by Cait Jarrod
“See, your sister understands we did what was best.” Mom rubbed Trina’s cheek and cupped her chin. “We did it for you, honey.”
Part of her wanted to trust them, yet Mom and Dad’s attitude toward the world outside of the rich and snobbish wasn’t anything to brag about. They would never treat everyone as equals.
Mom touched her knuckle. “We need to contact Cal. Your finger is missing a ring.”
She loved her parents so much. The idea she may not have gotten a chance to see them again hurt. But today ended their manipulation of her life. “Mom, I love you.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I love you, too.” Mom’s hands and body became animated, moving in different directions. “I can’t wait for you to finish rehab so we can start planning your wedding.”
Only Mom would start arranging a party when she’d just stirred from a coma; her mother’s way of coping.
As purple flowers popped into her mind, animals roaming in the distance, she sighed and excitement grew deep within. Maybe her mother was on to something. Thinking about a grander time had to help her recovery. “Sounds wonderful. I know the perfect place to be married.”
Bradley’s lips went flat. He hung his head. “If that’s what you want, Sis.”
“Oh, yes,” Mom slapped her hands together. “Was it by the stables, with the pond in the background? It’s the perfect setting.”
“You made your mother very happy, little girl,” Dad said, a huge grin on his face.
“Mountains,” she breathed, liking the idea more.
“Blue Ridge Mountains,” he said. “I’ll make it happen.”
“No. Not in Virginia, in Montana.” She touched the space beside her where Matt had laid. “I still feel him. He’s in Montana.” Ignoring the gasps from Mom and Dad, she turned her attention to Bradley. “Matt’s the one.”
The corners of Bradley’s mouth lifted, and his face brightened. “Going for what you want?”
“For once, yes. I am.”
“Good for you, Sis,” he said.
“Thank you,” she mouthed, since her throat clogged and stole her voice.
“What’s that?” Dad approached and patted her arm. “What are you going for?”
The confrontation with her parents should have happened years ago. “I heard you and Mom, the lies you told Matt. You’re the reason he’s not here.” She wanted to spit nails. “Face it, I don’t love Cal, never have, and I won’t be marrying him. Haven’t I, actually all of us” —she made a circular motion with her finger— “dealt with enough? Don’t you want me happy?”
Mom kissed her forehead. “Of course, we do.”
“Matt will make me happy.”
Mom gawped sheepishly at Dad. He nodded with the same defeatist look as her mother.
Finally, they understood!
After going on a fire call and working at his new business Divine, he was fatigued. He dropped into a chair on his front porch, breathed in the clean Montana air, and popped open a beer to drown the lonely ache looming over him. Travis had convinced him to purchase the parcel of land next to his. Once he did, his brother did a disappearing act, responding to search and rescue calls along with chasing forest fires across the Continental United States. The reasons he stayed gone had just as much to do with fighting fires as fighting loneliness. While Travis had all his limbs, he wasn’t in any better shape than him. They both suffered with that lost feeling as if they didn’t belong anywhere.
He scanned the acreage in front of him and the business he built to make his life complete by trusting it would deliver Trina to him. With each passing day, hope chipped away. The old saying—build it and she will come—stuck in his mind ever since Bradley surprised him by showing up in Montana months ago. Trina was alive and single!
The news came at the perfect time. He’d been so depressed, not knowing what he would do next with his life he seriously thought about selling everything and backpacking across Europe.
He’d wanted to rush to her, but Bradley said to give her time. When she was ready, she’d come to him. With so much time passing without a word, he wondered if she’d changed her mind. Did another parent-induced Cal cross her path?
He lifted his beer to his mouth and before he took a sip, he set the can on the table beside him. Since his binge drinking at the river, he promised himself he wouldn’t drown his sorrows and hadn’t partaken much.
Bradley hadn’t said much more about her recovery or what that entailed, but what he had said affected Matt tremendously and gave him something to live for, gave him purpose. Trina fought to find her way back. As he could attest, no one could be whole after a trauma. Without a doubt, Mr. and Mrs. Lovett had something to do with their daughter’s need for perfection. He would have argued the point with Bradley, but why bother? Sure, the Lovetts controlled their children, so much so they were destroying their lives, but more importantly, they loved them. For that, he had to understand. He didn’t have parents to argue with, to have them suffocate him with their opinions.
The goats in the pin locked horns and he chuckled. He may have built her dream, but her dream gave him life and gave families a magical place to escape. Trouble was the woman he hired to take care of the nursery when he had a fire call. She wanted to date. He’d even gone out once and had a beer with her and some other employees, but his heart wasn’t in it.
Too much had happened for him to want to hang out around bars or date different women for fun. One day, when the time was right, the right woman would appear. Deep down, so fucking deep that it hurt, he knew whomever he started to date and allowed himself to love could never know the truth about Trina.
Secrets destroyed a relationship. He hated them. A woman learning his business was inspired by his first love left a bad taste in his mouth. She’d get hurt and leave. How could she not? No one would ever compare to the girl who stole his breath, the girl who’d given him his first hard-on.
“Damn Trina,” he muttered, rested the back of his head against the chair, and closed his eyes. “Come back to me.”
“I wish you had let me keep you company.” Cadence’s voice came over the Bluetooth in Trina’s car.
No one could go with her to see Matt for the first time. Thanks to her brother, he kept Matt abreast of her recovery, but she couldn’t have Bradley or Cadence babysit her anymore. The rest was on her. She let Matt slip through her fingers one too many times, no more. She would tell him every dirty detail and explain her actions with no audience, just her and him.
As soon as she woke in the hospital, she wanted to call him, craved to hear his voice and tell him she was okay. She waited because she wanted him to see her walk on her own, without a catheter. He’d dealt with so much already. To contact him before the doctors cleared her from having any lingering side effects would have been selfish and mean. She still could have unforeseen health issues, but the probabilities grew slim as time passed.
What she thought would take a couple of months before she saw him, ended up being six; a lot longer than she’d hoped. Now, she was as close to perfect as she could be.
“To take a long drive alone to who knows what end, after everything you’ve been through, is too much,” Cadence said, cutting into her musings.
She chuckled through the tightness in her chest and breathed in the scent of her car’s mango air freshener. Thank goodness for Cadence. She stuck by her day in and day out for months of rehab, like hook pile tape stuck to a knit sock.
“I’m good. The rehabilitation therapy made me a new person.”
Cadence laughed. “I wish I could say the same.”
The injury to Cadence’s hip gave her troubles and a limp. “Give it more time. Remember, I didn’t have the injuries to heal from like you.”
“No, you slept through it.”
“Ha! I did.”
“How much farther do you have?”
“A few minutes.” She tightened her grip on the wheel. “I’m nervous.”
“Of course you are! I’d give anyth
ing to see Matt’s face when you show up. To think your parents would let someone feel such grief. When he sees you…” Her voice drifted. “Wow, just wow.”
She cringed. Thanks to Bradley, Matt knew she was kicking and single, but nothing more. He didn’t know if she wanted him. “I don’t want to think about what Mom and Dad did. I have to turn, better say bye.” Her heart beat so fast, her ears vibrated.
“Go live out your dream, sweetie.” Cadence’s loud sigh came through the device. “Love you.”
She disconnected and glanced at the directions Bradley had given on her GPS and slowed the car to take the left off the highway. The sounds of engines revving past, and the bumping noise the tires made, ceased. The area was quiet and peaceful, but her insides twisted in knots. Soon, she’d make the last stop to either joy or despair.
Bright colors stole her breath. Purple-blue clusters with trumpet-shaped flowers covered the trees on either side of the road. Moisture filled her vision. She was close, so close to living what she’d always wanted that her nerves pounded her stomach like popcorn. In a daze, she pulled into the parking lot, pressed on the brake, and gaped.
A peacock strutted amongst the pasture grass and occasional wild flower. Its stunning white-tailed feathers fanned out like a bridal veil. A miniature horse’s long mane danced around his face as it dipped its head as if to say welcome. An alpaca chewed his cud then spit at the horse. The horse’s curled lip said what he thought of the act.
Giggling, she slid the gearshift into park and cut the engine. A garden nursery situated not only beside a petting zoo but intermingled with it. She climbed out of the car on wobbly legs.
Had he? She covered her hand to her mouth. Did he? Not knowing how to put into words his amazing act, she stared at the flowers and animals.
Shades of the rainbow popped into her vision. Annuals, perennials, shrubs, and trees stretched over a large piece of land. In the distance, magnificent mountains rose like protectors high above the flowery meadow and the stream running along its base.
Still not able to come to terms with what she saw, she sucked in a shaky breath.
More fenced animals bordered the rear of the nursery. Each sweet creature watched, ears rising in anticipation. A mixture of perfumed flowers, hay, and manure drifted on the slight breeze. The scents brought memories of how much she loved farms—pets, goats, horses, and breathing in the fresh air.
Gravel crunched behind her. The posted hours stated the place closed an hour ago, which meant the owner approached.
She braced for coming face-to-face with the one person who meant the most and caught sight of a wooden sign stretched from post to post above the entrance. The word ‘Divine’ etched into the wood grain.
Emotions hit hard. Hugging her waist, she bent gasping and squeezed her eyes.
He loved her so much he’d carried out her dream. A loud sob escaped. What man on God’s green earth could be this great? Could do such a wonderful thing?
A bleating goat jerked her out of the moment.
The goat had wedged its head between the two bottom boards and cried for help. The brown and white pigmy didn’t angle its head toward her, but to the person behind her.
“Ma’am, we’re closed.” Matt’s voice drifted over her. She wanted to savor the sound, feel the warmth it fortified her with, but disappointment intruded when he hadn’t recognized her. Of course, he wouldn’t have. With her back to him and her hair more blonde than red, how could he? Her untamed locks had been her trademark and she’d cut them to shoulder length.
She turned. Want and love jolted her more than she expected. She knew seeing Matt would be wonderful, but no words described the strong pull for him, what she saw.
A stunningly gorgeous man in a plain dark brown T-shirt with Divine stitched on the left hand side. The cotton fabric bulged across his impressive biceps, and his jeans fit him all too well. A close-shaven beard and mustache shielded his face from the elements, but also hinted at a bad boy image. Her girlie parts jumped with excitement.
His steel-colored eyes darkened, not with desire liked she hoped, but with shock. “Trina.”
Matt’s throat clogged, and tears burned his eyes. He waited so long, wanted her so much, he couldn’t move, couldn’t process what he saw. Didn’t know what he felt. He’d longed to pull her into his arms, hold and kiss her until they both melted into a pile. Now that she was here, he couldn’t. Too many unanswered questions.
Moisture covered her cheeks and chin. A god-awful sound escaped her. “Matt,” she said through her hands and sobbing. “Oh, God, Matt!” But she didn’t move.
Jeez, he wanted her. “Trina,” he said again, too shocked to think of anything else. He dreamed, hoped she’d come to him, and still, in his wildest imagination, he didn’t believe the day would ever arrive. Bradley told him she was doing better. He thanked the stars every night, but he didn’t go to her. Couldn’t, not with how callously the Lovetts treated him. She had to decide what she wanted. He wouldn’t push it. No matter how much he wanted her, he wouldn’t impede on her relationship with her parents. By no means were they nice, and he questioned their motives more than once, but they were her parents. At least she had them.
“I have so much to explain, so much to tell you.”
His body zinged from the desperation in her voice and came to life. “I want to hear every word.” He couldn’t resist touching her and moved forward. His desire to reach her crashed into him with such force, any minute he’d leap and land on top of her. “But first—”
“Don’t.” She held up a hand to stop his advance. “Matt, you can’t touch me.”
Not the dramatic words he wanted to hear. He leaned against her car, folded his arms, and crossed his ankles, closing himself off. She wasn’t there for him, to be with him. Not long ago she had another man’s ring on her finger.
“This is coming out all wrong.”
“Then try another tactic.”
He yearned to drown in the warm forest eyes that leveled on him.
Clearly, she had as much trouble as him figuring out what to say next. He should wait her out, but if she came to say “thanks for everything, I’m moving on” and “goodbye,” then this little meeting best conclude as quick as possible. Before it did though, he needed answers. “I’ll go first. I have wanted you so badly I could hardly stand it, but you’re right—talk before touch. I don’t understand how you broke contact with me.”
“I didn’t.” She gaped. “You hadn’t answered my phone calls.” Waterworks flew. “My texts. My emails. I thought you’d moved on. My letters!” Her hands tightened into balls at the end of toned arms. Her shapely tanned legs were equally in great shape. She looked good, real good.
“I sat in the barracks, anxious and eager for a letter from you. Do you know what hearing from you did for me?” He held back the tears fighting for release. He had to get this out, tell her how much she hurt him. “For days on end, I waited, waited for you to make some form of contact,” he growled out. “You never did!”
“I tried. You’re the most decent person I know. My feelings, our bond, they haven’t changed. Matt, if anything, they’re so much stronger. Your anger tells me you still care so much about us, about the heartbeat of us.”
Fuck! Moisture tipped out of the rim of his eyes and burned his face.
She twisted her mouth one way then the other. “The night before you left for the Marines, I was afraid if I made love with you, I would lose my soul and never recover. The thing is—” She stepped closer. “I started losing it the day we met by the river, the day you rescued me…”
She moved another step, putting within arm’s reach.
All he had to do was remove the distance between them, kiss her, and the baggage keeping them apart would disappear.
“I haven’t recovered, and I hope I never do.” She paused.
That confused him. He waited patiently for her to continue. For her to do something, anything but just stare at him.
She stro
ked a finger along his face. “I haven’t recovered from the pool of want when I’m with you. When I’m away from you, I feel like part of me is missing. You’re everything to me.”
“Then how? How could you…” Asking her how she let another man put a ring on her finger proved more difficult than he thought.
“People interfered.”
The pulse in his neck jumped. Heat roiled in his stomach. “What people? Who are you talking about?” Even as he asked the questions, he knew the answers. Her parents. “How? How could they? They always tried to keep us apart, but we prevented it. Why did you let them?”
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. With a lost look, she eyed him from beneath her lashes. “I didn’t. My mom diverted your emails. Cal blocked your cell number.”
Trained in multiple ways to contain the enemy, thoughts he would rather not act on rolled through his mind, one at a time, as he tried not to react. He balled his hands into fists and let his short nails dig into his palms to deflect his grumble.
“Cal’s on his honeymoon,” she said, stopping his thoughts of ways to confront him. “He married someone whose father’s bank account could pay the national debt.”
Not surprising, he moved onto someone else so quickly. From the brief encounter he had with Cal at Maggie’s Café, he didn’t appear to be a scorned lover, but a man who didn’t want to be outdone. “Do you miss him?” Please say no.
“No, I don’t.”
He bit his bottom lip to stop from smiling.
“He was convenient, nothing more. I used him as much as he used me.”
Whether he liked it or not, he started to understand how their situation got out of control. Both of them had hurt feelings. Still, the letters nagged him.
“In the coma, I heard every despicable word my parents said to you. I’m so sorry.”
Suddenly feeling vulnerable, he uncrossed his legs and braced a hand on the hood of her car. “You could hear?”
“Yes. My parents and I have talked. They’ve promised to butt out of my life.” She raised a finger. “I omitted some information, things you need to hear, the reasons why I used Cal.”
