by Naomi Niles
I kept waking up during the middle of the night with nightmares of me screwing up during the casting call. Stumbling in my high heels, tripping over my words and looking like a flat out idiot. I grabbed another shirt and held it up. Moments later, I rolled my eyes and dropped it into the pile of clothes on the closet floor.
Forget it, I thought, as I sighed and crawled back into my bed and blanketed myself with covers. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this work. Hell, I couldn’t even pick out something to wear without trembling with thoughts of a disastrous audition. Just then, Carrie knocked on my door and invited herself in. “Um, Hannah? Why are you still asleep? Do you know what time it is?”
I spoke from beneath the covers, “Yes, I know what time it is, and I am not going.”
“Not going?” She plopped down next to me on the bed. “What are you talking about? Why not? Are you dying?”
“No.”
“Do you have a fever?” She tugged at the covers, but I held them firmly in place.
“No. I’m just not going. I’m not cut out for this.”
She exhaled. “Oh, my God, Hannah. This again? Listen. You are going to that audition if I have to pull you out of this bed and drag you there myself. You are,” she tugged at the cover until she was able to yank it out of my grasp. “You are not going to keep doing this, OK? I don’t know what the disconnect is between what I see and what you feel, but it has to stop. Hannah,” she looked me right into my eyes as I sat with my arms folded over my chest and my bottom lip poked out.
“You are the most talented actress I know, and on top of that, you are fine. Drop-dead gorgeous. Even with your morning breath and everything.” I slapped her on her arm as she laughed. “I am serious. If I was a guy, I’d smash. No question.”
She always had a way of making me smile, even when I didn’t want to. “You sound crazy right now, Carrie.”
“No. What sounds crazy is you missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime just because you are doubting yourself. You don’t see eagles around here saying, ‘uh, I wonder if I can fly? I mean, I have wings but deeeer, I don’t know.’ Do you?”
“Eagles can’t talk, Carrie.”
She grabbed a pillow and smacked me in the face. “Stop being dumb, Hannah! You know what?” She got up, walked to the closet, and scanned through my clothing. I could hear hangers smashing into each other as she pushed them across the rack. Suddenly, she tossed a dress out onto the bed. “There. You will wear that. It will show off your ladies, and at the same time, you can have the men, or whomever else, salivating over your legs. I mean, you don’t have a big ass or anything, but you got enough to grab someone’s attention.”
I pressed my back against the headboard and shook my head. “I am not going.”
She walked out of the closet with her hands on her hips, her arms shaped like the handle of a teapot. “Yes, you are, Carrie.” Her nightgown hung open down the middle, exposing the small pouch on her stomach. “Now, you are going to get your stinky behind in the shower and get dressed. Then, we are going out for breakfast, and right after that, I am taking you to the audition.”
“Carrie–”
“You better get ready, and I am not playing. Or else I am going to give Robert your number and tell him you want a date.”
My mouth hung open. “You wouldn’t.”
She moved her lips to the side and raised one eyebrow above the other. “Try me.”
I wasn’t in the mood to test her. She was known to do outlandish things for the sake of proving me wrong, so I knew her threat was more of a promise than anything else. After a brief stare-off, I threw the covers off the bed. “Fine, Carrie. I’ll go. And you’re paying for breakfast.”
“That’s fine…” she walked to my door. “Because I don’t have my half of the rent.” She slammed it shut before I could respond.
“Carrie! Carrie! Ugh!”
After I had got dressed, we headed to the pancake house not far from where my audition was last week. She sat across from me, dressed in sweatpants and a white T-shirt. She wasn’t one to put on her best attire on a daily basis, but even so, guys would still approach her. I felt out of place with my black dress. It was cut low in the front and stopped just beneath my ass. I kept adjusting the top to make sure my breasts weren’t going to pop out.
Carrie smacked my hand, “Girl, leave them alone!”
“I’m trying! It feels like one of them will pop out any moment!”
“Let it! Shoot, hopefully, it happens during the audition.” I lowered my eyes at her as she placed her phone on the table. “What? You don’t know what this movie is about?”
“Sort of,” I said as a couple walked by our table, escorted by a hostess. The man walked behind his wife, stealing a glance at my chest on the way. I rolled my eyes, adjusted my dress again, and continued speaking to her. “I know it’s a love story or something.”
“A love story?” she laughed. “Um, yeah, that is one way it could be classified. Buuut, I think–”
“Here you go, ladies,” our waiter said as he placed our food on the table. “One short stack for you, and another short stack for you with a side of eggs and bacon.” He put his hands together as he smiled. “Is there anything else I can get for you two?”
“No,” I responded. “We are good.”
“Excellent. Well, if you need anything, just flag me down. Otherwise, I’ll be back to check on you two soon.”
“Thank you.” As he walked away, Carrie drenched her pancakes in syrup until it covered the bottom of the plate. “What were you saying about the movie, Carrie?”
“Huh? Oh, um, yeah, it’s a love story. I’ll just leave it at that.”
“No. Tell me what else you were going to say.”
She took a bite of her pancakes. “Ummmm, my goodness, Hannah. These are soooo good. I forgot how good this place was. I haven’t been here in ages. Good choice, sweetie.”
“Carrie!”
“Fine. It is a love story. About a man and a woman. And they love each other. A lot. And they show it. Over… and over...and over...and over,” she smirked as she chewed her food. “And over…and over–”
“Wait, is this one of those freaky-ass books? Like, porn with words?”
“No, not really. I mean, it has those parts in it.” She grabbed the syrup and poured more onto her pancakes. “But it really is a love story. Seriously. You should read the book.” I sat in my chair as she went to town on her food. A part of me wanted to snatch the keys out of her purse and make a run for the exit, but I knew I wouldn’t get far in this tight-ass dress. “Hannah, eat your food. You don’t want your stomach growling while you’re in the audition. They might think you are passing gas. That will be embarrassing.” She covered her mouth as she laughed at the thought, but I wasn’t amused.
After we finished our food and made for the exit, I saw the guy from my last audition. “Brian?” I asked as he walked through the door.
“Hey, Hannah, right?”
“Yeah. How is it going?”
He leaned in for a hug as I extended him the courtesy. He wrapped his arms around me tightly for a few moments before we released each other. “It is going well. Just stopped in to get a bite to eat before I head to another day of auditions.”
“How is that going?”
“Dragging along, as usual.” He looked to the side. “And who is this?”
“This is my friend, Carrie.”
He extended his hand to greet her, “Hi, Carrie. Nice to meet you.”
“Same to you, Brian.”
“So,” he said, turning his attention back towards me. “Where are you headed dressed that, um, attractive? That looks like another audition outfit.”
I sighed. “Yeah. I have an audition for that movie called Satin Sheets.”
He wrinkled his eyebrows, then smiled, “Oh, right! That sex book that they are turning into a movie.”
I glared at Carrie, then looked back towards him. “Yeah. That one.”
“We
ll, look. You definitely have the look, and like I said before, just be yourself. Be that woman that I spoke to in the hallway and I am sure you will blow them away. Without a doubt. You have the total package. Seriously.”
I smiled as Carrie nudged my arm. “Thank you, Brian.”
“Absolutely. I’m expecting to see you starring in that movie whenever it comes out. I expect you to be the female lead and nothing less.”
“Hopefully, I will.”
He looked directly into my eyes. A sea of brown exuding with passion. “You will.” A smile suddenly flashed across his face, “But I need to get going. I ordered my food to go, and I don’t want to be late. Kent, ‘the asshole,' will have apoplexy if I am.”
“All right. It was good talking to you, Brian.”
“Good luck.”
As we walked to the car, Carrie scrunched her face. “Apoplexy? What in the hell is apoplexy?”
“I don’t know, and I didn’t want to ask since he assumed I did.”
“Good point,” she said as she unlocked the door. “What can’t both look like idiots.”
We laughed as we got into her car and headed to my audition. It was 10:26 am when she drove me to the front door. We sat in front of the building, watching different women walk through the doors, dressed in little to nothing on their way in. I shook my head as I looked at them as I felt Carrie’s hand on my leg. “Don’t worry about them, girl. You got this. Just be yourself. That’s all I keep telling you. Once you step into your own character and personality, you will woo them over. You are the complete package. Trust me.”
I looked at her as she scrolled through her phone. Suddenly, her face lit up. “I got it! Apoplexy means a stroke or a sudden fit of rage.” She lowered her phone as she smiled. “Wow. I’ve learned a new word, and I’m going to use it as many times as I can so I can sound smarter. Apoplexy.”
I laughed and grabbed my purse. “Whatever, girl. You are crazy.”
As I got out, she rolled down the passenger window and yelled, “Carrie, if you do not get this part, I am going to have apoplexy!”
“Shut up!” I said, smiling as I walked to the front door.
“Call me when you are done, and I’ll be back to pick you up. Be yourself!”
I repeated her words as I walked into the building and checked in. The women were scantily clad as they waited in the lobby. We all showed up early, so we had time to kill before the casting call started. I took one of the vacant seats near the middle of the room and exhaled. Be yourself, Hannah. Be yourself.
It took just over an hour before they called my name. I followed a young woman through a set of double doors and down a long hallway. “Glad you could come, Hannah. Do you have your portfolio?”
“Yes,” I said as I pulled it from my purse and handed it to her. As we walked past a mirror, I could see my breasts move vigorously beneath my dress. I wanted to stick my hand inside and reposition them, but I knew I would draw her attention.
“Excellent. This looks good. Now, are you comfortable being naked in front of a camera?” I immediately thought back to Carrie’s photo shoot. Her question rang out in my mind: “if they paid you enough, would you get naked in front of a camera?” Without thinking twice, I answered her, “Yeah, that is fine. I have no problem with it.”
“Great.” She placed my portfolio beneath her arm and opened the door. “Go right in.”
I walked into a small room with two men and one woman seated in the front of the room behind a table. One of the men looked young. He had a 5 o’clock shadow with sky blue eyes and a sexy ass chest. His white T-shirt accented his pectorals as he removed his glasses. His hair was cut short, and as he looked in my direction, I tried not to stare.
“Hello, Hannah Black,” another of the gentlemen beside him said. “My name is Leonard Chariway. I am the director of the movie, and this is another writer of our script, Monica Chambers.”
“Hello, beautiful people. Thank you for having me.” I blocked out my nervousness and allowed the real Hannah to shine. A smile radiated from my lips as he fixed my attention on the man who was yet to be identified.
“And this is Ezra,” Leonard said. “He is the male lead for the movie. What we want to do is see how he interacts with his possible co-star. So,” he placed a small stack of papers on his table. “I want you to read a few lines with him. We just want to see if there is any connection between you two, you know? It is best to identify that right away and go from there.”
“Absolutely,” I said as I walked to the front of the room to grab the paper. From the side of my eye, I could see Ezra scanning my body. I smiled as I grabbed the stack of papers, making sure that my breasts moved freely beneath my dress.
Just then, Ezra got up and walked towards me, extending his hand. “Ezra,” he said with a gentle smile.
“Yes, I know. Leonard just told me that.”
“Yeah, but… I wanted to introduce myself to you personally.” His cologne floated around me like a cloud as he stood a few inches away.
I delicately placed my hand in his. “Well, hello Ezra, for the second time.” I released him and glanced down at the script.
“We want you to pick up on scene 4. I’ll set it up. You two have just ended an intense argument, and the make-up sex is just a heartbeat away.”
I steeled myself as his words floated into my mind. A nervous Hannah would have cringed, but I felt I had control of myself, so I was able to flow with it. “All right, Leonard. I’ve got it.” I winked at Ezra and then whispered to him, brushing my cleavage across his chest, “I hope you can keep up with me. I tend to move kind of fast.”
“Well, I hope you know how to drive a stick… shift,” he responded with a sensual tone.
“Hey, save it for the audition,” Leonard said, interrupting us.
We walked to our positions front and center, and moments later, Leonard clapped his hands. “All right, action.”
I took a deep breath and began, “Damn it, Johnathan! I am sick of your shit! Every time I come to your job, I see the same bitch hovering around your desk!” I turned my back to him.
He exhaled. “Sarah, how many times do I have to tell you, she is just friendly. Besides that, she is my boss, so she has to be around to give me the information I need.”
“Uh, hello?” I said, spinning back around with an attitude. “Email? Hasn’t she heard of that before?”
“Yeah, but you know how things can be misinterpreted through emails.”
“Yeah. Like how she wants you to lick her pussy before you shove your dick inside of it.”
I quickly memorized the next few, short lines and threw the papers down for a dramatic effect. Ezra gently grabbed hold of my arm, “Baby, baby. Why are you letting that come between us?”
I yanked away from him; my breasts nearly flinging out of my dress. “No, YOU are letting that woman come between us, Johnathan. And I am sick of it! What happens next? You have to explain why she is coming out of our home while I was away at work during the day?”
He laughed and grabbed me again, pulling me closer to him. My backside was pressed firmly into his crotch as he wrapped his arms around me and spoke directly into my ear. I felt his breath on the back of my neck and in that moment, I wanted him to move closer so I could feel his lips on my skin. It had been so long since a man had held me this close in this way, and from there, I had a hard time differentiating between fantasy and reality. “Baby, she will never step foot in our home.”
He turned me around. His hands were still wrapped around my waist as he pulled me closer. “This is your castle, and you are my queen. I don’t care what she says to me or what she does. Or what it looks like. You are my Queen, and my dick,” he smiled, “is not going anywhere else but inside your vagina. Period.”
I looked away from him, still not convinced. I wasn’t sure if it was in the script, but I wanted to lure his lips onto mine. “I am?” I said as I turned towards him, my breasts planted firmly between us. He took his hand and ran i
t through my hair. With his other hand, he grabbed the side of my face and pulled me closer. My heartbeat sped up, thumping inside of my chest like footsteps of a small army. I pulled my bottom lip inside of my mouth, coating it with a thin layer of saliva as he smiled in my face.
He leaned into me as his other hand grabbed the opposite cheek. His lips were moments away, and as I closed my eyes, Leonard yelled, “All right, cut! Wow. That was just… wow.” His words deflated my passion as Ezra released me and took a step back. I glanced down at his crotch. I knew I felt a bulge, I said to myself as I kneeled to grab the script I threw to the ground.
Leonard clapped his hands, and in seconds, the casting director followed suit. “Wow. I mean, Robert told me that you were special, but that? That chemistry. The way you made me believe that you were upset and in moments, you were ready to, for lack of a better word, jump his bones. That was marvelous! We can go home. I don’t want anybody else for the part, and I don’t care who else is out there. The goddamned Queen of England could be auditioning for this part,” he leaned over to his casting director. “She isn’t out there, is she?”
“No, she isn’t.”
“Well, the goddamned Queen of England could be out there auditioning for this part, and I would tell her to fly her ass back to England because we have our Queen right here! The part is yours! Will you accept?”
“I um–”
“Of course, you will! Why else would you have come if you didn’t want the part!”
Ezra smiled and shook my hand. “I look forward to working with you, Hannah,” he said with a rugged smile.
“Yes,” I said as I tried to catch my breath from the wave of emotions clouding my mind. “Yes, I am looking forward to working you as well.” I slapped my head. “I mean, working with you. Working with you… as well.”
