by Renee Dyer
Damn women. I’ll never figure them out.
Chapter Nine
Adriana
Today was a better day. I don’t have the urge to huddle in the corner of my couch as I walk in the door from work. I chatted more with Alahna today and I felt the conversations. I know she saw the difference, but she didn’t say anything. I think she was afraid to scare me off. I feel bad that my friends have been on a constant cycle of watch out for Adri, but I’m hoping that’s all in the past now.
Putting my purse and keys away, I take a moment to enjoy the quiet of the night. I can’t believe it’s the last week of August already. Soon, the leaves will change and the weather will turn cold. But for the next few weeks, I plan to enjoy the warmth that’s left. I love the changing of the seasons, but I’m not a fan of the cold weather. Typically, I’m not a fan of Mondays either, but the visit to my mom the day before helped me tremendously. I woke up today feeling a tad like my old self. There’s still a gaping hole in my heart that may never close, but I know I can’t just lie on my couch, crying into the cushions every day. I need to start moving on with my life.
A plan for the first phase of reclaiming my life began forming in my mind at work today. It’s a baby step, but one I need to take and I’ll be starting after dinner. Excitement and pain mingle in my chest at what I have planned. Knowing what I need to do and doing it are very different things.
I keep dinner light because I don’t know if my nerves will allow me to stomach what I’m about to do. There’s a prickling sensation that has been steadily growing into an allover bristling. My mind and heart are fully aware of the other and I’m not sure if they’re trying to warn the other of what’s to come, or if they’re trying to run from it, but I feel itchy and hot. It’s like I’m having an out of body experience. I knew this wouldn’t be easy.
Looking into his smiling face, I feel love wash over me. A longing to be in his arms again fills me. It happens every time I see him and I’m sure it always will. “I’m sorry I have to do this.” Grabbing some newspaper, I pull the first picture of Alex and I off the wall. I very carefully wrap it in the paper and place it in the box I have waiting on the couch. I had expected to turn into a sobbing mess, but a small feeling of freedom washes over me instead. With that, a stab of guilt pierces my heart, but I hold it together as I methodically pack up all the pictures of Alex in my living room.
I take a moment to look at every picture before I wrap it, remembering the story behind each one. I wasn’t lying when I told him he’d be a hard act to follow. I don’t know that anyone will ever be able to replace him. I hold a few pictures to my heart, embracing them before I can bear to wrap them. Still, no tears fall. I decide one room is enough for tonight and head to the kitchen to reward myself with some mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Ready to indulge and spoon a few heaping scoopfuls into my bowl, my phone rings. I want to ignore it, but I look at the clock and see it’s a little after nine o’ clock. It’s not late, but no one normally calls me at this time so I decide I should answer it.
Picking up and saying hello, I’m greeted by a woman’s voice. She has a slight accent that I don’t recognize.
“Could I speak to Adriana please?” she asks me.
“Uh, this is she. May I help you?” I have no idea who this is.
“Oh, hello. My name is Rose Stavros. I’m Tucker’s grandmother. By any chance is he there with you?” Oh no. Tucker’s Grams. Why is she calling here? Didn’t he tell her that we didn’t work out?
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Stavros, but I haven’t seen Tucker in weeks.” I don’t know what else to say.
“I knew it was a long shot, but his assistant isn’t answering and I need to reach him. I was hoping he came after you. He didn’t happen to leave you a different way to reach him that an old lady like me wouldn’t understand, did he? I need to talk to him.”
My gut instinct starts telling me that she isn’t okay and I’m worried. “I have his cell and home number and Facebook information. Are you alright?” I try to ask gently. I don’t want to sound like I’m imposing because I’ve never met her.
Her breathing sounds different, sounds like she struggling to take in breaths. “I’m not feeling so good and I wanted to ask Tucker what he thinks I should do.” My dad being a firefighter and the training he gave us for years kicks in.
“First things first, Mrs. Stavros, I want you to sit down, if you aren’t already. Then can you tell me what’s going on with you?” As I hear her shuffling about, I grab a pen and paper so I can write down what she says. I also start up my laptop in case I need to look up her symptoms. “How long have you been feeling poorly?”
“I haven’t been feeling well most of the day,” she wheezes out. “Thought I might be coming down with the flu. It hurts to breath in my chest… and in my upper back. I’m really tired. And, I feel so dizzy.”
I try to remember all the things my dad told me these symptoms could be, but it could be so many things. He’s been gone for three years so there haven’t been any of his quizzes of ‘what to do’ at Sunday dinner. I’m trying to think of what to ask her next. Instead of that, I decide to tell her I think she should go the hospital. I’m not a doctor or an EMT; I can’t diagnose what’s wrong.
“Mrs. Stavros, I think you need to go to the hospital. Can you get yourself there or is there anyone who can bring you? I’m sure this is what Tucker would say too.”
“You’re a sweet girl. I can see why he’s so hung up on you. I just wish…” I hear a bang as the phone hits the floor and another thud that sounds like a larger mass. Oh my God. What just happened?
“Mrs. Stavros?” No answer. “Mrs. Stavros? Rose, if you can hear me, please answer me, make a noise, scratch your floor… anything.” Nothing. Thank God for all the years I had been a firefighter’s daughter. I don’t panic. I remember that Tucker wrote me a note telling me about the town he lived in. It was too small to have a police or fire station and hospital, but they lived on the border of the next town that was a military base and that town had it all. The names were on that note. My laptop is already fired up so I can look up the emergency number for that town and get her help.
Running for my room, I tell her, “Don’t worry, Mrs. Stavros, I’m going to get you help. If you can hear me, I’m going to get someone to help you.” Rifling through the stack of notes from Tucker, I want to shout, “Eureka!” when I come across the one I’m looking for. It doesn’t have their address, but I know I can grab my other cordless phone and get the number she called me from. They should be able to trace it. At least, I’m hoping they can.
I run back down the stairs, write down her phone number, and look up the emergency number for Junction City, Kansas. The entire time, I’m praying to God that she’s alright. Tucker can’t lose her. He won’t survive it. Refusing to hang up my phone and disconnect the only link this woman has to a live person, I grab my cell and dial the police in Junction City. As their phone rings, I assure her again that I’m getting help.
“My name is Adriana Monroe and I’m calling you from Epping, New Hampshire. I’m calling you for Mrs. Stavros in Milford.” I know I sound like a babbling idiot, but I’m not sure how to say this. “She called me a little bit ago, telling me she wasn’t feeling well. While I was asking her what was wrong, I heard two loud banging noises, and now she isn’t answering me. You need to send an ambulance to help her. Please.” My voice is desperate.
“Mrs. Stavros, huh?” a male voice comes back at me. “Let me guess, another Tucker fan who wants to get close to him through Mrs. S.” My heart stops. Oh God. She’s going to die because this cop is a stupid dick that thinks all people are scum, chasing after a movie star’s grams.
“Listen to me, officer! Rose is lying on her floor unconscious and I can guarantee that if Tucker finds out I called you and you did nothing while his Grams is potentially dying you will regret the day you were born. He told me about his temper.” I don’t know why I’m saying this or egging this assh
ole on. “But, to prove I’m not some groupie, let me give you my name, address, phone number, and the phone number to the police station in my town. If this is a prank, you can have them come arrest me. All I care about is you doing your fucking job and helping that woman! Now!”
I don’t know if he actually believes me or if he likes the idea that maybe he can potentially contact the police here in Epping, but I hear him sigh. “Fine. I’ll send someone to check on Mrs. S. You had better pray this isn’t a prank. I want your information.”
I give him my information and the number she called me from because I feel the need to dig it in, and let him know that I’m not hanging up my home line until someone gets there with her. I ask that someone pick up to let me know if she’s still alive so I can call Tucker, but I’m not sure if they’ll do that or not.
The next thirteen minutes feel like the longest of my life as I sit there talking to Mrs. Stavros. I keep telling her to hold on because help is on its way. I tell her Tucker loves her more than anything and she has to fight through whatever is happening because he needs to see her again. I even beg her not to leave him because I don’t think his heart can survive that loss. When I finally hear a knock on her door, I cry out in relief. Hearing people in her house makes me cry out in joy. Please, God, let her be alright. I keep saying it over and over in my mind.
“Hello! Can anyone hear me?” I keep shouting into the phone, hoping someone there will hear me and pick up the phone. “Hello. Is Mrs. Stavros all right? Please pick up the phone. Hello. Hello.”
“Hello. This is the paramedics.”
“Oh thank God. Is she… is she?” I can’t ask now that I have someone on the line. The words won’t come to me. What if she is gone and I was the last one to talk to her? I’ll have to tell Tucker that.
“She’s alive, ma’am, but we have to get her to the hospital now. You can call there later.”
I croak out a thank you as the phone goes dead. I sit there, staring at it numbly. She’s alive. My prayers were answered. I send up a new one that she’ll be alright and recover quickly. I don’t know her, but she had a kind voice and Tucker loves her. Tucker. I need to call him.
Sweat starts to bead my forehead at the thought. I haven’t talked to him since I walked away. Now I have to call him to tell him his Grams was taken to the hospital. How do I... what do I… I don’t know how to do this. What if he won’t take my call?
You have to try, Adri. My conscious is screaming at me. An old woman is at the hospital all alone and God knows how bad she is. She’s all Tucker has. I know I have to call. With shaking fingers, I dial his number and wait as it rings. Nausea rolls through my stomach and I worry I’ll be sick when he answers the phone, but he doesn’t. It goes to voicemail. I don’t want to tell him his Grams is in the hospital on a message, so I tell him it’s an emergency and ask him to call me right away.
I figure he’s taping and he’ll call me after; he told me his schedule is insane. I grab my kindle and my ice cream and settle on the couch for some distraction time.
Two hours later, Tucker still hasn’t called. I know Vancouver is in a different time zone, but all I can think is that this poor woman is lying in a hospital alone. Maybe it isn’t as bad as it seemed, but the paramedic said he had to get her to the hospital now. That’s what he said. She was unconscious for a long time. I run through cases my dad talked about in my head and try to think positively, but I can’t. She should have someone with her. I make a decision that others might think is crazy and maybe it is, but I can’t take knowing this woman is all alone.
Firing my laptop back up, I look up the airports closest to Junction City and find out there’s a small one in Manhattan. I book a flight leaving at five-fifty the next morning. I won’t arrive in Kansas until a little after four-thirty in the afternoon, but I don’t see how Tucker could get there any sooner.
I was hoping he would go on a break and call me, but I still haven’t heard from him. Half an hour later, I decide it’s time to try him again. His voicemail picks up once more. I have no choice but to tell him this time. My heart breaks for him and I feel awful leaving the message. I hope he understands why I didn’t wait longer for him to call me back, but I need to pack and want to write a letter to leave at the studio for Alahna. Thank goodness this is a slow week with the upcoming Labor Day weekend and schools opening back up. I hope she’ll understand why I need to do this.
While I pack, I question myself repeatedly. I ask myself so many times if going to Kansas is a good idea, but then I picture this frail, elderly woman alone, lying in a hospital bed, and I know I have to go. I still haven’t heard back from Tucker. I know this isn’t about him and I know he isn’t ignoring me. If he had heard my message, he would have called. Nothing would stop him from knowing everything where his Grams is concerned. Part of me wonders if I should have booked a flight to Vancouver, but I know that would have been the wrong call. He and I could have crossed each other in the air. Although that may be best for me, it wouldn’t do his Grams any good at all. I may not be ready to see if my heart can withstand the pain of seeing Tucker again, but I also can’t let that woman be alone any longer than she already has been. It’s not in my nature.
Her words keep coming back to me, “I can see why he’s so hung up on you. I just wish. . .” I wish I knew what she was going to say and I can’t stop myself from wondering if Tucker still feels this way. I’m sure he doesn’t. It was probably an old conversation and she was confused from not feeling well. Still, a major part of my heart woke up at her comment and it won’t be forced back to sleep now.
Bag packed, letter written to Alahna, I chill on the couch to read for about an hour before I need to head out. There’s no point in trying to go to sleep for that small amount of time. My nerves are already out of control. I’m worried about what Tucker will do when he sees me. Will he demand that I leave? Will he be angry that I flew out there? Will he be happy? How will I feel when I see him? My mind is a hurricane, thoughts flying past each other before the other can finish forming. I want to say this has nothing to do with Tucker, that it’s only about helping his Grams, but I’d be lying. The thought of seeing Tucker again… it has my heart doing flip-flops.
And, I think my heart likes that.
Boarding the plane, I think to myself one last time, you can turn around and go home. But I don’t. I get on the plane even though I’m not a fan of flying and I’ve never flown alone. Thank God I have my kindle with me. If I can’t fall asleep, maybe I can at least get some reading in.
Tucker finally called me back, but it was while I was in the studio leaving the letter and my flight itinerary for Alahna. When I got back in the car and saw my cell bleeping, I knew he had called. The frantic tone in his voice broke my heart. I tried calling him back, but I got his voicemail. I left another message and I don’t know why, but it registered that this was the most I had said to Tucker in months. And, I had willingly called him.
Hearing his voice again sent shivers down my spine and had the hairs on my arms standing on edge. I couldn’t believe he still had such an effect on me, especially when he was still over three thousand miles away. Shit. What am I going to do when I see him in person? Hearing his voice had done something to me. More than my heart had been awakened. I’m just not sure what to do about it.
Chapter Ten
Tucker
Today has been a particularly grueling day. I had to do scenes with Victoria and Cammie. Victoria acted her ass off, but the cold indifference toward me is really starting to piss me off. I’m the one who should be pissed off, but she keeps treating me like I wronged her. If it weren’t for the fact that everyone thinks she’s the reason I fell apart, I would yank her ass outside and ask her just what the fuck her problem is. Unfortunately, there are too many eyes and ears around here. All I need is the paparazzi getting wind that I verbally assaulted her.
Cammie is a sweet thing, but I wonder what Eddie is thinking. He plucked this girl out of a college drama class
. She’s only nineteen and so shy she can’t look at me in our scenes. I have no idea how she’s going to play the part of a blood-sucking vampire when she can’t even lift up her head to look someone in the eye. And we haven’t even done an intimate scene yet. Nothing even close to that. Eddie’s normally spot on, a genius in helping with the casting. Most writers don’t get a say, but he has a talent for picking the talent. I think his little brain was doing the thinking this time.
I can’t blame him. Cammie is gorgeous. Her five foot eight frame is curvy in all the right places and perfectly toned and her dark brown hair compliments her blue eyes. She has high cheekbones and Angelina Jolie would give her an award for her full lips. She’s striking, but unless she comes around soon, we’re going to end up behind schedule again. Each scene I did with her, I saw Victoria shooting daggers at her with her eyes. It makes no sense to me. She’s been a damn ice queen to me, but she acts jealous of my new co-star. Maybe she thought her recent good acting was going to save her job, or that intimidating the new girl into acting badly will. I don’t know, I just want this day to be over.
When taping ends, I don’t bother chatting with everyone like I normally do. I just need out of here tonight. I grab my stuff and head for the gym, thankful that I keep a gym bag at the set with me. I need a couple hours of beating the shit out of my body to work off the tension of the day. I catch the stares a few people give me as I walk away with only a wave at everyone. I’m sure they think I’m freaking out again. If they only knew that I’ve been freaking out this whole time. Adriana leaving me has left a gaping hole that will never be filled. I found the woman who was supposed stand beside me. I saw the smile. I found my one. And, I lost her. That’s why I’m going to the gym.
Like I do every night.
I’m going to work myself until I’m exhausted, too exhausted to think about her.
