a swamp or a pond.”

  “Very funny,” Newton said. “But I like this idea. We can come up with a list of questions.” Then he paused. “This will take up a lot of time. Don’t you guys need to study for the trivia contest?”

  “We can do both,” Shelly promised.

  “Yes. This is important,” Higgy said.

  “Plus, I’m doing great at studying,” Theremin added. “I really feel like I have a chance this year.”

  Newton smiled at his friends. “I wish all of you could win.”

  “As much as I want those encyclopedias, I do think Theremin has a good chance,” Higgy said. “Unless…”

  “Unless what?” Theremin asked.

  “Unless Mimi cheats,” Shelly said.

  “No, I’m not worried about her,” Higgy said. “Mimi’s smart, but she’ll try to cheat, and that never works out for her. But Odifin is taking this whole thing way too seriously. He spends all his time in the library, studying. And today he actually corrected Professor Phlegm! And Odifin was right! It’s like he’s getting smarter.”

  “No problem. It’ll be his soggy brain cells up against my quick-firing circuits,” Theremin said confidently. “Odifin Pinkwad doesn’t stand a chance of winning the Brilliant Brains Trivia Competition!”

  CHAPTER 5 The Latest in Bluegoo Technology

  “I told you, there are only two weeks until the competition, Rotwang,” Odifin said. “I need to connect to the brains in the Brain Bank every spare minute!”

  “But you woke me up at five o’clock this morning, and I’m tired,” Rotwang complained.

  “I don’t see why you’re tired,” Odifin replied. “I’m the one doing all the studying. All you do is play with those virtual reality goggles of yours. Which is annoying, because sometimes when I need you, I can’t rouse you from whatever silly thing you’re doing.”

  “I go to the virtual zoo,” Rotwang sai
d. “I like the virtual reptile house.”

  “Well, do it on your own time!” Odifin snapped.

  “I don’t have any time of my own,” Rotwang replied. “We’re always in the Brain Bank! And according to the Mad Scientist–Assistant Treaty of 1897, I’m supposed to get one hour of free time every day.”

  “You’re also supposed to call me ‘Master,’ ” Odifin shot back. “But you don’t always do that, do you?”

  Rotwang scowled. “No.”

  “No, what?” Odifin said.

  “No… Master,” Rotwang replied.

  “Now let’s get going,” Odifin said. “I want to try to download information from at least two brains tonight. At this rate I’ll never get enough information to win the contest!”

  “You’ve already downloaded information from, like, twenty brains,” Rotwang remarked. “Isn’t that enough? It almost looks like you’re getting bigger.”

  “That’s exactly what I need to happen,” Odifin said. “The bigger I am, the more knowledge I can hold! But I wouldn’t expect your puny brain to comprehend that.”

  He rolled away, and Rotwang followed him. It was after dinner, and only a few of the most studious students were in the library. The Brain Bank was deserted, except for Odifin, Rotwang, and the brains. Odifin made quick progress. Rotwang hooked Odifin up to one brain and then another, and eventually Odifin was ready to connect to a third brain. It was the brain of Selena Luciano, who had perfected a method of communicating with plants.

  Odifin was eager to download all of Selena Luciano’s knowledge as quickly as possible.

  Ciao! Selena said. It’s the boy on wheels! How nice I’ve been hoping you’d stop by for a chat.

  Since this was his third brain in a row, he’d stopped with any pleasantries.

  “Just a simple download, please,” Odifin said. “Neuron to neuron.”

  Mamma mia, you’re just like every other student in this school, Selena complained. Nobody ever wants to chat.

  “Download. Please,” Odifin said, emotionless.