“Luke,” she whispers, tears running down her face, and I can’t take it anymore, I can’t watch her heart break right in front of me.
Lifting onto my knees, I then shuffle closer and place my palms on her thighs. Our faces level as I tell her, “I’d never hurt you, darlin’. Fuckin’ never.”
“I know.”
“But I get your pain. I understand it.”
She nods and squeezes her eyes closed. “He took everything from me.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“He did.”
“No.” I cup her face in my hands. “He may have taken that part of you without you having a choice, but you have a one now. You always have a choice with me, angel.”
She opens her eyes, the blue shining brighter as the tears mist over her eyes. “I do?”
“Yeah, darlin’, you do.”
We stare at each other, neither of us saying a word until she whispers, “You saved your mom just like you saved me.”
“I didn’t save you,” I tell her before pressing my lips against hers. “You saved me. You have no idea where I was in my head when we met, but one look in your eyes and I knew… I knew then my life would never be the same.”
LILY
You saved me.
It goes around and around in my head as I stare at him, his ice-blue eyes tearing up.
“I love you,” I whisper, my voice raw from all the crying. I’ve only said it to him once, and even though I meant it then, I mean it even more now.
He shakes his head as I place my hand on his face, the scratch of his scruff whispering around us.
“You can’t.” He pauses as his eyes close. “Not after what I just told you.” His bows his head and I watch as his chest heaves when he tries to take a breath. “I’m a monster. A murderer.”
Torment spears through my chest at the way he’s talking, and I grip his face harder.
“You were at the end of your tether,” I reason, but he doesn’t look up, not until I push my fingers through his hair, pulling a little.
When he opens his eyes, I have to push down the lump in my throat at the agony he shows me.
“I’m just like him,” he croaks out. “I lose it the same way he did. But the difference is, I took someone’s life.”
“No.” He pulls away, but I don’t let him get far. I throw myself at him knowing he’ll catch me—he’ll always catch me no matter what. “You’re nothing like him, Luke.” His throat bobs as he swallows. “You’re beautifully broken... just like me.” I watch him, staring into his eyes as I show him the truth. “You protect the people you care about, all he did was hurt them.”
He looks down at his hands that are resting on my waist. “It’s there… all the time.”
My heart breaks at the sound of his sad voice. “What’s there?”
“The blood,” he whispers, lifting his head up as a traitorous tear escapes his eye and trails a path down his cheek. “I killed him.” He blinks. “I had no choice. I had to kill him.” Watching his anguish is almost too much. “I had to get him away from her before… before he took her from me. She was fading, Lily.” He rests his forehead against mine. “Just like you were.”
I close my eyes, my throat not able to move as I let out a sob, pushing myself closer to him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders before leaning my face into his neck.
I feel his chest heave on each breath as he tries to catch it. “I’m afraid,” he tells me, his voice low. “Afraid of what I’ll do if you get hurt again.” I breathe him in, my heart back to beating normally. “I won’t be able to stop myself, darlin’, and the worst thing is I won’t regret it… just like I don’t with my dad.”
I hold him tighter, feeling like the last wall between us was just knocked down. There’s nothing between us now, and yet I know I still have to do something before I can truly move on, before I can be the woman I always wanted to be growing up. The woman I dreamed about—the one with a carefree laugh and a smile on her face that isn’t forced.
“Is he still here?” I ask into Luke’s neck. He stiffens before I say, “Aiden.”
“I told the guys to take him to the warehouse.” He rubs his hand up and down my back. “But you don’t have to talk to him. I can tell him to leave and—”
“No.” I pull back and frame his face with my hands. “I need to do this now. I need to tell him and then move on with my life… our life.”
“Our life,” he repeats, his lips lifting into that smile he only gives me. The one that tells me he loves me, the one that screams he’ll protect me no matter what.
I move forward just before Luke does, each of us closing the distance, melting that bit of space and coming together as one.
It’s not the epic kind of kiss you see in movies or read of in books, but it’s one full of promises and love. One I’ll never forget as long as I live.
We hold each other for another few minutes until Luke’s cell goes off displaying Ty’s name on the screen. He looks at me, a question in his eyes, and when I nod, he answers the call and says, “We’re on our way over.”
Lifting, he takes me with him, my legs still wrapped around his waist and I hold onto him like a spider monkey, not wanting the one safe thing in my life to be taken from me. He doesn’t say a word as he carries me down the stairs and out the door.
I hear the gravel as he walks us to the warehouse, and I know I should get down and walk in there like the strong woman I want to be. But I can’t bring myself to move from the safety of Luke’s arms.
He turns and pushes the warehouse door open, but I keep my head buried in his neck until I feel him sitting down.
“You let her talk,” Luke begins, his voice gruff. “You let her tell you everything and then if you have questions, we’ll answer them, but when she’s had enough, you leave.” He pauses, and I know what’s coming before he says, “Got it?”
“Yeah,” Aiden answers, and the sound of his voice is what pulls me from the hold I have on Luke.
I turn in his lap where he’s seated in Ty’s chair at the meeting table, all the guys to our left. I look at each of them in turn, seeing the steel behind their eyes, but most of all the silent support they give me without saying a word.
Finally, I turn to face Aiden, Luke’s hands wrapped around my waist, his breath hot on my neck. I play with the finger his wedding ring is on, twirling it around and around before I open my mouth and the first words I say are, “He hurt me.”
Aiden’s face falls as his mouth opens, but when his gaze moves to Luke, he snaps it closed again.
“It started the day you left for college.” I swallow. “He took me into his office and used his cane on me.” I push the memories back, not willing to let them in right now. “It got worse the longer you were away and each time you’d come home, I’d know because he wouldn’t touch me for a week beforehand.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, leaning forward, his hands clenched on top of the table.
Luke growls, but I answer him anyway. “I couldn’t… it’d only make everything worse.”
“It wouldn’t—”
“It would,” I tell him, my voice firm. “But it wasn’t until the last time you visited that he took it even further.” That lump appears in my throat again and I can’t seem to get the words past my lips—they’re stuck, not willing to come forth.
The silence surrounds us, only the sounds of everyone’s breathing in the room until Aiden bangs his fist down and pushes his chair back. The sudden movement has everyone taking a step forward, Ty moving around to the other side of the table on my other side.
“What the hell did he do to you?” he shouts, his face turning red.
“He…” Why can’t I say it? I told everyone the second day I was here, and yet now I can’t get it past my lips. I take a breath, willing the words to come forth as I open my mouth. “He raped me.”
“No,” Aiden breathes out, his face paling.
“I escaped… Luke helped me escape.” H
e squeezes me a little tighter. “Until he took me again.”
Aiden flops down in his chair, his gaze not moving from mine. “How did I not know?” he asks, but I know he’s not asking me—he’s asking himself.
“The first time was nothing compared to what he and Jonah did to me.” I look down at the burns on my arms that are almost healed but will leave scars behind. At least those are the ones I can see, it’s the invisible ones that will break me if I let them.
“They...” I choke on a sob. “They did…” The tears fall down my face, nothing to stop them and when the lump in my throat becomes too much, I turn to Luke, shaking my head.
“He paraded her in front of everyone at the church,” Luke says, not taking his eyes off mine, keeping us both grounded. “Told everyone they found her beaten, but they didn’t because they did that to her. He was gonna marry her to Jonah on her birthday, but they wanted their fun first.” A muscle ticks in Luke’s jaw, a growl coming from someone behind me. “They locked her in the basement.” I close my eyes, not willing to look at Luke. “I’m sure you can come up with your own conclusions as to what they did to her.”
“Oh, God,” Aiden says, his voice utterly broken. Part of me is glad he finally sees it now. “I never should have left you with him.” My eyes whip open before I turn my head to face him. He stands up causing Ty to step toward him, but it doesn’t faze him. “I should have known after what he did to Mom.”
I swallow, my limbs heavy. “You knew what he did to her?”
“A is for apple,” he croaks out. “B is for banana.” I smile as he starts to recite the food game we used to play every night. “C is for cucumber.” He takes another step toward me. “I wasn’t trying to make you hungry every night, Lil. I was trying to drown out their noises.” My chin wobbles as I try to stand, Luke’s hands on my hips. “I swear to you, I thought he wouldn’t touch you. I thought… I don’t know what I thought.”
“You thought I was safe,” I tell him before stepping out of Luke’s hold.
“I’m so sorry, Lil,” he says, his voice breaking on the last word, and that’s all it takes for me to take four steps and into the safety of his arms.
I press my head against his chest as I wrap my arms around his waist. He holds me tight, his head resting on top of mine as he continues naming foods to the alphabet, taking me back to the nights he would sleep by my side, saying he was cold in his room. He tried to protect me all these years and I never even knew.
“He won’t touch you again, sis. I promise.”
“Damn right he won’t,” Luke growls from somewhere behind me.
I turn around, not moving from my brother’s arms as I stare at Luke, his ice-blue eyes softening as he looks at me and I know I’ll never be safer than I am right now.
LILY
“Come on, darlin’, we’re gonna be late.” I roll my eyes as I look at myself in the mirror before adjusting the light-pink camisole I’m wearing and pull at the waist of my jeans.
I look over myself, taking in my blond hair that flows over one shoulder, my face clear of makeup, my eyes wide but most importantly, shining. I lean closer, examining them, wondering when that happened. When did the darkness evaporate and make way for the happiness shining through them?
My head turns toward the bathroom door and I know without a doubt it’s him. He’s the reason they’re bright and alive now. I step toward the door as a smile lifts the corners of my lips before I open it up and lean against the doorframe.
Luke sits on the edge of the bed, his gaze trained on the door. I swallow as he tracks me from the Vans on my feet, up my legs, stopping briefly where the material of my camisole meets my jeans before he continues up.
He stands, his movements slow and measured as he steps toward me. I can’t help but look at him the same way, the combat boots on his feet and over his dark-blue jeans. I worry my bottom lip when I come to the white t-shirt, the tattoos that cover his arms and shoulders peeking out of the sleeve at his bicep.
I tilt my head back when he stops in front of me, his ice-blue eyes not moving from where they’ve settled on mine.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, his hand cupping the side of my neck, his thumb rubbing at the base of my throat. “So damn beautiful.”
I swallow again, my throat drier than it’s ever been.
The air swirls around us, the atmosphere making me want to step back but forward at the same time.
His head dips and I close my eyes, expecting him to press his lips against mine, but when I feel them on my shoulder, I pull in a shaky breath.
“Luke,” I whisper, not sure what I’m trying to say.
He doesn’t answer me, instead his hands move to my hips, grasping me and pulling me closer to him, his hard chest colliding with mine as his lips continue a path up to my neck.
My hands move, pushing through his hair as I tilt my head back. For the first time I feel like I’m in control. I can say no at any stage and I know he’ll stop. There won’t be any hesitation.
Stepping back, he takes me with him and when my eyes open, all I can see is his bed. My body freezes, my muscles so tight I’m afraid they’ll snap inside me as I reel back. My brain says yes but my body says no.
He whips his head up, his gaze meeting mine, the blue darker than I’ve ever seen before. He pauses, watching me for what feels like a lifetime, but in reality, is only a second before he stands to his full height and pushes his hand through his hair, pulling at it.
“I’m sorry,” he croaks, his voice deep.
“It’s okay.” I step back, gripping the edge of the camisole. “I just…” My gaze flicks to the bed. “I’m not ready.”
He shakes his head, his eyes clearing as he takes hold of my hand. “I know, darlin’, I should have held back—”
“No,” I interrupt. “I don’t want you to hold back, I just need to take it slow for now.”
Understanding flashes over his face as pulls me closer. “I moved too fast.”
I want to shout that he shouldn’t have to be worried about moving too fast. We’re married, and to normal people this would have happened several times over, but I’m not normal, am I? I’m that person, the one who’s scared to show too much skin in case someone takes it the wrong way. I’m the person who lets her past cripple her. The person I never wanted to be.
Shaking my head, I purse my lips. “I don’t want to take it slow,” I say, contradicting myself and causing Luke’s brow to rise.
He watches me with his same assessing gaze that I’ve become used to, and I see the moment he understands what I’m saying because he pulls me toward him, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I get it,” he says simply. “But you don’t need to worry about it right now.” He takes a breath. “All you need to do is hold my hand and walk over to Ty’s. That’s all you need to think about this second. Got it?”
My lips lift, my chest deflating, the nerves expelling from my body. “Got it.”
He waits another beat before pressing his lips against mine in a chaste kiss and pulling me out of the room and the house and across the compound.
My gaze wanders over to the gates, making sure no one is standing there, and when Luke sees me watching, he pulls me closer, putting his arm around my waist.
“He’s not there,” he whispers as we walk up the steps to Ty’s house.
I nod but still look back before Luke opens the door and waves me inside where I immediately halt. My eyes widen at what’s in front of me. A banner covers the entryway with “Congratulations, Lily & Luke,” balloons everywhere, and when I turn, I see a three-tier cake sitting in the middle of the dining table, food surrounding it.
“They’re here!” Eli shouts, but I can’t move my gaze from the table and the cake that looks suspiciously like a wedding cake.
“What’s going on?” I ask, my voice small as the door closes with a click causing me to turn around.
“I know we got married for reasons you’re not meant to,” Luke starts,
stopping in front of me. “And I’ll be honest; when you said yes, I never thought I’d be here, standing in front of you and not wanting to let you go.”
I frown, not understanding what he’s doing as he pulls something out of his pocket. “Luke?”
“We never got the ceremony with our friends and family.” He kneels, holding out a box and my eyes start to water. “We never got the party afterward, the cutting the cake, the first dance.” I hold my hand over my mouth. “Lily…” He looks up at me. “We’re already married but I need you to know I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He opens the box, revealing a diamond ring. “Will you?”
“Will I what?” I ask through my tears.
“Spend the rest of your life with me… but not because you have to, because you want to.”
I look from him to the ring and back, my hand moving to my chest and rubbing. There’s not one doubt in my mind how I feel and what I want, but when his eyes flash with uncertainty, I realize he doesn’t know. He doesn’t get how I feel about him, and that’s my fault.
“That day,” I start, moving closer to him. “When you asked me, I knew why you were doing it, but I didn’t say yes because of that.” I take a deep breath as I place my hand on his face where it comes to my chest with him kneeling. “I said yes because I loved you even then. I loved the way you looked at me, the way you made me feel, but most of all, I loved how you let me be me, how you didn’t for one second doubt who I was or what I said.”
“You did?” he asks.
“I did.”
“And now?”
A tear slips down my cheek, rolling down my neck. “Now I love you more than I did that day. And tomorrow I’ll love you even more. So, the answer is yes.” I nod for good measure. “Yes, I’ll spend the rest of my life with you.”
The air stills as he stands up slowly and pulls the ring out of the box, but I don’t take my focus off him as he slips it on my finger, stopping when it meets my wedding band.
There’s a beat of silence before he grabs me, yanking me to him and slamming his lips down on mine. Everything fades away as he coaxes my mouth open with his tongue and a moan slips free. My hands work their way up the back of his t-shirt, my fingers spreading out on his tense muscles.
Catching Teardrops (MAC Security Series Book 5) Page 28
