by Brooke Page
Breaking the silence, Tyler asked me if I wanted a drink. I shook my head. I needed to keep a clear head around this man, if anything to protect myself from taking it too far. My chances were already slim. He had a hold on me like no other man ever had, and we have only barely kissed.
“Are you cold? I’ll turn the fireplace on,” he said, rushing down the stairs to flip the switch to the immaculate brick gas fireplace. I slowly walked down the steps towards him, trying not to look like I was about to jump out of my own skin.
He walked over to me. “I promise I didn’t just bring you here to get you in my bed. Well…” he shook his head to the side and grinned, “not for the reason you are thinking.” I raised my eyebrow at him. He said he wanted to try something, but what? He took my bag and handed it to me. “Why don’t you go change into comfy clothes, I’m assuming you brought some PJs?”
I nodded my head and grabbed the bag. “The bathroom is over there. I’m going to go change as well,” he said, pulling his tie off and un-tucking his shirt heading upstairs. I couldn’t keep my eyes from traveling down his body and watching his hands. I bit my lip then shook my head, trying to keep the fog known as Tyler Conklin from taking over.
I went into the bathroom and set my bag on the counter. What was I doing here? How am I going to not sleep with him? He was too desirable, and it had been a very long time since I had been in bed with someone intimately. Well… being with someone while sober. I put on my cozy pink shorts and my Tiger’s T-shirt. I smiled as I pulled my hair from the shirt. He was going to give me a hard time about it. I found it amusing. Maybe he would come down with a Cubs T-shirt on. The thought made me smile. I pictured him wearing it the other day and how his muscles showed through. I shook my head again.
Stop thinking about that!
I looked at my face in the mirror. My makeup was worn down, but I didn’t really care. I liked it when it was faded, it wasn’t as intense. And for some reason tonight felt like he wanted to get to know me, so maybe I shouldn’t hide behind my mascara. Taking another deep breath, I walked out the door into the main room. Tyler was standing in front of the fireplace wearing gym shorts and a plain white T-shirt. I walked up next to him and stared at the fire. The burning embers made me feel relaxed. He looked over at me, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips.
“Thank you for coming tonight,” he murmured into my knuckles. The warmth of his breath gave me tingles.
“You said you wanted to try something?” I asked in an unsure voice.
His face became serious, almost scared. He pulled me over to his couch. It was a big sectional covered in creams and tans. It was very wide, so wide the two of us could lie down next to each other. We both sat down on the edge. Still holding my hand, he leaned towards me to face me.
“Where can I touch you?” his voice unsure.
I gave him a blank look. “What do you mean?”
He sighed, “Let’s just say, my last relationship, I wasn’t allowed to wander.”
I was still confused. He noticed.
“She would only let me touch her in very certain places, and if I strayed, I would get slapped, and not in a playful way.” He was serious. What kind of relationship did he have?
“I thought you didn’t have relationships?”
His mouth went crooked. “It was the closest to a relationship I have had. But I don’t want to get into it.”
His voice deepened as he asked me again, “Where can I touch you?”
I stared at him, “I don’t know, no one has ever asked me that before.”
He rolled his eyes, “Okay, how about, where can I not touch you?”
I bit my lip. Stop letting your mind wander, Becca!
“How about… you pretend I am wearing a bikini, and you can only go where I wouldn’t be covered.” That seemed fair enough and safe enough to.
He nodded his head and stood up. “Want to watch a movie? I have a hankering for popcorn.”
What? That came from left field. I giggled in my head at my own private comment. It was the perfect comment for my baseball player. Not that he was mine. My Ty… that sounded nice.
“Um, yeah sure. Let me help you.” I followed him into the kitchen.
“There is some bottled water and Gatorade in the fridge if you’re thirsty. I just got the new Batman movie; I thought we could watch that?” he asked as he put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. I reached into the fridge to grab water.
“I’m not going to lie to you, I saw the second one and it scared the shit out of me,” I said leaning against the counter. He smiled as he grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge.
“We don’t have to watch it. I think I have the Disney channel,” he teased.
“Ha-ha, I will probably fall asleep anyway,” I teased back.
“Oh, no. I’m going to make you watch.” The glimmer in his eyes made me smile even more.
The popcorn was done popping and he threw it into a large bowl. “I have this butter stuff, do you want any on it?” he asked holding up the butter substitute.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.” I wasn’t planning on eating any. It was after 10:00pm. He looked at me as though he was going to say something, but then went to sit on the couch. He plopped back into the massive cushions and crossed his feet out onto the ottoman. The bowl of popcorn was on his lap and his other arm was spread across the top cushion next to him. He reached for one of the five remotes on the end table next to him.
I tentatively sat down next to him, crossing my legs Indian style on the big, plush sectional. I really wanted to snuggle up next to him, but I didn’t have the liquid courage flowing through me. He knew the boundaries, so I shouldn’t worry about his hands wandering, although part of me was disappointed in the realization of where things would not be led to.
He turned on the TV and then grabbed another remote.
“Sure you want to watch this? I can see you’re already at the edge of your seat. You can come and sit closer to me if you want,” he smirked.
I looked back at his smug expression and rolled my eyes. In one quick movement he wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me back to him. I squealed at his sudden movement. Once I was firmly placed next to him, I re situated so I was cozily up against his side with my head on his shoulder. I was so comfy, I could fall asleep. Surprisingly he didn’t flinch.
I bravely stretched my arm across his stomach just above where he had the popcorn bowl. His stomach muscles tensed, and I started to retreat my arm back to my side. He quickly grabbed my wrist and set it back to where it was. Moving the popcorn bucket to the end table he whispered into my hair, “It's fine, you can keep it there.” I flexed my hand over his stomach. It was nice and taut. I was curious to feel his skin, maybe I would work up the courage to reach under his shirt.
Tyler started the movie and rested his other arm on the back of the couch. I was trying to focus on the movie, but the gentle rise and fall of his chest was more fascinating to me. It was almost like a lullaby. I traced circles along his stomach and his chest rose a little faster. It made me smile. Simple touches had an effect on him, I wonder why? It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Maybe since the woman he was with before didn’t like to be touched meant she never touched him either? I would have to dig into this a lot deeper.
“Can we re situate?” he asked, looking down at me.
I quickly stood up, worried I had gone too far. “Of course,” I said a little too quickly. He laid down the long way on the couch. I raised my eyebrow at him, “Do you want me to sit on the floor?”
He shook his head and patted the small area between the back of the cushions and him. I gulped and crawled over him into the small space, resting my head back on his shoulder. This was more comfortable, almost too comfortable. He pulled my hand up so it was on top of his chest. I could feel his pecks. It took everything in me not to trace them with my fingers. Once I was nestled into my spot next to him, he cautiously wrapped his other arm around my side and was stroking his fingers up
and down from my hip to my shoulder. He let out a sigh of contentment and turned his head back towards the TV.
There was no way I would be able to focus on the movie. His body laying this close to me was too much of a distraction. I moved my hands up and down his chest, from his pecks to his abdomen.
“That feels so nice,” he sighed, tilting his head next to mine. My nose was against his neck. I wanted to run my tongue along it. My demands for nothing happening between us tonight were slowly drifting away, and I knew I was going to make things a lot more difficult with what I was about to do. I gently brushed my lips on his neck. He stiffened, but relaxed quickly. With my lips still on his neck, I started to gently suck and trail little kisses in a small circle. The pace of his breathing became quicker as he gripped my hip bone. Once I moved my mouth to his jaw he gasped and pulled me swiftly on top of him. The sudden movement threw me off. I was practically straddling him, one leg between his while the other was pinned between the side of the couch and his body. He started to kiss me frantically, one hand pressing on my lower back and the other on the nape of my neck. I let out a groan as he sucked on my bottom lip. My hands were pinned to his chest, feeling his erratic breathing. I wanted his shirt off so bad; I had to feel his skin. I attempted to move my hand down to lift his shirt up. He must have read my mind. Not taking his lips from mine, he sat up on his elbow and started tugging at his shirt, throwing it over his head. I rotated so I was on top of him more so he could take the shirt out of his other arm. Once his shirt was completely off, I tried to nestle back on the side of him so I could feel his skin with my hands. He was so well defined and smooth. I moved my hand lower and let my fingertips wander just under the elastic on his shorts. His breathing hitched as he kissed me harder, his hands in my hair holding my face in place. I wanted him to take my shirt off desperately. His kisses became less demanding and more sweet and sensual. Grabbing my hand that was playing with the elastic on his shorts, he brought it up to his face and started to gently kiss my fingertips. I was trying to control my breathing. Why was he stopping?
I searched his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking.
“Do you want to go upstairs?” he whispered through my fingertips. I traced my tongue along my bottom lip and bit down on it. Did I want to go to his bedroom? There would be no way I would be able to stop if I did.
Of course you do! You have been dreaming about this since you laid your greedy eyes on him!
I nodded my head yes, not taking my eyes from his. I slid off of him and stood next to the couch, waiting for him to lead the way. My eyes watched his stomach as he stood up. Wow. His stomach was just as nice to look at as it was to touch.
He smirked at me, noticing my eyes following the lines along his stomach.
“Come on, let me show you to my room,” he flirted, taking my hand and leading me up the spiral staircase.
Once at the top of the staircase, there was a small loft with a few drawing tables and plans spread out all over, and the ceiling had large windows. The entry way to his bedroom was very large, for a minute I thought there wasn’t even a door, but then I noticed it had a sliding wall that could be closed if need be. The back wall of his room was layered in light bricks, the same kind as the fireplace, and the rest of the walls were painted a dull blue. His bed was massive with all kinds of creams and covered in throw pillows. The furniture was dark brown and very contemporary.
“Do you trust me?” Tyler asked, stopping and standing in front of me. He kissed my lips once, his eyes smoldering into mine.
“Yes,” my voice squeaked.
“Will you take your shirt and shorts off?” He sounded so nervous, but quickly became amused. “I want to explore your body as you were exploring mine.”
I gulped, not able to take my eyes from him. His hands were at the bottom of my shirt, his eyes asking for permission. I nodded, giving him the go ahead to take it off. I took a step closer to him as he pulled it over my head. The lighting was dim, but I didn’t want him to get a glimpse of my stretch marks. There were only a few, but I was still embarrassed by them.
His hands started to trail across my back. His fingertips were surprisingly smooth. The gentleness of his caressing gave me goose bumps. He took a deep breath in, and then let his hands go to my shorts, carefully not to cop a feel while letting them fall to my ankles. I was so glad I wore my hot pink matching lace undies and bra.
He pulled back the comforter and took both of my hands, pulling me to the bed. I laid down on the sheets, trying to cover my stomach with my hands. He swiftly pulled off his shorts to reveal black Under Armour boxer briefs and crawled next to me. The bedroom was dark, the only light came seeping from the downstairs kitchen above the sink causing a slight glow to his beautiful face. I was okay with the minimal light. He might be okay with me staring at his body, but I was certainly not comfortable enough to let his smoldering eyes take me in.
He gently kissed me and then rolled me so I was lying on my stomach. I felt his hands run up my back, hover over my bra strap then up to my neck. He pulled my hair to the side and ran his fingertips along my shoulders, moving carefully over my bra strap. His touch was so intense and so intimate. I could hear him trying to control his breath. Nice big deep breaths that seemed to get deeper every time his hand got to the top of my panty line. I could feel the energy as he moved over my behind down the lining of my underwear, not letting his hand make contact with the thin fabric that was separating our skin. They were boy shorts, so my cheeks were hanging out. I sucked in a breath when his hand came back down to my skin. That little spot where my backside met my thigh was sensitive, causing more goose bumps to travel up my spine.
“Your skin is so smooth,” he breathed, placing feather light kisses on my upper back. His hands kept traveling in the same spot, from my neck, stopping at the strap of my bra to lift his hand and then back down my spine, stopping at my panties, and picking back up again at the edge of my behind down the back of my thighs.
I wanted his hands to swoop completely down my whole back, so once he started back upwards I shakily said, “You can unstrap it if you want to.”
His fingers stopped. I peeked open my eyes to look at him. He looked like he was fighting something internally. “I thought these were your touch boundaries? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” I leaned up on my elbows and placed a kiss on his lips. It was meant to be gentle, but became deeper. Tyler snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me on top of him. His arms were wrapped around me tight as he invaded my mouth. His thumbs were brushing against the strap, as though he were contemplating what to do.
“Please,” I begged against his lips. Was I really begging him for this? Yes, I was. I wanted him desperately.
He fumbled with the clasp and it broke free. He rubbed his hands up and down my back numerous times in a slow and sensual rhythm. It felt amazing to have his strong hands stroking my bare skin. I leaned up just enough to allow my bra to come off my arms and slide off, quickly pressing my chest back to his. He let out a loud groan and squeezed me even tighter. The friction between our undergarments was driving me mad, causing me to rock my hips into him.
Suddenly, Tyler sat up, keeping his lips to mine and holding my head firmly in place with his hands. His kisses slowed and he began to speak, “Becca, this isn’t why I wanted you to come here tonight. This isn’t what tonight was supposed to be about.” His voice shuddered when he talked.
I quickly froze, pulling slightly away, wrapping my hands around my chest. Did he not want me? Oh my God, all of this was practically my idea. Was I throwing myself at him? I said I would never do that again!
He sensed my insecurity and pulled me back to him. “I don’t want you to think this is all I want from you. Having sex with you was not my intention for the evening. I just wanted to be close to you. To touch you…” His voice trailed as he placed a tender kiss on my lips. He was totally honest. He wanted to try something he had never tried, and it was to let his hands caress my sk
in. It was very romantic, but was I being the one who was instigating this?
“So, you don’t want this?” I croaked, feeling ashamed.
His eyes grew wide with his grin, “Oh, baby doll, you know I want this.”
He was right. I could feel he wanted me. I could feel all of him.
I slowly moved my arms from my chest and brought my hands to his cheeks, massaging them with my thumbs. He relaxed his face in my hands closing his eyes. I moved my hands down to his chest, under his arms and across to his back. He took a deep breath keeping his mouth slightly opened. Touching was something he wasn’t used to, which must be why he is so sensitive to it. That was what he wanted to try tonight, us exploring each other’s bodies with our hands.
“So this is what you’re not used to?” I gently asked, circling my fingertips on his defined shoulder blades.
He opened his eyes and gazed at me. “One of them, yes.” He pulled my hands from his back and brought them to his lips. “You’d be amazed the effect these have on me,” he said, grazing his lips over my fingers.
His expression was so somber and soft. It made my heart melt. I was seriously falling for this secretive man.
“I want to make love to you tonight. But only if you say yes.” His eyes were intensely soft as he kept giving my hands soft kisses.
How could I say no to him? I trusted that he wasn’t going to use me; maybe we would be able to have a normal relationship? Pushing any what ifs out of my head, I leaned in to kiss him. He let go of my hands and rolled so he was on top of me. I ran my hands up his chest, basking in the feeling of his dampening skin. He moaned into my throat, his tongue tracing down to my collarbone. He was unraveling with every sensual touch I gave him. He moved down lower, leaving a trail of kisses between my breasts to my belly. I started to squirm; his mouth was getting closer to that sweet spot I was very shy about. His mouth finally reached the top of my panty line as I gasped from the warmth of his mouth. I quickly became embarrassed and pulled him up to my mouth, kissing him rapidly. I dug my nails down his back and slipped my hands under his boxer briefs. He growled into my mouth, yanking them off of his body. There was only one very small piece of clothing left between us. He lay on his side next to me, bringing his hand down to remove the last garment from my body. He never took his eyes off of mine as I arched my back to help him remove it. Throwing the pink lace to the side of the bed, he leaned over and reached into the drawer of his night stand. I knew what he was getting, a good thing considering I hadn’t been on the pill since my irresponsibleness took place in Florida.
