by Last, K. A.
Josh’s fangs extended and he looked crazed. He was holding me tightly but I didn’t flinch, protecting myself was not a problem.
“Grace, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You know I’d never hurt you.”
“I know.”
“I never had the chance to wish you a happy birthday,” he said, reaching into his pocket.
With one arm still around me he handed me a small black box. I already knew what lay inside, an image of a delicate blue sapphire ring had come to the front of Josh’s mind. He wore the ring’s partner on his left hand.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” I said, opening the box and staring at the sapphire.
“I got it before, you know, that night. I even had it engraved. Your name is on mine so you’re with me always. You don’t have to wear it but I hope you do.”
“Thank you,” I said, closing the box and pushing it into my pocket on top of the little red pouch.
“I love you,” Josh said.
“I know that, too.”
“Then why have you never said it back?”
I didn’t know what to say. How could I tell him everything I was feeling in that moment? How could I say that it wasn’t about him anymore, and there were so many other things I needed to worry about.
“Maybe we rushed into it,” I said.
“Yeah, maybe we did,” he agreed.
“There is so much I wish I could undo.”
Josh didn’t reply. He simply held me and stared at the valley. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the silence of his heart.
Finally I asked, “What are you going to do about your dad? Have you seen him since…?”
“No. I’ve been home, but I haven’t let him see me. I’m not really sure what to do about that part of my situation. I’ve spoken to him like I usually do so he doesn’t suspect anything is wrong.”
“Hasn’t the school called him?”
“It’s amazing what I can do with my glamour,” he said with a cheeky smile.
I wanted to ask him about Charlotte, if he’d seen or spoken to her, but I couldn’t bring myself to say her name. Her lies still made me angry, and at that point I thought it better that I didn’t know where she was.
Instead, I asked, “Do you feel any different? You know, after your change?” I closed my eyes and waited for his answer.
“I don’t know, Grace,” he said. “Yes and no. I’m not proud of what I did to Ryan, I was angry, and that anger really scared me. I do know the one thing that’s constant is you.”
I gently pulled away and untangled myself from his embrace, then walked a few steps to the edge of the rock. I wrapped my arms around myself. It wasn’t cold, but I felt a chill run through me none the less.
“I can’t tell you if everything will be alright, because I don’t know that it will be,” I said. “I have given up so much to protect the people I love. I’ve been betrayed, I’ve lost Emma, and…” I paused, not wanting to say Seth’s name, it was too painful. “I thought I’d lost you,” I finished. “So please tell me how everything will be ok, because I don’t have the answers.”
“It’s Seth, isn’t it?”
My body stiffened at the sound of his name and it hung between us like lead. I turned to Josh, his eyes were ice cold and I’d known it would come to this, I’d just been denying it. From the moment Josh had turned up, the subject of Seth was on the agenda.
“I have to go after him. I can’t leave him trapped.”
“Why, Grace, why not?”
I couldn’t believe he’d asked me that question. If Josh knew me as well as he thought he did he wouldn’t have needed to ask.
“Because no matter how much you hate him he helped us. There is an eternity of history between Seth and me. I don’t abandon my friends. And because he would do the same for me.”
“Would he?” Josh spat. “It seems he did a pretty good job of abandoning you all those years ago, when he fell.”
“You don’t know…”
“You love him,” he said.
My words caught in my throat and I couldn’t go on. I shook my head and pleaded, “Please don’t do this.”
I went to Josh and took his hand, entwining my fingers with his. I wished I could fly us away, I didn’t care where, and anywhere would do. I wanted him and I wanted us to be together, but we both knew that could never happen with Seth hanging over our heads.
“I know you won’t give up until you find him. And I can’t be here helping you. I can’t stand beside you and watch as you search for your ex-lover,” Josh said.
“Seth was never my…”
“It doesn’t matter,” he yelled as he yanked his hand from mine. “I just can’t.”
Suddenly, I felt cold, and all I wanted was Josh’s arms around me, but he was angry and I couldn’t blame him. I’d betrayed him once and he wasn’t sure if I’d do it again. It hurt, standing there being able to read him like an open book. If only I’d let him read me, too, he’d know things I could never possibly explain, but I wasn’t ready to show him my past.
“Please hold me,” I said.
I looked up into his dark eyes. He was thinking he would come here and end things quickly like he had with Abby, he wanted to rip the Band-Aid off and toss it over his shoulder and never look back. If only it were that simple. I moved closer and rested my head on his chest, waiting for him to hold me. For too long he stood there, arms by his side. When he finally did reach around and embrace me I sobbed, and he squeezed gently. Josh lifted my chin and gently brushed my lips with his.
“I’m leaving, Grace.”
Those were words I didn’t want to hear, and I shook my head in denial. Josh held me close to him and stroked my hair trying to calm me. My body was shaking as the truth of what he’d said sunk in. He’d just come back, I didn’t want him to leave.
“Where will you go?” I whispered.
“It doesn’t matter. Maybe I’ll follow Charlotte. I just know I can’t be here, with you.”
For a few minutes I grappled with my thoughts, trying to find a way to make this work, but I knew it couldn’t. As long as I was looking for Seth, Josh couldn’t be here, and giving up on Seth was not something I was prepared to do.
“How does the saying go?” Josh gently rested his forehead against mine. “If you love someone, set them free.”
He let go and stepped back. My world suddenly felt smaller, colder and less bearable outside his embrace. I wanted to scream, to close the gap between us that was quickly turning into a chasm, but I couldn’t move.
“I’m setting you free,” he said. “Go and find Seth, and when you’re done with that, come back to me.”
“I promise I will.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“Josh…” I breathed, but I couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out, and before I had the chance to take a step towards him, he was gone.
For what seemed like forever I stared at the mouth of the path, hoping he would come back. After a while I took the small black box from my pocket and flipped it open. The ring inside was so beautiful. Carefully, I pulled it out. A flawless sapphire sat in the centre with a sparkling diamond on either side. I held it up to the moonlight, and the inscription on the inside of the delicate silver band simply read Josh. I turned it over in my fingers a few times then spotted something white sticking out of the box. Tucked under the black velvet cushion was a note, and I couldn’t get it out fast enough to read it.
Dear Grace,
The past two weeks without you have been the hardest of my life. When I found you, I thought I’d found the one thing that made me whole, the missing piece to fill the space in my heart. Now, I am lost, and it’s like the pieces don’t fit together properly. I’m not walking away because I want to, but because I have to. We both have things we need to deal with, and it’s something we can’t do together. Hopefully when we reach the other side, our pieces will be re-worked and our broken hearts will fit back together. No ma
tter what happens, I will always love you.
Josh x
I wasn’t quick enough to catch the tear before it fell from my cheek and stained the piece of paper. Gently, I folded it along the creases, tucked it inside the box and pushed it into my pocket. I stared at the ring in the palm of my hand, trying to decide what to do. The moonlight made the silver shine and the sapphire twinkle. I knew if I put it on that I would be making a promise, and I needed to be sure I could keep it.
Tears stung my eyes as I slipped the ring onto my left hand, up and over the knuckle of my middle finger, until it sat perfectly in place.
“And I will always love you, Josh,” I said.
If there was one thing I was good at, it was keeping my promises.
Find out what happens next in
FIGHT FOR ME
The second instalment in
THE TATE CHRONICLES
COMING SOON
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http://www.kalastbooks.com.au
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Writing is something I’ve always wanted to do, and when I discovered how much I enjoyed pounding the keys on my laptop, everything else seemed to take a back seat, including eating and sleeping.
I’d like to thank my wonderful husband, Brendon, and my two children, for their support and encouragement. Without them I would not have persevered when things weren’t working out the way I’d seen them in my head. Their understanding is second to none, especially when I’m off in my make believe world. Bren, you are my rock, and I love how you encourage me no matter what crazy thing it is I’m trying to do.
Thank you to my wonderful parents, to my brother, Paul, and sister-in-law, Kylie, and the rest of my family. Your on-going support is greatly appreciated. Sometimes a simple word of encouragement is all it takes to get the ballpoint pen rolling again.
My network of Facebook friends, thank you for enduring countless happy dances, left field quotes, weird vampire addictions, cover proof questions, and crazy comments about my great and not so great moments on the road to publishing this novel.
Thank you to the wonderful girls in my book club: Katrina, Lisa, Fiona, Jen, Meredith and Caroline. I have read so many great books over the past few years that I would never have otherwise picked up.
Huge thanks to the team at NaNoWriMo for setting up a fantastic way of unleashing my creativity. The result at the end of the month may not be a literary masterpiece, but the challenge is all consuming, and the support network is fantastic.
Thank you to Anne for being one of the first to read Fall For Me in its early stages. I treasure our friendship, your unwavering belief in me, and your brutal honesty. Sometimes it takes another eye to see where you’ve gone wrong and put you back on the right path.
Big thanks to Amy for your valued friendship, and the encouragement to never stop following my dreams. I am grateful for you. You are truly inspirational and divinely beautiful. You help me to always try and have faith in myself.
Thank you to Kylie for letting me chew your ear off about so many things. I love our long conversations over steaming hot cups of tea.
And lastly, a huge thanks from the bottom of my heart to Katrina: my proof reader, editor, and closest friend. Thank you for putting up with the seemingly endless versions of this novel, and never once complaining about reading it. Thank you for your honesty, loyalty and unfaltering encouragement. And thank you for being there right from the start.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
K. A. Last was born in Subiaco, Western Australia, and moved to Sydney with her parents and older brother when she was eight. Artistic and creative by nature, she studied Graphic Design and graduated with an Advanced Diploma. After marrying her high school sweetheart, she concentrated on her career before settling into family life. Blessed with a vivid imagination, she began writing to let off creative steam, and fell in love with it. Fall For Me is her first novel. She now resides in a peaceful leafy suburb north of Sydney with her husband, their two children, and a rabbit named Twitch.
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