by Vivian Wood
“I’m an editor from Marie Claire, and I’ve been enjoying the stuff you’ve been writing for the paper. I'm very interested in sitting down with you and talking about your next move,” Vernice said.
Meredith blinked in surprise. Had she just gotten an offer from one of the biggest fashion and lifestyle magazines in the world?
She swallowed, struggling for words.
“I’ll be on the road for the next three weeks, at least… or maybe more,” she answered, stealing glances at Elijah who was starting to get dressed.
Vernice chuckled.
“Yeah, I know. I’d be very delighted to see you when you get back to New York.”
Biting her lip, she looked at Eli who was already standing in front of her, fully dressed. He looked pensive.
“Sure. I’ll get in touch once I’m off the road,” she said, which Vernice gladly agreed to.
When the phone call ended, Eli asked her who it was, looking curious more than ever when she averted her gaze. She didn’t want him to think that she was leaving the campaign.
No. She didn’t want to leave the campaign.
She wanted to stay with him until the election.
“Someone from Marie Claire,” she answered softly, walking past him and sitting at the foot of the bed. “But I don’t think I’m going to call them back,” she added, fidgeting with her fingernails.
She sighed.
It was a huge opportunity. But she felt like things were going too fast for her career. She wanted to take things easy. And enjoy what she currently had… Elijah.
Meredith raised her head when she saw Elijah’s feet in front of hers. He wasn't stupid, and telling him that it was nothing would be ridiculous.
“Why not?” he asked with narrowed eyes, unconvinced.
“It’s just… nothing.”
“They called you for nothing?”
“It’s nothing important, okay? I’m going to the gym,” she snapped. Her thoughts were still a jumbled mess.
She didn't mean to sound so bitchy. But she didn't know how to handle the situation. And she didn't want Eli to think she was turning down a brilliant opportunity just because of him.
“I trust you can see yourself out,” she said quietly, gathering her gym clothes, locking herself in the bathroom.
She needed some time alone to clear her head and organize her thoughts.
She needed to think.
31
Elijah couldn't understand why Meredith would turn down an offer from a company as big as Marie Claire. When she snapped at him, he knew that the job was something she really wanted.
It was something she'd been looking forward to for a very long time.
He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but he had a feeling that it was all because of him. And her relationship with him was the biggest factor in why she declined the offer. He didn’t want her to lose opportunities because of him. He wasn't willing to give up his career just to be with her.
At least, he thought he wasn't.
“I don’t want you to lose something as big as this, Meredith. I want you to reconsider your decision. I don’t want to get in between you and your dreams.”
She scoffed.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Elijah. I’m not turning it down because of you. The decision is for me to make. You don’t have anything to do with it. Besides, did you ever consider me when you're making decisions?” she barked angrily, planting her hands on her hips.
She was deadly serious.
Eli fell silent.
“Oh, why did I even bother to ask the obvious? Of course you don't. Your ambition is a whole different thing. And you're not even taking our relationship into account,” she smirked, then shrugged. “If you can even call this a relationship,” she muttered under her breath.
He stayed quiet and looked at her. He knew that she was thinking about it all along. But he didn't expect that he'd be speechless the moment she’d bring up the topic. It was hard to answer or even deny. Because she everything she said was true.
Gritting his teeth, his hands balled into fists. Although he knew he was in the wrong, he was hurt. He was just trying to make her see the possibilities of a brilliant career ahead of her. He only wanted her to pursue what she wanted to do.
But maybe it was a wrong move.
“Fine! Do whatever you want. And you can’t ever put anything that happened tonight in print,” he spoke coldly.
It was their very first fight. And he didn’t want her to take it to heart. He was afraid that everything would change because of the damned argument. If possible, he just wanted them to forget about it.
Meredith let out a dry laugh. Her face turned red, as well as the tips of her ears. She folded her arms over her chest. She looked insulted.
“I thought you trusted me. All this time, you've been thinking I'd break my promise to you just to get back at you? You disgust me!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.
“You're acting like a spoiled brat. You think everything should go your way because you've had everything handed to you on a silver fucking platter your entire life. That's not how the real world works, Meredith,” he growled. He could see she was angry, but he couldn't stop himself from adding the next part.
“But what can I do? You’re just a little girl. You don’t understand anything,” he said, shrugging for a more sarcastic effect.
Her eyes widened. Maybe he'd gone too far.
Pursing her lips, she met his gaze with the same intensity of anger. She didn’t look the least bit intimidated with his stares, or scared of his aura. She was undaunted as she filled her chest with air and released a heavy breath.
“I can understand you perfectly when we're fucking each other. Things are crystal clear then. But I couldn't understand the relationship between us, no matter how hard I tried,” she grumbled. She paused, then scoffed. “But I guess I understand it now.”
Eli watched as her eyes filled with tears, and it broke his heart when a tear rolled down her cheek. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He never meant to.
And he didn’t want to see her cry.
He reached out to wipe away her tears, but she jerked away from him like she'd been burned. Rubbing at her face, she shot him a look of utter contempt and disgust. That was when he realized he words he'd spoken had been more than enough to break their bond.
He never should have called her a spoiled brat, because she wasn't, not really. And saying that she didn't understand anything had just been cruel.
Meredith may be young, but she was undeniably brilliant.
Her intelligence made her sexier than any of the women he'd known in his past.
She was everything he wanted.
No.
She was all he wanted.
But it seemed like he'd be losing her for good after this. It was all so stupid.
“I didn’t mea–“
“This is just another fling. I’m just one of those women for you,” she spoke in almost a whisper, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.
Elijah struggled for the right words to say to put her at ease, but his mind felt like it was shutting down entirely as he watched her.
He'd already made up his mind – he couldn't quit his political ambitions, and he was willing to give up the happiness he'd found with Meredith. Arguing with her and insisting she was more than a fling would just be giving her false hope at this point.
Even though for him, she wasn't just a fling.
She was one in a million.
And even though their time together was short and fleeting, she'd given him a glimpse of real happiness. He'd always cherish the memories they'd made together.
He fought the urge to pull her close for a hug. He wanted nothing more than to embrace her tightly, soothe away her pains, and reassure her that he would stay by her side no matter what.
But he knew he couldn’t do that.
She shot him a disappointed glare before storming out of his room without sparing him another g
lance.
She was badly hurt, he could tell. But things were better this way.
32
After the fight with Elijah, Meredith spent the remaining weeks of the final campaign push working her ass off in order to get him out of her mind.
She missed him so badly.
But she couldn't stop obsessing over the things he'd said to her.
She'd thought Elijah was different. That her family's wealth and status didn't matter to him. After the times they'd spent together and the conversations they'd had, she'd thought he'd understood her. Come to find out, he hadn't really understood her at all.
She'd been deeply hurt because she wasn't like that.
She was grateful for what she had, and worked hard not to come across as a spoiled princess.
But the absolute worst was when he'd just gone along with what she'd said about just being another one of his flings. Deep down, she'd wanted him to comfort her and tell her she was more than that. That she was special, and that he really liked her.
And maybe…
Just maybe, things would have turned out a lot better if he'd just told her he loved her.
Because she knew…
She'd fallen in love with him, hard and fast.
It was like she was falling into a bottomless pit – there was no end to it.
Knocking back a shot of whisky, Meredith smiled bitterly, thinking that it was definitely for the best that Elijah hadn't bothered to chase her. The last thing she needed was him getting her hopes up for the millionth time.
Now she knew not to expect anything from him. He'd made it crystal clear that she was nothing more than a fling, a toy used to kill time and relieve his sexual frustrations. She was just the latest in a long line of women who'd fallen for his charms.
“Meredith,” she heard her mother calling out her name.
It was a few nights before Election Day, and she was finally back at home, currently drinking herself silly. She should have been spending time bonding with her family. But her mind was filled with thoughts of nothing but Elijah, as usual.
She did a double take when her mother came close.
Her mom was drunk. It had been awhile since she'd seen her like this.
She looked for her father, but he was already passed out on the couch. He'd never been much of a drinker, not like her mother.
Bonnie was traveling with friends.
She sighed, wishing that her little sister was there. At least she'd have someone to talk with.
“Mom, you’re drunk,” she spoke softly, filling her glass with more whisky.
“I-I-I’m not,” Elizabeth argued, stuttering. “Just tipsy.”
Rolling her eyes, Meredith chuckled.
“Whatever,” she said, not wanting to argue. “Come on, let's get you to bed.”
“No,” her mother protested, shaking her head.
Meredith fought the urge to laugh. Who would have ever thought that the Elizabeth Howard Fields would be like this when drunk?
I took after her, I guess.
“D-Do you know what I have always dreamt for you and your sister?” Elizabeth spoke gently, her expression soft like she was thinking about something very beautiful.
Her mother was usually an emotionally messy drunk, laughing until she cried, or singing until she'd lose her voice. But right now she was acting differently, making Meredith feel anxious.
“What is it?” she asked hesitantly.
Her mother smiled bitterly, with a single tear rolling down her left cheek.
Meredith held her breath. Had her mother gone senile?
“I want the two of you to marry someone you love and who could love you the same way,” Elizabeth responded emotionally. “I don’t want you to be in a loveless marriage for convenience.”
She stayed quiet, studying her mother’s expression a little bit longer. Her mother didn’t sound like she was joking, and she knew it was the heaviest burden she'd been carrying in her heart for a long time.
Meredith was aware of what her mom was referring to, of course. But she hadn't expected her mother to ever openly talk about it.
But maybe tonight, she thought her mother would open up.
“Nobody wants a marriage without love, Mom. It'll never last without love,” she said bitterly.
Just like her relationship with Elijah. Her love for him was completely one-sided. The only feeling shared between them was lust, pure and simple.
Elizabeth smiled. “You’re right.”
She fell silent, but she longed to ask her mother a very specific question. It was the same question she'd always wanted to ask her parents, but had never had the guts to discuss. But maybe now was the right time.
“But you and dad have been together for more than two decades. So I guess it could work,” she said delicately, hinting around the issue. “You had me, then Bonnie.”
“I love your dad, Mer,” Elizabeth blurted.
Meredith froze.
“I agreed to marry him because I love him. But his heart belonged to someone else,” her mother confessed, her cheeks flooded with tears.
Meredith didn't know how to react at this sudden revelation.
Her heart ached for her mom. How could she have possibly endured this for so long all by herself?
“I had no idea,” she whispered, hugging her mom fiercely, hoping it would soothe her at least a little bit.
More than ever, she felt blessed. Because of her mother's patience and sacrifice, she'd been able to grow up with a complete family. She may not have been the best daughter, but she'd grown up to be a good person thanks to her parents.
“Mom?” she prompted when Elizabeth’s sobs turned faint.
“Hmmm…?”
“What if I was in a secret relationship? One that no one knew about, but I was happy.”
“Well… it’s not a relationship if you can’t tell your parents about it, is it?”
Meredith shook her head glumly. She cared about Elijah, there was no denying that. She was certain that she loved him.
But her mom and Lily were right. She wasn't some dirty little secret. And it didn’t matter if there was a ten year difference between them. If she was going to be in a relationship with him, she wanted the whole package.
She wouldn’t accept less.
Because that was what she deserved.
33
After mulling things over, Meredith sobered up and decided she and Eli needed to talk. She didn't want things between them to end the way they had. Plus she felt she deserved to know what she really meant to him. She'd ask him face to face, and she'd accept whatever his answer would be.
It was possible he would break her heart all over again, but at least this way she wouldn't be left wondering about all the what ifs she couldn't stop thinking about.
During the drive, she thought long and hard about the questions she wanted to ask him. It would be best to be prepared. She just hoped she could remain calm.
Just the idea of asking him about his feelings was starting to make her feel anxious. But she knew she needed to make the first move.
She didn't want to have any regrets, come what may.
And if the worst came to pass, it'd be best for her to hear it directly from him, so she could start moving on with her life.
After parking her car in front of Eli's house, she ran through the same breathing exercises she'd used to help calm herself down the night of the party. The night where it had all started, for better or for worse. She didn't bother looking in the mirror. She wasn't there to impress him, after all.
She just needed some answers. That's it.
She got out of her car and quickly walked to his front door, knocking three times. She knew it was late, and him not being home or asleep were both very real possibilities. But she still had to try.
After a few moments, she knocked again. But there was no answer.
Biting her lip, she tested the knob and was surprised when she learned the door was unlocked. Without hesi
tating, she walked inside and looked around the living room and kitchen. Still, there was no trace of Elijah.
Meredith decided to go to the pool area where the party had been held the last time she'd been at his house. The lights were on, making her feel certain that Elijah was still awake and that he was somewhere on the patio.
When she reached the slightly opened glass sliding door leading to the pool area, she saw him leaning against a wooden chair. He was talking with Sosie, but she couldn't see their faces because of the angle.
Just after she took a step closer, Elijah held Sosie’s hand in the air, leaning closer – kissing her. Meredith wasn't sure what they were doing, but she was certain that whatever was happening wasn't good for her heart.
She covered her mouth with a hand to suppress the gasp that was trying to escape, her knees growing weak as she stared at them. Elijah was kissing Sosie!
She was not expecting to see that.
Tears welled in her eyes as she struggled for air. She could feel a piercing pain in her heart, as if a thousand tiny needles were pricking it repeatedly.
She was feeling an unimaginable pain she'd never experienced before.
God, she was so stupid! He'd already made it clear she was nothing more than a fling. Talking wouldn't change that. What had she been thinking, barging into his house like she had any kind of right to be there?
She needed to get out of here before they saw her. She didn't think she could deal with Sosie right now, let alone Elijah after what she'd just witnessed.
Turning on her heels, she accidentally bumped into a table in her haste, knocking a large decorative vase to the floor, where it shattered.
She stared stupidly at the broken pieces of glass for a split second before she quickly ran away without looking back.
She never should have gone there.
It was a mistake.She didn’t know how she'd made it out of his house without being discovered, but the next thing she knew she was already inside her car, starting the engine and pulling away.
Damn you, Elijah Scott! she cursed silently, as tears continued to fall down her cheeks.
