McKenzie

by Penny Zeller

  Zach patted McKenzie on the arm. He spoke no words, but she could see in his eyes a mixture of compassion and hope. She realized that she hadn’t thought about or appreciated anyone other than herself for a long time, and, now, she thought of the man beside her. A man who had been nothing but kind to her. If only she could be what he wanted her to be. If only she could stay with him and love him in the way he deserved. If only….

  “Please turn in your Bibles with me to Proverbs ten, verse twelve,” Reverend Eugene said, interrupting McKenzie’s thoughts. The sounds of pages turning prompted her to begin leafing through the pages of her own Bible. She had no idea where the book of Proverbs was, or that it even existed. The pages in her Bible were crisp from lack of use and difficult to turn one at a time. Her fingers didn’t want to work, and she felt embarrassed being the only one still struggling to find the passage Reverend Eugene had mentioned.

  Zach had found the Old Testament book with apparent ease. He looked over at her, flipping futilely through the pages. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him smile sympathetically. Leaning over, he whispered in her ear, “McKenzie, may I help you find it?”

  She nodded, embarrassed and grateful at the same time, and Zach lifted her Bible, placed it in his lap, and turned to the correct page before handing the book back to her.

  “Thank you, Zach,” McKenzie whispered.

  Zach nodded and turned back toward Reverend Eugene.

  McKenzie looked down at Zach’s Bible, open on his lap. She’d seen the cover earlier—although it likely had once been stiff, it was now bent in places and worn all over. Inside his Bible, the pages were wrinkled and yellowed. Pencil marks underlined certain verses, as if to make them stand out. Perhaps, the next time she was in town, McKenzie would purchase a new Bible for Zach. Maybe that could be her wedding gift to him.

  “Proverbs ten, verse twelve, states, ‘Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.’ I want us to consider this verse for a moment. Solomon, who is credited with writing most of Proverbs, gives us insightful clues on how to live in a manner pleasing to our Lord. We all know someone who, at one time or another, has stirred up trouble….”

  As the reverend went on, McKenzie was convicted like never before about the times when she had stirred up strife. She wished that she could disappear, so that no one would see her shame, which surely was obvious. As she listened to Reverend Eugene speak about the importance of love, she realized that she was unaccustomed to reading and really thinking about God’s Word. She was unfamiliar with 95 percent of what the Bible taught, for rarely had she turned the pages of her book.

  McKenzie swallowed hard. How many times had she started arguments with Peyton? Could the letter she’d sent to her parents become a means of causing strife with her and Zach if he found out about it? Her heart felt heavy, yet she did not know how to ease her discomfort.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  In the week since the wedding, Zach had asked McKenzie each night if she’d care to join him on the porch to spend time with the Lord. And, each night, she’d refused. However, after hearing Reverend Eugene’s sermon that morning, McKenzie wanted to learn more about the Bible and the God she claimed to worship. So, this time, when Zach extended the invitation, she accepted.

  The first thing she wanted to know was why he “spent time with the Lord” every night.

  “I spend time every night with the Lord, reading His Word and praying, because the Lord has been so good to me,” Zach began. “He sent His Son to die for me in my place, and He didn’t have to do that.” He paused for a moment. “He has blessed me beyond measure. He gave me a son, good friends, a roof over my head, food, and He gave me you.” Zach reached over and squeezed McKenzie’s hand.

  McKenzie held her hand still, worried that, if she moved it, she would spoil the moment Zach had created. As it was, she felt safe and secure next to him on the porch. She decided to ask another question.

  “How can you say that God has blessed you when He took your parents from you?”

  “I do miss my parents; I think about them often and wish I could have had just one more day with them. I’d give anything for that. But, God is sovereign, and He has a plan. He alone knows why they had to die at such a young age. As a child, it was difficult for me to understand why they died, especially since they both loved the Lord with all their hearts. They served Him, devoted their lives to Him, and raised me to love Him, as well.” Zach paused again. “I was only twelve when they passed away, and I remember not being able to stop crying for days. Later, I was taken to the orphanage. I had my pa’s Bible—the one I use to this day,” Zach said, patting the worn volume in his lap. “I began reading it from beginning to end. I didn’t want to miss anything. I wanted to find out why God had let them die. I remember the first time I read the verse in Romans that says, ‘And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.’ Finally, I stopped asking God why and focused on the fact that He had a reason. Even though I didn’t know what it was, He had a reason, and that was good enough for me. Besides, who was I to argue with the One who spoke the world into existence?”

  Even in the dim light of the candle flickering on the table beside them, McKenzie could see the emotion in Zach’s eyes. She imagined him only eight years older than Davey and losing his parents. He’d been carted off to an orphanage. His parents were gone. “But then God took Davey’s mother from you, too,” she said quietly.

  Zach looked up at her with a surprised expression. “Yes, I do miss Davey’s ma and pa,” he said. “I forgot to tell you this, since I tend to forget, myself, but I adopted Davey. His pa, Will Mitchell, was my best friend. We met at the orphanage in Chicago and later decided to come out West together. My pa had always dreamed of owning his own ranch but never had the chance. It had become a dream of mine, as well, and Will thought it was a great idea, too. He later married Bess, and they had Davey. When Davey was one year old, they both died of the fever—first Bess, then Will. On his deathbed, Will made me promise that I would adopt Davey and raise him as my own. I never had any siblings, and Will and I were like brothers. There was no way I would not make that promise to him. I had already grown to love Davey like my own son, anyway.”

  McKenzie attempted to hide her shock. Davey was adopted? She never would have guessed it. “So, then, you weren’t married before?” she asked. Somehow, knowing that she didn’t have to compete with the memory of another woman would make her life easier.

  “You are my first and only wife, McKenzie,” Zach said, squeezing her hand again.

  McKenzie gulped. She may be his first wife, but she knew she wouldn’t be his only one. “I had no idea Davey was adopted,” she said.

  “I forget that he is adopted most of the time, too. Because of my love for him, and because of the large part he plays in my life, he is truly mine,” said Zach. “He looks a lot like his parents—an equal mix, I would say—but he acts like me in a lot of ways. Maybe that’s because I’ve raised him.” Zach turned to look at McKenzie. “He sure has taken to you.”

  “Yes,” McKenzie said, chuckling softly. “He asked me right after we were married if he could call me Ma.”

  “That sounds like Davey,” Zach agreed.

  “So, did you want to marry so that Davey would have a mother?” McKenzie asked. It hadn’t mattered before what his motives had been, but now, oddly, it did.

  “I did want Davey to have a mother,” Zach conceded, “but that wasn’t the only reason I wanted to get married. I wanted to have someone special with whom to spend the rest of my life. I saw how much my pa loved my ma, and I prayed God would give me a wife to love like that.”

  “So, you took seriously all the things Reverend Eugene said at our wedding ceremony about loving and serving each other and all of that?” McKenzie asked. She was thankful that she no longer felt nervous around Zach. In fact, sitting with him on the porch and having this discussion with him made her feel
as though she’d known him all her life.

  “Yes, I took it very seriously, McKenzie. You see, a marriage that is founded on God’s principles is a marriage that lasts.”

  McKenzie doubted that was true in all cases, and she knew that, whether or not their marriage was founded on God’s principles, it would soon come to an end.

  “Everything we ever need to know about anything is in the Bible. Everything we face, God understands. He created marriage, so He knows firsthand the good and the bad that comes with that commitment.”

  “Really?” McKenzie didn’t know that such a wealth of knowledge could be found in the Bible.

  “Yes, really.”

  “How do you know all this?” she asked.

  “I’ve spent a lot of time getting to know God by reading His Word,” Zach said. “I won’t know Him completely until I go to spend eternity with Him, but I want to learn all I can while I’m here on earth. So, I spend a lot of time reading His Word, praying, and worshipping Him. He’s my life.”

  “Does the Bible speak of loneliness?” McKenzie asked. She didn’t want to bare too much of her soul to Zach, yet the words tumbled out before she could stop them. She had felt so lonely in Pine Haven without her family and close friends.

  “It does, McKenzie. In Hebrews, it says, ‘For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.’ I know that it’s been difficult for you to move here and adjust to a new lifestyle, but God promises us that, no matter where we go, He will always be with us.”

  “I never realized all of this, Zach. I guess I should spend every evening on the porch with you.”

  “I’d like that. I also hope that, someday, you’ll feel completely comfortable here, and that we can have a marriage that is truly founded on God’s principles. I’d like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, McKenzie.”

  “Oh, you don’t mean that, Zach,” McKenzie said, hoping she was right.

  “I do mean it. I made a vow before God, and I intend to keep it.”

  An awkward silence followed, and McKenzie was grateful when Zach spoke again, changing the subject. “Why don’t we begin our Bible reading?”

  McKenzie nodded and listened while Zach read aloud and then prayed. Maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to endure Pine Haven a little more easily.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Hello, Mr. Victor. Any mail?” Zach asked as he entered the post office the following day during an afternoon of errands.

  “Let’s see, Zach. No mail for you, but I do have a piece of mail here for Rosemary.” Mr. Victor handed Zach an envelope.

  “Thanks, Mr. Victor. Have a good day, now.” Zach turned and was about to walk out of the post office when a large piece of paper hanging on the wall caught his attention. The scribbled words seemed to leap off the page at him.

  Looking for one beloved Kayde Kraemer, last seen in western Montana Territory.

  If seen, please contact McKenzie Sawyer at once. Your assistance is appreciated.

  “Oh, yes, please tell McKenzie I haven’t heard anything regarding her inquiry,” Mr. Victor said.

  “Uh, all right. Thanks, Mr. Victor.” Zach opened the door and walked out into the street. Questions filled his mind—questions that troubled him. Who was Kayde Kraemer? The possibility that the person McKenzie was seeking was a man with whom she’d been romantically involved bothered him, but he quickly dismissed the thought and entertained other questions. Why hadn’t McKenzie mentioned Kayde to him? And when had McKenzie hung the notice in the post office? Had it been recently? Zach fought the temptation to conjure up negative conclusions based only on the limited information he had.

  When Zach arrived back at the ranch, Rosemary was in the kitchen, trying to teach McKenzie how to cook. Zach watched from afar as Rosemary talked about measurements, ingredient combinations, and cooking times. McKenzie seemed eager to learn, and she appeared to be listening intently. Thank You, Lord, that McKenzie is a willing student. I know things are so different for her here. Please let her learn with ease, Zach prayed silently. Not wanting to interrupt the lesson, he decided to wait until their Bible time that evening on the porch to approach the subject of Kayde Kraemer, provided he could wait that long. Questions continued to swarm in his mind, and he knew that the only way he could temporarily dismiss the disturbing thoughts would be to busy himself with chores.

  ***

  As McKenzie tucked Davey in bed that night, she kissed him tenderly on the forehead. She delighted in the task of securing him in his bed for the night. “Good night, Davey,” she said.

  “G’night, Ma,” he echoed.

  McKenzie turned to leave the room and join Zach on the porch when Davey said, “Ma?”

  “Yes, Davey?” She turned around.

  “I love you,” he said.

  McKenzie stood in silence, her feet fixed in one spot. How could Davey love her after knowing her for so short a time? Further, how was she to respond to him?

  “Ma? I love you,” Davey repeated.

  McKenzie’s breath caught in her throat, and she found it difficult to breathe. She’d never said those words to anyone, nor had they really been spoken to her. With the exception of Kaydie, she’d never truly loved anyone—even Louis, she admitted to herself again.

  She knew Davey was waiting for her to say something. Should she tell him she loved him, too, even though she didn’t know if it was true? Or should she tell him good night again and go on her way? The decision was a weighty one, and she tried to reason out a course of action as quickly as possible. Finally, before Davey could repeat himself yet again, she answered him, “I love you, too, Davey.”

  Before he could say more, she left the room and fled down the stairs, her emotions a jumble.

  Downstairs, McKenzie slowly regained her composure, preparing to meet with Zach. She picked up her Bible from the table, opened the door, and walked out onto the porch.

  ***

  “Good evening, McKenzie,” Zach said, patting the chair next to him. He always looked forward to the evening, when he could spend time getting to know the woman he’d married. He hoped their times together meant as much to McKenzie as they did to him.

  “Hello, Zach,” McKenzie replied, sitting down beside him. When she looked up at the sky, she gasped. “That is the most amazing sunset I’ve seen yet!” she exclaimed.

  “I agree,” Zach said, still looking at McKenzie. “The Lord’s artistry never ceases to amaze me.”

  McKenzie nodded. “I thought you’d be happy to know that I learned how to make biscuits today. Rosemary has been teaching me all of her kitchen tricks.”

  “I thought I saw you taking lessons today,” Zach said.

  “I never much cared for cooking. I never had to do it in Boston. Cook always prepared the most scrumptious meals, and I never gave much thought to where the food came from or how it was made. When I was a little girl, I would sit on a stool in the kitchen and watch Cook as she prepared meal after meal. She’d never let me help her, though, because she said I was too young. Once, when I was about Davey’s age, I remember begging her for a scoop of cookie dough. She finally acquiesced, and I recall thinking that nothing tasted finer than that unbaked ball of dough.”

  Zach listened as McKenzie took them both back in time to a life that was so different from the one she was living now. He hoped she never stopped sharing her memories with him. He reveled in those glimpses of her past. “My ma loved to bake, and she made a lot of cookies—we almost always had a batch on hand. After supper, Pa, Ma, and I would sit around the table and dunk cookies in milk. It was one of my fondest memories.”

  “I wish my mother had baked us cookies. I doubt she ever baked anything, much less a dessert.”

  They sat in silence for a while, and Zach considered asking her the question that had plagued his mind, not to mention his heart, throughout the entire day. Finally, he couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. “McKenzie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Who is Kayde K
raemer? Is he a relative?” Zach prayed that Kayde was merely a cousin. He wanted McKenzie to refute the worst of his fears—that Kayde Kraemer was someone with whom she was in love.

  McKenzie stared at him. She actually looked frightened. But then, after a moment, she relaxed and actually laughed. Finally, she said, “Kaydie is not a he but a she.”

  Zach could do nothing to stop the sigh of relief that escaped his lungs. “Kayde is really Kaydie, and he’s not a man?” he asked, just to be sure he’d heard her correctly.

  “No. Kaydie is my sister.”

  “Your sister?” Zach hadn’t thought to ask many questions about McKenzie’s sisters. He knew from her letters during their courtship that she had two sisters, and that one of them was named Peyton. That was all he’d known, and he hadn’t thought to ask more.

  “I know it seems odd. You see, all the girls in my family are named after important male relatives. I’m named after my maternal grandfather, McKenzie Dudley. My older sister, Peyton, is named after our paternal grandfather, Peyton Worthington. And Kaydie is named after my mother’s favorite brother, Kayde Dudley. Kaydie’s real name is Kaydence, but I’ve always called her Kaydie.”

  “I see,” said Zach. His heart felt lighter, and he praised God that his suspicion was not founded on fact. “Why didn’t you tell me you were looking for Kaydie?” he asked, trying not to sound accusatory. Although this matter had concerned him, he reminded himself that it was a small thing, and he wasn’t going to make a big deal of it.

  “I put up the ad in the post office about a week ago. I’m sorry I never mentioned it to you.” McKenzie looked pensive. “I must have written it so hastily that I looped the letters together, making the name appear to be Kayde rather than Kaydie. I’ll have to go back and fix that.”

  Zach dismissed the hurt he felt at not knowing about something that was apparently important to McKenzie. “Mr. Victor told me to tell you that he hadn’t heard any news. So, you believe your sister’s in these parts?”