Outside the waves’ muted thunder sounded on the shore. Through the darkened glass behind Rolfe, Capri could see the moon, paler and smaller now, looking cold and distant.
‘That’s when you moved out of our room?’
‘I slept in the spare room that night, and the next day you’d moved all my things. It was a clear enough hint. I was pretty fed up myself, and I certainly wasn’t going to come begging…I suppose both of us had our pride.’
‘You said that we used to…’ She felt warmth in her face.
‘I know.’ He looked briefly at the ceiling. ‘I lied by implication. What I told you about us making love on the beach…you seducing me in my study…it was true of the early days of our marriage, Capri.’
But not for the latter months. Was that why she’d turned to Gabriel, feeling spurned by her husband? Although obviously the fault hadn’t been all on his side.
‘I didn’t want to have to tell you all this,’ Rolfe said. ‘When you woke in the hospital and looked at me it was—as I already told you—like the first time we met. I know it’s been horrible for you, but I’ve had this feeling that your losing your memory has somehow wiped the slate clean, given us a fresh start—a unique opportunity to do it right this time. And I want that, Capri. I want it very much. These past few weeks I’ve found myself falling in love with you all over again. And… sometimes I’ve felt that it’s the same for you.’
‘Yes.’ She admitted it freely. Each day she’d felt the gradual unfurling of the love she must once have felt for him, growing stronger and more certain until now it was in full flower. ‘I’m afraid I’ve not been a very good wife in the past…’
‘Don’t say that.’ He crossed the room and pulled her to her feet. ‘We’ve both made mistakes. I expected too much of you, thinking you were a lot more mature and self-sufficient than you actually were. And for years I’d been tied up with my business, not accustomed to thinking of anyone but myself in my personal life. You called me self-centred and arrogant when we quarrelled, and there’s probably some truth in that.’ He looked at her frankly. ‘Believe me, I want to do better in future. I’ve told you about the difficult times, when things went wrong, but at first we were happy. You were beautiful and sexy and often funny. And with a sort of street-smart charm that no man could resist. I always loved your laughter. And your occasional moments of childlike naivety, that you seem to have grown out of since the accident, used to surprise me and made me feel tender and protective. I suppose I still felt that way, in spite of my exasperation and disappointment, when I sent a private detective after you to Australia.’
‘When you…what?’
‘I was worried.’ She supposed she’d sounded accusing, because he looked slightly discomfited. ‘I needed to know you were safe.’
Capri swallowed, a nasty prickling feeling inching along her spine. ‘You knew where I was all the time?’
‘It wasn’t a spying mission, I just wanted to be sure you were all right. He told me you’d travelled around, been to the Northern Territory, looking up official records, and then travelled south. In Adelaide you had several meetings with an older woman and you looked very happy.’
‘Still…’
‘I understand how you feel. But I felt an obligation to take care of you. I called the detective off when I got that report, guessing you’d found what you were looking for, and knowing you were all right.’
Her mother? She felt a stirring of curiosity but put it aside. This discussion was about Rolfe and herself—their relationship. ‘You thought I’d left you.’
‘Thea drove you to the airport in your car. She was the one who let me know where you’d gone…And she certainly gained the impression you had no intention of returning. But then, we’d quarrelled the night before and you were still angry with me. I wasn’t even sure if she was telling the truth about where you were.’
‘That was cruel,’ she said, ‘leaving without a word. I don’t know how I could have done that.’
‘Never mind.’ He held her hands in his. ‘It’s all behind us now. Let’s concentrate on the future.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed. Should she mention Gabriel? Did a new start demand that this too should be brought out in the open?
But as she hesitated Rolfe said, ‘You’re tired. It’s been a long day, and a fairly stressful one.’ He drew her closer. ‘If I promise to restrain my animal impulses, you might kiss me goodnight, though.’
She lifted her face to him, and he bent and fitted his mouth with great care over hers. One hand slid into her hair as his lips moved in an almost teasing caress. Then he let her go. ‘Thank you, Capri. Sleep well.’
She was enormously tired. Lately she hadn’t been sleeping all that well, her dreams too often filled with confusing images of darkness and fear that left her with a lingering unease but no clear memory of what they’d been about.
Perhaps emotional exhaustion helped her to stave off the nightmares, because for once she woke refreshed and with a feeling of well-being and anticipation, and no memory of any dreams at all.
Capri supposed her relationship with Rolfe after that could have been called a passionate friendship. She cherished the companionship of their walks, their quiet evenings together. And while he touched her often, and kissed her with frank sensuality, Rolfe seemed to have determined on a gradual, tantalising seduction. Sometimes when he’d brought her to fever pitch he’d withdraw quite suddenly, his eyes gleaming, his cheekbones darkened by a heavy flush, and then he’d give her a hard kiss on her mouth and let her go, with a strange tight smile on his mouth. At times she even wondered if he was bent on some subtle revenge for the frustration she had caused him. But then the smile would change to one that was tender and humorous, and he’d lightly touch her cheek. her hair, and murmur, ‘All in good time, my sweet.’ Or, ‘Don’t look so bothered, darling. We have a whole lifetime for this.’
Every day she felt they were growing closer, that soon the barriers would all come down.
She wanted that to happen. Yet there was a tensile joy in this deliberate waiting. And a kind of emotional assurance in knowing that he was willing to let her come to him in her own time, that he wouldn’t force the pace.
‘Do you know what next Saturday is?’ Rolfe asked her as they said goodnight one evening. His hands were on her waist, lightly holding her.
‘Next Saturday?’ She shook her head blankly.
‘The anniversary of our first meeting. I have tickets for the Auckland concert of the Irish dance troupe you liked so much on television. You can dress up for an evening out.’
‘Oh, that’s nice! I’d love to see them.’
‘I knew you would.’ On Friday night he came home bearing flowers, a huge mixed bouquet of colours and fragrances, extravagant enough to fill three vases. And on Saturday she spent all afternoon grooming herself and washing and fluffing out her hair, finally dressing in a thin knit gown of silver-threaded sea-green silk that clung to her like a second skin, dipped between her breasts, and showed an expanse of bare thigh through a side slit when she walked. The matching high-heeled shoes made her legs look impossibly long, and she fastened a fine silver chain about her right ankle, emphasising its slimness.
Her courage nearly failed her when she looked in the mirror at her siren-like appearance, but the light in Rolfe’s eyes when he saw her made her heart hammer with primitive feminine triumph. She knew very well the outfit was sending an unmistakable message, and all night as she sat beside him, his warm thigh pressing against hers, his hand imprisoning her own, she felt the sexual energy emanating from him. And knew that she was giving off answering vibes, her body shimmering with wanting him.
The dances were spectacular and energetic, with everincreasing, insistent rhythms. At the climax the barechested male star and the sweet innocent female one circled and beat their feet and stared into each other’s eyes with erotic fascination. When they finally embraced, the woman’s lissom body dramatically, gracefully curved over the man’s sup
portive arm, Rolfe’s hand tightened almost painfully on Capri’s, and she didn’t dare glance at him, the blood in her body beating in time to the wild but disciplined finale of the massed dancers on stage.
Afterwards Rolfe walked her to the car in silence, and drove home fast, the headlights stabbing through the night, his hands clenched hard on the wheel.
They had hardly got inside, the door shutting softly behind them, when he said, his voice hoarse with effort, his breath lifting her hair, ‘Capri, if you don’t sleep with me tonight, I think I’ll go insane.’
It was dark. They hadn’t switched on any lights. Without turning, she said nearly inaudibly, ‘I want to.’
Rolfe’s arms came around her. His mouth warmed her temple. ‘Is that a yes?’
Her hands on the sleeves of his jacket, Capri leaned back, glorying in his strength, and in the shudder that passed through his body. ‘Yes.’
She felt the huge breath that he hauled into his lungs and then let out. ‘Oh, thank God!’
She was picked up and carried through the darkness, and he kicked open the door of her room and slammed it again with his foot.
The curtains were open, the stars falling through the sky outside, and in the distance faint moving glimmers of white split the black satin of the sea. He put her on her feet by the bed and held her close and kissed her, long and passionate and sweet. His hands moulded her bare shoulders and drifted down her back and opened the zip, his fingers caressing her spine. Then he released her mouth, and carefully lifted the dress away from her shoulders, slid it down her arms and let it pool at her feet. It wasn’t a dress that she could wear with a bra, and she made an instinctive move to cover her breasts, but stopped herself and instead lifted her hands to push his jacket off.
Rolfe smiled and helped her, before he wrenched off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt while she stepped out of her shoes. Then she took his wrists and whispered, ‘Let me.’
She undid the cuffs, fumbling a little, and then turned her attention to the front of the shirt, flipping each button open. He put his hands on her hips just above the scanty bikini briefs she wore, and brought her closer so that she felt the hardness of his arousal, and heat coursed through all her bones.
She eased the shirt from his shoulders, letting her hands glide down his arms, and he momentarily released his hold on her to get rid of the garment.
‘You have beautiful breasts,’ he told her, and ran his hands up over her waist to touch them, making her close her eyes, her head going back as she drew in a sharp breath of pleasure. ‘You’re beautiful all over.’
She opened her eyes, found his blazing with need. ‘So are you.’
Her hands fumbled at his belt, and he gave a short laugh and said, ‘Wait.’
He sat on the bed to tug off his shoes and socks, and then lay back, pulling her on top of him. ‘Okay, now you can have your wicked way with me.’
But he made it difficult by holding her under her arms and kissing her breasts as she lay above him, finally taking one eager tip into his mouth, setting up sensations so overwhelining that she moaned and involuntailly moved, pressing her body down on his.
Rolfe’s mouth left her, and he gave a gasping grunt and flipped her over onto her back, then briefly released her to shuck off the rest of his clothing.
Capri found herself shivering with anticipation, with half-understood need. ‘Rolfe—’ She groped for him m the darkness, a shadowy, bulky male form.
‘I’m here. I never want to be anywhere else.’ He settled alongside her, skin to skin, and began a teasing, erotic survey of her body with the tips of his fingers, lighting tiny fires all over her. He kissed her, and she returned the kiss fervently, still shivering.
‘Are you cold?’ he asked, making to pull the cover over them.
‘No. No, not cold…I don’t know. Nervous, I guess,’ she confessed. ‘But don’t stop!’ as his fingers stilled. ‘Don’t stop. It’s just…I suppose it’s like the first time. Because I can’t remember any other…’
‘I don’t think I could stop,’ Rolfe said soberly. ‘I want you so much I think I’ll die if I have to wait another day.’
‘I feel the same,’ she told him, reaching for him, touching him in turn, rather shyly. ‘I feel as if I’ve waited all my life for this.’
‘My darling girl! Don’t be afraid, there’s no need. I’ll make this good for you.’ He leaned over her and kissed her again, on her mouth, and then her breasts, her belly, thighs, and after he’d gently removed the last flimsy barrier she sighed as he breathed in her scent and kissed her even more intimately.
She was shaking, out of her mind with pleasure, and with knowing that he too was approaching the edge, passionately returning his kisses, her hands exploring him, her body pressing against his until he eased himself over her and smoothed the tumbled hair back from her face and she cried out to him with fierce wanting, ‘Now! Oh, please…I want you now!’
They were past tenderness, and her cry galvanised him to a potent, silent answer. She was clutching at him, her eyes demanding his response, her body waiting, ready, yearning for him. She saw his eyes light with an answering fire, and then felt him touch her, hard and hot and seeking entry, and she opened to him fearlessly, every nerve on tenterhooks, wanting him as she knew she’d never wanted anything in her entire life.
He slid into her, deep and sure and commanding—and instantly her body was seared with shocking, tearing pain, her throat ripped by an unwilling scream. She opened her eyes wide with panic, but everything was black, her head buzzing, and her eyelids fluttered closed again as she slid into swirling darkness.
‘Capri? My God, what happened? Capri?’
She was cold, her senses swimming, the aftermath of pain still aching deep inside her. Her eyes were tightly shut against it.
‘Capri!’ She felt Rolfe’s hands on her shoulders, and then they were gone and she heard the rasp of the curtains being pulled across.
Light struck her eyes and she flinched. He’d turned on the bedside lamp.
‘I hurt you,’ he was saying, and she felt the bed depress beside her, his hand on her thigh. ‘I’m so sorry, darling! It never occurred to me that after all this time it might not be easy for you.’
She opened her eyes, disoriented and dizzy, and found him looking stricken, white-faced, his eyes anxious. ‘It’s all right,’ she managed to murmur. ‘Not your fault.’
‘I should have been more careful. God, I’m sorry!’
‘I know.’ She tried to think, to frame words. This was a nightmare. ‘I…’ She fumbled for the sheet, wanting to cover herself.
He saw what she was trying to do, and bent to gather the bedclothes for her, then suddenly went utterly still, staring down at her bare thighs. ‘Capri…when was your last period?’
‘A week ago.’ She blinked, attempted to grab the sheet from him, but he wouldn’t let go. His cheeks gaunt, his already pale skin turning sallow, he said hoarsely, ‘Those damned doctors missed something after the accident! Did they ever give you an internal examination?’
‘I don’t think so. It wasn’t necessary. Rolfe—’
A curse exploded from his lips. ‘There’s something wrong. I’ll call Sarah.’
He dropped the sheet over her and grabbed the bedside phone.
‘No!’ she said. ‘Rolfe—’
‘We need a doctor!’ He began stabbing at the buttons.
‘No, Rolfe, we—I don’t.’ She winced, leaning over to stop him, cutting the connection. ‘Put it down.’
He wrenched the receiver away. ‘You don’t understand, darling,’ he said agitatedly. ‘You’re bleeding!’
She swallowed. ‘I know.’ Stubbornly she gripped his wrist. ‘There’s a reason for that.’
‘Of course there’s a reason—and we need to find out what it is! It can’t be normal.’
‘But it is!’ she insisted, against the unreal sensations that bombarded her. She had a peculiar feeling that she was floating somewhere in a s
trange space, and her voice didn’t seem to belong to her. ‘It’s perfectly normal, Rolfe, in the…circumstances.’
‘What circumstances?’ he asked impatiently, glancing up from trying to dial through again. ‘There can’t be—’
She held his eyes, willing him to listen. To believe the unbelievable. ‘You don’t understand, Rolfe. I’m…I was…a virgin.’
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ROLFE didn’t move for a long, long second. His hand dropped, still clutching the phone. ‘For God’s sake, Capri, you were my wife for two years—and we’ve been sleeping together longer than that!’ His eyes narrowed, blazed. ‘You weren’t a virgin when we met, let alone when you left me! What the hell are you trying to pull now?’
She supposed she should have expected anger. He’d been wrenched from desire to disaster and was totally at sea. ‘I’m not—I never did try to cheat you, Rolfe. Not in any way.’ She plucked at the sheet, trying to cover her breasts, acutely conscious of her nakedness, and of his. ‘Please,’ she said huskily, ‘put down the phone and let me explain. I promise you I don’t need medical attention. But I would like to get some clothes on. And I think you should too.’
Slowly he replaced the receiver and stood up, staring at her as if he’d never seen her before, while his expression changed from baffled anger to appalled comprehension and then stunned disbelief.
He turned and picked up his discarded clothes, glanced at her once more, and strode through the bathroom to his own bedroom.
She got up, shivering, and found some tissues to wipe her thighs. Clumsily she hunted for and pulled on a pair of panties and an enveloping towelling robe, tying the belt tightly. The air temperature was too warm for such a heavy garment but the cosy fabric was somehow comforting. She’d have liked a shower, but didn’t want to run into Rolfe in the bathroom.
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