He was pissing her off. “Oh, really? Like what? Give me one example.”
“A guy steals your money and runs off. What do you do? Wait for something good to happen.”
“I have a lawyer!”
“Who you didn’t think of calling. You waited for someone else to call him. Or the streaming networks. You had two of them interested in your show, at a time when you had no other money. You waited for your agent to call them.”
“That’s her job!”
“And when you called them yourself?”
Yes, they were excited to hear from her. So what? “That just proves that things balance out.”
“Things don’t just balance out, Trina. If I don’t have any bids, I don’t just wait for someone to call. I can’t expect to get work automatically because things balance. You lead this life that most people would envy. You’re a TV personality, you travel, you have a nice SUV, money. Most of the time.”
“Are you accusing me of something?”
“No. It just doesn’t seem like you understand that you have it good already. And you can make it better—fantastic, even. But you’re just… on hold.”
Where the hell was this going? “That’s idiotic. I love my life. And I’ve got people who work for me. Professionals.”
“All I’m saying is that maybe this once, you can consider doing something outside your comfort zone and seize the good thing that’s right in front of you.”
She side-eyed him. “You mean… you and me?”
“Yes.”
She made a wry expression, a half smirk. Casper sighed.
“I know, I know, I sound like a freakin’ egomaniac. It’s something I can’t explain to you. I can’t explain it any more than I can explain how I know that you washed your socks in different loads of laundry, or that you make cute snoring sounds a few minutes before you wake up.”
Her brows cinched. “I snore?”
“I know I got faults. Lotsa faults. I ain’t saying I’m the greatest thing since individually wrapped cheese slices. But I am certain, abso-fucking-lutely certain, that the two of us together is something awesome. And I think, on some level, you know it, too.”
Her heart pounded, breath coming harder. “Is this a proposal?”
Suddenly, he looked as panicked as she felt. In a second, he regained composure. “Yeah, kinda. I’m proposing that you stay with me. Don’t worry about the details, about the future. Just be with me right now.”
“Because you’re this good thing I’ve always been waiting for?”
“Not me. Us.”
It’s not like this came out of left field. She was totally enamored of Casper, even if their impending separation loomed like a solid thing between them. It was just like him to knock down this solid thing. Now, she felt exposed. Thoughts raced through her head, too many to track. His eyes questioned her, held her, pleaded with her. This was too much. She stood up abruptly. “I need some air.”
***
He watched her run out the porch doors. Had he misjudged her? If he had, she now carried the secret he had so insanely protected since her arrival. For a moment, he wondered how this would’ve shaken out if he had known why she was here from the beginning. Would the pack have slipped her a mickey, driven her to Utah and left her for the cops? His own ruthless cunning, coming on the fly like that, both amused him and scared him a little.
Or was it true, that he had fallen for her at first sight, that she was his mate, regardless of the circumstances? Casper had felt it, that subtle but universe-altering shift he felt when he saw her crying in her vehicle. Why didn’t she? Because she was human? Because, well, the universe didn’t shift for her? It wasn’t like he was looking at this from an egotistical perspective. Casper was well aware of his own flaws.
When he didn’t hear her SUV start up and spit gravel to get to the road, he decided to go after her. He quickly walked down the back porch steps and knocked on the door of the in-law. To his chagrin, Ben answered, brows raised.
“Where’s Trina?”
Ben turned and walked into the kitchen. “She said she needed some air.” The big blond sat back at his laptop.
Casper followed him. “Air where?”
After fiddling with the track ball, Ben nodded at the screen. Casper watched Belinda Carstairs strip off her clothes and turn into a small canine. “Not what you think of when you think ‘widow,’” Casper said.
“I’m no expert on women,” Ben started.
“Obviously,” Casper said.
“But if I found out the guy I liked turned into an animal, I’d need some space.”
Casper leaned on the back of a chair. “I have the urge to make a joke to ease the tension.”
“If it calls into question my manliness, then no thanks. I’m not the one who told her about shifters. It’s not me who’s tense.”
Both men turned at the sound of a car in the driveway, pulling up, not leaving.
“That’s not Trina’s car,” Ben said.
Casper shook his head. “No, it ain’t.” He smelled alpha bitches. “Stay here.”
He rounded the house just as Wendy, Carolyn and Marsha stepped out of Wendy’s Escalade. A charge filled the air, making his hackles rise. A challenge between alphas.
“We gotta talk, Casper.” Wendy stood in front of him while the other two fanned out, flanking him, maneuvering like wolves.
He kept them all in his peripheral vision. His brothers had all married beautiful women. They had also married dangerous wolves. In lupine form, they would tear him apart. It would be a hell of a fight, but Casper knew he’d be on the losing side. Once they went animal, it wasn’t a man against three women, but a single wolf against a trio. “So talk.”
“Ain’t gonna invite us in?”
“No. Whattaya want?” He knew what they wanted.
“Trina,” Wendy said.
His teeth clenched. “She got what she wants. She’s leaving.”
“Bullshit, Casper,” Marsha said on his left. “You’re mate bound with her. You’d do anything to be with her. Even throw your pack under the bus.”
“She’s leaving, so I don’t have to throw us all under the bus.”
Wendy shook her head. “That won’t solve anything.”
Casper had no idea what she was talking about.
“You don’t get to have it both ways. You’re so mate-bound to her, I can smell it. It makes me randy as hell. I think I mighta thrown out Laramie’s back. In the meanwhile, if she goes, you’re still mated. You’re top wolf. You know we can’t have that.”
“Why? You like Trina.”
Wendy threw up her palms. “What’s not to like? I love her to death. I love that finally, after all this time, you’ve found someone to be with. She’s funny, she’s charming, sweet, even, not to mention interesting—she’s a TV star for cripes sake. But my wolf doesn’t like her, Casper. She’s got no scent. I can’t tell if she’s predator or prey, alpha, beta or zeta. Whether she goes or not, it throws everything out of balance.”
It suddenly dawned on Casper. “Youse are afraid of her.”
“Our wolves are, yeah,” Carolyn said. “And we’re afraid for the pack. How can you be top wolf with a mate we can’t understand? We don’t even know if youse two can have pups. It ain’t natural, and it could cause another split. Our pack might not recover from it. We barely managed before.”
Oddly, Casper had just told Trina that there were things in life you had to fight for. Now, he faced a battle he couldn’t hope to win. Or could he? For years now, the alphas controlled the pack through passive aggression, saying yay or nay via their spouses. Now, they were in his driveway, smelling like fear, like fight. Since meeting Trina, he’d experienced a level of leadership he never had before—he had the juice. He hadn’t realized until now that Trina, and his hopeless connection to her, made him alpha of the pack.
“We do better than manage,” he said to Carolyn. “We fuckin’ thrive here.”
“Bullshit.” Marsha�
��s favorite word. “We ain’t apex around here. We skulk around, living with predators next door, prey down the street. This should be our territory.”
His inner wolf stirred, sitting up straight. He felt the eagerness of the bitches to go wolf. “This is our territory. Ours. Nothing gets built around here without our say-so. Sure, Wendy lives next door to the apex predator. But you know what? Sometimes I employ that apex shifter—I’m his freakin boss for a few days. What does that make me?”
The alphas exchanged glances.
“This sure ain’t Wyoming. We got beaver shifters pouring our concrete, boar shifters doing labor. Why? So we can make a profit, expand, live better lives.” Despite the tension in the air, he almost chuckled. His next words sounded more like Trina than him. Maybe she was wearing off on him. “We’ve made a great life here by pulling back, by being more accepting, and letting things happen. They turned out to be good things. Tell me I’m wrong.”
After a few moments of silence, their eyes on him, Wendy finally spoke. “She still ain’t pack, Casper. Never will be. Without an inner animal to make things right, she’s just all human, all thinking and worrying, never having the conviction of instinct. I can feel your alpha, stronger than I’ve ever felt it. The thing is, she never will. I don’t think you’ll be able to deal with that. But you’re the leader. What you say goes—for now.”
“But this ain’t over yet,” Marsha said.
“Fine. Then get the fuck outta my driveway.” Casper saw them stand straighter at the command. Yeah, something had definitely changed. As they walked back to the car, he realized that it was Trina that made him this way. Ironically, Trina was the one thing his alpha wolf had zero control over.
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Chapter Thirty-Nine
It was like trying to manage five gallons of thoughts with a one gallon brain. Trina had filmed a woman turning into an animal. The paranormal world, hell, the world at large, would be turned on its ear. And Casper, he had changed right in front of her, as easy as if he were yawning or scratching an itch. Yet these thoughts were those that sloshed away, beyond her capacity right now.
She walked aimlessly, eventually finding herself in the parking lot of the general store. Bright crystals of safety glass glittered in the gravel. Trina toed these, feeling the precipitation that was less than rain, more than mist. This was where Casper had first seen her, blubbering like an idiot. Supposedly, this was where he fell in love with her.
Love at first sight. Was that even real? If it was, had Trina been trying to keep up with him this whole time? Keep up, she thought again. Keep up with love at first sight. Is that why he always seemed so self-assured, so confident without being cocky, because he was already there? Already in a relationship with her, long term, forever, while she scrambled behind him.
Did she love him?
I don’t know why I made love to you.
I do.
Damn it, the sonofabitch did know. At least, from his perspective he knew. And her perspective?
Perspective wasn’t one of her stronger attributes.
Trina thought of her mother. Always with a positive attitude, even though her life had been shattered, two of her children and the man she loved gone. Keep your chin up. Something good is bound to happen. Had she even seen Mom cry at the funeral? Was she being too strong for her daughter to feel the emptiness, the sorrow, that undefinable, angry sense that you’d been cheated by fate? Had Trina learned to shove her emotions in a box from Mom? Was she doing that now? Not with agonizing loss, the feeling of being alone forever, but the opposite--being with someone forever, someone who was so damned sure about it, it made her want to bolt.
When Trina really thought about it, she found the phrase positive attitude interchangeable with another bit of pop psychology terminology: living in denial. For all her mother’s insistence on staying positive, the woman remained living in the house where Trina grew up. She had not remarried. As far as Trina knew, she had never even dated. Was Mom waiting, endlessly, for something good to happen? Did she keep her heart in a box, sitting on it, opening it only when no one was around?
If you had the opportunity for something better, something you had to work for, fight for. What then??
Asshole! Was Casper really so arrogant that he thought he was the end-all, be-all of something better? Trina cursed herself for knowing he was not. How could he be so certain that they should be together? The man might learn to ease up a little, mellow out. But he wasn’t always Mr. Intense. She thought of the way his self-depreciating humor could yank her out of a mood. She thought about the asinine way he decided to get rid of her instead of asking for the keys back and telling her, like he had Scarlet, to “hit the bricks.”
She kicked at the shards of safety glass, shining like cubic zirconia.
Love at first sight. Trina had gotten into his truck with him, a total stranger, and allowed him to take her to his home, to live there.
Do you usually offer a room to strangers crying in a parking lot?
All the time. But rarely on Saturday nights.
For crying out loud, she had felt safe with him, comfortable with him, right from the first second. Was that love at first sight? Trina didn’t have an animal inside her, knowing with such certainty, instinctively, or whatever. Could she remember a big moment when she fell for him?
She thought about the way he stood, ramrod straight, except his neck was always bent, as if in question. She thought that the only time he didn’t look like he was smirking was when he teased her or told a joke. She thought about the way his whistled when he was happy, or hummed to himself when he was super-happy. She thought of the way he walked, practically a strut, though fully unconscious on his part. She thought of the way he looked at her, as if she was the only thing in the universe worth paying attention to. She thought of the way he tried to pat down his cowlicks and never succeeded. She thought of the way he smelled when they hugged, the softness of his lips when they kissed, the physical and mental solidity when he held her. She thought of the sound of his laughter. She thought of the secret he had shared with her—a media personality; a secret that had ruined his life in the past. She thought of the way he could push her buttons—but only did it to make her do things she knew she needed to do in the first place.
Nope, not one big moment among them.
Her phone vibrated. It took Trina a moment to realize the 650 area code was from Silicon Valley—one of the streaming networks. Maybe she wouldn’t have to think about Casper anymore.
“Hi, this is Trina.”
At the same time, she fished the data card out of her pocket, turning it between her thumb and index finger. Right. She wouldn’t have to think about Casper anymore. He’d revealed himself to her more than any other man could; he left himself fully vulnerable; he put his fate in her hands.
She dropped the blue plastic square among the glass crystals and ground it apart with her heel.
***
He paced, the size of the in-law unit making him turn a lot.
“Sit down, eh? You’re making me crazy.” Ben worked with his laptop, plugging data cards from the cameras into a little hub. He moved little clips onto a long timeline, zoomed in, and edited them.
Casper watched him, the quick, sure movements distracting him enough to stop walking around. “She’s been gone two hours. You think she went to the cops?”
“She’s been gone a hundred and six minutes, and if she’s walking to the nearest sheriff’s station, we won’t know until sometime tomorrow.” Ben side-eyed him with a frown. “Sit.”
Casper sat next to Ben, sometimes looking over his shoulder. “What kind of shifter do you think Belinda Carstairs is?”
“Arctic fox. Lots of fur, small ears.” Ben didn’t stop working.
Casper folded his hands. “Is that a guess?”
“No. I’m from up north. Lots of fox-shifter legends up there.” Ben leaned back, cracking his knuckles. “Well, with th
e house investigation, that’s a wrap. It would be better with an interview from Belinda Carstairs, but this is pretty good.”
“I’ll get an interview.”
Ben looked at him, one eye closed, head angled. “After you busted into her house and all?”
“I’m persuasive.”
“Well, we do have that video of her, I guess.”
Casper thought of the blackmail video, the supposed sex tape that showed a few seconds of Trina’s feet. He couldn’t imagine how mortified she must have felt. “I won’t need to go there.”
Ben moved through the timeline, freezing a frame. He pointed at the screen. “What’s that thing there?”
Casper looked at the overly tall AC unit without a vent or fan. “No clue. Why?”
“I don’t know. Something about it—”
They both turned as Trina burst through the front door. “I think I have a deal with the Slash network. They want to meet with me on Thursday in Mountain View, California. Sign some contracts, go over the show. We have work to do.”
Casper was taken by her, the heavy breathing, the color in her face, the way she beamed with excitement. At the same time, it felt like a trap door opened beneath him. Now, for sure, it was over.
He noticed Ben squinting at him, pausing before speaking to Trina. “I added all the clips from the house investigation. It looks good. Time is filled up, but we could edit some of it down to add an interview with the homeowner.” Again, that look from Ben, as if he was waiting for Casper to chime in.
“I don’t think we’ll have time,” Trina said. “We’ll need to rework the intro.”
Casper quietly rose and headed for the door. Even if all his planning, all his scheming had been for nothing, he finally had the result he had set out after. Maybe not the result he really wanted, but so it went. He thought about turning and saying goodbye. At that moment, he didn’t think he could handle it.
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