She’s so pure. I kick myself for doubting her for even a second.
I think about all that’s been revealed over the past hour and know what I have to do.
“I have another confession,” I disclose. Talia’s eyes open wide, full of fear. “Nothing to be afraid of, but I feel I should be fully honest, since that’s what we’re doing, right?”
She swallows hard and nods her head slightly.
“I…” My words catch in my throat, and I swallow the lump that’s stopped them. This has never been hard to say before, but suddenly I feel dread in my gut. I clear my throat and start again. “I can’t have children.”
She quirks her head, and her brow wrinkles.
“I was sterilized fourteen years ago.” Her brows fly up high on her forehead, and she shakes her head slightly not understanding. Clearly more needs to be said, but I wonder how she’ll take it. “When Darlene died, I had myself tested. I’m a strong carrier for the gene to cause cystic fibrosis. It was an impulsive move to be sure, taking such extreme measures, so I don’t have a child with the illness or pass on the gene, but I was certain of my decision. I still am. It was horrible to live through, and I wouldn’t survive if I had to do it again. I… I just thought you should know.”
She takes my hand with both of hers and rubs the back with her thumbs. “I’m sorry. That’s such a difficult position for you. I understand why you did it.” Her voice is trembling. “I’m actually a little happy,” she adds.
Now it’s my turn to be confused.
“I don’t think I want to be a mother. With my history, I’m just not sure I’m mother material, and I’ve spent so much of my life taking care of my mom. I know it sounds selfish, but I’m… I’m also afraid I’ll become my mother.”
“Oh, Tal—you could never. I’ve never known anyone with a heart as big as yours. For what it’s worth, I think you’d make an incredible mother.”
But she shakes her head and squeezes my hand. “No. I can’t even imagine it for a second. There are studies that suggest alcoholism is a trait, and I don’t want to take chances with me or a baby. And I have no idea about my father’s genes. Besides, the world today is such a mess, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to bring a baby into it. I’m actually relieved that you… did what you did. Honestly.”
She absolutely undoes me.
I have only three words to say.
CRYSTAL
I’m in shock when he says the unexpected.
“I love you,” he says.
The words bounce around my head like the silver ball in a pinball machine. I hear the bells and whistles. Lights flash in my brain.
When his lips softly come down on mine after the purge we’d both experienced, I feel whole. Almost as if the drama of the past week didn’t exist. Almost. However, that feeling that we are meant for each other returns.
I pull back and stare into his impossibly dark eyes.
“I love you, too.”
David stands and scoops me into his arms in one swift movement. Just like the first time, I muse.
When we reach my bed, David lowers me and resumes his kissing while he works on removing my shirt. I mirror his actions and busy myself with the tiny buttons of his dress shirt. The frenzied mutual undressing continues until we’re both bare.
Feeling elated, I fall back onto the bed. As I bounce on the bed, I watch his eyes glint, watching my breasts jiggle in the broad light of day. Quickly, I cross my chest with my arms.
Quickly, David kneels on the bed and takes hold of my wrists and straddles me in one dizzying motion. “Don’t,” he says. “Don’t cover yourself. You are…” I can hear him struggling to breathe and talk. His eyes travel across my chest and tummy. “God, you are so fucking gorgeous. Inside and out. I’ve missed you so much!” That last bit is practically a growl, and I can feel the restraint he’s exercising in the grip he has on my wrists.
I gently wrangle a wrist from his grip and reach out to touch his face. Though he looks tired, he’s still so beautiful. He closes his eyes as my fingers touch his skin and scruffy beard then through his locks. I take this moment when he’s not watching me to check out his incredible body hovering just over mine. His strong arms, quivering… and his chest, flexed in concert with his arms. My eyes graze over his rippled abs and come to rest over his cock as it twitches on my belly.
My eyes come back to his face, and I see that he’s watching me watch him. A slow grin passes across his face, and I blush that I’ve been caught. I bite my lip, and David’s mouth comes down to mine, and he sucks the lip I was just biting into his mouth and traps it with his teeth, but not hurting me. Our lips meld into a slow, consuming kiss.
David pulls back, and seeing the look in his eyes, amplifies the burning inside. My need to make love with him. I want to beg him to take me already, but the sweet torture, the tender way he’s giving every bit of me attention makes me want to cry. I’ve never felt so revered.
30
Thinking of the Future
CRYSTAL
I wake to the sound of a buzzing in my room, low and rhythmic. I roll over and look at the man in my bed making the racket and smile. David is a snorer. It’s not loud, nor is it an altogether horrible sound. How had I missed that he was a snorer the two other nights we spent together?
Suddenly, I hear drumming coming from the other room. As I continue to listen, a jazzy piano joins the drumming and soon after a horn—I think it’s a saxophone. I slip out of bed, grab David’s discarded button-down shirt to slip on, and head to the living room in search of the music. It’s coming from David’s suit coat, and in his pocket, I find his phone. It’s his alarm, and I’m able to turn it off, then I see on the screen that it’s five fifteen in the morning. It dawns on me that it’s Wednesday, and David probably has to go to work.
I make my way to the kitchen and start to brew some coffee. Next, I’m sashaying through my kitchen gathering things to make breakfast for David grinning to myself that he’s back. A moment later, I feel his strong, warm arms wrap around me and his chin come to a rest on my shoulder.
“This shirt looks so much better on you than me,” his gravelly voice whispers in my ear.
“Good morning,” I say and turn in his arms, a skillet still in my hand.
“Goooood morning.” Tenderly, he brushes some stray hairs from my face before kissing me.
“You ruined my surprise,” I say in a mock pout, pulling back. “I was going to make you eggs, toast, and coffee and bring it to you in bed.” I show him the skillet in my hand and nod toward the loaf of bread and eggs on the counter.
“You’re too good to me.” He kisses me again, then says, “Carry on.” I watch his bare, muscled back, and boxer-clad buns as he walks over to take a seat at the kitchen’s bar.
I can’t wipe the smile from my face as I pop bread in the toaster, then get a couple of eggs cracked into a bowl and beat them. “Oh! You’re okay with scrambled, right?”
“I’m good with anything you make me.”
I head over to him and kiss him. I can’t help myself. I’m on cloud nine.
In a few minutes, I’m buttering the toast and serving up the eggs. I pour us each a coffee then take a seat next to him.
“Not quite like your balcony,” I say almost apologetically.
“I know the solution to that,” he says without missing a beat.
“What, have the building super put a balcony on my place?” I say with a laugh at the absurdity of the idea.
“No. Move in with me.”
I practically drop my fork. I look at him, and his face doesn’t show any hint of joking around.
“Please.”
“David, but… I… we…” I stumble over what to say.
“I know it’s insane,” he says as if reading my mind, but really, what else could the thought be. “But this last week without you was horrible. I don’t want that ever to happen again. I love you, and I want to keep getting to know you. I want to go to sleep with you in my arm
s and wake up with you next to me. We feel so right when we’re together.”
I’m stunned by his words. We’ve only known each other for barely three weeks. And for all but the last twenty-four hours, we’ve had secrets.
“Unless you have more to reveal? Like you’re also married?”
His suggestion makes me laugh. “Um, no. Definitely not.”
“Definitely not?” he asks. “Are you sworn against the institution?”
“No, I just… well, I never considered getting married.”
“So, if I asked you right now, what would you say?”
Is he asking me to marry him? I swallow past the lump that jumps into my throat, and feel like I’m in the ultimate hot seat and unable to breathe. I stand and start pacing.
“I’m sorry,” David whispers in my ear as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to his chest. “I’m rushing, I know. Proposal postponed. Not because I don’t mean it, but because I’d do it with so much more panache.” He slowly kisses my neck, and my knees almost buckle from under me. “But the other invitation… please,” he breathes into my ear. “Move in.”
I want to say yes. Every part of me wants to. My heart and my head. Yet, at the same time, there’s a piece somewhere that is fighting the notion. I’m terrified. I’ve made stupid decisions before. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course.”
David drags me back to our breakfast. We chat about what he’s got going on at the office, and I share with him my plans for the day, which includes grocery shopping, working on my college applications, and probably stopping in at the library. Before long, he’s grabbing his coat. He cradles my face in his hands and looks deeply into my eyes. “Have a great day,” he whispers, then kisses me softly. “Dinner?” I nod. “I’ll pick you up at seven.” And like that, he’s gone. I like sending him off for the day. I imagine doing that every day, and a goofy smile spreads across my face. I could see us living together, but isn’t it too soon?
David and I are enjoying a nice, casual meal—burgers—I insisted. He wanted something high profile, but I suggested we do the incognito thing and head to something low brow. I’m not ready to deal with the paparazzi.
Once we give our orders to the waitress who looks curiously at David as if she recognizes him—something I imagine I’ll be seeing a lot of now that I know who David is—David rests his hands palm side up on the table, silently asking to hold my hands. I smile and place my hands in his. They feel so perfect there.
“So… did you decide anything big today?”
I know he’s talking about the invitation for me to move in with him. Truth is I’ve thought of almost nothing else all day, and I still don’t have a definitive answer. I’m enjoying my independence. I’m not sure I want to give that up. Then again, I love being anywhere David is. His description of falling asleep in his arms every night and waking next to him every morning is so enticing. Not to mention, his apartment is incredible where mine is, by comparison, average at best.
Suddenly, David’s phone rings. David glances at it then says, “It’s Alec, my private investigator friend.” The questioning look on my face leads him to add, “I had him look into Leo.”
“Oh,” is all I can say.
“Hi, Alec. What do you have? Yeah? Uh-huh… right, okay. Wow… Great, I mean, not, but… Sure, sure… Thanks. Good work. I’ll say. Yeah, take care.”
Hearing only the one side is killing me. Did Leo and his story check out? Or had I been hoodwinked?
David puts his phone in his pocket and takes my hands with my fingers that are nervously rubbing together and says, “Now, where were we?”
“Oh, no you don’t. What happened? What did your guy say?”
“Easiest job for my guy.”
“Okay… And?” I press.
“Good news and bad news,” he says cryptically.
“Well. Out with it. Spill.”
“Aren’t you going to ask me for the good news first? Or do you want to hear the bad news first.”
“David James Waterston. If you don’t give me the full story in the next thirty seconds, I… I… I…”
He squeezes my hands and smiles his warm smile. “Okay, calm down. The good news is that the story checks out. That Leo left his job in Tennessee seven months ago. And that good news is also the bad news. His daughter is sick and seeing a doctor in the Pediatric Orthopedic Center at the Lurie Children’s Hospital. We don’t have the specifics due to HIPAA laws, but from what he can find, it’s quite serious. There was a fundraiser for her in Tennessee, and they were able to raise twenty thousand dollars, but knowing Lurie, that is long spent.”
I bite my lip to keep back the tears, tears for Leo’s daughter and for Leo.
“We’ve got this. I’ve a lot of connections in the medical field. Let me find out who can help, and then we’ll talk to Leo. Get them all the help we can find. Okay?”
My heart warms looking into David’s eyes. He’s so caring even for an old boyfriend of mine, well, for his daughter. I’m overwhelmed with emotion.
“Hey, why the tears?” David asks, letting go of one of my hands to use his thumb to wipe away the emotional drop of water that’s escaped from my eye. I didn’t even know I was crying.
“You’re just so amazing.”
“Move in with me,” he says simply.
And we’re back. I take a breath and say, “I don’t know. I want to say ‘yes,’ I really do…”
“But?”
I sigh at his crushed reaction. He’s clearly feeling dejected that I’ve not accepted his offer without reservation. “But I’ve never lived on my own and had my own space… my own bills. I kind of like it. I like that I’m not tripping over other people’s messes, and I can make whatever noise I want at whatever time. I like that I don’t have to look after anyone. I like that I don’t have to worry about leaving something out. I’m not saying you’re messy or anything else, but I like being independent. Does that make sense?”
His worried face has softened, and he rubs his thumbs over my knuckles. “Yes. It makes perfect sense. I hadn’t thought of any of those things.” He’s reflective a moment, then says, “How about a drawer or two. And some closet space at my place. This way, if you want to stay at my place, you have things you’ll need.”
I didn’t think I could be more head-over-heels for this guy, but I was wrong. I nod, and my face hurts from the smile that I feel plastered across it.
David reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box. It’s not very big, just about three by six inches and half an inch thick and tied closed with a silky black ribbon. I untie the bow and open the lid. Inside, on a bed of shiny silver tissue paper, sits a key card like his with the condo logo for the elevator.
“Come and go as you please.”
I turn the key card over and over thinking about the offer. His place is nice, but mine is too. And Lainey is right next door. I love hanging out with her and eating ice cream while we watch mindless TV. And when her friends come over—our friends, she corrects me. But it would be fun to show up at his condo and surprise him with a home-cooked meal or other things. What I like best about the card is it shows he trusts me even after all we've been through. And he's not asking me to move in exactly. Yet.
I smile at him, lean over and kiss him, then put the card in my wallet.
31
Meeting His Parents
CRYSTAL
“David,” a beautiful, glamorous woman starts as we walk into the kitchen of David’s parents’ home. Her eyes immediately jump to me, and she gasps. “You must be Talia!” she cries, her eyes wide and face beaming. She looks at David approvingly then pulls me into a tight hug. How she knew I was me, I have no idea. “Come!” she says, wedging herself between David and me, an arm around each of us and leads us through the first floor of her beautiful home to the most amazing backyard I could ever imagine with giant trees, a tree swing, and to the right, a large yet cozy deck with a fireplace and all with a view of a pond. “E
veryone! Look who’s here!”
We step onto the stone patio full of people, most I don’t recognize, but one I do. Jimmy. He was so nice at the Lake Shake.
David makes the introductions, using my ‘false’ name of Talia instead of my real name. I actually am starting to prefer Talia over Crystal. I do my best to remember everyone’s names, but I know it’ll be a challenge—and clearly, everyone knows about me which makes me feel a little more than awkward.
After David kisses my cheek and heads off to commiserate with the men while I’m left with the women, I’m welcomed by David’s mother, Patty, Jimmy’s wife, Debbi, Aunt Tina, and the Waterston’s neighbor, Marlene. They ask questions but don’t pry, and for that I’m grateful.
Before long, David’s dad announces that the ribs are ready, the women spring into action, darting here and there with plates, silverware, beverages, and side dishes. I feel awkward in their seemingly well-orchestrated dance of who handles what, but I offer my help, and they put me to work. Everyone digs in, and it’s a family dinner I’d often dreamed of.
Over dinner, I love all the familiarity of the couples and the stories that everyone volunteers about the Waterston family, focusing on David, like everyone wants me to know how amazing David is—as if I didn’t already know. I’m relieved that I’m not grilled about my past. It was hard enough to tell David. I help clear the table ever mindful of the dishes that were definitely NOT a part of some promotion at the local supermarket and join everyone on the deck around the fire pit.
DAVID
“Jimmy’s right,” Debbie, says. “Talia is delightful.”
“Thanks,” I reply in complete agreement, and to Jimmy, I add, “And thanks for your advice.”
Win for Love Page 26
