Àed turned his gaze down to the fire. “Keiren kept us both alive for a reason,” he began. “If that reason is only to use us against Finn, we will tell her everything, but if that reason is because she still has a heart under all that pride and spite, well, I intend to save her.”
Bedelia blinked down at him, utterly shocked. She supposed she was his daughter, but after she’d kept him nearly starving in a dark cell all this time . . .
He turned his gaze up to her. “Ye’ll understand someday, lass, if ye manage to live as long as I have, that villains are not born, they are created, and they can always learn to love again.” He slouched down to rest his elbows on his knees. “I know I did.”
She took a shaky breath, then nodded, though he didn’t seem to notice. His words echoing in her head, she walked around the fire to check on Sativola. Could there truly be hope for Keiren, and if so, did she want any part in saving her?
Finn lay in her bedroll, staring up at the starry night sky, enjoying the soft sound of Pixies snoring in the surrounding trees.
She liked the Pixies, and the Trow for that matter. They seemed so close to nature, not caring for the affairs of man or Faie beyond what affected them directly.
Still, she couldn’t understand why they had chosen her. Perhaps she was just a better choice than Oighear.
She pulled her bedding up to her chin, then turned her face to the side. Loinnir munched on dried grass just a few paces away, her constant guardian as of late. Was she the reason the Cavari had stayed away since their last encounter?
Footsteps crunched up behind her. “You should be resting,” Iseult muttered.
She turned to gaze up at him. “I thought Eywen and Anna were keeping watch.”
He crouched beside her. “That you are aware of who’s supposed to be on watch means you have not slept at all. You’re going to make yourself ill.”
Oh, Iseult, she thought, just when I grow used to your silence, you turn around and throw me off balance once again.
He sighed as she stared up at him, then crossed his legs to sit more comfortably. “We should reach Sormyr in three days,” he explained. “Perhaps then you will be able to rest.”
She shook her head. “It is not fear for my own safety, or even yours, that steals my rest.”
He watched her face, clearly waiting for her to go on.
She sighed, unable to think up the right words. How could she explain the uneasy feeling that had taken over her existence? She felt perhaps she never should have returned to the land of man, or maybe she never should have existed at all. Why had fate been so cruel as to make her Queen of the Dair, when she wanted nothing to do with her people? She would give anything to have been born into a normal life as a farmer or a seamstress.
Iseult reached forward and pushed a strand of hair out of her face.
“Why do you do that?” she questioned. “Why do you push me away, then do things like that?”
He let his hand fall back to his lap. “Sometimes you make me forget myself. I do not think before I act.”
She sighed. “Do you truly wish to know why I cannot sleep?”
He nodded.
“I cannot sleep,” she sighed, “because I fear the only way for this to end is for me to die.” She pulled a hand loose from her bedding and held it up before he could argue. “I think you and I both know I do not belong with any of you. I was born with a purpose so utterly . . . inhuman. A purpose I still do not fully understand.”
He didn’t argue with her, and instead waited for her to finish, his expression blank.
“I learned something when we saw the Cavari,” she continued. “I remembered the moment I became a tree. I took all of them with me. The Cavari slowly faded away because I put their magic to sleep. They were strong, so they lasted a while without me, but could not last indefinitely.”
He nodded, surprising her. “Eywen believes the same happened with the Faie when Oighear was laid to rest. They faded away. Some were given power by the Travelers, and so were trapped within the Blood Forest.”
“You knew?” she breathed. “You knew the Cavari returned because of me?”
He nodded. “Not initially, but I began to suspect that might be the case when they attacked Garenoch.”
“Then why haven’t you killed me?” she asked in disbelief. “You could have ended all of this before it began.”
“Perhaps if I had only just met you when my suspicions arose,” he began, “and if I had not sworn on my mother’s grave I would set things right. Then I might have tried to kill you. But my fight is not with the Cavari. Vengeance is an empty reward. I want to free my mother’s soul, and those of our ancestors.”
“Yet you will not let me do just that,” she muttered. “We should have figured it out when I first found the shroud.”
He shook his head. “As I’ve said before, I will not weaken myself. Not yet.”
“But what of your ancestors?” she pressed. “I saw them in the in-between. Perhaps even your mother was there. I cursed everyone of your lineage, so her soul must have gone there when she died. I could have—”
He held a finger to her lips to cut her off. “I would not forgive myself if you freed them, and it harmed you in some way. Perhaps my loyalty should be to my ancestors, but you are flesh and blood. You are here right now.”
“I stole their souls,” she repeated. She’d never truly gotten over that fact. She was more monstrous than Oighear or Keiren could ever hope to be.
“They stole your child,” he replied softly.
She shook her head. “That does not make it right.”
“No,” he agreed, “it simply is. It is painful to think about for us both, but it cannot be our primary concern. The Dark Faie hunt for you, as do the Cavari. You must not allow yourself to become distracted.”
“But I want nothing to do with any of it,” she whispered.
He smiled and shook his head. “I believe you were born for a reason. I also believe something like fate placed you in my path, just when I had nearly given up hope.”
She sniffled, then forced a small smile. “Perhaps fate hoped to punish you.”
He chuckled. “Perhaps, though if she did, she has failed miserably.”
Finn felt a measure of her tension melt away. She hadn’t even realized the magnitude of her guilt until she actually started talking about it. There was still more to face, like the guilt of her daughter’s death, but she was still not prepared to acknowledge so much.
At least now she had most of her friends back, and she silently vowed she would find the others. After that, she would atone for her crimes against Iseult’s people. If he could bravely face his past and move forward, then so could she.
He sat with her until she finally fell asleep, not speaking, but his presence alone was enough.
Kai stared up at the stars, unable to rest. Though he was glad to be back with Finn and Anna, memories of the Dearg Due haunted him. Were Sativola and Bedelia currently in the same situation he had been, or were they simply dead? Kai hadn’t been overly close to Bedelia, and though he’d known Sativola a long time, they weren’t truly friends, but the loss still stung. It just as easily could have been any of them.
He reached a hand up out of his bedroll to touch his neck. The bite had healed into a thick mound of scar tissue, hidden by his hair.
He hadn’t told Anna or anyone else about the bite, though he wasn’t sure why. Upon hearing his tale, Finn had decided the Dearg Due refrained from biting him since he had Dair blood within him, and the creatures wanted to keep him alive.
Most had seemed to buy the story, but Eywen had been eyeing him speculatively ever since. The Aos Sí had cleansed Anna’s bite with fresh running water, and Kai couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened to her had Eywen not been around, and if the same thing might still happen to him.
He flashed on the horrifying evening the Dearg Due forced her blood down his throat, gagging at the memory. The blood had healed him, but what e
lse had it done?
He tugged his bedroll up and forced his eyes shut. Iseult and Finn had stopped conversing nearby, though he still sat beside her. Something was different between the pair. Iseult was still as sulky as ever, and Finn watched him like he might bite her at any moment. Perhaps they’d had a fight.
Iseult did tend to inspire them.
One of the Pixies in the tree over head began muttering in its sleep. He could not make out the words, but it was rather . . . cute.
He never thought he would actually find any of the Faie cute, but perhaps that was part of their defense. Lull their enemies into a false sense of ease right before shoving needles through their eyeballs.
Suddenly feeling like he didn’t want his eyes looking straight up at the sky anymore, he turned on his side. He could see the campfire not far off, illuminating Anna and Eywen, taking first watch. Beyond them rested the other three Aos Sí.
Anna’s affinity for Eywen was even more strange to Kai than his own ability to find some of the Faie endearing.
He sighed and forced his eyes shut, but couldn’t help feeling that Finn would soon turn the entire land on its head. If humans could befriend Faie, and magic users could live out in the open without hiding their powers, anything was possible.
Chapter Eighteen
Anna woke the next morning to a cacophony of tiny voices. She peeled her eyelids open to watch dozens of vibrant little creatures flitting about overhead. It seemed the Pixie ranks had quadrupled overnight.
She sat up, then almost screamed. The surrounding woods were alive with magic, shining so brightly it gave her an instant headache.
She began to scramble out of her bedroll, desperate to stand, then froze as a pallid hand lowered down in front of her. She gulped, then looked up to see Eywen standing over her.
She took his hand, allowing him to help her up. She was glad he didn’t shine as brightly as the other Faie.
Now that she was in a position to run if she needed to, she narrowed her gaze to look past the dizzying array of Pixies. In the shadows she spotted creatures the size of small children scurrying about, some covered in bushy hair, and others with scales or craggy skin.
“Where did they all come from?” she breathed, fighting the slight tremble threatening to overtake her body.
Eywen chuckled beside her. “Word that the Oaken Queen has made treaties with two of the Faie races has spread. They will continue to come, if only to escape the Snow Queen.”
Anna lifted a hand to her brow and shook her head. “How are we supposed to get into Sormyr will all these Faie flocking to Finn?”
He snorted. “She can try to send them all on errands, but she’ll be hard pressed to keep them away entirely. They are safest when they are near her.”
Anna frowned, unable to take her eyes off the scampering Faie. “Perhaps it’s time for me to go elsewhere,” she muttered. Eywen she could handle, but this . . . it was all too much.
She turned to find Eywen watching her intently.
“What?” she questioned before whipping her gaze back to the surrounding Faie.
“She needs you,” he explained. He gestured behind them. “She needs each of you.”
She followed his gesture to see Kai and Iseult attempting to calm a very excited Finn. Eywen’s three remaining warriors stood behind them, glaring at the nearby Faie as if they might attack any moment. More Faie flitted about behind them.
Anna shook her head, then trained her eye on the nearest Faie. “She practically has an army now. I’d venture to say she needs none of us, except perhaps Iseult.”
Eywen sighed. “You and your friends are the only connection she has left to humanity. She was once . . . ” he trailed off. He glanced over his shoulder at Finn, then back to Anna. “I never met her. She was merely a child when Oighear signed the treaty to limit her powers, but I’ve heard the stories. She was a member of Clan Cavari, feared by all. Her grief propelled her toward horrible deeds.” He glanced at her again. “Looking at her now, I cannot imagine her doing any of those things, and I believe it is due to those she met in this land upon her return.”
Anna pursed her lips, then moved a step closer to Eywen as one of the Trow hobbled a little too close to where she was standing. “So you’re saying we make her . . . human?”
“In a way,” he replied. “At the very least, you give her a reason to show compassion. She cares about each of you. I believe that caring will shape the type of queen she becomes.”
“Well,” Anna began, trying to calm herself, though every nerve ending in her body was telling her to run, “I suppose even with the Faie coming in droves, the safest place for any of us is around Finn. At least with her nearby, the Faie aren’t likely to eat us.”
“That is true,” Eywen agreed with a playful smirk, “at least for most of us.”
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Anna to hurry after him lest she be left alone in the woods suddenly filled with magic.
Finn couldn’t believe her eyes. What in the gods was she supposed to do with all these Faie? She’d already sent Pixies toward Garenoch and Sormyr. The first were to scout from a distance, just to ensure Ealasaid and Maarav had not run into trouble. She didn’t want the Pixies to venture too close to Ealasaid’s magic users, only to be mistaken for enemies and attacked. The second group were to assess the state of things in Sormyr. If it had been ruined like Migris, there was no point in venturing there. Really, now that she knew Àed was no longer on the island, there was no point in venturing to Sormyr at all, except to hide from the Cavari.
She stroked her chin in thought as Kai and Iseult continued to pack up camp. Eywen was marching toward her with Anna at his heels. They would be ready to leave soon, and she needed to make a decision.
Eywen reached her, greeting her with a deep bow. “What is our next task, my queen?”
Finn blushed, glancing past him to Anna, who supplied her with a teasing grin.
“Honestly,” Finn began, “I do not know. I do not want to continue the journey toward Sormyr, only to find it ruined. We’d lose too much time, especially since all we really need there are supplies.”
“South are the marshes,” Iseult explained as he approached. “Just small villages surrounded by expanses of dangerous swampland. We’ll find little there.”
She nodded, wanting to ask Iseult what he thought she should do, only she wasn’t sure if queens should show such weakness of mind in front of their subjects.
Oh well. “What would you suggest?” she asked. “How much time would we lose venturing to Sormyr for supplies?”
He glanced at the surrounding Faie, quieter now as they began to settle in to their new surroundings, then looked back to her. “Three to four there with our current lack of horses,” he began. “I suppose our choice depends on what you would like to do now that we no longer need a ship. We could return to Garenoch, but I think it wise we first procure information on our enemy’s whereabouts.”
She sighed. “Which enemy?”
Iseult glanced at Eywen, then back to her.
Catching his meaning, she nodded. They might have decided to trust Eywen, but they still did not need to discuss the Cavari in front of him, lest the information trickle back to Oighear.
Not seeming to take offense, Eywen stepped forward. “If I might make a suggestion?”
Finn nodded, grateful for the help.
“There is an ancient fortress just west of here,” he explained. “It is small, but we could wait there for the Pixies to return from their scouting missions. With our numbers growing so quickly, we could easily fortify the area against further attacks.”
Finn reflexively looked to Iseult, then forced her gaze away, internally chastising herself. Could she make no decisions on her own?
She gazed at the surrounding Faie instead, weighing her options. She knew another attack from the Dearg Due was likely, now that they’d lost both her and Kai, and running hadn’t worked terribly well last time. The unknown fates of Be
delia and Sativola still weighed on her. She didn’t want to lose anyone else.
She turned back to Eywen. “That seems a sound plan. We will travel there immediately.”
“Finn,” Iseult interrupted. “Are you sure remaining in one place is the best course of action? If Kai can be tracked again, we will be far from civilization and the relative safety it might offer.”
She frowned. “But our numbers are greater now,” she gestured out at the Faie. “I imagine they will provide us with as much, if not more safety than a human city. In a human city, we would not be able to benefit from the protection they might offer.”
He flicked his gaze to the Faie, his expression giving away nothing as he turned back toward her. “I do not agree,” he said simply.
Kai approached with Loinnir and Eywen’s horse, reins in hand, all supplies neatly strapped to their backs. “I for one would not mind delaying our arrival to Sormyr.”
Iseult glared at him, but Kai stood his ground. Finn knew Kai had good reasons for not wanting to return to the city of his birth, reasons Iseult was not aware of . . . not that it would change Iseult’s opinion.
“It’s settled then,” Eywen decided. “I will send my remaining men to scout the fortress and clear it of any dangers.”
Finn turned her worried gaze to Iseult as Eywen retreated. He moved to her side. Seeming to catch the hint, Kai and Anna ambled away together, granting them space.
“I hope you know what you are doing,” Iseult muttered. “The lesser Faie may not stand against the Cavari. They feared them during the Faie War.”
She nodded. “I do not expect them to. I only hope they can ward away the Dearg Due and other Dark Faie. I must face the Cavari on my own.”
He looked down to meet her gaze. “If it weren’t for Loinnir—” he began, but she shook her head.
“I know,” she agreed. “And I do fear them. They are a force to be reckoned with . . . but so am I.”
A shiver went up her spine. She could only hope her words would prove true. She was terrified of facing her people once more, but if Iseult could face his past, and stand up to fight for what he believed in, so could she.
Queen of Wands (The Tree of Ages Series Book 4) Page 23
