We could hear a rustling below, and then we heard noise as something ascended, the ladder wildly undulating.
“Helen?”
Helen’s face emerged into the stream of Freddy’s flashlight, and I was struck by her pallor. When Freddy lent her a hand and pulled her up onto the landing, I noticed she was shaking.
“Helen, are you okay?”
Slowly she shook her head and closed her eyes. For a moment I thought she might faint.
“Did you fall? What happened?”
“A body,” she said, and stumbled. “There’s a dead body down there.” A deep retching noise came from her belly. Her hand flew to her mouth, and she choked it back down.
“What?” Freddy gasped, holding a hand to her heart. “No. It can’t be a body. Your mind’s playing tricks on you.”
“It’s a person. It’s all decayed. Oh my God, we have to get out of here. We have to tell the police.”
“No, it’s the pot,” Freddy said, standing tall, smoothing down her skirt.
Color flushed back into Helen’s face in strange patches, and tears came quickly to her eyes. “I know what I saw. You guys don’t believe me, go down and look.”
So we did, all except Pigeon, who didn’t want to look gullible. We followed Helen down the ladder to the bottom of a pit. Nothing, not even the smell that preceded it, could have prepared me for the scene we found below. It was badly decomposed, wet and black in parts, stringy and dry in others. It had hair and teeth, but not much else aside from bones.
“This can’t be real,” Freddy said, but we all knew it was.
I was numb from my knees down. Helen fought back tears, and Freddy shook her head as if her mere refusal could change the tableau.
“This can’t be happening,” she said, shaking.
I stifled a scream that threatened to rise.
“Everyone just be cool,” Helen said, her voice now low and controlled.
“It really is a person, right? It’s a girl,” Freddy said, her voice quavering. She was rocking back and forth, clutching her shoulders.
“I think we should leave,” Helen said.
“Yeah,” I muttered, feeling dizzy.
“Oh my God. Oh holy shit.” Freddy was grabbing my arm a little too tightly. And then her eyes widened, and her lips curled back in terror. “There’s something on the wall.”
“On the wall?” Helen whispered, and moved toward the other side of the cavern, lifting her flashlight. As she neared, we could see chalk drawings emerge.
My brain had nearly as much difficulty interpreting the image as my eyes had extracting it, but soon what appeared to be random blue lines coalesced to form a massive blue creature with swirling blue scales, horrible eyes, and a head like a scythe. I found myself stepping away from it before I realized I was doing so.
“Is that … is that a dragon?” Helen gasped.
“Oh God,” I heard myself cry.
“Let’s get out of here,” Helen said calmly. “Let’s go right now. Go.”
And we did. We climbed back up the ladder as quickly as we could, each of us just barely resisting the urge to push, and when we reached the top, Pigeon was waiting for us with a wry smile.
“While you guys were, like, body hunting or whatever, I ate all the Nutella.”
Helen took her firmly by the arm. “Listen, Pidge, there really is a dead body down there. We have to leave right now. No questions, okay? Grab your stuff and go.”
Eyes wide, uncertain for a moment, Pigeon slowly nodded and then did as Helen asked. No one spoke until we reached the gap in the chain-link fence and were safely on campus.
“Is someone going to tell me what’s going on? You were making that up to freak me out, right?” Pigeon’s eyes were red and puffy. I hadn’t noticed her crying on the hike down, but she must have been.
“Don’t tell her,” Freddy said, looking vaguely threatening as she smoothed her apricot hair, her fingers shaking as she grasped at the strands.
“It’s all true. We found a dead body,” Helen said.
“You’re not joking?” Pigeon asked, her voice, for once, relatively quiet.
“I wish I were.”
“Oh my God. We have to call the police,” Pigeon said, and started off in her pink Uggs to do just that.
“Wait a minute! Wait a minute!” Freddy said, waving her hands in front of her face as if she were being attacked by a swarm of insects. “We can’t do that!”
Pigeon wheeled around, her eyes wide and incredulous. “Why can’t we do that?”
Freddy was calmer now, more in control. “Listen, we have to wait. It’s been up there God knows how long. A few more days won’t hurt. We have to figure out a way to make it so we don’t get in trouble. I’ll call it in anonymously. But we’ll wait a week in case someone notices we weren’t around today. We don’t want to link ourselves to this.”
“No,” I said, horrified. “We can’t just leave her up there. We have to call it in. That girl’s got a family. They need to know where she is. We need to report it.”
“So you’re okay getting arrested, then?” Freddy asked. “Because they’ll find out what we did up there, they will. And last time I checked, drugs were illegal. Do you want to get kicked out of school? Do you want to go to jail?”
“No, but smoking pot is a little different from concealing a body,” I said. “And I don’t want to freak anybody out here, but how do we know that dead body isn’t Iris? What if it’s her? I mean, think about it. Helen, will you please talk some sense into her?”
But Helen looked strange, faraway, as if she was trying to figure out the solution to an entirely different problem. Then she came back to us and looked at me squarely, soberly.
“It’s not Iris,” she said. “Trust me. It’s not her.”
“Okay,” I said. “So even if it’s not Iris … it’s still a person, and someone is looking for her. They need to know where she is.”
Freddy pulled herself up to her full height and stared down at me. “I don’t think you understand. I have early acceptance to Harvard. If I’m linked to any of this, Harvard will rescind. I didn’t apply anywhere else. My whole life will be ruined for what? So a body that’s been dead for months can be found a few days ahead of when it would be if we followed my plan? That girl is dead. A week’s not going to change that.”
“What if someone finds her before then?” Helen asked.
“Freddy,” I said, stepping away from her as if turpitude were contagious. “I’m going to call it in myself.”
“It’s not like I don’t want her found. I just want some time. Just a few days.” She turned to me. “Please, I know you think I’m being a selfish bitch, but I need you to help me. I’m not some monster. I’ll make sure they find her, and her family will know as soon as possible. But you have to understand, a few days won’t change things for the body up there, but they will change things for me. They could ruin my entire life. Please, I’m begging you. Please don’t do anything.”
With a slump of my shoulders, I yielded, broken by Freddy’s desperate eyes and by that tightness around her mouth, marked there by years of strain and perfection. I knew I couldn’t call it in. Keeping silent went against my better moral judgment, but I had no way of knowing whether Freddy was right about the possible repercussions. She was probably just being histrionic, but what if it was true? What if the call really could ruin her life? I couldn’t be responsible for destroying Freddy’s future.
“Fine,” I said. “But I want you to know that I think it’s wrong.”
She grabbed my hands. “Thank you. I owe you.”
I shook her off and started back toward campus. As I walked, I found Clare weighing heavily on me. Drawing instant connections between the body and my sister’s disappearance was tempting, but I knew it was also probably the road to madness. I needed to emotionally separate the two events. I knew the body couldn’t have been her. She was too old to be my sister. But she was someone, wasn’t she? She must have been som
eone’s Clare. A cold wind was kicking up, and the afternoon sky was growing a bluish shade of gray. For a moment I had the distinct sensation that the world was closing in around me.
That night Helen and I did our homework in silence and we passed white glove just fine, but once the lights were out, the silence in the room seemed overwhelming.
“Cally?” she said.
I sat up in my bed, trying to make out her figure in the darkness. It was disconcerting not to be able to see her face as she spoke.
“I told Noel,” she said, a defiant note to her voice. “I told Noel about the girl we found. Freddy’s going to kill me, I know, but she’s my sister. I had to tell her.”
“Freddy can piss off,” I said, and then Helen laughed.
“Thanks. I knew you’d understand.”
“Helen,” I said, my breath catching. “What if it’s Iris?”
“Iris,” she sighed. Her name hung heavy between us.
“Yeah.”
“No.” She attempted a laugh. “I told you I’m sure. It’s not Iris. Iris ran away. Look,” she said after a moment, her voice strong and soothing. “That thing up there in the woods is not Iris. It can’t be.”
“Okay,” I said. My eyes were adjusting to the darkness, and I could just make out the pencil smudges of her features. “But then why don’t you think anyone’s found her yet?”
“I don’t know,” Helen said, her voice strained. “Honestly, I know I lived with the girl, but I didn’t know her. She was erratic. She made stuff up, and you never knew what to believe. I couldn’t stand her.”
“The night she disappeared, you guys had a party, right?”
“Yeah, but Iris didn’t come.”
“Were you guys really drunk?”
“Well, I was drunk. Noel had a bad cold, so she went to bed early.”
“Yeah, but I just mean, were you too drunk to remember who was there? Like, to remember who stayed there all night?”
“Whoa, Cally, where is this headed? No, never mind. I think I know, and I don’t want to go on this little journey with you where you, what, check everyone’s alibi? It’s not Iris. Iris isn’t dead.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Well,” she said, laughing, forcing a light tone into her voice. “You’ll be pleased to know that Noel and I both have alibis. It was our party, after all, and Pidge was up there, and Brody too, so you don’t have to worry about any of us.”
“Oh my God.” I laughed. “I was not asking you for an alibi.”
“Oh shit, Cally, what about your friend Sophie?”
“What?”
“Well, she was on campus. There was a math competition the next day. So by your very excellent methodology, she might be guilty of this murder of yours that was never committed.”
“Would you quit it?”
“Gladly,” she said, an airy lilt to her voice. “I’m going to have nightmares as it is. New topic: do you want to take a weekend to my house?”
“We have a long weekend coming up?”
“Yeah. It should be a good time.”
“Sure,” I said. “I didn’t know that your parents were gonna be in town again.”
“Yeah.” She laughed and rolled over to go to sleep.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but I couldn’t stop seeing the body, feeling my own scream welling up in my chest once again. I choked it back and tried to take my mind away from the body, out of the cave, through the trees, past the pond with its blue-green water and neon fiddleheads, out through the underbrush and moss, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to find my way out of the woods.
CHAPTER SIX
THE WEEK WENT BY QUICKLY. None of us mentioned the body, and sometimes during quiet moments, I could almost pretend none of it had happened. Friday morning at breakfast, I stood in the dining hall, dribbling honey over my Cheerios, trying to make sense of my life, when the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Alex Reese had just walked in.
“We meet again.” He smiled.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I said. Seeing him was like breathing deeply next to a eucalyptus tree, and I couldn’t keep from grinning.
“Wow. I haven’t seen you smile like that before.”
“I’m happy to see you, I guess.”
“Glad to see you too. Hey, are you headed over to the twins’ again this weekend?”
“Yeah. How’d you know that?”
“I’m omnivorous, Wood.”
“I think you mean omniscient.”
“Yeah, thanks. I know what omniscient means. I meant omnivorous.” He winked and then he was gone. I looked down to find that once again I’d ruined my Cheerios.
By the time the afternoon rolled around, I was more than ready to get off campus.
This time there were no parents at the lake house. Noel acted as hostess, indicating the food she had purchased for the weekend, baguettes and various fruits and soft cheeses, apparently the rich man’s soda and chips. She said we’d order pizza for dinner, and then we all decided to take a nap. I wasn’t really tired, but I did feel like having some quiet time to myself, so I grabbed my detective novel, went up to my room, and sank into my downy blue comforter.
It was dark when I awoke, and I was annoyed to see that it was already eleven-thirty. I hadn’t meant to sleep so long. I figured there wasn’t much point in getting up again, so I pulled the covers up to my nose and tried to drift off, but then my stomach grumbled, and I realized I’d need to eat something or else I’d have rotten dreams. I was creeping out of bed when I thought I heard something outside. I pulled back the curtain to see light from the kitchen window melting over the lawn and onto the gazebo. The house was silent and still, but someone had to be awake. Then I heard it again. A kind of a bump outside and then something like low voices. Maybe nothing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.
I opened the door and crept down the stairs. I thought I could hear noise coming from the kitchen, but it was faint. It could be the television, though I didn’t think the Slaters had one. I’d just reached the first-floor landing when I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye. A flash in the dark outside. But then it was gone. I moved into the loggia and crept along the thick houseplant jungle, pressing through the dark foliage toward the window. I put my hands to the glass and tried to see outside, but nothing was there. I turned, and only seconds after noticing a cool breeze on the back of my neck, I felt firm hands clamp around my throat, sharp nails digging into me. I was wrenched back and I landed on the hard, cold tile. Suddenly there were people laughing. I looked up to find Pigeon chortling at her own excellent sense of humor. Tanner stood beside her, and a moment later, Alex Reese, Brody, and Shane Derwitz strode up. As foolish as I felt, the smile Alex gave me more than made up for it.
“You okay?” he asked, and I nodded.
“Wood, you really got scared,” Pigeon said with her annoying lisp. “You need to see a therapist or something. Am I right?” she asked of no one in particular, and then she laughed loudly, her pointy chin tilted to the heavens as if to make certain that God had seen her fantastic joke.
Brody pulled me to my feet. “You didn’t know everyone was coming, did you?”
“No. Why are you all here?”
“Party,” Tanner sneered. “The Slaters’ parties are epic.”
So that was why Helen had laughed when I’d assumed her parents would be there, and that was why everyone had needed to take naps. Last check in the dorms was 11:00 p.m., so just like Alex and Brody had done on that first weekend, everyone had sneaked out at 11:02 and stolen through the little woods over to Helen’s for a raucous night of drinking and discombobulated sex.
More people arrived, and I began to get lost in the crowd of them. Grumbling to myself like an old crank, I started back up to my room, but then I remembered how Alex Reese had smiled at me, and I went to find Helen to ask if she could dress me up to look like a girl. Ten minutes later, I was swimming in a jade pe
asant dress, and she was applying mascara and lipstick to my flinching face. When she’d finished, I looked like a cat in a tutu, but she seemed pleased.
I didn’t think I could reuse the antibiotics excuse, so I grabbed a beer from the cooler, took a few sips so my breath would smell hopsy, spilled some more pretending to stumble on the patio, and then carried it around with me for the rest of the night.
I was talking to Drucy about drosophila when I noticed Alex Reese across the patio talking to Tanner. As I watched him smile, his dimples caving in on either side of his perfectly pouting lips, it became increasingly difficult to pay attention to Drucy. Finally she turned to see what was distracting me.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” was all she said. She rolled her eyes and walked away. I moved to follow her, hoping she wouldn’t think I was an idiot, but then I saw Alex approaching me.
“Wood! What’s up?” He smelled faintly of cinnamon. “Wow, you look really beautiful.”
“Uh, thanks,” I said. “I’m wearing a dress.” I held my arms away from my body as if to confirm the veracity of my statement.
“Yeah, I see that.” He laughed, and for some reason I started laughing too. Gently, he slipped his hand into mine, and we were walking, the cool night air buoying me up, making me feel invincible.
We were down toward the lake, away from the others, when I looked up at him and grinned. I was too happy to worry about looking stupid.
“You’re kind of great,” I said.
Abruptly, he stopped walking and stared at me with something approaching surprise.
“You’re kind of great too,” he said. Then he touched my cheek with the back of his hand and leaned down to kiss me.
We had stood there a good ten minutes just kissing, drowning in cinnamon and oxytocin, when a Nerf football bounced against the side of my head and I looked over to see Tanner, his hands clasped over his mouth. His shirt, the same ugly yellow as his hair, stood out against the night.
“Keep it safe, you guys,” he said, snickering, his voice high and nasal.
I straightened my dress and looked up at Alex. He shrugged. I hadn’t done much with boys before. I hadn’t wanted to. In my experience, the boys who were the cutest were usually also the most annoying, so I tended to bail out before much could happen. But Alex was different. I began to think maybe I did want to fool around with him, but I was too exhausted to know for sure.
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