A cold panic gripped at Red's chest, and his eyes widened as he took a closer look at the man who seemed just as surprised by the news as Red was. The man, upon closer examination, seemed to be a bit older than Red, probably in his late twenties, with an athletic build and a mop of messy brown hair. His clothes were high quality but haphazard, his shirt half tucked in and the top few buttons undone to reveal a small patch of chest hair. And his eyes, a deep hazel, betrayed a fear that Red was sure was present in his as well.
"Yes," Red said, even as the man said "No."
Red closed his eyes, suppressed a groan, opened them to find the man pasting on a fake smile and standing.
"I mean, of course we are," the man said, and spread his arms to take Red in a deep hug.
"Jack," the man whispered, hopefully too soft for Esmeralda to hear, just as Red said, "Sonya." Jack released his grip and stood back, smiling.
"People always did say that Sonya and I were more like brother and sister rather than cousins," Jack said, and Red smiled and nodded along, glad that the man could seem sincere even when making a lie up on the spot. "Jack and Sonya, inseparable scamps, bound by the twin tragedies of our parents' deaths." He actually sounded upset at the thought, and Red thought he could see a lone tear trickle down the side of his face. No doubt about it, then—Jack was a fellow conman.
"Stranger still that I have no recollection of having any children," Esmeralda said, shaking her head, and Red couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or actually confused. "And I had more than one?"
"Twins," Red said, not wanting Jack to think that he was completely useless. With the two of them there, they'd have to negotiate what happened next, and Red didn't want to be indebted to Jack for getting them out of their shared mess. "And victims of a terrible curse that erased their pasts. So no one from their old lives remembered them, you tragically included, just as they couldn't remember you. We only recently were able to trace their travels back here and discover their, and our, true lineage."
"Ah," Esmeralda said, and shrugged. "That would explain it then. And these cookies are for me?" She reached into the basket and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie. Red nodded.
"Anyway," Jack said, "I'm sure that the shock of learning that you have an entire family to acquaint yourself with is a bit overwhelming. If you tell us where me and Sonya here can rest our feet after our long journey to find you, we'll give you some time to adjust."
Esmeralda continued looking at the cookie before nodding and motioning toward a hallway leading away from the large sitting room.
"Down there, first two doors on the left," she said, not taking her eyes off the baked good, and Red and Jack shared a confused expression before shrugging and making their escape.
They both stepped into the first room and immediately Jack shut the door with an angry grunt.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded, and Red sighed, crossed the room and sat heavily on the bed.
"What am I doing?" Red asked. "I think it should be obvious, as you seem to be doing the same thing."
Jack opened his mouth, closed it, ran a hand through his hair, then plastered on a winning smile.
"I'm sorry, I think we got off on the wrong foot," he said and slid closer, licking his lips slowly as his eyes ran up and down Red's body. "I'm Jack."
Red wanted to laugh, part because Jack obviously had no clue who he was dealing with and because Big's plan had completely backfired. Instead of making him less threatening to an old woman, the dress seemed to have succeeded only in making him more attractive to this conman. Not that Jack was bad looking. His smile was roguish, and his body looked tightly muscled, probably from a life of running away from bad situations. He wasn't as tall as Big, or as wide, but he did look like he knew how to have a good time, as long as Red kept an eye on his valuables the entire time.
"You used your real name?" Red asked, not quite willing to give his own. Rule one in deception was never giving your real name, but Jack only laughed at the question.
"Of course," he said. "I'm kind of a big deal, after all." He struck a pose as if that action alone would cause Red to recognize him. A dejected look crossed Jack's face. "Come on, you've never heard of Jack and the Beanstalk? Jack the Giant Slayer? Jack of Hearts? Jack-of-all-trades?"
Red squinted. Of course he had heard all those names before. But to think that the man behind him was the Jack was ridiculous. No man could be all those Jacks.
"Really?" was all Red asked, though, and Jack gave a devilish grin.
"Also Jack the sex machine, if you listen to the right stories." Jack kept approaching, and Red stood so he couldn't be trapped on the bed. He retreated toward the room's fireplace.
"Uh huh," Red said. "Sure."
"You know you're cute when you're dubious?" Jack said, still gliding closer.
Red huffed and grabbed the hem of his dress, saw Jack's eyes light up as he pulled it up, revealing his thighs and further still, until the fabric revealed his undergarment and, more importantly, his obvious bulge within it.
"You can drop the act, okay?" Red said, enjoying the look of surprise on Jack's face, the shock. The… desire? Red gaped as Jack licked his lips.
"It's a nice look on you," Jack said, and Red growled even as a noise from the window across the room caused them both to turn and see Big's confused face taking in the scene.
"What the hell is going on here?" Big asked as Red's face flushed a deep scarlet.
*~*~*
"So you're partners?" Jack asked as the three of them sat cross-legged on the bed, Red tucked slightly behind Big, who had spent the last ten minutes listening to them explain what had happened and how what he had walked in on had not been what it seemed. Jack pointed to Big. "And you're a werewolf."
"Yeah," Big said, voice still with a dangerous edge to it. "I'm Big."
"You certainly are," Jack said, eyes traveling across Big's bare chest and downward, towards his—
"And I'm Red," Red said, snapping Jack's attention back up. Jack smiled guiltily, but Red could tell he wasn't being apologetic. The man was transparent. Jack laughed and leaned forward, suggestive grin on his face, hand extended in greeting.
"And I'm Jack," he said. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I can already tell we're going to be great friends."
Red had to admit, his persistence was commendable. And he was almost charming when it wasn't just Red having to deal him alone. Big growled, though, and Red put a hand on his shoulder.
"Maybe we should figure out what we're doing next," Red said. Big gave him a surprised look.
"You mean we're actually working with this…" He gestured toward Jack.
"This man who was technically here before you and doesn't need your permission to stay if I want," Jack said, and Big bit his lower lip, muscles in his back quivering slightly, the telltale sign that he wanted to shift to full wolf and sink his teeth into the man's throat. Giant slayer or no, Red doubted the conman would survive if Big decided he was going to let his wolf do the talking.
"It's damage done, in any event," Red said. "Esmeralda's already met both of us. So we're in this together, or out together. I thought everyone would still want to make something out of this."
Jack gave a triumphant smile and Big groaned, but nodded.
"Since we're going to be working together, then, and since my reputation obviously precedes me," Jack said, "why don't you two tell me a bit more about yourselves."
"Nothing to tell," Big said, but Jack ignored him and scooted closer to Red. If looks could kill, Big's would probably have been reserved for capital punishment. For traitors and evil wizards. Who ate puppies.
"I'm from a little place far to the north," Red said, remembering the snowy mountains he had called home once. A long time ago, it seemed, and not long enough. "I... didn't get on well with my family."
Jack nodded, expression unreadable. On a more genuine person, Red might have almost called it concern.
"Because of... who I
am, my parents decided I would make a great sacrifice to the Great Mountain Spirit which had been plaguing the area for weeks, eating goats and making off with valuables. I was beaten and tied naked in the snow for the elements or the monster to take. Even if it did nothing to stop the thefts..."
The images of that day came rushing back. He was supposed to be the eldest, the one to carry on the family name. He was supposed to be a man, set a good example for his siblings. He had just wanted, more than anything, to be away. But the only way his parents had been comfortable letting him go was into the cold embrace of death. Except that when the feeling fled his limbs and the cold seemed on the verge of warmth, it wasn't death that found him.
"I still say you should have let me kill them," Big said. Even after so long, there was still a rawness to his voice, an anger. A passion.
"They're not worth it," Red said. "And they're no longer our concern. I'm free of them. We're free of them."
For a moment Jack said nothing, his gaze bouncing from Big to Red, to the things they left unsaid between them. For a moment only, though. Jack settled on Big and a smile crept across his face.
"So you were the Great Mountain Spirit?" Jack asked.
Big huffed. "You're not the only one with a lot of bullshit names."
"Obviously not," he said, "though I'd be interested to know what you went by before that. I've heard rumors of werewolves in the lands beyond the mountains. The stories they tell—"
"Are equally bullshit," Big snapped. Red's eyes widened. He had never really gotten the full story about Big's past. Given Red's own experiences, he knew that you couldn't help where you came from, and that people shouldn't have to explain if they didn't want to. But that didn't stop him from being curious.
Jack raised his hands. "Good to know," he said. "Though really, giant cocks and amazing sexual stamina are nothing to be ashamed of."
Even Big couldn't help but crack a smile at that, and Red laughed.
"What exactly is our next move, though?" Jack asked. "If we're going to be working together, after all, it sort of means we have to figure out a new way to get at the old woman's fortunes."
"We move on to phase two," Big said.
"Does it involve whipped cream and blindfolds?" Jack asked, and Big crossed his large arms over his chest, fixing the man with a withering look.
"Now that you're in," Big said, "we need to motivate her to think about her mortality, to get her to name you heirs and give you some money out the door."
"And you had something in mind?" Jack asked.
Big gave a toothy grin.
"I think it's time that a big, bad wolf paid a visit to grandmother's house."
*~*~*
When Jack and Red stepped back out into the sitting room, Esmeralda was much as they had left her, still staring at cookie in her hand, though the basket she had been carrying was now on one of the couches, obviously empty.
"Did you enjoy the baked goods, granny?" Red asked, trying to sound as sweet as possible. Esmeralda started, then turned to look at them as if they were complete strangers. Perhaps the rumor that she was losing her mind was true, after all.
"Ah, Sonya, Jack," she said after a moment, recognition flashing, "yes, the cookies were delightful. I do so love sweets. I remember once having a whole house of them, but that didn't end very well."
"I can imagine," Jack said, laughing. "All that sugar would go straight to my hips."
Esmeralda pursed her lips but said nothing for a moment, then stood and walked off toward what looked like the kitchen.
"Perhaps you dears need something to eat?" she asked, and they followed her to a cozy kitchen with the largest oven Red had ever seen.
"You must be able to make tons of cookies in that," Red said, and Esmeralda smiled.
"Oh, I can make all sorts of things with this," she said, and then grabbed an apron from where it hung on a hook. Tying it on, she herded Red and Jack onto stools and took her time examining them.
"Hardly anything to you, is there?" she asked, reaching a hand up to grip Red's wrist and give it a squeeze that was a bit stronger than Red would have thought possible for a woman so old. "We'll definitely have to put some meat on those bones."
Her gaze shifted to Jack, who smiled broadly despite the rather strange feeling Red was getting from the whole situation. There was something, well, almost hungry about the way she was looking at them that made him nervous. Hopefully Big would just make his entrance already.
"You, on the other hand, look like a healthy young man," Esmeralda said, and Red could have sworn she licked her lips at that, though maybe her mouth was just dry.
A howl ripped through the awkward silence, and Esmeralda's face puckered in something that could have been anger or could have been confusion.
"What was that?" Red said, standing and placing a hand over his mouth.
"It sounded like a wolf," Jack said, grin gone and replaced by a grim seriousness. "A big one."
Red gasped, keeping one eye on Esmeralda, who pursed her lips.
"It did sound like a wolf," she said, and Red and Jack both nodded vigorously as another howl came, closer this time, probably right outside the large, stained-glass windows.
"Are there normally such dangerous creatures out here?" Red asked, and Esmeralda shook her head. Jack shrugged.
"It's how things are going, though," he said, with what Red thought was just a bit too much smug satisfaction. "The times are changing. First a lone wolf, then gangs of roving ruffians looking to murder whatever elderly victims they can find." He clucked his disapproval and shook his head. Red suppressed a sigh.
"I've not been bothered out here for a long time," Esmeralda said, "especially not from... roving gangs."
"Well, of course not," Jack said, and Red rolled his eyes as the man refused to tone down his tactics. "It's kids these days. Totally without morals. Willing to rob from their own grandmother and sleep with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that crosses their path."
Red opened his mouth to speak but found himself speechless. Both he and Esmeralda merely stared as Jack continued.
"What I'm saying, I mean, is that you can never be too careful these days," he said just as a third howl rang even louder. "Best to have all your affairs in order just in case the unfortunate happens along."
"Oh, I don't think I have much to fear," Esmeralda said, a slow smile inching up the corners of her mouth.
"Don't kid yourself," Jack said, and as if to underscore the statement there was another howl, closer now, almost directly next to the house. "It is very dangerous out there."
"I'm sure it is, deary," she said, and that smile just kept inching up, her mouth almost inhumanly large. She held up her hand, which glowed faintly. "But that should handle things quite nicely."
"Excuse me?" Jack asked, looking around, but Red felt a chill run through him. That was no trick of the light. That was... magic.
"What did you just do?" Red asked, trying not to voice the sudden desperation he felt. Trust Big to pick the one defenseless old woman who knew how to use magic. There was a rumble and the whole house shook, shook again, like someone was beating on an enormous drum.
"Just activated my automated Woodsmen guardians, of course," Esmeralda said, and shrugged. Red's eyes went wide and without another word, he rushed back into the main room, and stopped short at the entryway as he caught sight of what was making the house shake and rattle.
They looked almost like men. Except they were ten feet tall, their bodies a mixture of gleaming metal and burnished wood. They moved with awkward jerks, but there was a power to them, a pent up violence that sent Red's heart sinking through the floor. They moved with a singular purpose: humanoid, but with axes instead of arms, eyes burning with a magic fire that made them seem like demons, and with each step the house shook like the floor only held them up for fear of what they might do if it let them through.
"Those will take care of that bad old wolf, no problem," Esmeralda said, suddenly behind Red, and he f
ought back an urge to strike her or call out a warning to Big. Fear gripped him, fear and anger and frustration all mixing inside him, twisting his emotions.
"You can't—" Red started to say, wondering if confessing everything would make her call them off. Already they were to the doors, which began a clockwork dance of movement, the barricades peeling away and down, the doors swinging out as the woodsmen reached them. From outside, there was another howl. Big probably thought this was still all just a ploy.
"Where'd you get those?" Jack asked, apparently not worried at all about the bladed killing machines Esmeralda had just produced, nor the magic she had obviously used to awaken them.
"I made them," Esmeralda said, and turned back into the kitchen. Jack followed, pulling Red along with him. From outside there was a loud crash, and a part of Red shattered at the thought of Big... of...
"That's quite the feat," Jack said. "You know, have you ever thought about going into business in home security? I just so happen to know a few people who would very interested in your techniques. A little start-up money and I'm sure you'd see a huge return on your investment."
Esmeralda stared a moment longer, eyes wide at Jack, then gave a laugh that sounded nothing like that of a harmless old woman. It was a cackle: a harsh, barking laugh that sent new chills running down Red's spine.
"That has got to be the worst attempt at swindling me out of my money I've ever heard," she said, and with each word she unbent a bit more, straightened before their eyes until she stood at her full height. With a flick of her hands, the old woman they had met disappeared, replaced by a woman who, while not really young, was ages younger than the one who had stood there a moment ago.
"And I've heard a great many," she continued. "All I need to do is spread the word that the rich old woman in the woods is losing her mind, and you all come running. Idiots hoping to cash in." Her eyes lingered on Red.
"Unfortunately, you aren't typically well-fed. Just hungry little things. But you're not the only ones who are hungry." She turned, facing Jack, her smile ragged as a broken mirror. "Lucky for me, this time I'll be able to eat my fill."
Fairytales Slashed: Volume 8 Page 13
