“Me, too,” he said, nodding his head solemnly.
“Is that where you want to go first?”
“Yes, then the bears. Like Murray.”
“You got it, C-Man, like Murray.” Parker winked at her over the boy’s head.
He was rapidly turning her into a pile of mush. As they strolled, Cullen alternated from walking between them to dashing ahead. He loved other kids and had no problem talking to anyone they came across. This was no longer the scared child she’d first encountered in her garage.
In the area for the large cats, his ohhs and ahhs made her fall harder for the little boy. Although hovering close by, Parker allowed Cullen to explore. Other women and some men couldn’t help but stare at him.
She didn’t blame them. That man is fine.
While running, Cullen pitched forward and fell on the concrete. Skylar headed for him immediately, but Parker had reached Cullen and crouched before him. While she wasn’t in a position to overhear the words between them, there was no mistaking the care and gentleness moving back and forth between her guys.
My guys?
Crap. She was worse off than she’d initially thought. Everything she’d been worried about was coming true. Becoming attached. Being unable to simply look at this in black and white. The lines had become muddled, and she loved the thought of being a family again. But not with just anyone. Cullen and Parker. She’d fallen into this mess, and it was going to gut her when it fell apart and was taken away.
Parker never looked away from Cullen as he lifted him back to his feet. His muscles flexed, showing off his impressive body and strength. It wasn’t hard to witness what he brought to his job. But right now, with this boy—who might not even be his son—he was incredible. Parker dusted him off and looked over the injuries. There was an undisguised love in his eyes and his tone. Parker wiped his fingers over Cullen’s eyes, moments before the boy did it himself and nodded.
She wasn’t the only one who was going to have a hard time if it came back that Cullen wasn’t his. Parker loved him, even if he didn’t say it.
Cullen ran back to the enclosure. Parker rose with an easy push to his feet.
Skylar averted her gaze the moment he glanced in her direction. Him witnessing how he made her feel, especially when it pertained to Cullen, wasn’t anything she needed.
He strode to her and straddled the backless bench she’d claimed for herself. Leaning forward, he brushed back some hair from her shoulder, exposing her ear and neck. “You’re driving me crazy, baby. Watching you is turning me into a randy teenager. How are you doing? Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
Her entire body trembled as he pressed his lips to hypersensitive skin.
“Let’s go.” He helped her up. “Someone is excited to see more animals.”
Yeah, someone.
Such a kid at heart.
…
Parker dropped their lunch trash in the receptacle. Even from this distance, he could pick up on the husky laughter of one Skylar Radford. Even here. At the zoo. He was so in tune with her, it was as if there existed a single line from her to him. It fucking scared him just how much he was coming to depend on her.
I’m a single man playing at being engaged.
Even thinking that, the words sounded, off. Wrong.
When he’d been called “Papa,” that had been a blow he hadn’t been expecting. He’d already lost his heart to this kid; there wasn’t any way to prevent that. He understood now how people changed when they held a child, their child, in their arms for the first time.
Right now, Cullen sat on Skylar’s lap, chatting away as he pointed in the direction of the aviary.
This was a vision offering him a chance at forever. His son’s sun-kissed skin and the rich chocolate-brown hair melded perfectly with the riotous natural curls in varying shades of brown and black on Skylar as well as her smooth dark skin.
The entire plan had shifted. The ruse had altered. It had become so much more and far faster than he thought possible.
Skylar was his first thought in the morning and his final at night. Cullen a close second, but he was trying desperately to keep the boy at a distance, in case the results came back that Gemma had lied.
He had the letter at home, but hadn’t been ready to open it. The boy had come to be such an important part of his life, and he wasn’t ready to chance losing him. Whatever words were on that paper had the power to change his life. He wasn’t ready to face that. Not yet. Even though the longer this kept on, the harder it was going to be for all involved.
He removed his hat and shoved a hand through his hair. Control had been taken from him. And he wasn’t sure he was on board with that.
On one hand he was, because he wasn’t ready to admit or accept how much she’d come to mean to him. On the other, he wasn’t ready to give up the single life.
Was he really, though? He’d spent a long time longing for that woman right there. Not taking the ones who offered themselves up to him, wanting only her.
He moved closer as another boy stopped to talk to Cullen.
“I have a daddy and a mommy, but Daddy couldn’t come.” The boy sneered down his nose at Cullen. Who, like him, didn’t have any problem standing up to a challenge.
“My papa is here.” Cullen pointed at him, getting another smile from him. Then he pointed to Skylar. “My mama.” One hundred percent proprietary claim in that tone. Parker nearly laughed, because he felt the same way.
Skylar stiffened slightly, but he caught it.
“Come on, Daniel, we have to get going.” The boy’s mom shepherd him away.
“Skylar?”
“Not sure why Cullen said that. Sorry.” There was something in her tone that was far more important to address.
Longing? Pain?
“Are you okay?” Needing to see her expressive face, he turned her toward him. She couldn’t hide the truth from him.
The shimmery tears lingered before she got them under control.
“Of course.” There was forced cheer in her tone, and it ripped at him like talons along his belly.
He drew Skylar tight to him. “Stop lying to me, baby. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
And he sure as fuck wanted to be the one to slay all her dragons.
Cullen wedged his way between them. “Me, too.”
Parker lifted him and never released Skylar, either. Cullen giggled as he kissed them both, Skylar first.
“Mama. Papa.” Then he wrapped his arms around Skylar’s neck, leaning toward her. She took him and finally stepped back.
“I’m not your mama, Cullen. I’m Skylar.”
She put him down, studiously ignoring Parker. He heard the hitch in her voice and tugged one of her natural curls. That got her attention.
He despised the sadness in her eyes she struggled to hide. So he winked.
Her smile, while slow, came.
“’Kay, Mama. Ready.” Cullen took her hand and began walking.
Parker reluctantly released her hair and appeased himself by taking her free hand. Dipping close, he whispered, “That’s your name now, it seems.”
Parker liked it. More and more, he’d come to view Skylar in that role as opposed to Gemma. This woman here, with him, never failed to have a smile for Cullen or make one come to his face. She was unfailingly patient with him, never getting mad at all his questions. And C-Man did have a ton of questions.
“Guess so.” Her words were clipped.
The rest of the day was full of laughs, photos—as many as he could finagle—and more laughter. His leg hurt like hell, reminding him he wasn’t close to passing his physical, but it was worth every ache.
“Tired, Mama.”
“I’ll carry you, Cullen.”
His son frowned and shook his head. “No, wan
t Mama.”
Skylar gazed at him. “I don’t carry whining boys.”
His lip trembled. “P’se Mama.” Cullen put his arms up toward her.
Parker held his breath at another flash of pain.
She lifted him and tossed him up twice before kissing him. “I can’t say no when you ask so nicely.”
Cullen squealed and returned her kisses with as much fervor as existed within his tiny body. Not that Parker blamed him. Content in her arms, the boy burrowed into her, his face against her neck.
“Mama smells good.” Another yawn. He’d be sleeping shortly.
At the truck, he put a very tired boy in his car seat. He turned and closed the door to find Skylar had already climbed in. With the tool belt and army men close, Cullen gave a smile. And closed his eyes.
He shot her a glare, then lifted himself in.
“I am capable of holding a door for you.”
“I’m aware. Just like I’m aware your leg is bothering you, but you won’t stop being you. I am able to get in my own truck.”
He grunted, determined not to get into a fight about his ability to handle PT and life. As he drove home, she continually flexed her injured hand as if still testing how much she could handle. He didn’t like how it still bothered her. If he could do more than carry the wood for her, he would, but he couldn’t.
I hate feeling helpless. And he did, in all three of these situations. Cullen’s was out of his hands, the fate resting on that paper. Skylar’s, he couldn’t do the work for her. And his own future in Recon—he had to pass and get his physical therapist to sign off.
…
The shower was warm and steamy after she killed the water. After wiping off her face, Skylar tucked the towel around her and padded to stand before the mirror.
Cullen had been sleeping when they returned, and she didn’t like not saying goodbye to him at night, but she was too emotional to deal with Gemma.
Too exposed.
Even hours later, his calling her “Mama” ripped her raw. As she stared at her reflection, tears welled before slipping down her cheeks. She gripped the edges of the counter so hard she didn’t doubt there would be marks on her palms.
“I never thought I’d be called ‘Mama’ again. And for it to be done by Cullen…”
She exhaled sharply and squared her shoulders.
“I can do this. So what if I’m nothing more than a glorified babysitter with benefits. Amazing benefits.” She touched her index fingers to the corners of her eyes, dismissing the lingering liquid drops.
I have to get myself under control, because Parker will be back. And he’s too observant to hide anything from.
Thunder rolled as she stepped from the bathroom and made her way to her bedroom. Storms. She loved them.
After tugging on her orchid lace hipster panties, she drew on her lounge pants of off-white fuzziness, covered in blue and gray owls. Her oversize pale lemon-yellow shirt had nothing on it, but hung off one shoulder. She retreated to the front and let Alpin out to take care of his needs before the storm arrived.
Once he was back in and on his bed, she turned on some cello music and picked up her crossword puzzle book. Opening it to her latest, she got to work. She hadn’t taken down the hair she’d gathered off her neck for the shower.
Losing herself in what was her downtime, she paused when her skin peppered with goose bumps, and she looked up. Parker stood there, by the door, arms and legs crossed, watching her with an unblinking familiarity.
“When did you come in? I didn’t hear you.” Alpin wasn’t any help—he remained crashed on his bed.
“A bit ago. God, Skylar, I could watch you all day. You’re so fucking beautiful.”
His words sailed through her on liquid heat. She gave a small shake of her head and was about to tell him to stop pushing compliments when they were alone, but she noticed something about him.
The man before her wasn’t the confident man she’d come to know, and dare she say it, care about. Perhaps even love. She saw something else in him he didn’t show the world. Out in public he was one way, but here, with her or with her and Cullen, he was different. He watched her, and it wasn’t just in a sexual way. Like he didn’t want to miss something, and if he looked away, he was afraid he might.
“What’s going on?” She put her pencil in the book and closed it, giving him her undivided attention.
“Results are back.”
Heart thundering in her chest, Skylar rose and walked to him, took his hand in hers, and led him back to the couch, stopping on the way to lower the volume of the music she’d been playing, Sheku Kanneh-Mason.
Here it was, the reason for this entire sham. Why he was in her house.
This was the end of what they had. Right?
“Do you want to tell me what it said?”
He pulled the letter from his back pocket. “Haven’t opened it yet.”
She canted her head to the right. “And you don’t want to?”
“Not alone.”
“I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave.”
He wound his fingers around hers and gave a squeeze.
“Can I ask you something before you open it?”
Those amazing green-blue eyes of his latched onto her. “What?”
“Do the results matter? Will it change how much you love Cullen?”
“No. I won’t love him any less.”
“And will you suddenly stop being there for him?”
He glared at her. “Never. I will always be there for him.”
She brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it. “There you go, then. It doesn’t matter what it says. Your decision is made.” She refused to make this about her and where it would put her in the grand scheme of things. This was her time to be there for Parker. He needed her support, not her pain and fears.
“Gemma could take him from me.”
Skylar weighed how best to say what she wanted to convey. These were dangerous waters she treaded through.
“Gemma could have kept him from you completely. She didn’t. Whatever that paper says, Parker, try to think she does want what’s best for Cullen.” Even she had a hard time swallowing that, but reminded herself this wasn’t about her.
“I thought you didn’t like her.”
That was putting it mildly. “I don’t. At all. But this isn’t about my dislikes.” She let him go and rocked back slightly. “Do you want a beer?”
“Yes.”
“Be right back.”
She hurried off before she opened her mouth again and got him a beer. Her hands shook as she drew open the door and scanned the interior. Skimming the brands, she grabbed one longneck and stepped back.
I hope I don’t say something wrong.
She could go for a nice mixed drink but didn’t want to have anything that might dull her senses. Instead, she poured herself a glass of juice, downed half, then filled it back up.
She was stalling. After a deep breath, she picked up both drinks and scrunched her toes before making the final trek. The distance wasn’t great, and she nearly tripped over the nonexistent barrier between the kitchen and her living room.
He wasn’t looking at her. Instead, he held the letter in both hands as his forearms rested upon his thighs. His longer hair hung down, obscuring his eyes along with those rugged, masculine features. He was raw and exposed. It slayed her.
Her heart cried out for him, and she bit her lower lip before propelling herself toward him. “Here we go.”
…
Parker exhaled slowly and lifted his gaze from the bent envelope he’d been carrying around for a few days. His insides were a mess, and he wasn’t sure he could go through with this.
“Hey.” Skylar’s gentle voice wound around him, tugging him from the edge of the huge pit he was being dangled
over.
Nothing could have prepared him for this—not his childhood, not his military training, nothing.
She appeared before him, on her knees. Skylar settled her hands on the outsides of his thighs, close to but not touching the envelope he held. In his periphery he noticed the drink beside him on the end table. “Parker.”
He lifted his gaze to hers and fell a bit further in love with this incredible woman, if that were possible.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“This could change everything. It will. Either way.”
A muscle flexed in her jaw. “Do you really think that?”
“You don’t?”
A sad smile flashed across her features. She pinched her lips tight then moved her hands, reaching for the envelope, only to pause.
He waited.
“May I?” She gestured to the paper, head cocked to the side.
Parker handed it over. He stared at her fingers as they curved around the edges. Her pale, unpainted nails had some chips in them from work. There was a half-moon bruise on her thumbnail.
Sexy. He knew what she did and how she got those marks.
Once she held the results in her hand, she shuffled closer on her knees, pushing her way between his legs until she couldn’t get any closer. He closed his arms around her and rested his face against the side of her neck.
She smelled like home to him. Her scent, heat, and comforting feel made it all right.
I can take whatever the results are. So long as she’s here with me.
“Here,” she whispered, pulling a hand around and placing the envelope back in it, only to cover his larger one with her smaller one. “Look at me.”
Brushing his lips along her skin, he listened.
“Fact one, you love Cullen more than anything in the world and you already introduce him as yours, even if you don’t realize it. Fact two, if this paper says you aren’t one of the contributors to his DNA, fact one isn’t going to change one bit. Just like it won’t if it does say you are. You are his father. In the most important way that counts, you are there for him. You protect him and you love him. He knows this, and he trusts you because of it.”
Her Marine Next Door Page 14
