by K. T. Davies
“You think?” I stole a peek from behind a chair. Long Whiskers and Fen were now between me and the door to the main bar. The cleaver wielder guarding it could have had a stab at Fen, but he stayed put. My guess was that he hadn’t been hired to do the hit and was just there to keep the riff-raff out while the Pearl got down to grinding their axes and chucking food around. Yensun and his cronies had the other door covered, trapping my neverwere comrades and me. Had I not been in the line of fire, I would have enjoyed watching the scrap, particularly as I detested all of the dogs in the fight.
Nix ripped the burning tapestry off the wall and stamped out the flames. In an attempt to outflank Fen and Long Whiskers, the youngest of the ambushers edged around the table, which brought her to the attention of the Guild Blade. Nix stopped stamping on the tapestry and raised her sword. “Take one more step towards me, and I’ll open you from your cunt to your cock-stopper.” The youngster slowly backed away like she was tippy-toeing through a field of turds.
Yensun coughed, which was when I saw the black veins on his hand and wrist and a wisp of darkness coil away from the knife he was wielding. The blood between these coves was very bad indeed because nothing said hate more pointedly than death magic. Contrary to popular belief, blade poisons are almost useless, save as theatrical devices in terrible books and melodramatic, theatrical productions. Most poisons don’t stick to steel, and if they do, they rarely enter the blood with enough virulence to kill. Also, those poisons ground from fruit stones or brewed from snake spit and the like take time to kill, and therefore can often be cured if you have enough coin to throw at the matter. Necromantic weapons and death magic are different matter. Aside from delivering a swift and agonizing death, the most dreadful thing about such weapons was the crippling cost in gold and sacrifice of blood and essence that the wielder had to pay.
I stood up, raised my hands. “D’ you mind?” I asked Nix.
She leaned against the wall. “Go right ahead, kid.” I couldn’t see her face, but I heard the smile in her voice.
I cleared my throat to gain the attention of the combatants. “Would you mind if we buggered off?” I gestured to Rai and Tarby. Nix could sort herself out. “You’ve obviously got business to deal with, and we wouldn’t want to get in the way.”
The third ambusher, a fellow with a face like a melted cheese spat. “Are you trying to be funny?”
“No, sirrah, it’s just the way I say things.”
“Raiber?” Fen looked dismayed.
Raiber shrugged. “Like Bean here said, this ain’t our business.”
“Not our business.” Tarby echoed apologetically.
Fen’s eye twitched. “You didn’t say that when we agreed to go in together to slot Vulsones less than an hour ago.”
That got my attention. “Fuck, what? I mean, which Vulsones are you killing? Because… I don’t like any of ‘em.” My heart was bouncing like my ribs were on fire.
“Tobias Vulsones, the senator.” Rai offered from under the table.
“Right. Yes…that prick. He totally deserves it.” I mumbled something else and laughed nervously until I was unexpectedly saved by one of the ambushers.
“It doesn’t fucking matter which one!” Fen snapped and kicked a chair across the floor. “What matters is that until very fucking recently we were, ‘Guildmates together’. Then this…” He pointed at Yensun, his gaze locked on the deadly knife. “Prick shows up, and suddenly it’s all, ‘not my business’. Fucking typical Guilders, no honor.”
Nix canted her head. “What did you say?”
“Oh, fuck off. Also, that mask makes you look like an idiot.”
I looked at Yensun. “I think we’re done here. So, if you wouldn’t mind…?” I made walking fingers.
He wiped black blood from his lips and stepped away from the door. “Go.”
I wasted no time and legged it, mindful to keep a respectful distance from the cursed blade. Rai, Tarby, and Nix followed.
“Fucking Guild cowards!” were the last coherent words I heard Fen utter before the fighting began. We casually hurried away through a warren of passageways until we came out near the market. Before I had a chance to argue, my old gang mates hustled me into a dubious looking eatery. A quartet of toothless ancients were busily chopping and frying a variety of ‘things’. The smell was delicious, although my eyes stung because of the cloud of fiery oil mist rising from the giant shallow pans. The codgers performed an intricate dance in the ramshackled kitchen that overhung the rushing falls of the underground river and seemed to be held together by spit and wishes. Raiber ordered a couple of bottles of cheap, rice wine. Like the fiery noodle sauce, the smell of the booze was strong enough to bleach eyeballs.
“I told you not to go in with Fen.” Nix crouched by the curtained door, absently stroking a sleepy iguana that was curled in a basket.
“Not sure I recall that, Nix. And anyway, it doesn’t matter now. What is done is done.”
“What’s done is done.” Tarby sighed as she idly picked shreds of bone and gobs of flesh from her tippet.
“Stop repeating what he says,” Nix snapped. The iguana hissed and whipped its tail before burrowing into the rags in the basket. Tarby’s lips thinned to a hard line, but she held her tongue.
I was trying to play it cool so as not to arouse suspicion, but I was desperate to know what the fuck they were planning to do to Tobias. “So, what’s the job you were going to do with Fen?” My inquiry earned me the side-eye from Raiber. I raised my hands. “I don’t mean to stick my neb into your business, but I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve got an opening, and I could do with the coin.”
“I’m not sure. It’s nothing on you, kid, you did all right in there, but there’s the merger to consider.”
“Merger?” It’s amazing how articulate I can be when I’m clenching my jaw hard enough to snap teeth.
“Aye. Our mistress retired, and Master Ludo slotted the boss of the Pearl, but that was an inside job.”
“Backstabbing snakes,” said Nix.
“Aye, just so. Ludorius is here to get the newly merged guild acknowledged by the court.”
“Nice. Sounds like you’re on the up.” I tried to look interested while inside I was seething. I wanted to grab them, to bellow in their faces that Mother hadn’t retired, that she’d been murdered by the maggoty pile of crab shit to whom they were swearing their allegiance. But I couldn’t. They didn’t know me and wouldn’t believe me. I had to play along if I was going to stop them killing Tobias. “I don’t like to blow my own drum, but as you’ve seen, I can be handy in a tight spot.”
Nix snorted. “All I saw was you hit the floor and flap your lips. You might be carrying that cutlery for show for all we know.”
“Well, there’s one way to find out, fustilugs.” I felt especially bold because I knew her tricks, and she didn’t know mine, not to mention, I was in a killing mood.
One of the aged cooks tipped their pan and rolled a gout of oil flame to the blackened ceiling.
“Oh, aye?” The Guild Blade stood up.
“Whose noodles?” the wrinkly cook’s demand cut through our posturing. “Whose noodles?”
“Oh, here.” Raiber waved at the stony-faced cook who muttered as she slid the sizzling noodles into a bowl. “Let’s not fall out, eh?”
“Aye, let’s not fall out.” Tarby smiled pointedly at Nix, earning a growl.
Raiber looked me in the eye. “There’s something about you, kid. No, don’t worry. Whatever it is, it’s a good thing. It’s like…I feel like I’ve known you for years. I suppose you must have impressed on that job in Appleton.” The cook slammed the bowl of noodles on the table. Raiber gestured the bowl. “You hungry?”
“I’ve already had some,” I gestured to the stains on my doublet. “But, thanks for the offer.”
“Suit yourself. Now what was I saying?”
“That you liked me, and you were going to give me the chance to earn a bit o’chink.”
My brass neck won a scowl, but then Raiber broke and laughed, which gave Tarby permission to do the same. Even Nix snorted derisively and relaxed back into a crouch by the entrance.
“Master Ludo’s gonna do his speechifying ‘afore the court on the morrow, then they’ll decide if he’s got the stones to captain the Pearl and the Guild.” He breathed on his spoon before sinking it into the steaming broth and slurping up a mouthful of noodles. “Of course they’ll say yes, ‘cos no one else wants to do it, and he’s a sorcerer, just like Ma Blake. Now, at the same time upstairs…” He gestured to the ceiling before shoveling another mouthful of noodles. “…The Senate of the Day will be in session. These are excellent, Mrs. Min.” Whichever of the cooks was Mrs. Min didn’t hear or acknowledge his comment. “I said these…never mind. She’s as deaf as a stone, but by the gods, she makes good scran.”
I nodded to show my appreciation of his thoughts on noodles, while at the same time fighting the urge to grab him by the throat and drown him in his dinner. It would have been satisfying to slot all three of them, but if there was a contract on Tobias, they wouldn’t be the only ones after collecting. At least if I got in on their scheme, I could thwart it and hopefully warn him.
The thought that I was trying very hard not to own was that I also desperately wanted to save him, to undo what I had done. I leaned in and whispered. “This Vulsones cove will be at the Senate, right? But you’re not going to do him there because it’s too well guarded.”
Tarby giggled. “You’re a sharp one.” I wasn’t sure if she was giving me a compliment or mocking me.
Raiber leaned in and whispered in my shell. “We’re gonna wait until he leaves and slot him when he goes to the Gilded Pear— his favorite brothel. Catch him with his pants down, so to speak.” He tapped his nose. “I’ve done my research.”
“Shouldn’t you stay here with your boss while he gets his bona fides?”
“Naw. Master Ludo’s told us all we can fuck off for the day. So long as he gets his cut of whatever job we do, he don’t mind. He’s very easy going.”
“So he’ll be here, or rather over there.” I gestured in the rough direction of the court chambers. “While this Vulsone’s cove is in the Day Court.” I laughed. “And you can’t be in two places at the same time.” By which I meant that I couldn’t be in two places at the same time. The only time I knew where both of them would be. “That’s a…that’s a damn shame.” It really was.
“Aye, well, it’s not really. All that speechifying gets a bit boring. I’d much rather be on the job, earning a bit of chink.”
“As you’re telling me, I’m guessing that I’m in?”
Rai chuckled. “All right damn your eyes. You follow Vulsones from the Senate and keep a lookout while Nix and I do the bizzy, you ken?”
“I do. Are you sure you don’t want me to…” I made a stabbing motion. “Because I can do that too, you know.”
“Gods’ love you, no. This has to be done careful like. You just keep watch.”
“How much?” I beamed.
“Fifteen.”
Old habits die hard, and I balked instinctively at the derisive offer. “Fifteen gold for a quartering offense? There must be more in it than that if you’re out to inhume a senator.”
“Not for a colt-bowler there ain’t.”
“I’m not raw! I’m…” I almost said, ‘a Guild Blade’. “I’m broke, but I’m handy with the sharp and pointies. All my lot do is smuggle pel. My talents are wasted.”
“I can see you’re keen,” Rai patted my arm. “But we don’t know you. Hey, you can wash off that sulk-face. I shouldn’t even be extending this twig to you, given you’re bound to another crew.”
“Ah, well. You’re not lawfully in a guild until you get your merger agreed on the morrow.” I wondered if Mother would have been proud that I’d paid some attention to the painfully dry lessons I’d endured on court law.
Raiber looked at Tarby. She shrugged. “It’s just a formality—”
“Like paying my mother’s rent, which is much harder now pa’s dead. I wouldn’t ask for a penny over twenty, but it’s for my little brothers and sisters…”
“Saints’ sake, enough!” Raiber chuckled. “You’re breaking my fucking heart. Eighteen, but not a penny more.”
“Done.”
18
“Where the fuck have you been?” Pla asked when I made my way back to the crypt tavern and found her waiting anxiously. She looked tired.
“Having some noodles, why?” The door to the back room blew open, and I caught sight of a sorcerer wearing tattered robes and wielding a skull-headed staff. He was binding something or someone in a salt circle that had been drawn on the gore splattered floor. “That looks messy.”
“I thought you were in there.”
“Well, I’m not. What happened?”
“Gang dispute. Five dead. Come on. Garten said he’ll see you.”
“With all this going on?”
“If business stopped every time someone got slotted around here, nothing would ever get done.” She yawned. “Hey, stop gawking.”
“I just wanted to see what was going on.”
“Arseholes have killed each other. Now come on, I need to get home.”
“But we’ve got business to do.” I smirked.
“No. You have business to do. I have to get home to my kids.”
“Why?”
She gave me an uncalled for dirty look before storming off to Garten’s quarters. The barkeep was sitting on a barrel in the storeroom behind the bar. His hair and blood-splattered shirt were soaked with sweat and a bloody ax was leaning against the wall. He dabbed at a cut on his cheek with a dirty rag. “Come in and close the door. Tell your man Cobb that I can’t help him,” he said before I had a chance to even ask him to intercede with the court.
“Is it coin? Cobb’s got coin. Not a lot; he works in the theatre, but he’s got some.” Given what Raiber had told me about Tobias, I was less concerned with getting in with the court now, but I thought I’d give it a try for Sakura’s sake.
He shook his head. “I’m gonna be honest, it doesn’t matter if you’ve got a sack of gold to throw around. The timing is real bad right now.”
“Oh, aye?”
“Aye. There’s something going on with the court. They’re worried. I don’t know the details, but it’s something to do with these fucking Pearl turds— who are all barred as of today.”
“I really need to speak to someone about our problem.”
“I’m truly sorry. I’ve got kids of my own. But now ain’t the time to talk about your ‘problem’. Unless you want it solved permanently.” The throat-slitting motion he made was unnecessary. I knew what would happen to Sakura if Ludo and his crew got hold of her.
“So what’s Ludorius been doing to piss off the court?”
“That the Pearl cunt? Strutting around like he owns the place. I don’t know. All I do know is that he’s annoying some very dangerous people. What’s it to you?”
“Nothing. Just curious.”
“Don’t be. Come back next week.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes, that’s fucking it!” He caught his temper quickly and replaced the scowl with a weary smile. “It’s been a long day, and now I’ve got to go and offer a groveling apology for not knowing a cunt with a corpse blade was going to start a fight in my gaff.”
Happy to be done and eager to get away, Pla opened the door. “See you around, Garten.”
“Aye, I hope so.” He threw the bloody rag, revealing the deep cut on his face. “But you never know.”
I had neither need nor desire to press him further. I knew where Ludo would be tomorrow. “Thanks, Garten,” I said, unthinkingly polite.
He nodded. “Aye, like I say, come back in a few days when these churls have crawled back under their shitty little rock.”
I followed Pla from the Midnight Court; my mind burdened with an awfully knotty problem that I couldn’t unrav
el, because I couldn’t be in two places at the same time. I knew that if I got the drop on him, I could blow Ludo into the Void and that I’d most likely go with him. It was a fair exchange, but Tobias would still die. I could try to find Ludo today, but given the recent altercation, he’d be on his uppers and on the lookout for trouble.
Instead of hunting Ludo and going out in a blaze of ignominy, I could try to find Tobias now and warn him, but would a senator take the word of a random stranger that he was going to be killed? I wouldn’t if I was him. And supposing by some stretch he was stupider than he looked and believed me. Rai would rearrange the hit when he didn’t turn up, then I’d be in the shit because they’d know someone had tipped him off. If they didn’t try to slot me, they’d never trust me again, in which case I’d have to guess when they were going to make their move. It was maddening. No plan I came up with was without flaws, and by flaws I mean Tobias being slotted. It boiled down to the simple fact that I could take a life or save a life, but I couldn’t do both at the same time.
“Please, Jojo.”
“But you’re here now. Why not go see Cobb yourself?”
The truth of it was, I didn’t want to. I also didn’t want to see Sakura. “I’m in a desperate hurry, and he’s busy doing his theatricals. Just pass on the message, please.”
He folded his arms. “You should tell him yourself.”
I took him by the shoulders. “Please, Jojo. A friend’s life is hanging in the balance.”
“Who?”
“I can’t tell you, and trust me; it’s for your own sake. He’s just someone I’ve known for a very, very long time, and he’s in grave danger.”
“Let me come with you, I can help. We’ll leave a note for Cobb.”
“What? No!” I let him go lest I squeeze the little flea too tightly.
“Why not?”
“Fuck’s sake. There are so many very good reasons, I don’t know where to begin.”
“I know I’m small, but I’m stronger than I look, and I’m quick.”
