‘No, you don’t, do you,’ he accepted disgustedly. ‘Not even my company when we aren’t in bed—so I’ll take myself out for the rest of the evening!’
‘It’s your home,’ she bit out. ‘I’ll leave. If it’s what you want.’
‘No—it isn’t what I want,’ he snapped. ‘After all, we’ll be going to bed together later!’ He strode angrily from the room, the front door banging seconds later.
Laurel turned shakily, instinctively moving to the window, wincing as the Jaguar kicked up stones from the driveway as it was over-accelerated. She had never seen Reece that angry before—he had looked capable of strangling her before he left so abruptly.
But she didn’t want the close intimacy he was trying to surround them with, wanted, as much as possible, to keep things impersonal between them. She had never realised how emotionally close you felt to someone once they became your lover. And after avoiding emotion in her life for fifteen years she didn’t want it intruding into her life now. But she did want Reece in her life, needed to feel his arms about her in the night, to know the possession that never failed to make her peak in sexual pleasure.
So what did that make her? What sort of woman was she who required a man to make love to her every night but leave her completely alone at all other times? Obviously the sort of woman Reece had decided he could no longer tolerate!
‘I did knock, but you didn’t seem to hear me,’ Amanda spoke lightly from the doorway.
She turned sharply, instantly on her guard. ‘Yes?’ she prompted abruptly.
‘Everything all right, love?’
Amanda and Robert had seen the way Reece left and knew they had argued! ‘Everything is fine,’ she dismissed coolly. ‘Reece—had to go out, that’s all.’ The steadiness of her gaze dared her mother to doubt that or to probe further.
Amanda came fully into the room. ‘Robert and I wondered if the two of you would like to dine with us tomorrow evening,’ she invited warmly.
They wanted to check that their offspring were getting along okay! ‘I’ll have to ask Reece, of course,’ she answered smoothly. ‘But I’m sure it will be all right with him.’
‘Good,’ her mother smiled her satisfaction. ‘We really should all sit down together and try to sort out the arrangements for the wedding.’
‘There’s no rush,’ she bit out tautly.
‘Well, of course there isn’t, darling,’ Amanda agreed smoothly. ‘But as you’re already living here…’
Her cheeks blushed fiery red. She had persuaded Reece not to mention the break-in at her flat to their parents, insisting there was no point in worrying them. Obviously Amanda and Robert had drawn their own conclusions about their living arrangements when no explanation had been forthcoming! ‘If you or Robert have any objections,’ she began tightly.
‘Of course we haven’t, Laurel,’ her mother instantly denied. ‘Good heavens, neither of you are children for us to preach morals to. However,’ she added firmly, ‘there really doesn’t seem to be any point in your waiting now. I’m sure you’re both too sensible to make any silly mistakes, but even so…’
She nodded curtly. ‘I’ll tell Reece about your dinner invitation,’ she said stiltedly. ‘I’m sure he will want to come,’ she effectively made known her own reluctance.
Her mother frowned. ‘Darling, I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but are you sure everything is all right between you and Reece? You seem very tense. You can talk to me, you know,’ she encouraged.
She would have laughed if it wouldn’t genuinely have surprised her mother that she should be so bitter about the past. Amanda had selfishly lived her life the way she wanted, caring nothing for the happiness of the child she carried along in her wake. She could no more talk to Amanda, about anything, than she could fall in love, knowing it had been her mother’s search for that elusive perfect love that had given Laurel all of her own unhappiness.
‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ she shrugged dismissively. ‘Now if you will excuse me, I have some accounts to do.’ Things had been so hectic at the shop today, clearing away so late, that she had brought her books home with her. Now that Reece was aware of the problem she was having paying her lease she would have to take great care in locking the books away in her briefcase tonight. ‘And I shouldn’t worry about our living arrangements—’
‘Laurel, we aren’t worried,’ Amanda protested. ‘I’m just excited at the prospect of helping you with the wedding arrangements.’
She stiffened. ‘I think you’re being a little premature.’
Her mother looked surprised. ‘Reece gave me the impression that he doesn’t approve of long engagements.’
‘When?’ she demanded icily.
Amanda blinked. ‘I—Well—Maybe I got the wrong idea,’ she shrugged lightly.
She was sure her mother had taken a generalisation on Reece’s part and applied it specifically to them. For all of the physical attraction between them Reece had agreed with her that the relationship would end one day. ‘I’m sure you did.’ She gave a cool inclination of her head. ‘Is seven-thirty all right for tomorrow?’ she deliberately put an end to the conversation.
Her mother looked disappointed. ‘Seven-thirty will be lovely,’ she nodded, leaving, as there seemed nothing else to say.
As far as Laurel was concerned she and Amanda had never had anything to say to each other, and she cursed the feelings of guilt that attacked her once her mother had left. Amanda had made her life, without thought for anyone but herself; it was too late for feelings of remorse or forgiveness.
She had done her cash books, tidied away from dinner, and was sitting up in bed reading a book when she heard Reece’s car outside. She made no effort to pretend to be asleep as he came into the bedroom.
‘The two of you look comfortable,’ he remarked softly.
She glanced down indulgently at the bear that lay next to her in the bed, Fred’s coat cleaner and glossier from the gentle wash she had given him, his ear and nose sewn on securely, the stitching of his mouth replaced. She usually sat him on the dressing table at night, although he lay between the pillows during the day. She had become fond of the tattered bear, she, who never became attached to anything.
She turned back to Reece; he looked tired as he sat down in the bedroom chair to slip off his shoes and straightened to pull off his tie. She wondered where he had spent the evening, but once again pride wouldn’t let her show any sign of weakness in curiosity.
‘Would you like some coffee?’ she offered distantly.
‘No, I…’ His gaze clashed with hers. ‘Yes,’ he slowly changed his mind, ‘I think I would.’
She climbed out of bed, wearing one of the new nightgowns she had purchased, all of her more intimate clothing replaced since Giles had broken into her flat and touched them all. She didn’t bother with her slippers or the robe that matched the gown, neither necessary in the fully carpeted, centrally heated home.
Reece followed her as she padded down to the kitchen, her movements sure and quick as she made the coffee, all the time aware of a brooding gold gaze on her.
‘It was the meal that started it, wasn’t it?’ he finally burst out.
She gave him a surprised look. ‘It wasn’t that bad.’
He gave the ghost of a smile at her attempt of humour. ‘I’m talking about the existence of it, not its culinary worth.’
‘We have to eat.’ She shrugged, carrying the tray of coffee back up to the bedroom as he would have taken it from her.
‘In a restaurant, or meals cooked by other people,’ he acknowledged, just behind her. ‘But when I cooked the meal it was just too domesticated.’
‘Is that what it was?’ She deliberately kept her mood light. ‘I thought it was a stew.’
‘Laurel—’
‘Cream and sugar?’ she asked briskly.
Reece scowled. ‘You know I don’t take either!’
She gave another shrug, handing him a steaming cup of black, unsweeten
ed coffee. ‘Careful,’ she warned. ‘It will be hot.’
‘I know that! Look, Laurel—’
‘Yes?’ She sat down on the side of the bed to drink her own coffee, crossing one knee over the other, knowing that the pale lilac gown suited her colouring perfectly. If Reece had expected to come home to an emotionally wrought woman he was disappointed!
His expression softened as he looked down at her. ‘We have to talk,’ he told her softly.
‘That seems to be everyone’s interest this evening.’ Her voice was brittle.
His gaze sharpened with interest. ‘Who else has been here tonight?’ he asked suspiciously.
‘Not Giles, if that’s what you’re thinking,’ she rasped. ‘I wouldn’t invite him into your home.’
He relaxed slightly. ‘Then who?’
‘Amanda,’ she told him flatly. ‘She and your father want us to go over for dinner tomorrow.’
He nodded. ‘And what else did she want to talk about?’ he probed.
‘Our living arrangements. The wedding,’ she announced airily. ‘Like when it’s going to be!’
Reece’s mouth tightened. ‘And what about our “living arrangements”?’ he grated.
‘Although Amanda denied it, I think she and your father are a little—worried, about them.’
‘Why?’
‘You’ll have to ask them.’ She replaced her cup on the tray. ‘I’m going back to bed now,’ she informed him distantly. ‘Good night.’
‘Laurel, we haven’t finished talking,’ he protested impatiently.
‘We don’t have anything else to say.’ She punched the pillow to make it more comfortable. ‘Unless you want to apologise for your behaviour earlier?’ She arched blonde brows at him.
‘Apologise?’ he repeated furiously. ‘You’re the one that’s using me, damn it!’
Her eyes frosted over. ‘Would you mind sleeping in your own room tonight?’ she requested with chilly calm. ‘I’ll move my things out tomorrow.’
‘You aren’t leaving me just because I’ve taken exception to being used,’ he warned.
‘I thought what we were doing was mutually using each other,’ she said icily.
‘You know it’s more to me than that.’ He shook his head.
‘You wanted me, Reece,’ she sighed. ‘And now you’ve had me. I have no intention of there ever being any more between us than that.’
‘But I have,’ His voice was dangerously soft. ‘I made the engagement a real one, I can just as easily make it into a marriage.’
Her mouth twisted. ‘Not unless you intend to carry me kicking and screaming into church!’
‘No,’ he sighed wearily. ‘I don’t intend doing that. Laurel, I only offered to help you earlier, you didn’t have to react the way that you did,’ he reasoned.
‘I am not about to accept monetary help from the man who is my lover!’ Her hands clutched the covers tightly to her.
Reece’s eyes softened at the description. ‘I just wanted to take that worried look out of your eyes,’ he explained softly. ‘I didn’t intend any insult behind the offer.’
‘Well, I took one,’ she said adamantly. ‘I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself—and my business.’
‘Darling, I don’t want to argue with you again,’ he grimaced, as that seemed to be what they were about to do. ‘I’ve just spent a miserable evening propping up a bar wondering where I went wrong, wondering whether or not you were going to be here when I got back, and if you were whether or not you would refuse to talk to me or just hit me over the head with the stew-pot!’
Relief flooded through her as he revealed where he had been all evening. She had thought… she had wondered if—God, she hadn’t dared to think how she would feel if he had revealed he had spent the evening with another woman! And she deliberately didn’t dwell on it now.
‘As you can see,’ she replied in a controlled voice, ‘I am here. I am talking to you. And I don’t have the stew-pot in my hand. However, I do want you to sleep in your own room tonight, and I will be moving out tomorrow.’
‘Where?’
‘I haven’t found another flat yet.’ To be truthful she had forgotten to look for one! ‘But I can always move into a hotel until I have.’
‘No,’ Reece stated firmly.
Her eyes widened. ‘What do you mean, no?’
‘Christmas is in two days time, and I have no intention of letting you spend it in a hotel!’
‘You—’
‘Please don’t lose your temper with me again,’ he cut in pleadingly. ‘I’ll accept that you no longer want me to sleep with you, I’ll even go back to my own bedroom like a good little boy,’ he grimaced. ‘But I want you to spend Christmas here. With me.’
She didn’t really want to go to a hotel either. But she didn’t know if she could stay here, either.
‘I won’t try to pry again,’ Reece sensed her weakening. ‘But if you do need someone to talk to I’ll be here.’
She chewed on her bottom lip, tempted, and yet not altogether trusting his easy acceptance of the termination of their sleeping together. But he looked earnest enough, and because she really didn’t want to spend the holiday in a hotel she decided she was just too suspicious. Reece was a gentleman, he wouldn’t try and force himself on her. ‘If you’re sure that arrangement can work out,’ she agreed hesitantly.
‘Laurel, I’m not going to come creeping back in here when you’re asleep,’ he chided her reluctance. ‘I do have some control.’
If he did she hadn’t seen any evidence of it the last few days—and nights. It seemed the merest glance could induce Reece to carry her off to bed, and she couldn’t help wondering if he would be able to keep his promise.
It hadn’t occurred to her that she would be the one who would find it difficult! But after two hours of turning about miserably in the bed trying to get comfortable she had to accept that she missed their making love, missed falling asleep in Reece’s arms. And she had a feeling Reece had known exactly how she would feel! But if he expected her to be ‘creeping into his bed while he was asleep’ he was in for a disappointment. In fact she was grateful to him for showing her how dependent she was becoming on him, hadn’t realised just how deeply she was becoming involved. She fell asleep safe in the knowledge that she had ended the affair before she became too enmeshed to escape.
Reece didn’t look as if he had slept at all the next morning, his eyes dark, his face pale, having no appetite for the toast and coffee she had prepared for him, giving her a terse goodbye before leaving for work.
He looked even worse by the time they joined their parents for dinner, and his mood was volcanic, ready to erupt at the least provocation. That provocation came from an unexpected quarter!
He had scowled and glowered at Amanda and Robert as they constantly touched and smiled at each other during dinner, and he sat in brooding silence as they all drank their coffee in the lounge afterwards. Laurel would probably have found his mood funny if she weren’t feeling so tense herself! If this was sexual tension then she had been better off before she experienced lovemaking or the terrible withdrawal symptoms!
‘Laurel,’ Amanda spoke lightly. ‘I know you said you didn’t want to discuss the wedding, but there is one thing I would like to say about it.’
She had stiffened warily, and she could see Reece’s mouth had tightened when she glanced at him. ‘Yes?’ she prompted.
‘Don’t you think it would be nice if Dan could come?’
The question, after years of not even mentioning Dan’s name, came as something of a shock to Laurel, and she stared at her mother as if she had never seen her before. Then she turned quickly to look at Reece, the furious glitter in his eyes telling her he didn’t appreciate Amanda’s mention of Dan either!
‘Dan?’ she guardedly repeated.
‘Yes,’ Amanda went on determinedly, not immune to the sudden tension in the room, but seeming intent on saying what she wanted to anyway. ‘The letter he put in
with his Christmas card said he had some holiday time coming up in February, and that he had thought of spending it in England.’
Laurel swallowed hard. ‘Dan wrote—to you?’ She didn’t even try to hide her incomperehension at him doing such a thing.
A shadow passed over her mother’s eyes. ‘He’s always written to me, Laurel,’ she said softly. ‘Just as I’ve always written back.’
She couldn’t believe it. Dan, her darling Dan, writing to the woman who had destroyed them, who had ripped them apart. It couldn’t be true!
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘I WANT to know how Dan figures in your life.’ Reece demanded as soon as they were alone, back in his wing of the house now.
Laurel felt so weary and let down she could hardly walk. She had managed to gloss over the awkwardness of the conversation about Dan by a non-committal answer, but had been grateful when Robert changed the subject completely, leaving her to her confusion and Reece to his brooding anger.
She was still trying to take in the fact that her mother and Dan had kept in touch all these years. She hadn’t believed such a thing possible, but how else could Amanda know of his plans to have a holiday over here?
‘Laurel.’ Reece was more in control now as he poured them both a drink, had refused a brandy at his father’s only a few minutes earlier, in his impatience to leave. ‘I want to know exactly what this Dan means to you.’ He faced her across the room as she sipped at the reviving alcohol.
Dan. Dan, with the wavy black hair and laughing blue eyes. Dan, whom she had always worshipped.
‘Who the hell is he that my father calmly sat there and took Amanda’s interest in him?’ he continued harshly. ‘The love in her voice when she spoke his name?’ he added disgustedly.
Laurel chose to ignore the latter, although she knew it was true, had heard that same emotion in her mother’s voice as she talked of Dan. But that Robert knew all about Dan she didn’t doubt; how else could there have been compassion rather than anger in his eyes as he looked at his wife?
‘If my wife had spoken of another man in that same way I would have killed him—and then her,’ he grated.
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