by Rye Hart
We sat in silence for a while. My head was spinning. It seemed crazy that this was where my life had ended up. It wasn’t that long ago that Andrea and I were moving my stuff into this house. It felt like yesterday that I was crying over Joshua and, now, here I was, broken over a man who turned out to be his brother.
“I just,” I said, finally breaking the silence, “I really, really wish I’d never met either one of them.”
“You don’t mean that,” Andrea said softly.
I looked at her, angry at first. She just smiled at me kindly and squeezed my hand again. Andrea was never the type of friend to lie. She wouldn’t sugarcoat things. She wouldn’t hide from the real issues just to make me feel better. Most the of time, I loved her for it.
“I wish I meant it,” I said, sighing.
My eyes closed, and I felt fresh tears begin to form. As much as I wanted to be done crying, I wasn’t.
“I was falling in love with him,” I said weakly. My voice broke, and just like that, I was crying again.
Andrea pulled me into her arms and smoothed my hair. She let me cry on and off for the rest of the night. We switched between hating Joshua, cursing Michael, and laughing at them both. Still, nothing we did made me feel any better. I missed Michael so much that my stomach felt like a pit. It was as if he’d created a void I wasn’t sure I would be able to fill again.
“He meant a lot to you,” Andrea said later that night. “I can tell.”
“You want to know something really pathetic?” I asked.
“Always.” Andrea smiled.
“Part of me thought he was the one,” I said. “I know, it’s stupid.”
“Why is that stupid?” Andrea asked.
“Because we barely know each other,” I said. “We only just met and, already, I was falling for him.”
Andrea shrugged. “Sometimes it happens that way,” she said. “Love at first sight does exist, you know?”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I said doubtfully. “That’s a fairy tale.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Andrea said.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I said. “Everything’s different now. Everything’s changed.”
“So, you never want to see him again?” Andrea asked. “Ever? You don’t want to let him try and explain?”
I didn’t know the answer to her question, so I didn’t give one. Part of me hated Michael more than I’d ever hated anyone. Another part of me wanted to fall into his arms and let him heal me. I didn’t know which part of me would win.
“I don’t want to think about it tonight,” I said. “I just want to get through this.”
Andrea nodded. We kept talking through the night. We ordered pizza and sipped wine until the sun rose outside.
CHAPTER 24
MICHAEL
Weekends were off limits. Marcy knew not to call me anytime on Saturday or Sunday unless the sky was falling. So, when I woke up Saturday morning to three missed calls from my secretary, I knew something was horribly wrong.
“Marcy,” I said when she answered my call. “What is it?”
“You need to get to the office,” Marcy said. “The Richardsons are here.”
The name fell like a weight on my ears. The Richardsons were some of my biggest clients. We’d worked together for years.
“What’s going on?” I asked. I pushed myself out of bed and hurried into my bathroom.
“They’re angry,” Marcy said quietly. “Something about this latest round of tools.”
“I’m on my way,” I said.
I hung up and jumped in the shower. Five minutes later, I was dressed and in my car. I sped through town, not bothering to slow down until I pulled into the office parking lot. Marcy’s car was already in her usual spot, and two other, unfamiliar vehicles were parked on either side of her.
I groaned and shoved open my car door. This was the last thing I needed today. I barely slept the night before. Instead, I tossed and turned for hours. I tried everything to get Julie out of my head, but the hurt look on her face was forever burned into my memory. Even in the morning light, I couldn’t shake the memory free from my mind.
“Mr. Smart,” Marcy said when I walked through the door. She visibly relaxed when she saw me. “They’re in the conference room waiting for you.”
“Thank you, Marcy.”
I squeezed her shoulder as I hurried past. Outside the conference room, I paused with my hand on the doorknob. Whatever was going on in my personal life, I had to push that aside. This business, my business, was too important to let it fall apart.
With a deep breath, I turned the knob and slowly stepped inside. I smiled at the Richardsons and quickly closed the door behind me.
“About time you showed up,” Jim Richardson said. “Where the hell have you been, Smart?”
“Well, it is Saturday morning,” I said.
“I’m not fucking around right now,” Jim said. “Not today, Michael.”
“Just slow down for a second,” I said. I walked over to sit down while Jim glared at me. His two sons, Trey and Turner, kept their eyes locked on their father. The tension in the room was already unbearable, and we hadn’t even begun talking yet.
“I don’t want to slow down,” Jim said. “I want you to fix your mistake.”
“What mistake is that?” I asked patiently.
I leaned back and intertwined my fingers over my chest. This was the position I always took in important meetings. It allowed me to appear relaxed and calm, while still remaining strong and confident.
“You don’t even know?” Trey demanded. “What the hell is going on around here, Michael?”
“We’ve been sending complaints to your office for over a week,” Turner said. He was calmer than either his father or his brother and, still, his anger was evident.
“I’ve received a few emails,” I said with a nod. “And I responded.”
“Not good enough,” Jim said. “We asked for a whole new set of tools four days ago, and still, we’ve gotten nothing.”
“You know it doesn’t work that way,” I said. “I have to send a technician out to examine the tools before they can be replaced.”
“We don’t have time for that!” Jim spat. “We’ve already spent a week waiting around for you to get off your ass!”
I nodded and let Jim lay into me. He screamed and yelled, jumped to his feet and paced around the room. The whole time, his sons continued to glare in my direction. I did my best to listen to every word he said, but I let most of it slide past my ears. I just couldn’t bring myself to care about his complaints. Not now. Not with everything else I had going on.
“Are you even listening to me?” Jim screamed. He’d finally stopped pacing, but I didn’t know when. He was standing at the opposite end of the conference table, glaring at me.
“Of course, I’m listening,” I said. I sat up straighter. “But screaming isn’t going to resolve the problem, Jim.”
“Well, you can’t be trusted to resolve it!” Jim said. “That much is clear.”
“Just let me send my technician out,” I said calmly. “He can assess the situation and then we can decide what to do from there.”
Jim’s eyes flashed. I’d never seen him so enraged. Both Trey and Turner shook their heads in disgust and turned away from me. It was too late, but I suddenly realized I’d missed something important.
“I just told you,” Jim said. His voice was low. “I already had a technician assess the fucking tools, Michael. They are all shot. Not a single one works. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I got on a goddamn plane this morning!”
I didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t realize—”
“I just fucking told you!” Jim screamed.
I flinched, and that was it. The rest of the meeting was shot to hell. Jim raged at me while I tried desperately to rectify the situation. I begged, pleading with Jim to give me one last chance to make things right.
It was no use. Jim Richardson was done. It was bad enough tha
t he flew all the way to Texas to have this conversation, but when I basically ignored him in my own conference room, his anger became too much to overcome.
“I’m done,” Jim said. He shook his head and turned toward the door.
“Wait,” I said. I jumped to my feet and hurried to block his exit. “Just give me five more minutes, okay? I’m sorry about my behavior today. I truly am. But I can fix this.”
“How?” Jim demanded.
“I’ll get your tools today,” I said firmly. “If I have to drive them to Alaska myself, I’ll get you the tools today.”
Jim was already shaking his head before I’d even finished speaking. He just shoved past me and slammed open the door.
“We won’t be working with you any longer,” Turner said simply. “I expect that our contract will be terminated without any additional charges.”
“And if not,” Trey added. “You’ll be hearing from our lawyers.”
“Trey,” I said. Desperation dripped from my lips. “Turner. Just hear me out, guys. Come on.”
“We have Christmas plans,” Turner said. “We don’t have time to waste on you, Michael.”
They followed their father out of the conference room, letting the door slam shut behind them. When it did, I sank into the first chair I could reach and put my head in my hands. What was happening to my life? How had things gotten so bad so fast?
I didn’t know how long I sat in the conference room. My head was pounding from lack of sleep and stress. Not only was my personal life in a shambles but, now, my business was falling apart, too. It was as if the entire universe had begun to plot against me overnight.
“Mr. Smart?” Marcy asked nervously. She poked her head into the conference room just as I looked up.
“Yes?” I asked weakly.
“I don’t know if you want to talk to anyone right now,” she said slowly. “But your mother is on line one for you.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Marcy.”
Marcy hurried out of the room while I slowly pushed myself to my feet. There was a phone on the opposite end of the table. I made my way over to it, wondering how my mother knew I’d be at the office.
“Hello?” I said as I put the phone to my ear.
“Michael!” My mom’s voice was bright. I closed my eyes and tried to keep my annoyance in check.
“Hi, Mom,” I said. “How’d you know I was here?”
“I didn’t,” Mom said. “But I called your house and your cell first.”
“Oh,” I said. “Sorry about that. I’ve been in a meeting all morning.”
“On a Saturday?” Mom asked. I could hear the worry in her voice.
“Everything’s fine,” I said. “Just some last-minute issues with a tool package I have up in Alaska.”
“Oh, okay,” Mom said. She didn’t really understand my work. Mostly because she never tried to. “Well, I’m sure you’ll get it all worked out.”
“I’m sure I will,” I said. “So, what’s up?”
I wanted to get off the phone quickly. My day was already miserable, and I wanted nothing more than to go back home and hide under my covers for the rest of the weekend.
“I’m calling about Christmas,” Mom said. “Are you still planning to be here?”
“Yes,” I said. “Of course.”
“Okay good!” Mom squealed. “I’m so excited. Your father is, too. He’s been planning the menu for two weeks now.”
“You don’t need to go to any trouble,” I said. “It’s just us, right?”
“Well, the neighbors may stop by,” Mom said. “But that’s another thing I wanted to ask you. Are you bringing your new girlfriend along?”
I froze. I couldn’t remember telling my mom about Julie, but I knew I must have. My mom waited silently for my answer.
“No,” I said. “Julie and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”
“Oh no,” Mom said. “What happened?”
Telling my mom about Julie’s connection to Josh would only make things more complicated. My mom, who adopted me when I was just a baby, was already nervous about my relationship with my brother. When Josh first tracked me down, Mom spent weeks trying to talk me out of meeting him. She was terrified that my biological family would somehow steal me away from her.
“It’s not worth talking about,” I said. My voice was weak. It took all my strength to keep talking. “We just didn’t work out. That’s all.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Mom said. “I could tell you really liked her.”
“You could?” I asked.
“Well,” Mom said. “You haven’t mentioned a girl to me since that horrible ex of yours. I knew this one must be special if you were telling me about her.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “She is pretty special.”
“Then—” Mom began, but I stopped her quickly.
“I have to get going,” I said. “Work is just nonstop right now, Mom.”
“Okay,” Mom said. “I understand.”
“I’ll see you for Christmas,” I said. “Love you.”
“I love you too, honey.”
I could tell my mom didn’t want to get off the phone. She was constantly worried about me. She thought I worked too much and too hard. She insisted that I didn’t have enough of a life. It probably made her so happy to find out I was seeing someone. And now, I’d disappointed her yet again.
With a groan, I left the conference room. Marcy was still sitting at her desk. She looked at me nervously when I approached.
“Cancel the Richardson contract,” I said simply. “Send them the confirmation and then go home.”
“Go home?” Marcy asked.
“It’s the holidays, Marcy,” I said. “You deserve a break.”
“Thank you,” Marcy said. “But, I don’t mind.”
“I insist.”
Marcy smiled and nodded. She immediately went to work on the Richardson paperwork. I left the office without another word.
My drive back home was slow and exhausting. In just a few days, my entire world had crumbled around me. Julie hated me. Josh wasn’t speaking to me. And my company was teetering on the brink of ruin. I felt like there was nothing I could do to make things right.
I got home and went straight to bed, tucking myself under the covers and blocking out the world. I slept most of the day, happy to have an excuse to turn off my brain. Still, when I woke up that night, Julie’s face was the first thing I thought of. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop missing her.
CHAPTER 25
JULIE
Saturday morning came too early. Andrea was passed out on my couch, but I hadn’t yet made it off the living room floor. My head ached from all the wine we drank and, yet, the hangover still didn’t hurt as badly as the memory of what happened with Michael. I could still see him leaving the night before, disappearing out my front door without a backward glance.
Andrea tried to convince me to call him. By the time we opened the second bottle of wine, she was convinced that my love for Michael was real. She pushed me to forgive him, saying that it would only make me happier if I did. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to make the phone call. As much as I still cared about him, I wasn’t ready to face him yet. I didn’t know if I would ever be ready.
“Good morning,” Andrea mumbled when she saw that I was awake. “I need water.”
“On it.” I slowly got to my feet and grabbed two water bottles out of my fridge. I tossed one to Andrea. She groaned as she opened it and took a long sip.
“I hate hangovers,” Andrea said.
“This isn’t so bad,” I said with a shrug. “I’ve had worse.”
My mind returned to thoughts of Michael. I remembered waking up beside him after his company Christmas party. My head was resting on his chest and, even though it was pounding from the alcohol, I had never felt more comfortable. Just being with Michael used to be enough, but now, I wasn’t sure.
“How are you feeling about everything?” Andrea asked. She sat up slowly
with another groan.
I shrugged. “I’m fine, I guess.”
“Have you thought any more about calling him?” she asked.
I shook my head and turned away. Today was going to be a long day. My parents were expecting me at their place by lunch.
“Just think about it,” Andrea said. “I won’t push you anymore.”
“Thank you.” I smiled, but it didn’t quite reach my eyes.
“Are you heading home soon?” Andrea asked.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “My parents want me there for lunch. You?”
“I’ll see mine on Christmas morning,” Andrea said. “But I have to get back to Dallas for work. My shift starts in like two hours.”
“Damn.” I laughed. “Have fun with that.”
“Yeah, fuck you.” Andrea groaned again, but it quickly turned into a laugh.
It took us a while to get moving, but soon, we were both heading out the door. Andrea walked to her car with a giant cup of coffee in her hand. I waved goodbye and climbed into my car, happy to be alone for the short drive back to my parents’ house.
As much as Andrea helped the night before, I needed time to myself. It was hard to wrap my head around everything that had happened between me, Michael, and Joshua. Accepting that they were brothers was hard enough, but finding out that Michael had been lying all this time felt impossible. Even after two days, I still couldn’t make sense of it.
Luckily, I didn’t have long to dwell. When I pulled into my parents’ driveway, my sister ran outside to greet me. Layla was on her hip, bouncing around happily and waving her arms at me.
“Hey,” I said as I hurried over to them.
Bethany pulled me in for a tight hug while Layla played with my hair. I kissed my niece on the cheek before turning my attention to Bethany. She was watching me closely, a slight frown on her face.
“What’s the matter?” she asked immediately.
“Don’t.” I shot her a warning look as our mom and dad stepped outside. “Not now.”
Bethany nodded and stood aside while I said hello to our parents. They both hugged me and quickly ushered me inside. My dad took my suitcase upstairs to my old bedroom. I’d be staying for a couple of days, although I wasn’t sure that was the best idea.
