I leaned down, pressing my lips into her forehead. When I rose, Erin’s eyes were already closed. It didn’t take long before I heard her breaths slow. She was already deep asleep. As I studied her face, I thought over the last three days I’d taken care of her. Of what I’d done in that time—this. I’d memorized each line of her features. Every expression she made in her sleep. They were burned deep into my brain and I’d clung to each one. It was no secret how much I had fought the need to have her for myself. Even from the beginning. Did I have her now? Was she mine to keep? When we left Caleb’s I’d pretty much slipped into that state of mind. But would Erin consider staying once she got better? Would she even be human and have a choice? There were too many questions. Too many things I wanted out of this. It was wrong to wish she’d be infected, too. She didn’t deserve the hell I lived with, but my wolf took to the idea. He wanted her in any form. If she was a wolf, she couldn’t leave. She’d have to stay … she’d want to.
No. It wasn’t me thinking that. He was controlling my thoughts at the moment. He was greedy for her. Desperate.
Knocking had me rushing for the door—rushing from the war going on within my mind. I came to a stop, waiting for my dad’s truck to drive off before I opened it.
The bags were sitting on the snow in front of my door. I reached out and grabbed the plastic bag full of ingredients. As I headed for the kitchen, I pulled out the note that was sticking from the top. It was directions on the different steps I needed to take. The heart at the bottom paired withMom, made me break out in a smile. In this moment, I had everything—parents, someone who caused my heart to race. It looked like I might have a life again…
I paused in removing the ingredients and glanced toward the bedroom. Yes. I wanted to keep her, and I only had a few weeks to convince her to stay. Erin might possibly want to leave after the next full moon if she didn’t change, but I couldn’t let her. Not without giving it everything I had. And not just for me, but for her. She seemed more than content when she was with me. Our chemistry was out of this world. That had to mean something. She deserved to be cherished. I could do that for her. I could do that for us.
Us. I tested it in my thoughts as I went through the motions of making the soup. I imagined different scenarios. I went over what I knew of her and her personality, and wondered if she’d change when I got to know her. And if she did, would I still want this?
We had a lot to learn about each other. Now that there wasn’t anything for me to hide, I could do that. I could tell her everything. And she could tell me more about herself. This could really happen if she came to develop feelings for me. But that was the catch. I’d seen her reaction to what I was. She had been horrified. Repulsed even. If she remained human … it might be a deal breaker, regardless of how she felt.
Sadness etched in but I tried not to dwell on the emotion. Instead I focused on what Erin and I had shared so far. What we could share if everything worked in our favor. A smell I once associated with home drifted around me. I grasped to it while time flew by. I stirred the soup, letting myself focus on what I was doing—providing. And it wasn’t just for myself. I was taking care of her. She’d see, and then she would choose me.
Shifting in the bed had me grabbing a bowl. Perfect timing.
As I poured the soup and headed for the room, her yawn in the distance made me grin even bigger. She was awake.
Quietly, I headed in. Her eyes were blinking slowly, still heavy with sleep, and she was hugging and slightly curled around my pillow. The sight had me coming to a stop, in awe. Even with her hair disheveled and haloed around her slightly flushed face, she was beautiful.
“Alex.” Erin lifted her head and it took me a few seconds to snap into reality.
“I made you some of my mom’s homemade chicken noodle soup. She thinks it’ll make you feel better.”
“You’re talking to your parents again?”
A grin came to her face as she fought to sit up. My steps were fast as I placed the soup on the bedside table and helped her.
“Yes. I went to visit them a few days ago. It was nice. I have you to thank for that. I have you thank for a lot more than you know.” I lifted my eyes to meet hers. They were so bright that I felt my grip tighten around her ribs. It took everything I had to break away and step back. “Anyway, they look forward to our dinner when you’re better.”
“Oh. Right.” Erin pushed the hair out of her face, almost looking confused. “I’ve been really sick. Am I…?” She swallowed hard, looking down at the bandage I’d placed over her wrist. “Was it the wolf? Am I like you now?”
The fear was so clearly visible in her eyes.
“I’m not sure. We won’t really know until the full moon.”
A silence took over the room as she nodded and stared blankly ahead. After a few seconds she blinked rapidly. “Did my eyes change? Mr. Morrison said while you were at the hospital, the nurse noticed in the midst of your fever that your eyes had changed. Did mine?”
I picked up the soup, coming to sit along the edge of the bed. “I don’t know. You really didn’t wake the first two days. If they changed, I didn’t see. Here, try to eat this. It’ll make you feel better.”
Erin went to reach for the bowl but stopped when she saw me lift the spoon. There was a moment I questioned whether I should be taking control or allowing her to lead. The answer was immediate. I wanted this—to feed her, to play this role. Her hand withdrawing had been a clear sign. Instinctually, she wanted this, too, and I wasn’t going to pull back now. Not when it was what I longed for.
I blew against the broth until I was sure it wouldn’t burn her. When Erin came forward and placed her lips around the spoon, there was a completeness in that. A power and purpose that sent every part of my being soaring.
“So good,” she whispered, moving closer.
Good? Yes. So many things about this moment were perfect.
I cooled the next bite, lifting it to her waiting lips. A moan filled the room and over and over she awaited my direction. She only moved forward when I indicated it was time. My mind ran with possibilities I shouldn’t have been considering in the moment, but I couldn’t help how the dominance in me was pushing through. I was testing her, dreaming up other ways to have her submitting to me.
“You seem to be feeling better.” I scooped another spoonful as Erin nodded.
“I am. Amazingly so, actually. I almost feel back to normal. I’m still a little shaky and weak, but nowhere near as bad as I was.”
Her eyes were trained on the spoon and I tried not to smile as I brought it to her lips.
“Then we’ll get you showered after this.”
“We’ll?”
I did smile then. “That’s right. I have to make sure you don’t have an accident.” She peered up at me as I slid the last of the soup into her mouth. When I placed the bowl down and scooped her into my arms, she didn’t argue.
“Did I thank you?” she asked, quietly. “I’m not sure what I would have done if you hadn’t looked after me. And that night…you saved me. Caleb would have let that thing kill me if it meant keeping his secret. You risked your life to make sure I was safe.”
“I’m not finished. He may have gotten away, but he won’t escape me the next time. And there will be a next time, Erin. We don’t work the same as humans. We…” I hesitated, relieved I could finally talk about this with her. “We tend to get obsessed with what we want. It’s like our brains refuse to believe or give up on what drives us. His motives right now are all he’s focusing on. They may ease over the next few weeks, but they’ll come back stronger than ever. He’ll return for you, and I’ll be waiting.”
I entered the bathroom and stood her up, turning on the water. Erin’s body was shaking as I began to undress her, and then myself.
Steam began to the fill the small room and I led her into the standup shower, pulling her close against me as I placed us both into the warm stream.
“Are you afraid of me?”
&n
bsp; Her eyes darted up to mine. “Should I be?” Her stare was a like a stab through the heart. I wanted to lie, but it was impossible with how intently she was watching. There was trust there, one I couldn’t betray. Not anymore. This was a clean slate. This was our beginning.
“I’m not sure. I used to think I was the worst thing for you. That I was the one who would end up taking your life. At first, I wanted to. But it all changed, seeing you threatened … hurting you was the last thing on my mind. I had to protect you. It was all I knew. The consequences that came with that were irrelevant when you were in danger.”
Erin’s features drew in as she began to think. “Do you think it will pass? Will next full moon be the same, or the one after that? When will I go from mate to meal?”
“Mate?” My head reared back and I realized that’s exactly what I wanted her as. I called her mine, even dreamed about the future, but never once did I think of titles.
Her mouth opened and slammed shut. “I’m sorry, I just thought... I don’t know what I’m thinking, I guess.” Her confusion was laced with pain. As if I’d rejected her when that was the last thing I wanted to do. As I began to speak, she spoke over me, pushing me away. “Not saying that we would ever be exclusive like that. Even if I do end up turning, I’d never expect you to drop the life you have going on to take care of or watch out for me. I’ll figure something out. I mean … maybe the sheriff needs more people.” Her lip curled. “Then I’d be forced to work with Caleb, but aren’t two detectives better than one? Then I can get back on track and really find this killer.”
She continued rambling, staring off to the side as she went on and on about a life that I didn’t seem a part of. She kept talking of finding her way in this town and what she would do if she was a wolf. I cursed my inability to respond quickly enough to her comment about being a mate.
“Erin.” I turned her face to look at me. “Enough of this. You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying here with me and that’s the end of it. You’re mine.”
Her mouth twisted and she threw me a look that told me she didn’t quite believe me.
“Hey.” I said, sternly. “Did you hear what I said? Mine.” My hands came up cup her cheeks and I moved in, pressing my lips into hers. One minute she was lightly kissing me back, the next, she was wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me forward, as she thrust her breasts against my chest. There was such need in her kiss. Such passion. Her legs buckled and I wrapped my arm around her, holding her steady.
“You’re still a little weak.”
“Just weak for you,” she breathed out, moving her hand to hold securely to the back of my neck.
A smile came to my face and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her again. Fuck, I was so hard for her. I wanted badly, regardless that I knew she was still sick. But I wouldn’t do that. Even if she did seem suddenly stronger.
As if something clicked in her mind, Erin blinked repeatedly, loosening her grip.
“What is it?”
“What? Oh … nothing. I think maybe I should go lie back down soon. I guess I’m weaker than I thought.”
But she wasn’t. Erin’s voice didn’t sound winded anymore, and her arms were lowering to cross over her chest. It only curbed my suspicions. She didn’t even need my support anymore, and her silence told me she was back in thought. It wasn’t long before she went right back to where she’d left off before. The police department—Caleb. It was as though she was looking to stay, but I just wasn’t sure what she was getting at. She was dazed. Rambling, again. Was her blood starting to force her mind to accept what it already knew? Was she like me now?
Chapter 23
Erin
I walked from one window to the next, pacing the living room as I took peeks through the curtains. Aside from the wind blowing softly against the trees, nothing stirred, not even the lone wolf that sat at the border of Alex’s yard as still as a statue. It put me on edge and even though Alex had assured me numerous times that the werewolf couldn’t come back until a week before or after a full moon, my mind was on alert. I constantly felt wired and anxious and I wasn’t sure why. Nerves? What I had gone through since I’d been here was more than most people could take, but my fears over becoming one of them made it even worse. I was analyzing every mood, every thought that ran through my head. If my pulse jumped, I wondered if it was at an irregular pace. My head turned at every sound and I questioned if I were more sensitive to them or not. In short, I was driving myself fucking insane. Insomnia was at an all-time high and although I was constantly in a state of go, I was exhausted.
The curtain fell as I let go and headed to the other window. I wasn’t halfway there before Alex’s voice made me jump.
“Erin, what are you doing?”
I turned to him, glancing from where my covers were on the sofa, to where he was standing at the beginning of the hallway. The pajama pants rested low on his hips and the hard muscles of his stomach had me shifting as I tried to turn my attention to his question.
“There’s a lone wolf out there. Do you think he’s watching me again? Is he going to report my location to the werewolf?”
Alex frowned and rubbed his eyes as he walked toward the window and glanced out. A few seconds went by before he stepped back. “He’s not here for you, he’s here for me. The pack is unstable now that I fought their Alpha. They’re confused.”
“They’re coming to you to lead them?”
His brow drew in and he quickly shook his head. “I know nothing about leading wolves, nor do I care to learn. They need to figure this out on their own. They’ll have to, once I kill the son of bitch who’s after you.”
I hugged my chest, fighting off the chill in the air. It’d been almost a week since I had been sick and although I felt fine, I couldn’t deny how easily the cold affected me.
“I’m sorry if I woke you, again. I’m hoping to hear something from Mrs. Castle tomorrow on a rental house she may have becoming available.”
Alex threw me a hard look. “We’ve talked about this. You’re staying here. At least until I find the wolf who’s after you.”
“And I told you that I’d stay here with you during the two weeks he’s likely to strike. I don’t see the issue? I mean, look at you? It’s almost three in the morning and this is the fourth consecutive night that I’ve woken you up. You can’t be alright with that.”
“It’s not a problem, Erin. You’re upset. If you’re upset, I want to be here to help you go through that. Now why don’t you come to bed and you can tell me about it.”
Tighter, I hugged to myself. Alex just mentioning the bed brought my body alive in ways I couldn’t deal with. I wanted him. I wanted him so much that it was driving me just as crazy as these sleepless nights. Maybe that’s what it was. Despite his cool reaction to my presumption about being his mate, I wanted to give myself to him, but I still had questions that were making me uncomfortable. Questions that stemmed from us being together before, and in the future.
“Erin.” His eyebrow rose and I quickly shook my head.
“I already told you, I can’t.”
“You can’t get in bed with me so we can talk?”
“Talking isn’t all we’ll be doing if we get into bed with each other. We both know that. We found out very quickly the second night after I was feeling better how fast things can escalate between us.”
“And that frightens you? You can’t catch what I have while I’m in human form, Erin. You’re safe with me.”
“How do you know?”
“Ah …. Now we’re getting somewhere.” He came forward. “We slept together before the full moon. You didn’t turn then, did you?”
“Well … no.”
“Nor will you. I wouldn’t put you at risk if I wasn’t positive. It’s only transmittable when I completely turn into a werewolf. Only then are you at risk of getting infected.”
Pain stung at me biting my bottom lip. God, I wanted to go. I wanted to feel his arms around me and his cock bur
ied deep inside of me.
His hand came out and when I didn’t immediately step forward, he crooked his finger and motioned me forward. “You want me—I’m fucking dying to have you. Stop denying what we both want and come let me taste you.”
A moan left my mouth and my foot lifted, only to pause.
“I can smell your arousal, Erin. Don’t make me come for you.”
“But…”
Alex lunged and had me lifted and locked in his arms before I could think of what I was going to say. Suction tugged at the side of my neck and I pushed my fingers into his hair, holding tight as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
“It’s more than what you are,” I managed in an uneven voice.
“You want this,” he said, breaking away.
“Too much.” My answer was rushed. It had him spinning for the room at a fast pace.
“Even better.”
I bounced on the mattress as his weight pinned me down. His lips traveling over my neck erased everything for the first time since I’d gotten better. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t speculate on what I should do or what was wrong. He lifted, grinding his hard cock on my stomach and I drifted away even more.
“You can battle your needs all you want, Erin, but never deny yourself this. Never refuse these cravings when we both know it’s me you want. Because I want you, too. Mine, remember?”
I gasped as his teeth tugged at the junction of my neck. It was so animalistic, so terrifying, yet thrilling now that I knew what he was. The combination was polar opposites and yet my trust that he wouldn’t physically hurt me was the only thing keeping from me fearing for my life.
Fingers grasped onto the lining of my pajama bottoms and I lifted the smallest amount, allowing him to rip them down. His quickly followed. Heat poured from his skin, warming me even more as he rubbed the underside of his thick length against my slit. My shirt was the next thing to go. The moment we were free of all clothing, both of us impatiently wrapped around each other. My legs tightened around his waist and I crushed my breasts into his chest as my arms tried to draw him closer.
WOLF (Wolf River Book 1) Page 20
