by Brooke Page
Chapter 21
We lay on our sides on top of the fuzzy cream blanket for what felt like hours. My bare back was no longer damp with sweat but warmed by the fire. Tyler reached over to grab a couple of pillows for us to put under our heads to help with the discomfort of the floor, but I was anything but uncomfortable. I was relaxed and content and madly in love.
Tyler had one hand under his pillow while the other was drawing circles on my hip bone. I was snuggled up to his athletic body, pressing my hands to his chest. Our faces were far enough away I could study his features. His scruffy beard and rumpled dark brown hair made him appear rugged instead of dapper. His chiseled jaw was relaxed and his lips just barely separated. His eyebrows were calm, and for once he didn’t have any creases in his forehead from scowling. His eyes were pools of blues and greens, soft and hazy from our intimacy. He was utterly content and extremely beautiful.
“Did I satisfy your request?” Tyler gently asked, moving his hand from my hip to my cheek.
I nodded my head, trying to suppress my grin.
“So how long have you been on birth control?” he asked with the same gentleness as his previous question.
I blushed. Ever since Chicago when I had the minor lapse of judgment, which thank God Tyler had a good head on his shoulders to fight against me long enough to put a condom on, I went to the doctor’s to get the pill. I took it religiously every morning.
“Since after we went to Chicago together. Are you mad I didn’t tell you?” I asked biting my lip.
He shook his head no. “That was a first for me,” he murmured.
“You have always used a condom? Margo was never on birth control?” I said confused. Considering he said they were sporadic, you would think some of the time condoms wouldn’t be totally accessible.
He shook his head again. “I wasn’t the only one she was sleeping with. I wasn’t about to chance anything, even if she was on the pill. I’m glad my first time without a condom was with you,” he murmured against my lips. I kissed him back. He really must have trusted me. A pang of guilt washed through me, wishing I could have shared my first everything with him and wishing I didn’t have so many notches on my bedpost. Did I have more partners than he had? The thought made my stomach turn.
“I guess you will have to donate that massive bowl of condoms to the health clinic,” I said pulling my head back so I could look at him.
He laughed. “I bought those after the first night we were together.”
“Had high hopes, did you?” I teased.
He moved his hand to my back and pulled me in for another kiss then rubbed his nose against mine. “I just wanted you to feel safe.”
“I’ve never felt safer than when I am with you,” I whispered.
The light from the fire danced in his eyes as he gazed at me. He ran his hand through my hair as I kept my eyes on him. Now would be the perfect time to tell him how I felt. To tell him I wanted a future together, to tell him I was falling in love with him. That you are in love with him.
We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, cozy by the fire, tangled together. I dozed after a while and was awakened to Tyler gently lifting me off the floor. Wrapped in the warm blanket, I snuggled close to his chest, taking in his scent.
He pulled the covers back and laid me in bed. I rolled until I felt his body and pressed my hand to his chest. “I didn’t want you to wake up with a back ache from sleeping on the floor. Go back to sleep baby. We both have to get up early tomorrow,” Tyler murmured.
I buried my head in his chest and sighed, hoping every night I could fall asleep feeling safe and loved, whether it was love he had for me or not.
~
I was on cloud nine as I walked in the cold to work from Jamie’s car and couldn’t stop reliving last night in my head. Tyler finally opening up to me in the hot tub, carrying me to the fire and making love to me…oh love…I was in love with Tyler Conklin. I giggled like a school girl at the thought of it. He had to of felt the same way; I could see it in his eyes. I wanted him to say it first because the last thing I wanted was for the words to slip and freak Tyler out.
I straightened my gray shift dress as I walked through the Conklin building door in my yellow heels. So they were a bit bright for the weather, but I didn’t care, they matched my mood. Cheery, happy, and in love.
Will greeted me with a friendly smile and asked how my Thanksgiving was. I must have been glowing like an idiot when I told him it was marvelous. He talked about how he went up north to his wife’s family with his boys and was happy to have spent quality time with them. Corey came up and joined us and filled us in on his trip to California to spend time with his brother.
Once we were caught up, we started to talk about our upcoming projects and established where we were at on our current ones and what our goals for the end of the year would be.
When we were done conferencing, I got to work on my priority list of projects. Corey walked by with a folder in his hands looking frazzled.
“I’m going to run this upstairs to Nathan then head to a meeting across town.”
“Do you want me to bring it up for you?” I asked, quickly standing up.
Corey’s face turned into a smile. “That would be great. I’m running behind,” he said, handing me the folder.
I took it gratefully and walked with him to the elevators. I couldn’t help the huge grin on my face. I had an excuse to stop and see Tyler. Hopefully I would catch him before he left for Ludington.
I stopped at Nathan’s office with the folder first and handed it to Jessica. She was busy on the phone and took the folder giving me a smile as though she knew it would be coming. I smiled back and walked down to Tyler’s office.
The door was cracked open and as I started to approach it I heard voices.
“Are you going to be able to handle the financing for this new account? You have seemed distracted lately. Your brother was in an uproar the other day because he didn’t think you understood the seriousness of this account.” It was RJ’s voice. He sounded stern as though he were talking to a small child.
I heard Tyler’s voice next. “RJ, I have been bending over backwards with this account. It is going to take time to work with numbers that both satisfy Enterprise and us. I can’t give them an off estimate, and I sure as hell can’t trick them into it. She is on the fence still. I need to give her accurate information. I have talked to her nearly every day. I’m going to meet with her today.” His voice was annoyed.
“Alright, I believe you. Make sure you nail this account.” I heard a phone chirp then a soft chuckle from RJ. “Well… seems I will be having plans this evening.” RJ said cockily.
I heard Tyler huff. “Clearly not with my mother.”
RJ laughed. “Your mother makes plans with other people just like I do, son. What about you? You headed out awfully early this weekend. Were you coming back to see someone?” he coaxed.
I shouldn’t be here listening to this, but my feet were stuck to the floor.
“I told you, I have been busy with this account,” Tyler said in a low tone.
I could picture RJ’s face, his smirk being devilish as he was embarking on a chance to rile Tyler.
“I have been thinking about taking Becca Stine from the commercial architecture department out. She seems to have a lot to offer,” RJ’s voice was flirtatious. A lump formed in my throat. What was he doing? And worse, what was Tyler’s reaction going to be?
I heard a chair move as though someone sat down then a clinking of ice hitting a glass. “She isn’t your type, RJ,” Tyler’s voice was menacingly low.
“Oh, Tyler, you know women can’t resist my charm. Have you given it a shot yet?” He was luring him, trying to get a rise out of Tyler. Maybe Tyler would finally tell him the truth? Maybe he would tell his dad he was in love with me, oh… I would rush in and tackle him if he did.
I heard liquid being poured into a glass and then the sound of someone taking a seat. “I can understand if
she turned you down. She seems like a… challenge.”
More noises of liquid and ice escaped the small crack in the door.
“And if she wasn’t a challenge?” Tyler asked irritated.
The sound of leather was followed by a chuckle. “I only enjoy challenges, Tyler.”
The room went quiet, and I covered my mouth with my hand, worried my breathing would be heard by the two men who were clearly having a stare down. Tyler more agitated than RJ.
“Well RJ, she is easy. I suggest you shoot for someone else.”
“You sound like you have given it a try already?”
More silence. More leather moved, as though RJ was leaning forward in his chair.
“Did you fuck her?” His voice was low and arrogant.
More silence then painful words spread through the air. “Yeah, I fuck her whenever I want. She is easy, the easiest lay I have ever had. I don’t even have to take her out. Like I told you, she isn’t your type.”
I held back a gasp as Tyler’s words burned my ears. Tears flowed down my cheeks before I could even get a hold on what I had just heard. Hearing enough I turned and headed for the stairwell instead of the elevator, afraid I would run into someone.
My chest was heaving so heavily I thought I might go into cardiac arrest. How could he say that about me? Giving into his father’s bait so quickly? Was he just a good actor and really only using me to get laid? A sob escaped my mouth as I nearly fainted to the stairs. I shuddered as I hugged my chest, trying to make up excuses for what Tyler said to be okay. But there wasn’t any acceptable excuse for him to talk about me like that, no matter what angle he was trying to achieve.
As quickly as my heart swelled for him, it shattered twice as fast. I was officially broken, and I couldn’t handle being in the same building as him. I didn’t want to talk to him or hear his voice, and I sure as hell didn’t want to receive his cold stare in front of our co-workers. I desperately tried to pull it together and started to walk down the flights of stairs taking deep breaths. Once I reached my floor, I snuck into the bathroom. My eyes were bloodshot and tears were streaming down my cheeks with mascara. I frantically threw water on my face and in my eyes, but nothing helped.
How could he say he fucked me whenever he wanted?
Well, I guess it was true, but by his own admission he said he always wanted the connection when we were together and never wanted it to be “just fucking.”
I made my way back to my desk, still attempting to compose myself, but the sting of Tyler’s words kept repeating in my head.
Yeah, I fuck her whenever I want. She is easy, the easiest lay I have ever had. I don’t even have to take her out.
“Hey Becca, can you start on these prints for me this afternoon?” Will said coming up to me while looking through a folder. He lifted his head to look at me as his eyes went wide. “Becca, are you okay?” he asked with concern.
I nodded my head yes, “I’m sorry, I just…” Think Becca! “I used new eye makeup today. I think I might be having a bad reaction to it or something,” I lied.
Will looked down at me with concern. “Maybe you should go to a doctor? Do you want me to take you? Or call a cab for you?”
I shook my head no. “Actually, would you mind if I took the rest of the day off? I’m sure my mother would be able to take me.”
“Of course, can I call her for you?”
“No, I will be fine, thanks for understanding, Will,” I said, standing up and gathering my things.
“Okay, call and let me know how you are doing tomorrow. If you need to take another day off let me know.” Will was so sincere, and I felt horrible for lying to him, but I couldn’t tell him the truth.
I headed to the elevator, and to my horror when it opened up, Tyler was staring at me. His blank stare quickly faded into worry when he saw my broken face. I rolled my eyes and started to walk towards the stairs. I couldn’t stand to look at him. I was a blubbering mess because of him.
Before I could reach the stair doors Tyler’s hand was on my arm. He took a swift look around then yanked me inside and hit a button on the elevator. Once the door closed he pulled me to him.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked with concern. I pushed away from him, causing his jaw to drop with confusion.
“Don’t touch me,” I choked, more tears escaping my eyes.
“Becca, what’s-”
“I’m done Tyler. Why don’t you go find someone else to fuck that you don’t have to buy dinner for,” I sobbed. I tried to sound angry and furious but only pain and sorrow escaped my mouth.
Tyler’s eyes went wide as he sucked in air. “Becca, baby I didn’t-”
“Just STOP!” I practically screamed at him. “Fuck you for using me, you arrogant asshole!”
He was stunned against the opposite side of the elevator. I had never raised my voice to him, and I had never cursed at him. I had never shown any anger at this level towards him; I don’t think I have ever showed anyone half as much anger. The elevator dinged at the basement floor before he could say anything else.
I darted out of the elevator feeling hurt and betrayed by the man I was determined to invest time in. I had hoped to spend the rest of my life with him.
And he didn’t follow me.
Chapter 22
I went home and sobbed for hours. I sobbed on my bed, I sobbed in the shower, I sobbed on the couch. Nothing had ever hurt so badly. Even walking in on my best friend screwing my boyfriend didn’t compare to this, and it was all because of the connection we made last night. I loved Tyler Conklin, but he didn’t love me. If you loved someone you wouldn’t be able to say those things about them, whether you meant it or not.
I left my phone in Jamie’s car, knowing Tyler would try and call and smooth things over just like he had after lying to his brother about walking on the pier, and how he lied about having a meeting just so he wouldn’t have to be seen with me at the office. The problem was I would forgive him, and we would remain a secret, and I wasn’t okay with that.
By 6:00pm I managed to stop my tears long enough to get in the car and go pick Jamie up from the airport. I needed her more than anything right now. Once I got in Jamie’s car I glanced at my phone. Sure enough, I had numerous calls and text messages from Tyler. I deleted the texts without looking at them and shut off my phone.
I greeted Jamie in the pick-up lane at the airport, and she instantly knew something was wrong. I just shook my head at her, and she understood. She would give me silence until we reached the condo.
Once we were inside Jamie wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, and I broke down again. I cried for damn near an hour with her until I could finally manage to speak about what had happened.
“He said that? Why would he say that? Why wouldn’t he just drop it?”
I just shrugged my shoulders while wiping my nose.
Jamie brought me to my bedroom and laid down next to me. “I think I will die alone. Maybe I should get a few cats.”
Jamie laughed, “No, you won’t die alone. You will always have me.”
I hugged her tighter. “Thanks Jay Rae, I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Ditto, Becca.”
~
I called in sick the next day, telling Will my “reaction to the new makeup” was still bad and needed another day of Benadryl. He understood and gave me well wishes. I kept my phone off and in the kitchen. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I didn’t want to succumb to Tyler’s constant calls.
A week went by and I managed to dodge Tyler at work. Every day he left a single rose somewhere around my office space to remind me of him. Every time I found one, I would throw it away and refuse to look at the note that was attached to it. I didn’t need to cave and crawl back to him. I was done being his dirty little secret.
I met my mother for lunch and somehow was able to avoid the topic of Tyler, until she started to talk about my father’s annual Christmas party for all of his business associates.
“Becca, we should start shopping for a dress for the Christmas ball this year. Your father has reserved the museum. It is going to be beautiful.”
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t have anyone to go with, and I wasn’t at all in the mood for a party. “I’m not sure if I am going to be able to go.”
“What are you talking about? Your father ran into Tyler the other day and said he was excited for it and that he wanted to take you instead of riding with us in the limo like we normally do.”
He said what?
I just politely smiled at my mother while my insides were reeling. How could he tell my dad that? I had been avoiding him and refusing his calls. For the first time in a week I wasn’t sad about Tyler, but I was downright mad. Furious even. I was going to approach him the second I got to work. I didn’t know if he was in the office, but I sure as hell was going to check, and I was going to give him a piece of my mind.
“We should go dress shopping, both you and Jamie. It would be fun.”
Dress shopping with my mother was never fun. Hearing her tell me it was okay that I didn’t wear a dress size as small as her and that I couldn’t wear certain styles because they didn’t fit my body structure made my ears bleed. I didn’t need to feel any shittier about myself than I already did.
“Yeah, we will see,” I said, feeling full and pushing my plate away from me.
~
Roger dropped me off at the Conklin building, and I waved goodbye to my mother. I marched into the building and stopped at the restroom. I straightened my black shift dress and white belt and un-did my pony tail, running my hands through my hair trying to make it sexy. I touched up my eyes and even put on the red lipstick I still hadn’t given back to Jamie and puckered my lips into the mirror.
I headed to the elevator with my head held high and went to the top floor. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot, trying to focus all of my rage on Tyler. He was bringing feelings out of me that I had never let out and normally would bottle up inside because I didn’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings. But I didn’t care with him. He had drawn the line with insinuating we were together to my father.
