“Don’t worry about the key,” she whispered, her stricken eyes focused on the floor because she couldn’t look at her mother without bursting into tears. “I’ll get a locksmith to come and change the locks.”
“That isn’t necessary, dammit,” Annette retorted, getting to her feet and slamming her hands against the desk.
“Isn’t it? Well, that’s how you made me feel.”
“You weren’t even at the clubhouse! Why should it have bothered you if Jessie was watching your TV or not?”
“Because that space was mine. Nobody else’s,” she roared. “In this whole fucking clubhouse, where everything is communal, that was my space. I didn’t want to share it with anyone, and I don’t give a fuck if that makes me petty or selfish. It was mine. Just like her room is hers.” She held up a hand. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She shuddered, turned on her heel and strode out toward the exit of the administration block.
Her mother hollered at her to come back but she ignored her, not stopping until she was at the other end of the clubhouse near the Council chambers.
Council wasn’t in session today, nor would it be until tomorrow so this area would be quiet, she knew.
Opening the door, she sneaked in and went straight to the head of the table. This was her second spot. Her hidey hole.
No other Shifter would dare come here and sit at the Council table so she knew she was safe in her solitude for the meanwhile.
She didn’t even want to be around Chris at that moment. She just wanted to be alone.
Swinging back in her daddy’s chair, she wondered how the hell Annette had ever decided Ava didn’t need the things that every daughter needed.
Ava knew she was difficult at times. Obsessive when it came to tasks she set herself. But was she so hard to love?
What concerned her was the fact Chris might turn on her like Annette had. Would he start to think her weirdness was anything but cute, and would he use it against her?
She shuddered in terror at the thought, then swung the chair around to face the window behind her. She didn’t look out though. Instead she covered her face with her hands and wept.
She felt like the relationship she could have had with her mother had died a death a long time ago. They lived a long time, mind, so nothing was truly irreparable, but Annette was so ungiving. So unfeeling at times that Ava didn’t know if she even wanted to try.
Though she cried, it didn’t block out the sound of the door opening. She swiftly wiped her eyes then swung the chair around.
Expecting to see Chris, she was surprised her father was there, and he didn’t look mad at seeing her in his chair. If anything, he looked hurt at the sight of her tears.
Without a word, he took Kiko’s seat—he sat at Mars’ right side like any good right hand man would. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, and murmured, “She meant well.”
“For Jessie,” she repeated bitterly.
“Who’s like a younger sister to you,” Mars cautioned, making Ava gasp at him.
“Are you insane? I can’t stand her. Just because you and her father are best buddies and we’re the only female cubs in the Clan, doesn’t mean we get on like a house on fire. We’ve never been close and we never will be.”
“That hurts me to hear that,” Mars admitted on a sigh.
“Why? Do you like everyone in the Clan?” she retorted, a command he speak the truth in her voice. “I know you don’t so don’t even think you can lie to me.”
“Your generation grew up together. The Clan is a motley crew of people gathering together, seeking a haven. The cubs are the first born into this Clan and that makes it more like a family.”
“Family doesn’t have to like one another, Dad,” she retorted. “Family can hate each other. But, family sticks up for one another. I can’t stand Jessie,” she admitted easily, and felt no guilt about it. “But I love her mom and dad. And, I’m helping her mate because she’s family. Not because I like her, not even because I don’t like her, but because my priorities are in order.”
Mars winced. “I guess I should be proud of that.”
“You think? And this is so much more than mother will have whined at you. She let her into my room. The one place in this fucking house that’s mine. Where I can have privacy. And she invaded that, dammit.” Ava shook her head, feeling petty and mean but still finding it hard to understand how deep this breach hit and wounded. “Before Chris Claimed me, I wondered how I could spend another night here.” When her father’s eyes widened, she nodded. “Yeah. That’s how much this is getting to me.” She sucked in a breath. “I thought if I talked to her, tried to understand, it would go away, but she’s so unapologetic. It just makes me want to leave all the more.”
“No!” Mars bleated, horror in his eyes. “She never meant to make you feel that way.”
“Neither of you ever do,” she retorted, shaking her head sadly. “But you persist on it.”
“I’ll get the key back, and I’ll command her to give you space.”
“That’s impossible. She’s incapable of doing that.”
“You’re mated now. Things have changed. Even your mother has to see that.” He sucked in a breath. “I’m going to tell you something you can’t tell her I shared with you.”
Ava shook her head. “Nothing is going to make this go away, Dad.”
He held up a hand. “Bear with me. Please.”
And it was only the pleading note to his tone that stopped her from protesting further. She sighed, then nodded. “Go on.”
“You know your mom was a war reporter, right?”
“Of course. I’ve read all her articles.”
His lips twitched. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” he asked rhetorically. “But, anyway, what you don’t know, what no one really knows is she had PTSD when I first met her. Bad. Very bad. She was a bit like you. Reclusive. And she had injuries, too.”
As Ava had never known this, she stilled in her seat, her attention fully focused on her father. “She did?”
“Yeah. We kept it quiet. Things were rough when we first got together. The MC was wilder, and the situation was rocky thanks to that bastard Martínez and the Prez before me.” He grunted his irritation. “Truth is, the pair of us have always been closed mouthed anyway so keeping it quiet wasn’t hard.” He shrugged. “She got pregnant pretty soon after we were mated; no one knew. Then, when she lost the baby, she went a little deeper inside herself. Only I could get to her, and she threw herself into projects for the Clan. When Pip came along, told us she was pregnant, we were both astonished because I’d been using protection to stop it from happening again. The miscarriage hit her hard, and I didn’t want to put her through that again. Pip’s interference helped though. We had you. We tried again. Lost three more cubs in the process; no amount of help from Pip made them survive and to this day, she’s the only one who knew about the other cubs until now.”
Ava’s mouth popped open. “You lost four cubs?”
Sadness glimmered in his eyes. His tears hurt her. Her daddy was a pain in her ass most of the time, but he was the biggest and baddest Shifter in the Clan and she loved him that way. He’d always made her feel safe. She’d never felt threatened with him around, even if she’d wanted to throttle him sometimes.
Seeing his tears, his hurt, wounded her deeply. She reached forward and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry, Dad.”
“It’s okay. I’ve grieved, and I’ll never stop grieving, but I’ve moved on. We both have. But you have to understand… your mother and the PTSD... it’s under control, but it still affects her. And you’re her only cub. Everything is focused on you.
“Now, I’m not saying that’s fair, because I know it isn’t. I even know that I do it to you too, which is doubly unfair. It’s not something we do intentionally. And it’s not something we do to cause you hurt or suffering. We can’t help it. Not that that excuses us, but you understand, right?”
She frowned at him a little
. “I guess.”
He firmed his jaw. “Your mom has taken all the cubs under her wing as is her right as she’s First Lady, but because they’re her family too.”
Ava shook her head. “You’re not going to make me forgive her for letting Jessie into my room, Dad.”
“I’m not trying to, sweetheart. I’m trying to explain something to you. If you leave, it will hurt her in way you can never imagine. And do you know what? You’ll never tell. She’ll look like she doesn’t give a damn that you’re going, but inside, it will kill her. And at night, when we’re alone in bed, she’ll cry in my arms. Why? Because she knows it’s her fault.”
His admission had Ava freezing. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Then don’t leave,” he told her softly.
“It isn’t fair to put that on me,” she whispered, ducking her head.
“No, I know it isn’t. But she’s your mother and even though you might not believe it, she loves you very much. She just can’t show you how much.”
Ava licked her lips. “That’s not fair,” she cried.
“I know it isn’t.” Mars sighed. “Do you know how we communicate?”
She shook her head. “How?”
“Your mother’s talent after we bonded was to talk telepathically.” When her eyes widened at that, he smirked. “I was never sure if you knew. You always observed far more than most, but I guess with us, you just felt like it was the fact parents always seem to know everything before it happens anyway.”
“You really can talk to each other without speaking?”
He nodded, then tapped his forehead. “She’s talking to me now.”
“She is?” Ava breathed. “What’s she saying?”
“That she hurt you, that she did something stupid.”
“Why didn’t she just say that to me?” Ava wailed. “Why present everything I say like I’m in the wrong and she’s right?”
“Because that’s just how she is.” He sighed. “She’s a pain in my ass, but I love her. We get through these things because of this talent we have which means I find out shit whether she wants me to know or not. It helps me help her. You don’t have that. So you’ll never be close because she won’t open up to you, to anyone, the way she does with me.”
“So what’s the point?”
He shrugged. “There is no point. You stay here and she’ll still drive you insane, but maybe, with time, she’ll mellow. You won’t know if you’re in Michigan, will you? Is that what you want?”
She pursed her lips. “Both of you are incapable of giving me space or privacy,” she retorted. “I’m mated now. I need that more than I’ve ever needed it.”
“And we’ll adjust. Adapt.” He sighed. “Anyway, we both know you’re the next Prez of this place. You need to be around to see it expand and monitor it. ” He shot her a look. “Don’t fib and tell me you’re not aware of that either.”
She grimaced. “I wasn’t going to lie.”
“Maybe not. Probably just evade. Either way, don’t. There’s no need. I felt it the other day. Shifting changed you.”
“I did more than shift,” she retorted. “I killed, Dad. If that didn’t change me, I think I’d be pretty fucked up.”
He grunted. “Your She Bear killed. Not you. There is a huge difference, and even though you’re inexperienced, we both know you’re not stupid enough to mistake the difference.”
“It doesn’t matter. I still feel like hell for doing what I did.”
“And that’s not a bad thing. Regardless, it showed me a side of you I hadn’t seen before. You’re damn strong.”
“The She Bear is.” She bit her lip.
“The woman is too. She’s just very young. But you won’t be young forever. And I won’t be here forever, either. Someone has to take over this place. Keep it on the straight and narrow, and who better than the one person who’s made that possible?”
“We all did it,” she protested.
“Yeah, I know, but you’re working on the accounts the way you have... I don’t pretend to know what you’ve done—”
“You wouldn’t have to pretend if you read the memos I send you. I tell you everything, in great detail, about what I do.”
“I don’t have to read it though because I trust you and your judgment implicitly.” He shrugged. “Take last week. Your saying that you’d invested in a Senator’s election campaign... I’d never think to do that. I’m not a businessman in that sense.”
“Your strengths lie in other directions,” she countered, not liking hearing him downplay his own talents. “You keep the men together, in one piece, and without them killing each other. Under you, the Clan has expanded three fold, and we have more brothers than ever before. Each one with a job and money in his pocket. That doesn’t even take into account the families who have bread on the table because of you.”
The side of his mouth kicked up in a smile. “It’s nice to hear you defend your old man like this. It seems like you spend most of your time disliking me.”
“I do,” she told him candidly. “You drive me insane. But now I’m mated, you can’t have as much control over me as you once did. I think we’ll get on great now that’s the case.”
He huffed. “Talk about giving backhanded compliments.”
She laughed, the first genuine chuckle she’d cracked all morning. “You know me, Dad, honest to the last. But anyway, I do know what you mean. I felt it too the other day.”
He nodded. “When the time comes, when I’m ready to step down and you’re ready to step up, we’ll work something out.”
“The men will only accept me if I Challenge you,” she told him grimly.
“Like I said, we’ll work things out. I think, when the time came, your She Bear could probably take me if Kiko was right about the carnage you created the other week. But I’d prefer to retire than be pushed off this mortal coil.”
She snorted. “You piss me off, Dad, but I have no desire to off you.”
“That’s good to know,” he teased. Then, sighing, he scratched his temple. “Can I tell your mother you’re not going anywhere? I don’t know what you said or if someone else said anything to her, but she thinks you’re packing and leaving.”
Ava blinked at him. “But she hasn’t left the desk?”
“No, she’s throwing her panic at me and probably looks as serene as hell behind her desk. She’s like a duck. Looks calm as hell on the surface, busy as shit underneath as she tries to paddle out of the whirlpool she’s made for herself.”
“I want a new key,” Ava demanded. “Hell, keys and new locks.”
“That can be done by the end of the day,” Mars granted easily.
She nodded, narrowing her eyes at him as she said, “And I make no promises about what happens when I’m with cub.” She felt certain she was pregnant now, but it was early days still. “We might move to the estate. There’s not enough room for us and a baby in my room. Certainly not enough when it grows into a toddler.”
Mars chuckled. “’It’ grows...” He shook his head, chuckling harder. “I’d like to see you be a mom, Ava. Just for the giggles.”
She rolled her eyes. “Very supportive, Dad.”
He winked at her, and did his whole silent communion thing with her mom. As she watched him, saw his eyes blank as he conversed inwardly rather than vocally, she wondered why she’d never seen this before.
It seemed incredible to her that she hadn’t noticed, but at the same time, it didn’t change much. Her father’s revelations didn’t change all that much either.
It made her want to deal with her mother with patience, but that worked both ways.
Maybe he was right. Maybe her being mated would change everything.
Today was her first day back at the clubhouse after spending a week at the hotel in Houston.
She needed to see how things would change now before she came to any drastic decisions.
Ava had always had a short fuse where her parents were concerned. Not alway
s fair, not even rational at some point, but she needed to figure out a way to temper that.
Chris had always been scared she was too immature to be mated.
The last thing she wanted was to confirm that by constantly bickering with her parents like a moody teen.
It was hard to relax in the communal living room. Hard because she’d never really sat in here. Had always escaped to her room the minute she could.
Chris’s arm was a heavy weight on her shoulder, and it pinned her in place. She felt uncomfortable here, discomforted. He was laughing and joking with some of the prospects who had kicked up their heels on the coffee table and were sitting back, shooting the shit over a few bottles of the MC’s brew.
She wasn’t listening. Her mind was turned inward on her to do list. It helped ease her social anxiety and enabled her to relax into her mate’s hold.
Jarvis had handed her some information on Martínez that morning; information she’d read and processed earlier. Figuring out how to use that against him, and how to manipulate the Senator into doing what she wanted would take some serious strategizing. And as she was bored shitless talking about yesterday’s game, she was quite content to play a different kind of game—mental chess. That is until Jessie appeared; not stopping until she’d stormed her way through the common room and had planted herself right in front of Ava.
Only trouble was, Ava was so focused, she didn’t even spot the other woman until the screams penetrated the shield she’d set up around herself to quieten the noise.
“...you’re just sitting here while Sammy’s being beaten up and raped, dammit. How could you? How can you live with yourself?”
“Jessie! That’s enough,” Chris growled, bristling at her side.
Only his bristling stirred her. Jessie’s screams had just been an irritating buzz, like a wasp flying over her dinner plate.
She jerked back to reality with a bang when Jessie’s mouth popped open, ready to screech again.
“I’d watch your mouth, Jessie, before I decide neither you, Spyder, nor Sammy deserve any help at all.”
Her mouth popped closed. “You wouldn’t,” she sobbed.
Ava’s tone was grim, “I would.” She lied, but the spoilt brat didn’t have to know that. She got to her feet and faced the girl, able to move now Chris had pulled his arm away from her shoulder. The distance between her and Jessie was uncomfortably close but she used it to her advantage.
CHRIS Page 15
