by Patti Larsen
I made the suggestion to the others. This time, Dark Fate laughed.
“We have spent far too long with the entirety of the Universe in our minds,” he said. “Such cunning is delicious.”
Optimism, I love you.
Max and I left shortly after, promising to keep the Fates and Iepa up to speed as things moved along. My brain whirled with possibilities, so much I missed the fact when Max led me out of the veil again we were nowhere near my house in Wilding Springs. Instead, we touched down in the quiet, power filled statue chamber under the Stronghold. I turned to look up at him with a curious frown.
The drach leader looked out over the empty room, diamond eyes turning with multihued magic.
“I take it there’s a reason we’re here,” I said. My voice barely carried, the vastness of the space swallowing my words.
“There is,” he said, deep voice sad. “I have information I must divulge before we can go any further. Before you can decide, truly, to trust me in this matter.” Max paused, head down, hands clasped before him over his gray robe. A terrible fear lit inside me but I smothered it, refusing to jump to conclusions.
“As long as you’re not playing for another team,” I said, “we’re all good, Max.”
He shook his head. “It’s nothing like that,” he said, finally meeting my eyes. Tears glistened in his. “Far worse.”
Okay then.
“You have the right to know, Sydlynn Hayle, it was I who first cracked the Universe.”
I knew that already… no, wait. The drach—
I gasped. “You, as in personally, you?”
Max nodded, heavy, ponderous in his guilt. “I was young,” he said. “Impulsive. But there is no excuse for what I did.” The song of the drach rose in his voice as he went on, mournful, so sad I found myself crying in sympathy. “I pushed at sorcery, felt the potential in it, but refused to trust in Creator. My family begged me to relent, but I refused in my arrogance. It was I who triggered the division of magicks and, in doing so, it was I who signaled the end of Creator as we knew her and forced Fate into two paths. So many repercussions.” He looked off into the distance again. “The Dark Universe just one of them. I’ve catalogued so many over the centuries, Syd. Tracked the result of my actions in hurts and cracks so deep I fear I will never survive my regret.”
I thought I knew guilt. I had no freaking idea.
“Max,” I choked out, but he wasn’t done.
“So, you see,” he said, “this is all my fault. Your Liam. Gabriel. The Brotherhood. All of it, Syd. Had I done as I was told, had I believed in Creator and not my own self-important needs, the Universe would have developed as she intended, and things would have been far different.” He sighed deeply, one big hand running over his face. “I was left behind, my family choosing to sacrifice themselves to guard the pieces, leaving me to lead my people, as first drach. Not as a punishment, but as a hope I would grow and learn and become the drach they knew I could be.” He nodded slowly, as though to those he’d lost. “And I have striven to do so all the days of my life since.” He left me, crossing to Creator’s statue. One big hand opened and, as I joined him to watch, he let slip the small, silver ribbon that had been his brother to pool next to the silent thread of his mother.
“There was a time I believed in what I did,” Max said. “But now, I wonder if I am the right one for this particular task, Syd. I’ve failed Creator before, now twice my family again when I swore to protect them.” He looked up and into my eyes. “I am going to step down as leader of the drach. And I want you to choose my successor.”
***
Chapter Thirty One
No. Way. In. Hell.
“If you’re over your little pity party,” I snapped, “maybe you’d like to get back to work.”
Max’s hurt expression wasn’t helping his case any.
“Sydlynn—”
I cut him off with a firm punch to his shoulder. “I don’t want to hear about it,” I said. “We’ve come too far and been through too much together for you to quit on me now, you big lummox.” Max straightened slowly, turned to face me. “I need you, no matter what you think of yourself, no matter what you’ve done in the past. A long freaking time ago, if I might add that little bit of fact to this ridiculous conversation.” A frown creased his brow. “And, by the way, have you ever considered the fact maybe you were meant to crack magic wide open? Did Creator give you a hard time, dressing down, kick your butt when you did it?” He slowly shook his head. “No? Didn’t think so. Because, I assume if you’d crossed her you’d be a smear on the floor, Max, and not leader of the first race of creation.”
“If you’re trying to convince me I was fated to this path,” he said, “I’ve thought of that myself. But I can’t believe.”
“Why not?” I tossed my hands in the air. “Fate is tricky—both of them. You of all people know that.” I had no idea if I was getting through to him, but I had to. He was not abandoning me now. “Max,” I said, laying one hand on his massive arm, “what came before now, is. It’s done and gone and neither of us can change it. All we can do is our best going forward. Besides, you should know trying to ditch me just makes me mad and more determined to drag you along into this disaster with me.”
Max smiled. “Indeed,” he said. “I should.”
“Like it or not,” I said, “and I’ve had this conversation with myself, believe me, there’s no one else.” Max sighed softly as I went on. “No. One. Else. We’re it, flaws and lumps and warts and all.”
“I stand chastised for my old angst,” he said, a hint of humor in his voice. “Thank you for reminding me no matter how old I become, I am still an arrogant young drach at heart who thinks he knows what’s best.”
I hugged him hard, his arms slipping around me in return.
“Join the club,” I said.
We parted ways, him heading up into the main level of the Stronghold, me for Wilding Springs. We both needed rest before we could begin planning our trap for Belaisle and the other seekers of the pieces. I had a few ideas, but wanted to be as clearheaded as possible just in case this idea was actually full of crap and I just couldn’t see it.
The house was dark when I arrived at home, directly outside my room for once. I’d been hoping to catch Quaid unaware, to corner him and have that talk I wanted to have, but he wasn’t home. And, honestly, it was probably a good thing. As tired as I was, thinking I could plan a trap for my enemies was about as good an idea as trying to patch things up with my irritable husband.
I considered it a lucky break and sat down hard on the edge of the bed, yawning so wide my jaw cracked in response.
The house felt quiet, the kids still at Harvard. Sassafras and Shenka were in the kitchen, and I considered joining them. The bed beckoned, though, temptation powerful to just crash and sleep instead.
What a day.
The rush of sorcery in the back yard made my decision for me. I slipped down the stairs and out the door, into the cool grass. Piers waited for me, blond hair swinging in the soft, September evening breeze, eyes smiling as a tiny, sad grin pulled at his wide lips. I went right to him, hugged him, inhaling his scent and allowing his power and his body to support me a moment.
Wished it was Quaid.
That drove me back a half step, pushing my hair fallen loose from my ponytail behind my ears as I grinned up at my friend with matching sadness, illumination from the back door light making his gray eyes translucent.
“Tell me you have good news,” I said.
“Well, no one’s died, yet,” he said. Winced. “Sorry, poor taste, considering. No one but Yana.” I nodded as he went on. “Danilo’s war is hitting a snag. A snag named Femke.” I knew she’d get in his way. “So far, so civil, though I’m sure that will change when the wereking gets his fill of her kindness and diplomacy.”
“And you?” I crossed my arms over my chest, shivering a little in the wind though I wasn’t really cold. More a reaction to being over tired. “How are things at home?”
<
br /> “The Steam Union is a mess,” he said, in his blunt British way. “I won’t make any apologies for it. But I’ll do my best.” He didn’t have to tell me he was worried. And why. I could see it all over his face. Had just heard the same thing from another dear friend of mine. Wasn’t taking it from Piers, either.
“You’re all they’ve got,” I said, thinking of Max. “You’re the only man for the job. Remember that.” I laughed, couldn’t help it. “I’ve been wondering, you know, why we’re all so testy, so cranky. Yes, the attack, okay, got it. But, seriously. We love each other.” Sunny, Mom, Quaid, Shenka, Max… Piers and his mother. “I’m finally understanding, it’s not about what happened, is it?”
Piers slowly shook his head. “It’s about all of us being afraid it’s our fault,” he said. “And that we’re going to screw it up again so badly, let each other down, we can’t stand it.”
I loved epiphanies in my back yard with dear friends to help me work things out.
We smiled gently at each other for a long moment before I broke the silence.
“How’s Zoe?” The moment the words left my mouth, his face fell.
“She’s gone, Syd.” His voice shook, caught.
“Let me guess,” I said, grasping his hand in clear understanding, excitement, even. “She had a vision.”
His eyes widened, sadness fading. “She found the fire again,” he said. “How did you know?”
“Trust me,” I said, “she’ll be back. But if she’s like another pair of friends of mine, she’s trying very hard to figure out what’s going on.” I really needed to track her down and tell her everything.
Piers shook off his grief and shrugged. “Thanks for that,” he said.
“Might I suggest,” I said, “in the meantime, you keep yourself busy with other things?” The idea had formed when I watched him with the young Brotherhood sorcerers, but it grew as I stood here next to him. “Like actively recruiting new Steam Union members?”
Piers grinned. “Way ahead of you,” he said. “It was Mom’s policy—Steam Union policy—we not approach newly wakened sorcerers, to only admit those of bloodlines tied to our order. But I’m a little tired of the Brotherhood culling the herd of freelancers out there.”
I couldn’t agree more. “So you’re changing your policy?”
“Already done,” he said. “Took a bit of convincing. Until I told the elders I’d much rather young sorcerers find us instead of the Brotherhood. They finally agreed.”
Just like me to worry about something that was already handled. “And you thought you weren’t the right one for the job.”
Piers ducked his head, cheeks pinking. “Smartass,” he said. Sobered a little. “How’s Quaid?”
Did he know about our fight over my husband’s jealousy? Or was he just concerned because of Quaid’s position as WPC Enforcer leader? Either way, it didn’t matter. I shut down a bit, shook my head.
Piers hugged me again. “I’ll see you soon,” he said.
I let him go, waved as he retreated into a dark tunnel, sighed out my stress, even more tired than before. But at least I had some deeper understanding and maybe could use that to take the edge off my reactions to the ones around me.
That would be a novelty.
Wouldn’t you know, as I turned to the back door, Quaid was watching me with a blank expression on his face? I wasn’t in the mood for an argument, not tonight, but tensed myself for one anyway.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I exhaled, tears springing to my eyes, expecting him to rush toward me, hug me, swing me around. I pictured it in my head, spun out the imagined moment, so clear to me I gasped in surprise when it never happened. He stayed where he was, just watching me.
“I should have told you.” Quaid’s body didn’t shift toward me, shoulders stiff, expression guarded. So, there was more to this apology than just a few simple words to make everything all right again. “And I know better than to doubt you, Syd. With him.” He gestured into the darkness behind me.
“Thanks for that.” Sarcasm, really? Too late. I watched a hint of anger crawl over his face. “I’m proud of you,” I said.
That helped, seemed to. What was this sudden distance between us? I hesitated to close it, to try to hug him. Why was I so afraid he’d reject my arms around him? Maybe because if he did I’d devolve into a sobbing mess. That I’d find out things were more broken than I first thought. Better not to find out.
“Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “I have to go back to Hong Kong. Just home to pack a few things for the night.” When Quaid met my eyes, he had to see the resistance there. “I’ll be home tomorrow. Maybe we can take the kids for dinner and talk.”
I nodded, shivered though I wasn’t cold, rubbed my arms as he lifted the small bag I’d missed seeing lying at his feet, hoisting it over his shoulder. Quaid crossed to me swiftly, as though fearing, as I did, he wasn’t welcome, and kissed my cheek. The barest brush of flesh, scratchy stubble on my skin tingling, not long enough even for me to lift my hand to touch him, hold him, keep him with me before he backed away again.
Blue fire engulfed him and he was gone.
I refused to cry. We’d figure things out. We loved each other. I just wished I could work with him for once instead of on my own. Like always. But Quaid had his own duty to fulfill and I knew I had to stay out of it.
With a heavy heart to match my weary body, I went inside.
I was two steps inside the back door when Sassafras came trotting around the corner from the kitchen and hurried toward me. I bent and scooped him from the floor, wanting comfort. But his agitation resonated with me as clearly as a struck bell when his ears collapsed to the sides, whiskers sinking downward.
“Syd,” he said, voice breaking. “You have to do something.”
Seriously, Universe. Now what?
“Shenka,” he said. “Hurry.”
I strode past the stairs and around the corner, hitting the kitchen at a near run, only skidding to a stop at the sight of my second standing at the door.
Hand on the latch.
Suitcases at her side.
Oh. My. Swearword. Was everyone leaving me?
“Syd.” Shenka’s voice was quiet, trembling just a little, but she held herself rigid as though expecting a battle.
“Where are you going?” She might as well have just ripped out my heart and stomped all over it. I shook as I stood there, staring at her, not knowing what to say or how to say it, to change her mind even though I could feel she was in no mood for conversation.
“Tallah’s asked me to return to our family.” Shenka used her sister’s name like a weapon before softening a little. “And I realized I couldn’t say no.”
So that’s what had been bothering her since she got back from California. “You’re my second,” I stuttered, mind blanking as I took in the luggage, her tight posture, the way her gaze dropped from me to the floor. She couldn’t just leave me now.
“It’s my family,” she said, defensive in her posture, her tone. “And you don’t need me, anyway.”
Don’t need…
Before I could manage a coherent thought, Shenka severed her connection to the family magic, stepping out of it almost like a second skin. It sighed its sorrow at her passing, returning to me, slinking up against me to shiver its sadness. I gaped at her as she pushed open the kitchen door.
“Be well, Syd,” she said. Walked out of my life, closing the door behind her. Magic bloomed, she had a ride, obviously, set up and ready to take her back to her sister.
“Do something!” Sassafras prodded me with power, but I just hugged him, kissing his soft forehead, clenched myself against the inevitable tears while I did the hardest thing I could do at that moment.
I let my best friend go.
***
Chapter Thirty Two
Could this giant, bubbling mess really get any worse? I hoped not.
Fortunately, when I traveled to Harvard to check in on my kids, Gabrie
l was perfectly fine. Smiling, no nightmares, so I could only trust him when he told me he was okay.
The problems didn’t start until Max and I tried to convince him to open a new gateway for us, to find the next piece. As hard as he tried, Gabriel simply couldn’t manage to do it. I could feel the underlying fear in my son, now tied directly to the power within him, and had a brand new worry to add to the pile. He might have been okay on the outside, but how much damage had Max and I done to his confidence?
That meant our plan to lure the other players in the search for the pieces was a go. We had no idea where the next part of Creator was hidden. Which meant we needed a different advantage and pinning down our competition seemed to be the best course of action.
The Empress’s hints about the pieces made me wonder if she might be attached to enemies we had yet to encounter.
There was no news from Trill, her brothers keeping me updated as they searched for her. Their grandmother made it safe and sound to Wilding Springs, enjoying sitting out in the back yard in the peace and quiet, so I was happy that much of their family was together.
I turned over Trill’s insistence in my head she wasn’t my enemy time and again, trying to find a way to trust her, but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Maybe if she’d given me more information, some reason to believe what she was doing was the right way. I’d help her, even. But knowing how much she’d changed and that she was now involved with some shady people who tainted their creation magic on purpose just gave me the feeling she was lying to herself to make her feel better about the betrayal.
Regardless, when I got my hands on her finally, I’d have the full truth from her if she liked it or not. And trust me, she wouldn’t like it one little bit.
The only bonus from the whole situation with the missing pieces was the fact Belaisle seemed as frustrated as Max and me when he went after the thief. The shock on his face and the fact he did nothing to attack us, simply abandoning the chance to take me out when I was clearly outnumbered to go after Trill, was all the evidence I needed. If she’d been working for him, he wouldn’t have flipped out and taken off after her like his life depended on it. Trill having two of the pieces had to be tearing the Brotherhood leader to shreds with frustration. I hoped he choked on it.
