“Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul will not only comfort and inspire cancer survivors and their loved ones, it will comfort and inspire anyone breathing. It’s mandatory reading!”
Wally Amos
“The Cookie Man”
“Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul is a great pick-me-up book. We all go through tough times in our lives. The inspiring stories in this book show us all that we can get through these events and even learn from them— that is the secret of surviving!”
Dan Jansen
Olympic gold-medal speed skater
“Yes! This wonderful book teaches us that one can make cancer a triumph instead of a tragedy! We can find the blessings... the lessons to be learned...the strength we never knew we had. I know... cancer was one of the most empowering ‘gifts’ in my life.”
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
author, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and
End the Struggle and Dance with Life
“Over the past 14 years of providing psychological and emotional support to thousands of cancer patients, we have discovered that there are significant therapeutic benefits from interacting with other cancer patients. Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul, a wonderfully inspirational book, introduces the cancer patient to many others who understand every nuance of the cancer experience.”
Harold H. Benjamin, Ph.D.
founder and president, The Wellness Community
“These stories will take you by the hand and take you by the heart, and show you how much each of us can do.”
W. Mitchell, CPAE
author, The Man Who Would Not Be Defeated and
internationally recognized expert on change
“I loved this wonderful, heartwarming book. It reminded me of all the people I have worked with since 1974. Reading it was like sitting in a hundred support groups. You leave feeling you’ve shared something important, something of yourself.”
Elise NeeDell Babcock
founder, Cancer Counseling Inc.
and author, When Life Becomes Precious
“Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul shows us what all the blood tests, X rays and MRIs cannot possibly reveal—the true nature of the surviving soul. Through the horror of cancer, these heroes have found the honor of everyday life. By sharing their stories with us, they fill us with the power not only to survive but, indeed, to thrive. Besides cancer patients, their families and health-care givers, anyone who’s had so much as a broken nail or a broken heart should read this book.”
Robert Wollman, M.D.
Holy Cross Hospital Cancer Center
“This book is a godsend for anyone who needs some inspiration—as we all do. The stories in Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul are from people who have a special insight into how to live life more fully and, in doing so, improve their health.”
O. Carl Simonton, M.D.
Simonton Cancer Center
CHICKEN SOUP
FOR THE
CANCER
SURVIVOR’S SOUL
101 Healing Stories About Those
Who Have Survived Cancer
Jack Canfield
Mark Victor Hansen
Patty Aubery
Nancy Mitchell, R.N.
Beverly Kirkhart
Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hcibooks.com
www.chickensoup.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is on file with the Library of Congress.
© 1996 John T. Canfield and Hansen and Hansen LLC
eISBN-13: 978-0-7573-9738-7 (ebook) eISNB-10: 0-7573-9738-7 (ebook)
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher.
HCI, its logos and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190
R-09-07
Cover design by Andrea Perrine Brower
With love we dedicate
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul to
Linda Mitchell—a survivor, and Patty and
Nancy’s mother—who originally suggested that
we compile it. She spent hundreds of hours
reading over a thousand stories and poems
in the creation of it and gave us the
encouragement to continue when we thought
it would never come to completion.
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul
would not exist without you!
We also dedicate it to
Jeff Aubery, Patty’s husband, who
spent the last six months of this project as
virtually a single parent with their son J.T.
while Patty worked to complete it.
No Road Too Steep
There is no path
so dark, nor road so steep,
nor hill so slippery
that other people have
not been there
before me
and survived.
May my dark times
teach me to help
the people I love
on similar journeys.
Maggie Bedrosian
Contents
Foreword Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1. ON HOPE
What Cancer Cannot Do Source Unknown
The Soul Menders Susan Chernak McElroy
From on Chemo to on Camera Kristine Kirsten
You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks Howard J. Fuerst, M.D.
The Boy and the Billionaire John Pekkanen
Hope William M. Buchholz, M.D.
Amy Graham Mark Victor Hansen
Wild Bill Mary L. Rapp
Kids with Cansur Geralyn Gaes
Cancer Has Been a Blessing Kimberly A. Stoliker
Cancer and Career Choices Robert H. Doss
It Is the Best of Times Joanne P. Freeman
2. ON COURAGE AND DETERMINATION
Up the Down Slope Adrienne Rivera
“Never Give Up!” Speaker’s Sourcebook II
Not Without a Fight Mary Helen Brindell
Nintendo Master Katie Gill
Fighting Back—One Man’s Battle with a Brain Tumor Reverend Robert Craig
Dare to Dream Manuel Diotte
Fulfilling My Dreams Marilyn R. Moody
Chris—One Special Fifth-Grader! Louise Biggs
My Hero Katie Gill
Keep on Keeping On Erik Olesen
The Container Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
3. ON ATTITUDE
The Best Day of My Life Gregory M. Lousig-Nont, Ph.D.
Love Is Stronger... John Wayne Schlatter
The Power to Choose Sharon Bruckman
Laugh! Peter McWilliams
The “Wee” Nurse Norman Cousins
Until Tomorrow Comes Wanda Kelly
Two Things Not to Worry About Source Unknown
Head First Norman Cousins
I’ve Just Got to Make That Man Laugh! Meladee and Hanoch McCarty
The Prosthesis Intruder Maureen J. Khan-Lacoss
The Value of Laughter Norman Cousins
The Choice Is Yours Beverly Kirkhart
Having an Attitude Robert Lipsyte
Reaching for the Best Norman Cousins
<
br /> The Centerfold Allen Klein
The Power of Laughter Allen Klein
Victim or Survivor Paula (Bachleda) Koskey
4. ON FAITH
Going for the Prize Paul Azinger
Say a Prayer Bob Westenberg
On Faith Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.
The Holy Water Kathy LaTour
Great Expectations Jeanette Doyle Parr
I Said a Prayer for You Today Source Unknown
Don’t Worry—Be Happy Paul Santaro
All the Necessary Supplies Dianne Clark
5. ON LOVE
Eileen Brown’s Story Eileen Brown O’Riley
A Pocket Full of Quarters Anne C. Washburn
Manuel Garcia David Roth
Hairs Jaime Rosenthal
Dear Mommy Alexi Thomas
Saint Christopher’s Protection Cynthia Bonney Mannering
Our Hero Brian Norma Yamamoto
Happy Anniversary Allen Klein
Love and Support Christine M. Creley
Love Cures People Janine Crawford
Out in the Open Michelle
“You Are Going to Need a Surgeon” Delva Seavy-Rebin
I Believe in Miracles Chris King
6. ON SUPPORT
“Pete, You Have Cancer!” Pete Legge
Teens Launch Campaign to Save Dying Baby’s Life Jeff Leeland
Judy Nancy Richard-Guilford
Mrs. G in 3B Linda Neukrug
The Wellness Community Harold H. Benjamin, Ph.D.
The Corporate Angel Network The Corporate Angel Network
To Climb a Mountain Diana L. Chapman
An Affair to Remember Linda Mitchell
Simply Hold a Hand Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.
You’ve Got a Friend Carole King
Dear Dr. Terebelo Paula (Bachleda) Koskey
To the Nurses of the World John Wayne Schlatter
The Healing Sybil Taylor
Kindest Cut People Magazine
Taking Time for Tenderness Mary Vaughn Armstrong
Practical Tips to Help the Seriously III Saint Anthony’s Health Center
How to Make a Sick Child Smile Marilyn Phillips
The Way Back Doris Knight
Reach to Recovery Sally de Lipkau
Taking Charge Phil
A Special Mission Sister Sue Tracy, O.P.
7. ON INSIGHTS AND LESSONS
Lessons Cancer Taught Me Bernadette C. Randle
No Less a Starfish Katherine Stephens Gallagher
A True Learning Experience Lisa McKeehan
Humor Helps Erma Bombeck
Cancer Introduced Me to Myself Lois Becker
Thoughts for the Year Source Unknown
My Resolve (For Today, Anyway) Paula (Bachleda) Koskey
My Realizations (At This Point in Time) Paula (Bachleda) Koskey
Dad, Cancer and the Wedding Linda Blackman
Surviving Cancer Jill Warren
My Story Kathy LaTour
Live Your Life Judy and Katie Griffler
Twenty Minutes Is a Lifetime... Claire Nuer
Finding My Passion Mary Lyn Miller
What’s It For? Jane Hill
The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me Roberta Andresen
Fifty Things I’ve Learned Along the Way Sally P. Karioth, Ph.D., R.N.
How to Beat Cancer City of Hope
Celebrate Life! Sister Sue Tracy, O.P.
Intravenous Chicken Soup for the Soul
More Chicken Soup?
Who Is Jack Canfield?
Who Is Mark Victor Hansen?
Who Is Patty Aubery?
Who Is Nancy Mitchell?
Who Is Beverly Kirkhart?
Contributors
Resources
Permissions
Foreword
I was quite honored when asked to write the foreword to Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul. I have been so touched and inspired by the first two Chicken Soup books that my foreword may turn out to be longer than the book. On the other hand, I realized that I could also write a one-word foreword. What is the one word? Love. I could quote all the great spiritual leaders to emphasize this point, but I think you, dear reader, know what I am saying, or you wouldn’t be reading this book.
When we see an event that has an emotional impact upon us, one of our choices is to repress the feelings it creates and bury them deep within. In my early years as a physician I was very good at this. I thought I was protecting myself, but I was actually destroying myself. I finally hurt enough to seek healing. Books like Chicken Soup for the Soul were part of my healing because when you read, you get in touch with your feelings. You can then express those feelings so that you may heal your life and your body. So read, feel and find healing in these pages.
Learn from the natives—those who have preceded you and found paths to healing. We all have cancer in one form or another—emotional or physical. Ninety percent of the people I speak to say, “Life is unfair.” What they are really saying is, “Life is difficult.” Yes, but it is difficult for all of us, so therefore, it must be fair. We are all complaining. What this book can reveal to you is not only how to deal with cancer but how to deal with all of life’s difficulties and make life a more meaningful experience.
I find as I care for people that they do not lack information about how to live a healthier lifestyle. They lack inspiration that leads to transformation. For some, this inspiration comes when they learn that they have a short time left to live—that they are not immortal. Well, none of us are immortal, and so it is a lot wiser to read Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul and be inspired than to wait until you have a life-threatening illness.
As I have said, my transformation came from my pain as a physician, from storing everything inside me until I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, common to so many people in today’s society. My patients became my teachers. In helping them learn how to live between office visits, I was also learning about living. So please accept your mortality and find happiness and love. You’ll also find that the first person you need to love is yourself.
Who are the best teachers? I find they are the people who don’t die when they are supposed to. They will enlighten you about life. They know they are not statistics, nor are they controlled by statistics. A medical student I know got angry when he read that his disease invariably recurs, and seven years later he graduated from medical school with no sign of the “incurable” tumor. Others set out to create a more beautiful world and get so busy they forget to die. They suddenly have permission to quit a job, take off a tie, move to the mountains or seashore, express love, assert themselves, explore a spiritual life, read and do other things they never had time for. They learn the truth of the statement, “Enjoy yourself; it is later than you think.” Their enjoyment is not about being selfish. I can’t believe how many people think being happy is selfish. I am talking about people who contribute to the world in their own way, not the way someone else decides. As one woman said, “After I had done all the things I wanted to do before I died, I didn’t die.” Later she wrote, “Now I’m so busy I’m killing myself. Help! Where do I go from here?” I told her to take a nap. She wasn’t burning out, she was burning up.
Others decide to leave their troubles to God and then get well. Let the problems in your life be your teachers. Always describe your difficulties with words that express your feelings. Then look at the things in your life that fit the description and heal them. Your life will improve and you will derive physical benefits, too. Remember, life is a labor pain but the pains are not inflicted by someone else. You decide what you go through to give birth to yourself.
We also know that if you experience labor surrounded by caring people, you have far less pain and far fewer complications. So reach out for the help you need. Create a mutual investment society with your family, friends and health care providers. The stories contained here will guide you in how to do that.
These stories will also
teach you that life isn’t about “Why me?” but “Try me!” You will learn that beating a disease or difficulty isn’t only about curing it but about living with adversity in such a way that you inspire those around you. You are a winner because of the way you live, not because you don’t die.
Unhealthy guilt, shame and blame have no place in your new life. If you lose your car keys, it isn’t because God is punishing you and wants you to walk home, and if you lose your health it also is not because God is punishing you. We (God included) will help you to find your health just as we would help you search for your keys— without guilt or blame.
When you live in the moment, you will be amazed at the change in your life and the inner wisdom you discover. As you will learn from reading this book, transformation is the key. I will let you in on a secret that I only share with readers on how to succeed at transformation.
Your thoughts create chemical changes in your body. What you experience and anticipate alter you. Spend a moment laughing, loving or playing and your body feels different than it does during moments of anxiety, despair or fear.
So what can you do? Behave as if you are the person you want to be. We know from studies that actors and actresses,
Acknowledgments
when simply playing a role, alter their body chemistry depending upon the emotion they are portraying.
When you finish your Chicken Soup and are feeling better, decide who you want to be and start becoming your new self. No one can change you but yourself, but a good coach can help bring out the best in you. Let this book be a coach or guide, but seek out other coaches, too.
I will close with one important thought. William Saroyan writes, “Everyone alive is an actor but almost everyone alive is a very pathetic actor.” He goes on to say that this is why you are given a lifetime to learn to act like yourself. So forgive yourself when you are not the person you want to be. Then get out your baby picture, look at it and forgive yourself. Then get on with being who you want to be.
One last word of advice—read Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul and become enlightened. And for those of you who do not have cancer but may be a family member, friend or health care provider to someone who does—or just a member of the human species—don’t wait until your mortality is threatened to wake up to the lessons of life presented here.
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