by Jaye McKenna
“The ship I was on… it was the Mathilde,” Miko said.
Rafe frowned. “I don’t know that name.”
“It was lost in jump space. They said one of the drives malfunctioned and threw the ship into jump prematurely. There wasn’t enough warning to get the passengers and crew tranked down in time, and…”
Rafe’s eyes grew wide, his expression shifting from guarded to horrified.
Miko’s hands trembled, and he forgot to pretend to type. “They… they all went mad and killed each other. When… when the ship appeared in Federation space two years later… that’s… that’s when they found me. My eyes… my hair… this is what I looked like when they pulled me off the Mathilde.”
“Jesus.” Rafe reached across the space between them for Miko’s hand.
Miko steeled himself and let him take it. Rafe’s skin was cool and dry, but his touch sent shards of glass slicing through Miko’s mythe-shadow. He endured it for only a few moments before jerking his hand back. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You… it hurts me. To touch you.”
That closed, guarded expression was back, and Rafe pulled his own hand away. “Does it hurt just to be close to me?”
“Yes,” Miko said. “I’m sorry.”
After a long silence, Rafe said, “Do you… do you remember it? The… the Mathilde, I mean.”
“Not the way you mean. In dreams, maybe.”
“But two years? How did you survive?”
“I wasn’t there. I was—” Miko stopped himself before he said too much. What would Rafe think if he told him about the dragons? About Aio teaching him to dance in the mythe?
“You were what?” Rafe whispered.
“Aio saved me,” Miko blurted out, not looking at Kyn.
Rafe’s dark eyebrows drew together. “Aio?”
“She’s one of the dragons. They live in the mythe. The place between. Where ships go when they jump. Aio taught me how to survive there. I think… I think I was with her most of the time the Mathilde was…” Miko trailed off as Rafe’s eyes widened again.
He’d said too much. Maybe Rafe’s desire to find his brother didn’t extend far enough to include a brother who talked to dragons that no one else could see. Maybe this would be enough to make him leave.
Miko wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
Before he could think of something to say that would convince Rafe he wasn’t crazy, Rafe said, “I knew it was you.” His voice was low and rough. “Even if our connection is gone, that clinches it. After all that, you’re still talking about your dragons. God, Miko, I missed you.”
Miko stared at Rafe, mind reeling. Rafe remembered him talking about the dragons?
But Miko hadn’t known Aio until she’d saved him… had he?
He had so many questions, but none of them were questions Rafe could answer.
It took every shred of will he possessed not to flee, desperate as he was to get away from those hungry eyes and the painful brush of Rafe’s mythe-shadow against his own.
With slow, deliberate motions, he closed the voice-synth unit and got to his feet. He managed to flash Rafe a wavering smile before moving past Kyn and out of the suite.
* * *
It was dark by the time Cam and Eleni got Draven settled at the Institute’s island cabin. Draven didn’t stir once, not when they moved him, and not when Eleni started hooking up IV lines, tubes, and monitors.
“What do you think?” Cam said as he set down the armchair he’d wrestled up the stairs for Eleni.
She looked up from her slate. Data feeds from the monitors covered the screen, a jumble of charts and numbers Cam couldn’t even begin to interpret. “I think it’s too early to tell. We’ll see if he makes it through the night.” Her tone said she didn’t think he would, and Cam’s chest constricted a little at the thought.
“You’ll call me if anything happens, right?”
“Why?” Eleni’s dark eyes narrowed. “Where are you intending to be?”
“Campus. I need to talk to Kyn, see what’s going on. I’ll be back here by noon tomorrow so you can get some sleep.”
“Cam. You’re swaying on your feet. You weren’t in a fit state to fly earlier, and you’re even worse off now. If you have to talk to Kyn, you can call him. There is nothing going on at the campus that can’t wait until morning.”
“You don’t know that.”
Eleni pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked it. “I’m senior staff. I’d have been notified if there was. And… no. There is nothing going on. Unless you’re concerned about missing the cooking club’s cake decorating demonstration?”
Cam rolled his eyes. “I need to talk to Kyn in person.”
“Tomorrow,” she said firmly.
“Damn it, Eleni—”
“No, Cam. You’re too tired to fly. And I’m saying that not only as your chief medic, but also as your older sister.”
“By five minutes,” he muttered.
“Irrelevant. Anyway, you’re not going to get far without the key card, which I’m not handing over until you’ve had some sleep. Now go find us something to eat, and then get your ass to bed.”
He scowled, but went back downstairs and scrounged around in the kitchen for food. This particular cabin hadn’t been used in a while, so he didn’t find much, aside from a few meal-paks. He brought a selection up to Eleni, who wrinkled her nose, but took one.
“Sorry,” he said. “This is all I could find in the cupboards. I’ll put in an emergency supply order with housekeeping before I turn in. I can pick it up tomorrow.”
“Have the infirmary put together a liquid diet pack and a case of — no, never mind. I’ll call the night crew and have them get some supplies ready for you.” Her eyes flicked to Draven. “He’s not going to be able to handle solid food for a while. And once we get the infection under control, we still have to worry about withdrawal.”
Cam frowned. “Has he had any riptide since we left the lodge?”
“It’s in the IV. Much easier on the body than a concentrated jolt every few hours, and what I’m giving him is cleaner than anything you’re going to find on the street. I’ve done this before, Cam. More times than I care to count.”
“I’m sorry you’re having to do it again. I didn’t want to involve you, but I didn’t know who else I could trust.”
“I’m still deciding if I should be flattered or enraged by that,” she said drily.
Cam gave her a weak grin. “Let me know when you’ve decided. I’ll steer clear until then.”
“Adding some strawberry ice cream to that supply order would go a long way toward earning my forgiveness.”
“Strawberry ice cream,” Cam said. “Noted. How many cartons do you think it’ll take?”
“At least two. And something besides a meal-pak for dinner. And coffee. Bring some decent coffee.” She glanced at Draven again. “I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Good. Now go get some sleep.”
He gave her a mock salute and headed off to order the supplies.
* * *
Miko managed to hold it together until he was alone. Kyn had been reluctant to leave, and Miko had to reassure him several times that he was just fine, and no, he didn’t need to talk to Jaana or anyone else in Psych Services. The moment Kyn was out the door, Miko had curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the dark vid-screen and trying to make sense of what Rafe had said.
What did it mean that Rafe knew about the dragons?
Had Miko really known Aio then? He searched his memory, but no matter how deep he dove, there was nothing from before the Mathilde.
A hand waving in front of his face brought him back to the surface. “Hey, man, you okay?”
Miko blinked, bringing Luka’s face into focus. Did you break in? he signed.
“Um. Yeah?” Luka drew back a little and ran a hand through spiky black hair. “Kyn asked me to check on you. He, uh, told me to break in if yo
u didn’t answer your door. He was worried about you. I was, too, else I wouldn’t have done it. Saw your face this afternoon. Hell, Miko, anybody’d be knocked off their game if they came face-to-face with their double.” He gave Miko’s shoulder an awkward pat and added, “Oh, and I think you owe me dinner, Mr. Unhackable Encryption Algorithm.”
A small smile curved Miko’s lips. I haven’t designed it yet. If I had, you wouldn’t have gotten in.
“I ain’t believing that until I see it.” Luka grinned and plopped down on the coffee table, but the smile didn’t touch his eyes. “I mean it, Miko. Are you okay?”
He says he’s my brother. My twin.
“Yeah. That’s what he said at the hotel. What do you think?”
He remembers me… but I don’t remember him. I’ve never even seen him in the Pattern.
“I thought you could see everyone in the Pattern.”
Sort of… but I have to know them to pick their thread out from all the others. Or they have to be tangled up with me or someone I know. If he’s my brother, shouldn’t he feel familiar? I can feel his mythe-shadow, but… I should have seen his thread in the Pattern before now, felt it wrapped around mine…
Luka frowned, and his eyes got that distant look they sometimes did when he was trying to figure something out. Finally, he said slowly, “You said the Pattern’s been acting weird ever since we shut down the artifacts on Aion. Could it be something to do with that?”
Maybe, Miko signed, but he didn’t believe it. He could still sense the threads of all the other people around him; all of them, except Rafe. He says we were linked. Our minds, I mean. He says when we were little, he could feel me all the time, even when I wasn’t with him. And when they took me away and put me on the Mathilde, the link broke, and he’s been hurting ever since. But I’ve never seen anything like that in the Pattern. And I can’t remember anything about it.
“Maybe Jaana could help you remember,” Luka said quietly. “When Damon first came here, he had a big hole in his memory, and Jaana said there were all kinds of things they could try to help him get it back. He didn’t end up having to do any of ’em… well, you know. You were there. But… maybe you could ask her if some of those things might work for you?”
Miko shivered at the thought. The occasional dream-flashes he had of the carnage aboard the Mathilde were more than enough for him. He was quite certain his lost memories contained things far more horrific than being enslaved by DeMira and forced to service the man’s friends and business associates.
There are things buried in here that I don’t think I want to touch, he signed, then tapped his own head.
“Yeah. I get that. And if you don’t even remember him, it ain’t like you got a whole lot of reason to want to go after those memories.”
I don’t, but… he’s hurting. His mythe-shadow is torn and bleeding, and it hurts me to be near him. I don’t know what to do. If he’s my brother… if we were really that close… shouldn’t I know him?
“I don’t know,” Luka admitted. “Memories are tricky. Back in Riga, I lived in the same apartment with Damon and another guy for three years, but when Damon first came here, he didn’t remember nothing about that. Maybe… maybe if you tried to spend some time with him… it might trigger your memory. Or… I guess if you want some kind of proof, you could ask Eleni to run a blood test. She’d be able to tell you for sure if you guys are brothers.”
Miko didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure he wanted any kind of confirmation that Rafe spoke the truth. Right now, there was only Rafe’s word, and he could pretend that maybe Rafe was lying, that it was all some crazy coincidence. They could be identical strangers… couldn’t they?
But that didn’t explain how Rafe knew about the dragons.
When Luka finally left, Miko tried to go to sleep, but the big bed felt especially empty tonight. He curled up around Tarrin’s pillow, but he couldn’t fall asleep, and eventually, he gave up trying and focused instead on the mythe.
If he and Rafe were brothers, then it stood to reason that there should be some trace of Rafe in the Pattern. Maybe he just needed to go deeper. Steeling himself, Miko sank down into the mythe, down to where the Pattern lay in all its broken, shifting pieces.
It was like looking at a shattered stained-glass window. Shards of broken rainbows lay everywhere, some with threads running through them and some without. There was no sense of how they might fit together, and indeed, Miko suspected that some of the pieces were missing, fallen into the dark, shadowed places he’d never been able to see through.
He tried to follow some of the threads, only to find that they were broken, too, dangling loose off the edges of the shards, with nothing to connect them to the other pieces.
None of those threads felt the least bit like Rafe’s bleeding, crying mythe-shadow.
With a whimper, Miko pulled away and resurfaced, drawing his mythe-shadow in close. The Pattern offered no answers, and the dragons refused to speak to him.
He squeezed his eyes shut and hugged Tarrin’s pillow tighter.
* * *
It was past ten when Cam got to the campus the next morning. He hadn’t meant to sleep so late, but his body had vetoed his intention to be in his office before sunrise.
Draven had survived the night, and his condition was better than Eleni had expected. She’d managed to doze on and off in the armchair during the night, but even so, he’d promised her he’d be back as soon as possible. If he could get to Kyn’s office without being seen, he might even make it back before dinner.
Unfortunately, in order to reach the Admin building from the vehicle pool, he had to cross the greenhouse that connected the three buildings of the campus. That was where he ran into Luka, who, given the time, had likely just finished his lecture for his Psionic Ethics class.
“Hey, boss-man.” Luka fell into step beside Cam. “Glad you’re back. Kyn’s been a bastard and a half since you left.” He cocked his head and added, “You look like warmed-over shit.”
“Thank you, Luka,” Cam said sourly. “Good to know I can still count on you for an honest opinion.”
Luka grinned, pale green eyes crinkling at the corners. “You don’t pay me enough for pretty lies.”
“Do I pay you enough to get you to help me out?”
“Depends. What do you need?”
“I’ve got supply orders from housekeeping and the infirmary waiting for me. I need them picked up and moved to my flyer up on the roof. And since I happen to feel a hell of a lot worse than I look…”
“If you feel worse than you look, we should be planning a funeral, man. You want roses or lilies?”
Cam scowled, though it was impossible to be angry at Luka. The shaggy, spiky haircut, innocent expression, and small stature made him look like a kid, even at twenty-five. “Can you help me or not?”
“Yeah, I’ll haul your shit for ya, old man. But housekeeping and medical stuff… what do you need that for?”
Cam dug in his pocket for the key card to his own flyer while he dithered over what to tell Luka. There was no getting around the fact that Luka had seen him, which meant it wouldn’t be long before everyone on campus knew he’d been here. He settled for being deliberately vague. “I can’t talk about it. FedSec business.”
“Super-double-secret classified stuff, eh? Okay, I won’t ask, but I’m tellin’ you right now, that ain’t gonna fly with Kyn.” Luka slipped the card in his pocket. “You’ll be in his office?”
“Should be. I’ll be heading back out as soon as I’ve had a word with him.”
“That’s what you think,” Luka muttered, and took off before Cam could ask him what he meant.
Great. Something must have changed since he’d last spoken to Kyn two days ago. Senator Cottrell wouldn’t be back yet, so it had to be something local. He quickened his step as he headed for the elevators.
When he reached Kyn’s office, Kyn was waiting for him. Cam went straight for the coffee while Kyn set a sonic disruptor on his desk.
The subtle vibrations pushed the headache he’d woken up with into the foreground, and Cam rubbed his temples as he settled himself in the chair opposite Kyn.
“You okay?” Kyn asked.
“Short on sleep,” Cam said. He took a long swallow of coffee. “It’s been a rough few days.” And the next few promised to be just as rough; tonight he’d be watching over Draven so Eleni could sleep.
“You were out of contact for almost two days. I was getting worried.”
“I told you it might happen. I wasn’t near a power source.”
“You planning to tell me what’s going on?” Kyn’s pale eyes searched his face, and Cam looked away, uncomfortable with that probing gaze.
“I can’t.” He dared not tell Kyn the same lie he’d told Luka and Eleni, that it was FedSec business. Kyn was married to Pat Cottrell, director of FedSec’s psi hunter unit, and Pat would know damn well FedSec had nothing to do with his absence. Sweat beaded on Cam’s neck as he considered just how complex a web of lies he might have to maintain to keep Draven’s presence a secret. “Can’t stay long, either,” he added. “I need to be out of here by mid-afternoon at the latest.”
Kyn gave him a dubious look. “There are things going on here that need your attention.”
“I won’t be out of contact this time. I’ve got access to power and—”
“Your personal attention.”
Cam frowned. “Like what?”
“Like Rafe Azziani showing up out of the blue, claiming to be Miko’s brother, and asking for our protection.”
“Rafe Azziani?” The name was familiar, but Cam couldn’t place it.
“Miko’s double. Remember when Nick first came here, and he thought Miko was Rafe?”
“He’s here?” Cam remembered now. Just seeing his own face on someone else had thrown Miko for days. What would seeing Azziani in person do to him? “How the hell did he find us? Is Miko all right?”
