by Janet Dailey
As the trio joined the rest of the guests, J. D. Lassiter immediately excused himself from the couple he was with to come forward to greet the new arrivals. Julia appeared a few minutes later, carrying a replenished tray of her hors d’oeuvres.
For the next hour and a half, Tanya was occupied answering the doorbell, helping her mother-in-law arrange the food on the buffet table, later clearing the half-consumed dishes away, and chatting with the twenty-odd couples who were attending the party. It was something of a relief when Patrick appeared with a pair of drinks in his hands and ordered her to sit down on the cushioned redwood bench and relax.
‘I don’t know why the Old Man doesn’t have these affairs catered,’ Patrick declared, leaning against the rear cushion and trailing his arm along the back near enough to Tanya’s shoulders to cause a disturbance not revealed by her outward poise. ‘It would be much less work for you and Julia.’
‘But then the credit wouldn’t be Julia’s,’ Tanya sighed before grimacing ruefully. ‘That sounded catty! It’s true, though. If this party was catered, she would still be supervising every move. It’s her nature.’
‘What’s your nature?’ he asked softly, the look in his eyes shutting out the rest of the people chattering about them.
‘My nature?’ She paused, gazing out past the lanterns that lit the patio to the silvery trail of moonlight on the lake. ‘I would have probably invited a fourth as many people and cooked steaks on a grill.’
‘Invite me to your next party,’ Patrick smiled. ‘It sounds delightfully intimate.’
‘I will.’ Tanya had to look away from the hypnotic mouth so far away and yet so incredibly close. ‘It’s a lovely evening, isn’t it?#148;
‘Very,’ he replied, without taking his eyes off her. ‘That’s an excellent choice of music on the stereo.’
Tanya paused to listen, hearing the haunting strains of ’Unchained Melody’ filtering softly through the steady din of voices. The melancholy tune filled her with an aching desire to be held in the warmth of a man’s arms, if only for a little while.
‘How many eyebrows do you think we’d raise if we danced over in that empty corner by the speakers?’ Patrick asked, the dark brilliance of his sideways glance chasing over her face.
‘Probably everyone’s,’ she breathed, wondering if she had betrayed herself by look or word.
‘Let’s chance it,’ he suggested quietly, his hand reaching out to claim hers and draw her to her feet.
A magic spell seemed to be wrapped around them. Only Sheila looked their way, a knowing expression in her brown eyes. Tanya couldn’t remember the last time she had been held in a man’s arms or firmly wouldn’t remember as she willingly surrendered herself to Patrick’s guidance. He kept to simple steps that didn’t require much concentration, so Tanya was able to imprint the feel of his firm grip on her waist, holding her as close to him as propriety would permit.
The gentle caress of his breath against her hair made her want to lay her head against his chest, but she steeled herself against it, although she did allow her hand to creep a little further along his shoulders.
‘Tanya.’ The softness of his voice brought her chin up so that she was gazing into his tanned face, now dangerously close to hers. That delicious sensation of being held by a man had her face aglow, especially so since she was gazing into such a handsome face.
‘You’re so incredibly beautiful,’ he murmured. The ardent light in his eyes sent her heart tripping away. For one treacherously weak moment, she wanted to forget convention, but only for a moment.
‘Patrick, don’t say anything.’ A long finger reached out to touch the firm line of his mouth.
He captured it with his hand, pressing a kiss against the tip, then staring deep into her hazel-gold eyes. ‘I haven’t said a thing for over a year.’ Although his statement was quietly stated, the words were drawn through tightly clenched teeth. ‘But then I don’t have to say anything, do I? We’re adults. We don’t have to play games, do we?’
‘You mustn’t say anything,’ she replied, moving an inch or two away. She could see the argument to dispute her statement forming in the set of his jaw, no doubt intending to remind her that her marriage was only words on a piece of paper. ‘Please, it won’t do any good.’
‘Have dinner with me next week.’ His request was almost a plea as his gaze roved possessively over her face. ‘I’ll meet you anywhere you say.’
‘It’s … it’s not possible,’ she asserted weakly with a confused, negative shake of her head. Desperately she wanted him to sweep away her arguments with sure, masculine ardour, to be a knight slaying all the dragons.
A fragile stillness danced briefly between them. ‘Have I been wrong?’ Patrick asked grimly. ‘Aren’t you attracted to me?’
The song ended, the last dying note of the piano ringing mournfully in Tanya’s ears as she slipped out of his unresisting arms. She knew she should have sought the company of the other guests, but foolishly she didn’t want the hopeless conversation to end.
‘What woman wouldn’t be attracted to you?’ The lightness was forced and brittle. ‘You’re strong and handsome and unmarried — that’s a potent combination difficult for any woman to resist. I find you very attractive, Patrick,’ she said quietly, ‘which is why I won’t meet you outside the walls of this house.’
‘What kind of a hold does Lassiter have on you?’ he demanded harshly. ‘Why are you so afraid of a man you’ve seen only seven days out of seven years?’
They were standing in the small shadowed corner of the patio, among and yet apart from the other guests.
‘Jake has no hold over me.’ The cool mask stole over her face, the darkness increasing the marble quality of her complexion. Not even to Patrick, a man she was half in love with already, could Tanya confide the true reason for her loveless marriage. ‘My life is of my own making.’
‘And none of my business,’ he added, snapping a gold lighter to light his cigarette. ‘Not even if I want to make it mine?’
For so long, Tanya had stood figuratively alone without anyone but herself to lean on. And Patrick was so strong, so very strong. She pressed her lips tightly together to keep words of surrender from tumbling out.
His quiet persuasive voice came from near her shoulder, the distance between them lessened. ‘John needs a father, Tanya,’ striking at the vulnerable chink in her armour, ‘not someone who exists for him only in name as Jake does.’
‘You’re not playing fair,’ she accused in a voice that was shaking with anguish and self-doubt.
‘All is fair, Tanya?’
‘Excuse me, I have to go check on John.’ She hurried away from him, suddenly afraid she would give in to the temptation dangling so tantalizing in front of her.
As she approached the sliding glass doors, Julia Lassiter intercepted her. ‘We need some more ice at the bar. Would you bring it out, Tanya?’
‘I’ll get it,’ Patrick spoke up, a step or two behind the women. Tanya glanced at him quickly, surprised to find he had followed her. ’Tanya wants to check on John.’
‘Thank you, Patrick,’ the older woman smiled. ‘And give Johnny a goodnight kiss for me.’
‘I will, Julia,’ Tanya promised, hoping her inner agitation wasn’t showing.
Only one light cast a dim glow in the foyer and it was at the opposite end near the entrance door. Tanya turned to face Patrick as he closed the sliding glass door behind them.
‘There are bags of ice in the freezer,’ she told him quickly.
When she would have turned away, his hand reached out and stopped her, drawing her instead into a corner of the room to take her in his arms. Her lips moved to protest, but Patrick silenced them with a gentle, probing kiss that left her breathless and unable to speak. There was sweet ecstasy in the contented sigh that sprang from his lips when he disentangled it from hers, cradling her face in his hands so he could gaze into her dazed eyes.
‘Jake must be insane to leave you behind,’
he murmured.
‘Yes, I must be.’
With a horrified gasp, Tanya tore herself out of Patrick’s arms to stare in the direction from which the voice had come, its insolent arrogance immediately recognizable. Still she stared in disbelief at the man leaning so negligently in the living room archway, yet in total command of the situation.
‘You’ve been gone too long. She isn’t yours any longer, Lassiter,’ said Patrick in a voice that was deceptively soft.
There was no answering comment. Tanya watched with an unnamed fear paralysing her throat as Jake slowly straightened into an upright position, noticing for the first time the cigarette held in his hand. He moved out of the shadows of the arch to snuff it out in an ashtray, looking taller and broader than Tanya remembered.
He stopped where the light fully illuminated his aristocratic features. The dark tan of his skin made his blue eyes take on the colour of cold steel. ’Come here, Tanya,’ he ordered.
His compelling gaze held hers as she unconsciously closed the distance between them, too stunned by his sudden appearance to do anything else. Only two feet separated them when she stopped, her eyes examining his face, noting the changes that had been made in the four years since she had last seen him.
His face was leaner and more uncompromising than before. The softness of youth had been stamped out by the hard experiences of life, the lines in his face now exhibiting a harshness and unrelenting strength. Jake was still handsome, but now with more rugged overtones. The virile masculinity was the dominant factor in his attraction, that along with a world-weary cynicism.
His study of Tanya was just as thorough. ‘You can go now, Raines,’ he directed with mocking sarcasm, his gaze never leaving Tanya’s tilted head.
The sound of the glass door sliding shut released Tanya from the shock that had held her silent. Disdain glittered coldly in her eyes. ‘Nothing has changed,’ she stated, allowing her lip to curl with sarcasm.
‘You damn little bitch,’ he muttered savagely, reaching out to grasp her shoulders, his fingers digging through the fragile material of her dress. ‘I expect more of a welcome from my wife than that!’
He pulled her against his body until every muscular inch was pressed against her, evading, then capturing the fingers that would have clawed at his eyes, and twisted her arms behind her back. Brutally he covered her mouth that had moments before trembled under the sweetness of Patrick’s kiss. Her lips were ground against her teeth, the taste of blood in both their mouths. The iron band of his arms was crushing her into senselessness, bringing a reeling sensation to her tightly closed eyes. Tanya had no breath to struggle, however uselessly, as Jake continued taking his sadistic pleasure with her lips.
Then he let her go, derisive amusement in his eyes that he had conquered her so easily. ‘What’s the matter?’ he mocked, openly laughing at the burning fires of hate in her face as Tanya fought for the breath that had been denied her. ‘Wasn’t it as genteel as his?’
‘You pig!’ she spat, striking out with her hand at the sarcastic expression on his face and thoroughly enjoying the biting sting as her palm made contact with the hollow of his cheek.
With the swiftness of a striking cobra, he captured the guilty hand, turning her fingers into a painful ball of flesh, while his other hand grabbed a mass of her hair and twisted her stiff body against his.
‘I knew that sophistication was a pose,’ he sneered. ‘You’re the same untamed hellcat I brought into this house seven years ago.’
‘Let me go!’ she hissed, her eyes burning from the pain inflicted by his cruel tugging of her hair that forced her to look into his face.
‘Let her go, son.’ J. D. Lassiter’s quiet voice came from the patio doors.
One corner of Jake’s mouth curled contemptuously at the limp relief that caused Tanya to sag weakly against him, rescued at last, or so she thought, from her husband.
‘In a minute, Dad,’ he answered arrogantly. ‘I want to make sure my wife knows how good it is to be home.’ Mockery underlined every word.
His hold on her slackened. Her eyelids fluttered down as Tanya realized gratefully that she would soon be free from his inhuman treatment. Then, through the thickness of her lashes, she caught a glimpse of tobacco brown hair, the only warning she received before her lips were taken again. His mouth was sensually masterful. Tanya didn’t respond nor resist, jolted by the fire born inside her from the spark of his touch. The contact was brief, ending before she had recovered sufficiently to struggle free.
Anger flared immediately in her amber eyes, drawing a throaty, mocking chuckle from Jake. His finger lightly touched the tip of her nose.
‘That’s the way to welcome a man home, honey,’ he grinned, turning away from her before she could retaliate, to walk to his father. ‘It’s good to be back, Dad.’
Tanya watched the warm reunion between father and son, her body trembling with the violence of her emotions while her hands were clenched in useless fists at her side.
‘I can’t begin to say how glad I am to see you, Jake,’ J.D. declared fervently, their hands still clasped together in greeting. ‘You’ve come back none too soon.’
‘That thought has been driven home to me several times these last two days,’ Jake agreed cryptically, sliding a blue glance at the volatile expression on Tanya’s face. ‘And never more sharply than tonight.’
Her usually attractive mouth was set in a grim line, refusing to rise to his baiting reference to the scene he had witnessed between her and Patrick. That last kiss had made it evident that he hadn’t been living a celibate existence these last years, and his subtle criticism only put her temper on a shorter fuse.
‘Mother will be so happy to see you,’ the older man shook his head, chasing the last remnants of disbelief away as he continued to gaze into Jake’s face, drinking his fill like a thirsty man. ‘Damn this party!’ J.D.’s voice was choked with emotion. ‘I have a half a notion to send everyone home.’
‘And I thought you’d killed the fatted calf to welcome me back,’ Jake smiled.
‘I would have if I’d known,’ his father returned gruffly. ‘Did you know, Tanya?’ he asked, finally releasing Jake’s hand and turning towards the rigidly still girl. ‘Was this some present for our anniversary?’
For all the outward air of rejoicing in her father-in-law’s expression, Tanya saw the searching look he gave her, assuring himself that she was unharmed. Some of her anger faded as she remembered the firm reprimand J.D. had given when he had ordered his son to let her go.
The smile she gave him was tremulous but sincere in its warmth. ‘It was as much of a surprise to me as it was to you.’
‘That’s true, Dad.’ Jake’s eyes seemed to rest on her face with lazy indulgence, but Tanya saw the metallic hardness gleaming through and returned it with a glittering challenge. ‘Tanya was possibly even more surprised than you.’
Tanya wished in fuming silence that there was a way to end his double-edged comments without lowering herself to reply in kind. Sensing the electricity crackling invisibly in the air between them, J.D. walked over and put an affectionate arm around her shoulders.
‘Your wife is an absolute gem,’ he declared. ‘And that boy of yours — he keeps your mother and me both young.’ The glass doors to the patio slid open, averting the three pairs of eyes to the woman entering the house, and interrupting any caustic comment Jake might have made.
‘Hello, Mother,’ Jake said quietly.
Julia Lassiter brushed a hand in front of her eyes before letting it fall to the blue brocade bodice of her dress. ‘Jake?’ Her voice broke, as she took a hesitant step towards him.
‘I’m home. Happy anniversary.’ Then he was folding his arms around the happy, sobbing woman. Tanya’s blood ran cold as she glimpsed the tender, charming smile given to her mother-in-law, recalling too vividly the effect it had once had on her. ‘No more tears, Mother,’ Jake teased, lifting her quivering chin with his hand. ‘I don’t want them spoiling the face
of the most beautiful mother in the world.’
‘I’m so happy,’ Julia declared, smiling through the receding tears. ‘When did you get back? Did you know he was coming, J.D.?’
‘I had no idea, Mother.’
‘I didn’t let anyone know,’ Jake explained, planting a lingering kiss on his mother’s tear-stained cheek, ‘in case something happened that I couldn’t come.’
‘How long will you stay?’ Her glance bounced off Tanya, who guessed Julia was really wondering if she was going to drive Jake away again.
‘I don’t know for sure.’ A hint of harshness laced his voice.
‘Oh, Jake, please, you must —’
‘Now, now, Mother,’ J.D. placed a restraining hand on his wife’s shoulder, ‘we’ll save those discussions for another time. Let’s just be grateful he was able to come home.’
The trio of Lassiters seemed to huddle together, drawing a circle that put Tanya outside its circumference. She had always known she didn’t belong, that her presence was suffered only because of John. That was the way she wanted it, she told herself, asserting her independence with a proud lift of her chin.
With Julia monopolizing the conversation, Tanya slipped quietly from the foyer, walking quietly down the hallway to her bedroom, assuring her pride that she was only leaving to look in on John. But the instant the door closed behind her, she leaned against its firm support. The mirror on the opposite wall reflected the pallor in her face, and she had to admit that Jake’s unexpected arrival had taken a considerable toll on her nerves.
A clawing surge of loneliness rose up, threatening to tear out her insides. She closed her eyes against the aching emptiness that assailed her, opening them to see that her reflection had a self-deprecating smile on its face.
Only two weeks ago she had been sitting on a rock near the top of Dewey Bald Mountain. There, with the spring mating calls all around her, she had acknowledged her own growing longing for a mate, accepted that the never-satisfied restlessness consuming her was the desire for a man’s attention.
After seven years of abstaining from any form of caress, she had been kissed three times in one night by two different men. It would have been amusing if it wasn’t for the sickening knot in the pit of her stomach. Why was it that her lips remembered so vividly the provocative caress from Jake and so vaguely the sweetness of Patrick’s? Shame and self-disgust ate away at her. The desires of her flesh had made her so weak as to ignore the dictates of her mind and become aroused by the sensual kiss from a man she loathed. Tanya had always believed she exercised complete control over her senses. She had for seven years.
