I took a few steps back, still eyeing his actions. He was pacing back and forth, occasionally rearing his head and clawing his paw into the earth. One by one, wolves began to appear from within the trees.
“He doesn’t want us to leave.” Erin broke away, moving a few feet forward before collapsing back down to her knees.
“Dammit, woman. Look up. He’s not alone. Not even close.”
Her hand paused in lifting and her fear filled the air so thick it was mouthwatering. I grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet as they stalked toward us with their heads low to the ground. Yelping came from the gray wolf and Erin added resistance as I pulled us back toward the cabin.
“I really think he’s trying to tell us something, Alex. Look at him. He doesn’t appear threatening.”
I was looking and I didn’t like the vibes I was getting. They were off and unreadable. He wasn’t threatening at the moment, but anything could happen.
“I’m not taking any chances and neither are you. Their behavior can change at the drop of a dime. What seems welcoming now can be an invitation to death. You’re not to get around any of them. Not today, or ever. If you want to find this werewolf, we will continue to look. But not through them.”
Chapter 27
Erin
The last day had been stressful between Alex and me. With the full moon only a week away, I could see the difference in his behavior. He was stressed and constantly hovering over me. My every move was watched. My every toss and turn in bed had him waking up and pulling me into him so he could wrap his arms and legs around me like a cage. There were no bounds to his protectiveness. Even sitting in the cabin, his eyes and ears took in everything. I was fascinated to watch just how focused he was, but it also scared me. Especially when it combined with my own fears of changing. And I would change. I knew it in my gut. I knew … because she had finally made herself known.
I sipped my coffee, trying to ignore the conflicting thoughts in my mind. They were growing louder each day. The prominent voice was my own. I’d question what I was doing or what I wanted to do and out of nowhere, an argument would ensue, just like before. But it was no longer the tone of my voice talking back. This one was similar, but darker and meaner. There was no question anymore. She was my wolf.
I was splitting, just like I’d got the impression before. There was no other word for it. My personality was being ripped right down the middle and I was becoming two people. The good me, and the bad. The conversations and arguments left me in a daze for far too long. Numerous times I caught Alex looking at me strangely, just as he was now, but dismissing what was happening wasn’t working. She wouldn’t let it go.
“He knows. He knows I’m here. His wolf can sense me.”
“Shut up,” I said mindlessly, taking another sip of my coffee.
Go to him. I want his wolf again. That’s who came to me this morning. God, he fucked me so good. Did you feel how rough he was? How dominant? That was for me, not you.
“Erin, are you okay?”
“What?” I blinked, shaking my head. “Oh, yeah, I’m good. Just thinking.”
“About what?”
I paused, not daring to tell him what was really happening within my head. “Do you want to go get the wood today for the greenhouse?”
“We already talked about that.” He narrowed his eyes. “We agreed we’d pick it up after we moved in your stuff.”
“Oh … right.”
I frowned, recalling I still had a few weeks before I needed to pick up my things. Since I’d already paid for the month, I was in no rush. But Alex was. He had wanted to move me in right away. I thought the time would give me the chance to make sure my decision was the right one. Now I wished I would have just gotten it over with. I wasn’t going anywhere. Even if Alex and I didn’t work out, I was stuck in this town forever. Not because I was afraid to leave, but because I didn’t want to. This was my home now, with or without Alex. My heart said with, but my wolf seemed to go back and forth. And it wasn’t by the day, but by the minute that she changed her mind.
“Shit,” I pulled at my sweater, suddenly realizing that I was becoming drenched in sweat. Air grew thicker and I was more irritable than ever. “How many logs did you throw on the fire? It’s so hot in here.” Again I jerked at my collar.
“Hot? Erin, it has to be in the low sixties. I’m actually quite comfortable.”
I stood, not wanting to believe his words. I was usually freezing with how cool he kept it. “Well, I’m not. Look at me. My hair is even starting to get wet. That’s not sixty degrees, Alex. It has to be warmer than that.”
Slowly, he rose, placing his hand against my forehead.
Tell him to stop touching me.
I ignored the voice as he looked down at me curiously.
Tell him if he isn’t going to touch me right, I want him to stop. Tell him. Tell him. Tell him. Heat increased until I was sure my skin was going to start melting. Anxiety was at an all-time high as I went over my condition. Alex’s hand moved to my cheek and then my neck. His wolf eyes took in everything making me even more skittish. My pulse was getting faster. Harder, with each beat. God, was I going to have a heart attack?
Tell him. Tell him! Tell him!
“Stop it!” My voice exploded through the room and I immediately slammed my hands over my ears. Tears raced down my face and I tried to catch my breath as I slowly lowered my arms. My chest was aching and I felt like I was going to be sick. It only increased as I brought my stare slowly up to Alex’s enraged face.
“You’re hearing something, aren’t you? How long?” With each step I took away from him, he matched it. “You were supposed to tell me if anything changed. Now how long have you heard her?”
My mouth opened to answer, but I couldn’t even think.
He’s too close. Tell him to stay away. I don’t like him right now.
“I don’t know.” My cries were getting heavier. “A few days, I guess? I thought it was just me at first. But … she started talking back and arguing with me this morning. I can’t stop it. She won’t shut up.”
I let Alex pull me into his arms as I gripped to his shirt in desperation. The ache in my chest was moving to my brain as I tried to block out the humming of her voice. But there was no stopping it. Now that he was touching me, the fire inside of me was getting worse. She was getting worse.
“You need to calm. What you’re feeling right now—the sweat, the anxiety, she’s causing it. It happens when they’re not happy. Their moods trigger your health. You have to tell me what set her off.”
My breaths were ragged as I tried to slow the sobs. How was I going to tell him that he was the cause? That my wolf wasn’t sure whether she liked him or not? I … loved him. God, I did. I fucking loved him more than anything and now she was going to come in and push him away.
“Erin, talk to me, baby.” He angled the chair out, taking a seat, and pulling me on his lap. Pain sliced through my side and I screamed and jerked in his arms. “Jesus.” He growled. “I need you to breathe. Shh, breathe.” The soothing tone did nothing to stop the havoc on my insides.
“Something’s happening to me.”
“She wants to change you, but she can’t. Not yet.”
Harder I cried as he held me.
“What can I do?” He brushed back my hair as she pushed against me crazily. My legs kicked out and my stomach twisted, sickeningly.
“It’s you,” I managed. “She … doesn’t want…”
Alex’s hand stilled and the look on his face broke my heart.
“She doesn’t like me?”
I grabbed tighter to his shirt, burying my face into his chest. His distinct smell called to me and ignited a mix of emotions. It was enough to distract her. The agony began to ease as the different scents began to register and categorizing. My mind didn’t understand it, even if my brain did.
“She likes your wolf,” I whispered. “But…”
“She doesn’t like me,” he finished.
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“Not when we argue.”
I sat up, wrapping my arms around my waist. The room titled and I reached out through the shift.
“Don’t push yourself.” Alex wrapped his hand around the far side of my neck, drawing my face to his. “I knew I needed to watch myself. I knew the chances were high with how you were acting, but I didn’t expect her to show so soon. She’s—”
“Mean,” I broke in. “I don’t like her.”
He pulled back enough to meet my eyes. “She’ll become more controllable over time. In the meantime, you have to communicate with me. I need to know what makes her happy. If I can’t win her over…” He trailed off and the sadness etched back in. “I want this. I want us.”
“I do, too.”
Lips pressed into mine, pulling away, slowly.
“Tell me everything you know about her so far.”
A twinge to my side had me jerking and breathing through the pain. “She liked how you were this morning. She said it was your wolf … fucking her. Not me. She likes your dominance and how rough you are. But not when we argue. That’s when she completely changes her mind.”
“Does she tell you to leave me?” Fear was back in his tone. It ignited my own worst nightmare. Would she run me away from him? It was a scary thought.
“Not exactly. She just doesn’t want you to touch me. When I didn’t listen to her is when the pains began.”
“Okay. How is she right now?”
Even though I didn’t want to, I felt inside for her. It was so distinct, suddenly. Like a separate person living within. Searching her out was easy enough. She was part of me. I could almost imagine her waiting impatiently for her time until she could tear herself free of my body. It frightened the hell out of me. But it was my new reality. That’s exactly what she would be doing.
“She’s waiting. She’s watching you.” I paused as I tried to escape her presence. “I don’t like this,” I rushed out. “I want it out of me.” I knew I sounded ridiculous, but the truth was suddenly too much. A claustrophobic feeling surrounded me that I couldn’t escape. The need to claw into my skin to try to remove the sensation was terrifying. It was like the multiple PCP cases I’d been a part of in my earlier years. I felt like a junkie fighting invisible hallucinations. But mine were real.
“Come here.” Alex drew me in as he began rocking us. “I know what you’re feeling, but I promise this stage will fade. Your wolf will become part of you and you’ll soon forget what it’s like to not have her with you. Keep that to heart and know that no matter how hard this is for you, I’ll be with you through it all.”
“And if she doesn’t want that?” Tears blinded me at the thought.
“I will win her over. I just need you to give me time. She may have the urge to run, Erin. Promise me no matter how you feel, you won’t let her control you that way.”
Would I have a choice? Would she threaten to break free from me if I didn’t give her the distance she needed? And what would that mean if she did? Would I kill, then? Possibly try to kill Alex? There were so many questions.
“Erin.” Alex’s voice turned deep as he made me look at him. “I know you’re scared right now, but you have to trust me. Things are going to get worse before they get better. She’s going to test her limits. You’re the only one who can stop her from ruling your actions. You’re strong. I sensed that from the beginning. You can do this.”
I nodded, breathing through the stirring inside of me. This was day one. Two more weeks and hopefully she’d back off like Alex’s wolf.
“I’ll try my hardest.”
“Good.” He kissed my forehead and the need to snarl had me gritting my teeth. She didn’t seem to like sweet, or the fact that he was giving me advice concerning her.
Alex helped me to my feet and I glanced at the clock dreading the time.
“How much longer do you have?”
“I have to meet Mr. Morrison in an hour. He wants to go over what I’ve learned from my conversations with Dr. Chan.” I paused, feeling even sicker at the mess I’d created. “I’m sure he’ll want to talk about this new plan he’s come up with on catching the werewolf, too. It’s going to be so hard trying to convince him that what he’s looking for doesn’t exist. He knows, Alex. He’s not stupid. He saw my fear that night. I can say bear all I want, but he’s not going to believe me. Not after how in shock I was.”
“Did you come out and say werewolf?”
My head shook. “No. We didn’t talk about what I’d seen. He was given the news and that’s when he and the parents speculated and we headed into the forest for the search. The sheriff told me that night that he’d take care of speaking with him.”
“He has no proof, then. Just stick to the story. It’s all we can do.”
Easier said than done. I’d already told Dr. Chan what I had seen. Now he was planning on flying out any day and there was no way I could hide that from Alex. Guilt had my stomach cramping and I pushed my palm into the area, trying to get it to stop.
“I think you should cancel your appointment with Gregory. You’re not well.”
My head snapped up. “I can’t cancel, I already did that the day before yesterday. I need to get this over with. Each day is going to get worse. You said so yourself. If I prolong this another two weeks, he’s going to know something is wrong.”
“Then I’m going.”
“Alex, this is my work. What will Mr. Morrison think if I bring you? I’m sure word is already getting around about us dating. He already suspects something may be going on with you. If we show up together, it’s not going to look good.”
An invisible pressure rocked the room and my wolf roared inside of me, pushing to the front. Whether she was ready to fight or enjoyed the power display, I wasn’t sure. It was all so startling that it took me a minute to process what had happened.
“I don’t like it. He can suspect me all he wants, but what happens if he turns on you? What if thinks you’ve been infected? I need to be there.”
Gold flickered in his eyes, growing brighter the heavier he breathed. I bit the inside of my bottom lip as arousal sparked. Yes, my wolf liked when this part of him was triggered. I could almost see and feel her purring and rolling around seductively as she begged for more of his attention. His possession.
“There she is,” he whispered in fascination. “Her scent is still weak, but fuck, I have it now. God, yes.”
Alex’s eyes were narrowed as he slowly stalked toward me. Rarely did he let his wolf rule, but I knew who was in charge at the moment. His eyes were too bright and his face…he looked like he wanted to eat me alive. When his hand locked around my throat and he pushed me against the wall, I was shocked, but I couldn’t help but moan through the pulsing of my clit.
“Do you feel that, baby? Do you feel her quieting?” He leaned in, licking over my lips while he stayed close.
“Yes.”
“She wants me right now, doesn’t she?”
His teeth pulled at my lower lip and I tried not to shift on my feet as the lust became uncontrollable. “She does. She’s waiting.”
“And what about you? Are you waiting, too?” He jerked down my pajama bottoms, placing his fingertips over the top of my folds. In slow circles he began to tease my clit.
“You know I am.”
“Kick off those fucking pants and spread your legs.” The grip grew firmer, hindering my air supply the slightest amount. I paused, but obeyed, stepping out of the material and opening my legs wide for him. A deep inhale sounded and he let out a pleasurable sound as he went back to touching me.
“So wet. So ready to be fucked. You want your cock?” He got closer, angling my face to the side with his palm against my cheek. He kept it there, pinning my head to the wall.
“Give it to me,” I moaned.
His touch left my pussy and nails dug into my inner thigh, squeezing until his digits became still. “You will not order me. Say it nicer. Ask.”
“Can I have your cock? Please.�
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“Your cock,” he corrected. “You are mine, and I am yours. Your pussy is mine, and my cock is yours. Now say it right.”
An impatient whimper slipped free as his fingers let go and he began to move them higher.
“Please let me have my cock. I don’t have much time. Please.”
Alex moved me back to face him. “Are you trying to rush me?”
“Please,” I begged. My hips arched as his touch glided over my slit and began to tease my wet entrance. In dips, he’d breach just within my channel, only to rub along the outside. I gripped to his wrist tightly with both of my hands as he lowered his placement on my throat.
“After I fuck you, I’m going to let you leave for your meeting. But I’m going to follow you to Mr. Morrison’s. You’re not going to see me. You’re not going to know where I am. But I’ll be close. I’m always going to be close.”
I was turned to face the wall and I dug my nails into the wood as his fingers pushed into my pussy. I could feel him pulling down his pants and the wait was killing me. Killing her. She was so happy at his behavior. Excited that it was him.
Alex withdrew and pressure eased against my opening, stretching me wide with his size. I screamed as he plunged into me. The depth brought ecstasy. He was buried so deep that I gasped through the shock.
“Is this what you both need?” His arm wrapped around my waist, lifting until I couldn’t reach. My legs flailed and I pushed my palms harder into the wall while he forced thrust hard, once.
“Oh … God. Yes. Fuck me. Fuck—”
I let out a loud sound. He began to thrust, again, moving his free hand back and forth over the top of my slit. A growl rumbled between us making my wolf flutter in excitement. Faster, he slammed into me, building me up and pleasuring me in ways I hadn’t known. He’d been rough before, but this was different. He teetered on my limits. I wasn’t sure I could take this sort of force if he continued
WOLF (Wolf River Book 1) Page 24
