“They were fun.” As he said the words he knew that wasn’t the whole truth. “You knew I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend or anything serious.”
No emotion showed on her face. “You made it quite clear.”
Rachel waved mistletoe in the air. She motioned him over.
Leanne’s lips thinned. “Guess the reporter didn’t get the memo about you not wanting a girlfriend for Christmas.”
The hurt in Leanne’s voice rang clear. He felt like a jerk, but it was better this way. Might as well finish it. “Kissing doesn’t make a woman my girlfriend.”
Something inside her seemed to turn off. Her eyes dimmed.
Christian didn’t like it. He touched her arm.
She jerked away as if burned. “Don’t.”
Her reaction bothered him. “Hey, we’re friends.”
“No, rookie. We were never friends. A friend doesn’t need to pay back another friend for helping them.” She spoke with a curt tone that made him feel like slime. “You’d better go see to Rachel. If you blow her off, she’ll never go out with you on New Year’s Eve.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but Leanne was walking away.
Christian’s chest felt like it might explode as he watched her go, but what else could he do? Say? They wanted different things in life. She deserved someone who could give her what she wanted. But thinking about Leanne with another guy left a surprisingly bitter taste in his mouth.
“Christian.” Rachel saddled up against him in a low-cut sparkly red dress. She held mistletoe over her head. “It’s my turn to kiss the firefighter under the mistletoe.”
Habit kept Leanne from showing any emotion on her way out of the room. She stopped by the coat check to retrieve her jacket and purse.
Hannah exited the ladies’ room and rushed over. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“The night’s still young.”
“I’m…” Her voice cracked.
Hannah grabbed her arm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything. I feel so stupid.” Leanne sniffled. “Christian isn’t interested in me. He was only trying to pay OMSAR back for rescuing him and Owen.”
“I saw the way he kissed you.”
“He’s under the mistletoe kissing a news reporter the same way right now.” Leanne’s throat tightened. “I’m nothing…special.”
Her heart shattered. Which made matters a hundred times worse. She had known better.
“Lee—”
“I don’t know why I’m so upset. I’m blowing this all out of proportion.” She shrugged on her coat. “We aren’t involved. We only kissed a couple of times.”
“You have feelings for him.”
“Had. Past tense.” Loneliness allowed her feelings to get carried away. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. “Welton’s a coworker. Nothing more.”
Concern clouded Hannah’s eyes. “Want a ride home?”
Leanne had ridden with Zoe and Sean to the dinner, but she could walk home. “Thanks, but I’ve got it under control.”
Hannah hugged her. “Call me if you need anything.”
Leanne left without a glance back. After six feet in her high heels on snow-covered sidewalks, she realized walking home wasn’t possible. She needed a ride, but the only transportation she saw was the horse-drawn sleigh. She pulled out her wallet and climbed aboard. The driver handed her a wool blanket.
As the sleigh headed down Main Street, the jingling bells irritated her. This ride would be so romantic if she weren’t alone. But she was always alone. Probably always would be. Tears welled in her eyes, but she didn’t cry.
When she arrived at her town house, half the Christmas lights on her house were out. Just her luck. Inside, petals from the poinsettia plant Christian had given her lay on the floor.
Leanne felt as if she was withering inside, but she didn’t know how to make things better. Friends weren’t enough anymore. Her job, either. She wanted more. She wanted…
The telephone rang. She ignored it. She didn’t check caller ID. Someone was either going to ask why she’d cut out early or tell her how successful the celebration today had been.
If that kind of magic existed, she wouldn’t feel so awful and alone.
Christmas magic. She kicked off her high heels. What a joke.
CHAPTER TWELVE
BY TUESDAY morning, Leanne had resolved not to let Welton get to her. She was a big girl. It was time she acted like one.
She dried the tears from her eyes, put on her uniform and arrived fifteen minutes early for her shift. Not bad considering she hadn’t showered on Sunday and Monday.
But she’d realized something important. Welton couldn’t give her what she wanted. It was all about being in control with him. Yes, she was hurting, but he could never love her the way she wanted to be loved. He wasn’t the kind of man she wanted to be with. Not now. Certainly not long-term or…forever.
The realization didn’t ease the ache in her heart, but it helped work through the swirling emotions.
That afternoon, she watched pickup trucks loaded with toy donations leave the station to deliver gifts to local families and other charities.
“You did it, Thomas,” Christian said.
Her chest tightened. Time to toughen up. Not be affected by him.
“You were on the committee, too.” Then she remembered. He was repaying a debt. The toy drive and Christmas celebration hadn’t mattered to him. “Never mind.”
An older couple entered the fire station. The man and woman moved slowly as if trying to protect their fragile bones. She carried a round tin in one hand and held the man’s hand with her other. They looked familiar. Leanne remembered why. The woman had been a patient.
Grateful for the distraction, she walked over to them. “Hello, I’m Leanne Thomas. How can I help you?”
“I’m Mabel Nichols. This is my husband, Earl. These are for you.” The woman’s hand trembled as she gave the tin to Leanne. “Snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies. I baked them fresh this morning.”
Leanne smiled at the couple. “Two of my favorites.”
“It’s a small way of saying a big thank-you for saving my Mabel’s life after her heart attack,” Earl said.
“You look well,” Leanne said to Mabel. “How are you feeling?”
Mabel’s green eyes twinkled. “Much better these days.”
Paulson, O’Ryan and Welton greeted the couple. Everyone tasted one of the delicious cookies.
“I remember you,” Christian said. “Heart attack. Code save.”
A “code save” was someone who wasn’t breathing or didn’t have a pulse when the rigs arrived, but was alive by the time they arrived at the hospital.
The man kissed his wife’s hand with such adoration and tenderness it took Leanne’s breath away. She fought the urge to look at Christian. She wouldn’t give in to that temptation.
“Today is our sixty-fourth wedding anniversary,” Earl said. “We are blessed to have six children, thirteen grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. I’m so grateful to have the love of my life with us this Christmas. She wouldn’t be here without all of you.”
The love in his voice brought tears to Leanne’s eyes. She blinked them away.
After a few more thanks and cookies, the couple left, holding hands like teenagers experiencing the first blush of love.
Hope blossomed in Leanne’s heart. Maybe she could find that.
“See,” Christian said.
“What?” she asked.
“They wanted to pay us back for saving Mabel’s life. The same way I did with the toy drive and Christmas celebration,” Christian explained. “It’s no different from me.”
Leanne faced him. “There’s a big difference, rookie. Mabel said thank you out of gratitude from the very heart that had stopped beating. Earl thanked us from a heart that isn’t mourning the loss of his beloved wife this Christmas. But you wouldn’t understand that, because you just don’t want to
feel indebted. Your heart isn’t involved because you protect it too much. You’re so afraid of being pressured and losing control you can’t even let someone do something nice for you. I have only one thing to say to you. Get over yourself, rookie.”
With that, she walked away. This was the last shift she had to work with him until after Christmas. Maybe she’d switch a few more shifts so she wouldn’t have to see him until the New Year.
Thursday night, customers filled every single table at the brew-bub. The smell of beer and grease wafted in the air. The din of conversations drowned out the Christmas carols playing from overhead speakers. A pine swag decorated with miniature lights, holly and pinecones hung around the bar.
Christian sat next to his cousin Kaitlyn. Owen sat opposite them so he had room to rest his broken ankle. A pitcher of beer and a plateful of pretzels sat on the table.
Owen glanced around. “Business is booming.”
Christian nodded. “It’s been this way since Saturday.”
Kaitlyn dipped a piece of pretzel into the brewpub’s special mustard sauce. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Christian. You knew what you were doing with that celebration thing.”
Owen nodded. “Imagine what you could do at the winery.”
“I had help.” Christian took a long swig of Mistletoe Ale, the brewery’s special winter ale. The beer tasted good going down his throat. He didn’t want to think about Leanne.
“Grandpa said you showed him a storefront,” Kaitlyn continued.
Christian stared into his glass. “I did.”
Owen leaned forward. “Thinking of moonlighting?”
“My life is here.”
Owen’s gaze pinned his. “Your family isn’t.”
Family is so important, Welton. You have no idea how lucky you are to have people who love you so much. Find a way to work things out. Compromise.
Leanne’s words echoed in Christian’s head. He was trying. “You’re all here for Christmas.
“You only work about ten days a month.” Owen wasn’t being swayed. “That leaves you plenty of time to work at the winery.”
Christian took another drink of his beer. “You have it all figured out.”
Kaitlyn covered his hand with hers. “We know what Hood Hamlet means to you. But we miss you. Grandma and Grandpa aren’t getting any younger.”
“We’ll have plenty of time to talk about things over Christmas.” Christian had lucked out with the shift rotation this year. “I’ve got Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.”
A familiar laugh floated across the room. The sweet sound wrapped itself around Christian’s heart and squeezed tight. Leanne. He glanced across the crowded dining room. She sat with Bill Paulson, Dr. Cullen Gray and Johnny Gearhart.
“Hey,” Kaitlyn said. “Isn’t that your mountain rescuer? The one you kissed under the mistletoe much to the chagrin of every single man there. Lee-something?”
“The beautiful Leanne.” Owen glanced around. “Where?”
“At a table with the three hotties,” Kaitlyn said. “Rough life being surrounded by gorgeous men at work and at play.”
Owen shifted to get a better view. “The one in the plaid shirt is Bill Paulson. The guy in the black thermal top is Dr. Gray. Not sure about the other one.”
Christian stared over his beer. “Johnny Gearhart.”
“He’s as gorgeous as the other two.” Kaitlyn fluffed the ends of her hair. “I’d like an introduction to all three, please. They look totally into Leanne, but there’s only one of her. I’m happy to take whoever’s left.”
Each of Christian’s muscles tensed. He rolled his shoulders.
Get over yourself, rookie.
She didn’t know what she was talking about. Not that it mattered. He didn’t want a girlfriend. Thomas was free to date whoever she wanted. It was absolutely none of his business what she did or who she spent her nights with.
Owen slid from the booth. He grabbed his crutches. “I’m going over there.”
“Sit down,” Christian said.
“She saved my life.” Owen adjusted the crutches under his arms. “The least I can do is say hello. Coming?”
Christian refilled his glass. “I see her at the station.”
That was plenty. More than enough actually.
Outside the Willinghams’ log cabin, on December 23, familiar sounding sirens wailed.
Leanne’s pulse quickened. She gripped the back of a kitchen chair.
Hannah Willingham placed colorful birthday plates next to the Thomas the Tank Engine cake. “Wish you were with them?”
Leanne pictured Christian in the engine with his helmet strapped under his chin. His eyes would be dark. His lips pressed together in thoughtful contemplation. So serious. So handsome. Such a jerk.
She needed to stop thinking about him.
Leanne released the chair. “And miss my godson’s second birthday? No way. I’m so happy Stan traded shifts with me.”
Hannah placed two blue candles into the cake. “You’ll have to work Christmas Eve and Christmas morning again.”
“Stan needs to be with his family.” Leanne didn’t want to wake up alone on Christmas morning. That was why she always traded shifts over the holidays. The station was the only family she had. She’d rather be there than home. “I’m off in time to go to church and snowshoeing.”
“Austin and Kendall can’t wait for the snowshoeing.”
“They missed Sean and Denali last year.”
“Yes, but this year they get Zoe, too.”
“Our little group keeps getting bigger.”
Hannah wiped her hands on the towel. “Will anyone else be joining in the fun?”
“Not that I know of.”
“What about Christian?” Hannah asked.
Leanne stiffened.
“Nothing’s going on. I got carried away. Caught up in the holiday spirit and success of the event, that’s all.”
“And the kiss under the mistletoe?”
“No big deal.”
Hannah took a picture of the cake. “You sure about that?”
Leanne thought about the elderly couple at the station. “Positive. I know what I want now.”
“What?”
“I want to meet a man, fall in love, get married and have a family.”
But that wasn’t going to happen until she made some changes in her life. Being one of the guys had served its purpose while she was growing up and finding her way as a paramedic. But she needed to move beyond that if she was ever going to find a man who would love her, not who he thought she was.
“That man isn’t Welton,” she admitted with a pang. “I only wish I knew who he was.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Hannah said. “There are lots of men out there besides those who live in Hood Hamlet. Garrett lived in Portland when we met.”
“Jake introduced you to him.”
Hannah nodded. “I just had to let myself be open to possibilities.”
“I’m open.”
Now more than ever. Leanne liked feeling part of a…team wasn’t the right word. She was a team at work and at OMSAR. She could only do so much with friends. She wanted to be one half of a couple. Laughing, helping, sharing. With Christian—
Not him, she corrected. Someone else. A man who would enchant her and be enchanted by her, too. One who wasn’t afraid to commit his heart, not out of duty or sense of obligation, but out of love.
She sighed. “I wish it would happen soon.”
A child squealed from the living room.
Hannah reached for the matches. “It will happen when the time’s right. You’re just going to have to be patient.”
“That’s never been a strong point of mine, but I’ll try.” Leanne stared at the birthday cake, somehow seeing it as three layers with pretty white roses and a bride and groom standing on top. “And hope it’s worth the wait.”
Christmas Eve arrived with a winter storm warning. Snow fell in the morning and continued into the evenin
g. A few A shift families braved the weather to share a ham dinner at the station with their loved ones. Leanne didn’t feel much like celebrating, but being surrounded by so much holiday cheer and joy made it easier to smile.
At ten o’clock that night, right in the middle of a classic Christmas movie, familiar tones sounded. “Rescue 1 and Engine 3 responding to woman in labor, Hamlet Heights, number five.”
Leanne jumped into her bunkers and boots. She slid into the medic truck’s passenger seat. She glanced at Tucker, her partner for this shift. “Two hours until the twenty-fifth. You think we’ll have a Christmas baby?”
Tucker pulled out of the station. Chains had been installed on the rig earlier in the day. “For the kid’s sake, I hope he comes before midnight.”
“Lots of people are born on Christmas.”
He concentrated on the road. Not easy driving with white-out conditions. “I’d bet most of them wished they’d been born another day.”
Getting up the hill to the Hamlet Heights development, eight huge custom-built lodges, wasn’t easy. The rig made it to the fifth house and stopped in what they hoped was the driveway, in front of two large double doors.
“Want the OB kit or do you want to see what we have first?” Tucker asked.
Leanne would rather transport, but with this weather it was best to be prepared. “Bring it in.”
One of the front doors opened. A man walked outside.
Tucker grabbed the kit. “Isn’t that Welton?”
Her stomach clenched. He was the last person she wanted to see.
“Glad you guys are here. My sister, Brianna, is in heavy labor. Thirty-nine weeks. She didn’t want to spoil Christmas Eve and thought she had more time since she was in labor for seventeen hours with her first. Her water broke and things are moving fast.” Christian spoke fast. Nerves. “I thought I was going to have to deliver the baby.”
Leanne followed him into the house. Vaulted ceilings gave the modern lodge an airy feel and allowed a twenty-foot Christmas tree to take center stage in the massive living room full of expensive furniture. She’d never seen so many presents in her entire life. “How far apart are the contractions?”
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