by Renee Dyer
It’s going to be a tiring weekend. Luckily, we’re able to fly out on a Friday morning because Jesse is on school vacation, but we have to fly back Sunday because Jesse hasn’t missed any school this year and wants the perfect attendance award at the end of the year. He hasn’t been able to do that any year so far due to having cancer and getting his immune system built back up. This is a big deal for him.
When Tucker walks into the area where we’re waiting, my whole body comes to life. Every hair on my body stands on end and excitement courses through me waiting for the first touch of his lips to mine. Just watching his long legs eat up the distance between us has me a needy mess and I hate that I can’t strip him down and take what I want. It sucks that we’re busy and surrounded by people this whole weekend.
“Holy Christ. He is sex on feet,” Stacy says.
“My little sister did good, huh?” Katie belts out.
I look over my shoulder at both of them with a wide grin on my face. They can say he’s gorgeous all they want. I know I have an Adonis of a man on my hands and I plan to treasure every minute that he stays in my life.
“Hey, sweetness. I missed you.”
“Missed you more.”
“Doubt that.” He bends down and kisses me deeply, not caring who is watching. I’m breathless when our lips part. I should be embarrassed by the public affection, but all I can think is I want him to do it again.
“Hi, there. I’m Tucker,” he says to Jesse. “Are you ready to go on the plane?”
“Is it time now?” Jesse’s voice jumps several octaves and the smile on his face goes straight to my heart. I love that kid.
“Just about. They’re fueling it up and then we can go on. Do you want to meet the pilot?”
“Can I?” Jesse’s eyes go wide and he looks at Tucker like he’s the coolest guy ever.
“I bet I can arrange that.”
Stacy nudges me and I look over at her. Tears are in her eyes. “I think I’m in love with your man. Just want to warn you. I’ve never seen Jesse smile so big before.”
I hug her, knowing what this means to her. She’s never been able to take him anywhere. This isn’t a vacation, but to Jesse it’s just as exciting.
Tucker sticks to his word and takes Jesse into the cockpit to meet the pilot. He shows Jesse what all the dials mean and how they work. He takes pictures with them and gives him an extra pilot’s hat that he has. Jesse spends the whole flight with the hat on playing with a toy jet Tucker bought for him.
If my friends weren’t on this plane, I’d show him just how much I appreciate all that he’s done.
Tucker tells us that he has the make-up and hair crew from his show hired to do the ladies hair and make-up for the charity event the next day. All the dresses Katie made were delivered and he has them waiting for us at his house. I’m so excited to see his L.A. house.
“Where are Adrian and Vic?” Tucker asks.
I was hoping this question would come up later when we were alone. We’ve made amends and I actually get along with her now. I hate that she cheated on Tucker, but he made me understand that he wasn’t a good boyfriend to her. He can see why she was easy prey for Grant. The whole situation makes my head hurt.
“Vic was nervous about being out in the spotlight next to us, especially with Adrian. She thought it would create too much buzz and wanted the night to be about the cause, not about what happened or is happening with us. She didn’t want any drama.”
“Have her and Adrian admitted they’re a couple yet?” he asks, amused.
Katie and I both laugh. “Not yet, but they aren’t fooling anyone. The whole, ‘she’s my employee’ bit is such shit.” Everyone nods their heads in agreement. Even Jesse, who has no idea what we’re talking about.
“In time, they’ll tell us. The question is, do we pretend to be surprised, or do we call them on it?” Tucker smiles, showing his dimples that I love, and I smile back.
“Call them on it,” a group of us says in unison.
Tucker has a limo pick us up at the airport, getting Jesse even more fired up. He jumps up and down and fist bumps Tucker. He tells him he can’t wait to tell the kids at school and asks Tucker to take a picture with him in front of the car. Stacy looks ready to melt into the ground, but Tucker laughs it off and happily obliges. This is why I can’t help falling for this man.
When we pull up to his house, I try not to be in awe, but I can’t help it. It’s stunning. The gates open and a huge house was laid out in front of us. Unlike many of the other homes that are all white, this one is done in a Mediterranean theme. It’s a tan color, stucco and stone on the outside and has a red clay roof. There are open balconies all around the outside and columns lining the front walkway of the house. The house wraps around, showcasing the multiple angles and varying pitches to the roofs. The slanted chimneystack with the tile caps adds to the elegant feel of the house and makes me want to get inside even more. If the outside is this stunning, I can’t imagine what the inside looks like.
We grab our bags. Tucker grabs mine and we follow him inside. The grand staircase when he first opens the door blows my mind. The entire downstairs is so open and full of light, but I’m saddened looking around. It’s gorgeous, but I don’t see Tucker. I see a house where money was thrown around. It looks professionally staged to perfection.
All of the furniture is in the right spot. Plants are the perfect shades of green. There’s abstract art on the walls and it makes me cringe. Everything is so modern and I don’t see that fitting Tucker at all. He’s laid back and gives off more of a homebody vibe. This feels all wrong to me, but I don’t say anything.
Tucker shows everyone the rooms they’ll be staying in. I hear Jesse yelp out in joy as he walks over to his room. There’s a pile of unopened toys on the floor. “I thought he’d want something to play with.” Tucker shrugs at me, looking shy.
“Thank you for thinking of everything.”
“Well, there’s one more thing.”
I stare into his eyes and they’re twinkling. I wonder what he’s done now. He presses a quick kiss to my lips and pulls back to look at me.
“I wanted you and the other ladies to be relaxed for the gala tomorrow so I scheduled for you all to have Mani’s and Pedi’s. The limo is still outside, waiting to take you to the appointment. When you get back, I’ll have dinner ready.”
“Tucker, you didn’t have—”
“I know. I wanted to. Let me spoil you sometimes, sweetness. It makes me feel good. Now, go gather up the ladies and enjoy yourself. We men will hold down the fort.”
“Thank you.”
Enjoy ourselves, we did. We gossip about the guys and what they’re probably doing while we’re not there—video games. They may act all big and tough, but they turn into little boys when they turn those on, shouting at the screen, fist pumping each other, getting competitive. It’s adorable.
I am ecstatic that Katie came on this trip with me. I don’t get to see her often. She said she wants to be here in case anyone asks about our dresses. I think she’s hoping to run into Eddie. I didn’t have the heart to tell her he won’t be at the gala. Tucker told me that he avoids big events like that because of the paparazzi masses. I asked how going to bars and clubs is any different and he told me they have to divvy those up. But an event like this, they send everyone to because there will be so many stars to photograph.
Alahna and I even get some book talk in.
I’d been dying to ask her all day about her t-shirt, but one thing or the other got in the way. Sitting next to her under the toenail dryer, I finally got my chance.
“InZane? Okay bitch, spill.”
She raises a brow at me and then a full smile breaks out on her face. “Before I tell you about Zane, I have to tell you—he’s mine. I’ll cut a bitch for trying to take this one from me. Just be clear on that fact before you ask me to tell you about this book.”
“Wow, he’s serious book boyfriend material. You have to tell me about him now
.”
“I licked him, he’s mine. You just remember that.”
I roll my eyes at her. “You’re making me not want to read it.”
“Oh you want to read about MY Zane. I can’t wait for the InZanity to hit. Oh my God, wait to till you… the twists… I don’t even know where to begin… and this was her first book… so good.”
“Okay, okay, you twisted my arm,” I say between laughs. “If you can’t make complete sentences then it has to be good. What’s the name of said book so I can look it up?”
“Oh yeah. Sorry. Perfectly Broken by Maegan Abel. Seriously, Adri, you don’t want to miss this one. I was blown away. She should be nominated for best debut author of 2014.”
“You better be around when I finish reading this one. Not like after I read Finding You by S.K. Hartley. I was so pissed at you.”
She starts laughing so hard, I swear she’ll spit her water out her nose.
“What the hell is so funny?”
“Pres got the hate message you left me.” She’s still roaring as what she says sinks in.
“Oh shit. I told you I hated you.”
“Actually, you said you fucking hated me. He listened to that message, walked over to me, and said, I think that message is for you while he shook his head at me.” She keeps laughing as I blush out of control. These damn books get me in trouble all the time.
Doesn’t stop me from thinking I’m still Team Logan. Man, I love S.K.
Tucker walks us through the line of paparazzi. Cameras click and questions are blasted our way. He keeps one hand in mine and the other protectively on Jesse’s shoulder. I’m happy to see my security team in line with us. I smile at the guys and instantly feel safer knowing they have our backs.
Inside, I have to stop and look around. I can’t believe what I see and that my Tucker was responsible for this. Sparkling, crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling. Dozens of round tables fill the room and surround a large dance floor. The tables are done up in a black and white theme with a black tablecloth over a white base. The chairs have white satiny covers with black ribbons tied into bows around them. And, there are white napkins at every place setting.
In the middle of every table is an easel. On the easel is a write up of a type of cancer. Half of the tables also have monitors. Tucker told me about this. The tables without monitors will have kids sitting at them who have survived cancer. The tables with monitors will allow the guests to Skype with kids who are either still battling cancer or are survivors, but couldn’t be with us today.
Black and white balloons, thousands of them, float around the ceiling. Long, curly ribbons hang down. When I asked Tucker about them, he said, “What kid doesn’t like balloons?”
In all this grandeur and elegance, I love that he made sure the kids were not forgotten. They get to wear whatever they want. He has a room set up in the back with TV screens and video games in case it gets to be too much for them out here in this crowd of hundreds of people. And, they get chicken nuggets and pizza while the adults will be served a five-course meal.
The ballroom is filling fast and I feel nervous. I’ve never been to an event like this before. There are more famous people here than your everyday Joe Schmoe’s like me. I see my friends looking around in awe. We’re all out of our element. Jesse is acting so much cooler than any of us. I keep repeating in my head what my parents told me growing up; famous people are just like us. It’s not really working. What I wouldn’t give to start asking for autographs.
Tucker leads us to our table, stopping every now and again to shake hands and kiss cheeks. He introduces us to several people and I know I blush repeatedly when he calls me his girlfriend. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. Being claimed by this man, who is larger than life, has strange effects on me.
Shortly after we’re seated, the lights dim and a man steps up on the stage. He introduces himself as Henry O’Dell and asks Tucker to join him on stage. Tucker kisses my hand and makes his way through the tables. I can’t help but watch how graceful he is when he moves. How powerful his strides are and how confident he seems. I know this is Tucker in his acting world, but it suits him just as much as the sweet, vulnerable Tucker that he lets me see when it’s just us.
Tucker takes the microphone from Mr. O’Dell and I feel like I go into a trance listening to him. I want to hear every word he says.
“Ladies and gentleman, thank you so much for joining myself, Mr. O’Dell, and all of the hard workers of Cancer Forward for this benefit tonight. For those who don’t know, cancer hits close to home for me. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was eight years old.”
I stop breathing for a second. I’m in shock hearing Tucker admit this in a crowd this large. I know he speaks freely with me about his mom, but I wasn’t aware he would be alright talking about her in a group like this.
“When Henry approached me about being the face of Cancer Forward, I was in before he ever told me the story of its beginnings. I had been looking for a cancer charity to get involved in and as you know, there are so many. But, then he told me about Sandi, his daughter, and I knew I definitely wasn’t going anywhere else. Sandi O’Dell was diagnosed with brain cancer when she was thirteen. She had three tumors removed and underwent chemo and radiation. She beat cancer. That was the first time. At seventeen, they were told she had five more tumors. While she was sick, she would tell her dad all the things she was going to do after she was done with cancer. She used to say to him that she had to keep moving forward no matter how bad she felt because she had a lot of living to do. She wanted to go to prom and get her first kiss and graduate high school, but most of all, she wanted to go to college. Sandi had the dreams that so many girls her age had. Unfortunately, Sandi didn’t beat cancer that second time. Some of her tumors were inoperable.”
I feel myself tearing up thinking of this young life, gone too soon. It makes me think of Jesse and I’m thankful he’s still with us. I look over at Stacy and she has tears streaming down her face.
“Henry started Cancer Forward a year after Sandi passed. I’m sure a lot of people look at the name and think it’s weird, but Sandi always said she had to keep moving forward and told her dad the things she was looking forward to doing after cancer. I can’t think of a more fitting name for this foundation. I’m not sure if you know how much it costs the average family…”
I watch the crowd as Tucker gives his speech on what it costs to go through cancer treatments and why many families struggle to recoup and send their kids to college later. He breaks down how many different kinds of cancers there are and the statistics for surviving them, why it’s so important to help the kids that do.
Then, he explains how the night is going to work. Other than when dinner is served, every half hour, you have to get up and switch to a new table. He wants us to learn about the different cancers and see what it takes to fight them. He’s confident that when we see what these kids go through to fight to live, we’ll want to donate for their futures.
Applause follows him as he walks back to me. He has a beaming smile, both dimples on display the entire walk back to our table. Christ, he looks good in a tux.
“That was amazing, Tucker,” I say to him. “I would have passed out if I had to be in front of all those people like that.”
“I’m sure you’d do great. Speaking of great, have I told you how stunning you look tonight?”
I blush a little at his compliment. “Thank you. I owe it to Katie and her design genius. Speaking of Katie, where did she run off to?” I don’t know how I didn’t notice she was no longer at our table. I scan the room and don’t see her, but there are so many people here. I need to find her.
“She’s on her way to Eddie’s,” he says with a mischievous look in his eye.
“Come again?”
“I noticed the way they were at Thanksgiving. She asked me where he was when we got here and I told her he doesn’t do these big events. She started sulking so I put her back in the limo and asked my dr
iver to take her to Eddie’s. I told him to come back here because I’m sure Mr. Carmichael would make sure she got back to us safely.”
“You noticed them too, huh?”
“They were really obvious. Are you okay with what I did?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
I’m more than okay with it. It’s at this moment that I realize I’m in love with Tucker. There’s no question of do I love him or am I in love with him. I know. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out. Maybe it was seeing him with Jesse today. Maybe it was all the little details he put into this gala. Maybe it was the passion I saw from him on the stage. Maybe it was him sending my friends and me to the salon or maybe, it was what he did for Katie.
I don’t know what finally got me to stop being blind, but like a sledgehammer through a brick wall, there is no longer a barrier on any of my emotions. I’m in love with this man. Every bit of him. The soft, sweet Tucker and the hard, honest Tucker. The broken, trying to find himself Tucker and the confident, commanding Tucker. I’m in love with all of him and I know what I need to do to show him that.
I can’t do it here in California though. There’s something I have to do at home that will show him exactly how I feel about him. There will leave no question in his mind that I love him. The next time he comes to New Hampshire, he’s going to know.
“Hey, Tuck. This is unbelievable, man.”
“J, thanks for coming.”
I turn in my seat to see Jensen Ackles behind me at the same time Mick says, “Holy fucking shitballs, it’s Dean.”
Tucker and Jensen start laughing. I sit there, unable to say anything. Before Tucker, this was my movie fantasy man. Tucker has erased any fantasies I have of any onscreen man now. I live the onscreen fantasies.
Tucker introduces Jensen to our table and I’m aware of Mick in the background. I believe she may have made a comment about his lips being good enough to bite in real life too. Blake apologizes for her and says he can’t bring her anywhere.
