Whatever.
I tried to hold a grudge but I was too tired, his body was too warm and I’d had two orgasms. A grudge was physical y and mental y impossible.
Instead my body relaxed, my mind went blank and I fel asleep.
* * * * *
I was dead asleep when I felt Vance tense then move swiftly. He’d been pressed against my back and I felt the cool air when his body came away from mine. I turned, got up on an elbow and watched Boo go flying off the bed just as Vance vanished over the side.
I came up to a seated position, confused, then my breath caught in my throat when I heard a knock on the backdoor, it opened, the alarm started beeping its warning and Nick cal ed, “Jules?”
“Hey Nick!” I yel ed immediately and rol ed forward, taking the sheet with me. I twisted to the side, yanking the sheet around me frantic now for a different reason. I threw my legs over the side of the bed, missed the steps and went flying.
I would have landed likely painful y on al fours but Vance caught me at the last minute with an arm around my waist. I doubled over his arm with an “oof”. He pul ed my torso up and set me on my feet, his arm stil around me, my back to his front.
Throughout al of this, Nick kept talking while he punched in my alarm code and walked through the kitchen. “I thought I’d treat the birthday girl to coffee and a muffin. What do you say to –”
He stopped talking when he hit the doorway to the hal and caught sight of Vance and me. Then he came to a dead halt.
Oh crap.
I real y hoped that Vance had some clothes on even though I did not, just the sheet, somewhere during the second round last night I’d lost my nightgown.
Um…
How embarrassing was this?
“Nick –” I started.
He didn’t miss a beat. “Vance can come too.”
“Nick.”
“We’l go to Fortnum’s. I hear they have a great new coffee guy,” Nick continued.
I nodded, deciding to pretend I was dressed, life was cool and I wasn’t caught by the only father I remembered standing in an advanced state of undress in the arms of…
whatever Vance was to me.
“That sounds good,” I said.
“Vance?” Nick’s eyes went over my shoulder.
“Yeah,” Vance said.
“Great. Just knock on my door when you two are ready.” He turned to leave and I sagged against Vance’s body.
Then he turned back and I went ramrod straight again.
I heard Vance’s quiet laughter in my ear and I kept my face perfectly composed and my body stil so as not to turn around and gouge his eyes out.
“Just to say… I’l be a little more cautious next time.
Don’t want to get shot in the ass walking into my niece’s kitchen.”
Behind his glasses, Nick was laughing too.
The men in my life, I wanted to murder them al (except Roam and Sniff but they weren’t men yet, they were boys –
when they became men I was sure they’d get scratched on to Jules Hit List just because men on the whole were vastly annoying and they wouldn’t be able to help themselves).
Then before I could say anything, Nick was gone.
The minute I heard the door close, I whirled on Vance and I saw that luckily he had his jeans on. Unfortunately, he had his gun in his hand.
I ignored his gun and the sight of his chest (very hard to ignore, seriously) and clipped, “What’s funny now?” Instead of answering, he snatched me into his arms and kissed me, ful -on, ful tongue. Even in a snit, I had to admit, it was delicious.
When he lifted his head, he said in his silky voice,
“Happy birthday, Princess.”
Um…
Wow.
He looked at me with sexy eyes and said, “Let’s take a shower.”
I could do a shower. I could do a lot of things after a
“happy birthday” like that.
He let me go and twisted to put the gun on the side of the bed platform by the mattress.
And that’s when I saw his back.
“Oh my God,” I breathed.
He came back around to me but my eyes didn’t move from the space where I’d seen it even though I was now staring at his chest.
“Jules?” I heard Vance cal .
I walked around him and he came with me but I put my hand to his waist and whispered, “Stand stil .” Surprisingly he did as I asked.
I got to his back and saw the puckered scar of the gunshot wound. I put both my hands on him then, my arms tight against my sides to hold up the sheet, one hand went to his bel y, one hand at the smal of his back.
I leaned around and looked at his chest.
Nothing.
I looked to his back again.
Gunshot wound.
I went back to his chest then to his back and again.
Then…
I lost my mind.
“They shot you in the back?” I yel ed.
He turned to face me. “Jules.”
I lifted my eyes to his face. “The back? ” I shouted.
His arms started to come around me but I jerked away.
“What kind of asshole shoots someone in the back?” I was stil shouting.
“Jules, listen –”
“That is just… I cannot believe… no one shoots anyone in the back. Only gutless sissies would shoot someone in the back.” My brows drew together and I frowned at Vance.
“What happened?”
Correctly reading that there was no way he could interfere with my rant, Vance leaned against the bed platform and crossed his arms. “I can’t tel you. When it happened, we were workin’ a contract with the Feds.” I put my hands on my hips. The sheet started unraveling so I compromised and put one hand to my hip while the other one held the sheet around me.
“How did you get shot in the back?” I asked.
“I can’t tel you that, Jules.”
I looked to the ceiling. “I just cannot believe this shit,” I told the ceiling like it would respond. Then I looked back at Vance. “I want a word with Lee. Government contracts where you go up against cowardly assholes that would shoot his men in the back, I… think… not.”
“I’m fine,” Vance told me.
“I know you’re fine. I can see you’re fine. I do not care if you are fine.” I ended my tirade enunciating every word like my life depended on that particular communication.
In the face of my anger, Vance started laughing.
Laughing!
My body prepared to have a stroke. “This is not fucking funny!” I shouted.
He moved fast, his hands came to my hips giving me a swift yank. I flew forward and slammed against his body.
swift yank. I flew forward and slammed against his body.
His shaking with laughter body.
Then his arms went around me, his face went to my neck and I felt his laughter there too.
Final y he said, “You wanna break up with me now?” Oh my God.
He did not just say that.
“What’s your middle name?” I snapped.
His head came up and he was stil smiling. “Why?”
“Tel me your middle name,” I demanded.
He kept smiling but he told me. “It’s Ouray.” I blinked. “Ouray? Like, the town?”
“Yeah. It’s Ute. It means ‘arrow’.”
“Okay, then,” I took a deep breath and let loose, “Vance Ouray Crowe, do not fucking piss me off. It’s my fucking birthday and when I say this is not funny, it is not fucking funny!”
Vance stared at me a beat, that Jules-is-downright-adorable look in his eye.
Then he asked conversational y, his arrogant grin replacing his smile, “Do you think Nick’l wait for coffee long enough for me to fuck you?”
My eyes narrowed. “You’ve just moved to the top of my list,” I informed him snottily.
His grin didn’t waver. “Your list?”
“My ‘Men in My Life I�
��m Going to Kil ’ List. You’re at the top.”
This time he threw his head back and laughed, ful body, ful throated, ful -on laughter.
When he was finished, his eyes came back to me and he said, “You can kil me after I fuck you.”
“Vance!”
His mouth came to mine and he gave me a soft kiss.
“Shut up, Jules. We need to shower.”
“It’s my birthday, don’t tel me to shut up.”
“Nick’s waiting. You can keep yel in’ at me later.” This was true, Nick was waiting.
I pul ed out of his arms and stomped to the kitchen, grumbling under my breath and tightening the sheet around me. “I have to feed Boo. Then we can take a shower. Then we’l go to coffee. Then I’m gonna cal Lee and give him a piece of my mind.”
I heard the bathroom door close and I realized Vance wasn’t listening to a thing I said.
I yanked Boo’s food bowl out of the cupboard and slammed it on the counter.
What ever.
Chapter Fourteen
Your Real Family
Nick walked into Fortnum’s ahead of Vance and me. We walked in (I kid you not) holding hands (or Vance was holding my hand and I was giving myself a secret birthday present by letting him).
Yes, the badass mother and the head crackin’ mamma jamma holding hands. The dealers would probably piss their pants laughing if they saw us.
The place was packed.
Tex, Jet and Al y were working the espresso counter.
Indy was clearing used cups from the seating area. The big, gray-haired, gravel y-voiced Harley guy was behind the book counter next to a woman I hadn’t seen the first time I was there. She was dark-haired, painful y thin and very tal .
“Oh fuck,” the Harley guy said loudly when he saw me,
“batten down the hatches.”
Nick’s eyes moved to the Harley guy and then narrowed when Nick saw that he was talking about me.
“What’s his problem?” Nick asked just as loudly, turning to Vance and me.
Um.
Uh-oh.
“I’ve no idea,” I replied, feigning innocence.
“She’s my problem,” the Harley guy answered, stil looking at me. “We’ve had the works. Indy’s kidnappings and murder. Jet’s kidnappings and rape attempt. Roxie’s kidnapping and stalking. Car bombs. Grenades. Knife fights. Female wrestling at Chinese restaurants. Mayhem at a haunted house. Gunshots at a strip club. Showdowns at society parties. Now we got a vigilante on our hands.” The man looked at Vance while the tal woman edged away from him and disappeared into the shelves (which I thought was a smart move). “What is it with you boys?” he asked Vance. “I real y wanna know.”
Everyone was staring at us and there were a lot of everyones. Nick and I were staring at the Harley guy; both of our mouths were open.
“Excuse me, I’ve gotta talk to Duke,” Vance murmured, face blank (which I didn’t figure was a good sign). He let go of my hand and walked to the book counter.
Nick’s arm went around my shoulders and he dipped his head to my ear. “You think he knows about you?” he whispered.
“Yeah,” I nodded, “I think he knows about me.”
“Do you know what he’s talking about? Mayhem at a haunted house? Gunshots at a strip club?” Nick asked.
“Some of it,” I answered.
Nick looked closely at me. He was wearing a rendition of his Morgue Face with a little bit of “Oh my God” thrown in.
Then he shook his head.
“Don’t tel me. I don’t wanna know,” he said.
“Gotcha,” I replied, thinking he real y didn’t want to know.
“Shee-it, it’s the fuckin’ birthday girl,” Tex boomed from behind the counter, a crazy-man grin on his face. “Get up here, Law.”
“Hey Tex,” I cal ed.
“Do you know these people?” Nick was stil whispering as he led me toward the coffee bar.
“Um… yeah. We’ve kind of become friends. Vance hangs out here,” I answered.
“Ah,” Nick said slowly, though his expression showed that he didn’t know if that was a good thing.
“Get outta the way. Get… the fuck… outta the way.
There’s a birthday girl here. She comes to the front of the line,” Tex was booming at the customers. They were looking at each other, some of them seemed taken aback, others, likely the regulars, just did what they were told.
“I’l make you today’s special. Vanil a and spice. It’s a knockout and it’s on me,” Tex told me as we approached him then when we arrived at the counter, he asked, “Who’s this guy?” His eyes were on Nick.
I introduced Nick to everyone. Indy came up and gave me a birthday hug and Jet and Al y wished me a happy birthday while they completed coffees.
We placed our orders and moved to the other side of the counter to wait for our drinks. Vance met us there. When he did I looked back at Duke. Duke was frowning at me. I looked at Vance again.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
Vance just smiled at me. I decided to take that as a “yes” though Duke’s face said it was a “no”.
“What’re you havin’?” Tex boomed at Vance.
“Sorry, but I was next.” The male customer at the front of the line, clearly having a death wish, spoke up.
Tex’s eyes cut to the customer and his brows drew together.
Um.
Yikes.
“Oh yeah? You are?” Tex asked the customer.
“Uh… yeah,” the customer said, now sounding not so sure even though he was standing at the front of the line.
“You a badass motherfucker who hunts down drug dealers at night?” Tex went on.
The customer stared at Tex then he stared at Vance then he stared back at Tex.
“Er… no,” he replied.
“You a badass mother fucker at all? ” Tex continued.
The customer looked at Vance. Then he looked at Tex.
The customer had thinning sandy-brown hair, was an inch or two shorter than me, was wearing a suit and was perhaps ten pounds underweight. He was no badass motherfucker. He looked like an accountant.
The customer decided belatedly to keep his mouth shut.
“That boy is a badass motherfucker. Badass motherfuckers get their coffee first. It’s a rule at Fortnum’s.
You become a badass motherfucker you get to go to the front of the line. You got me?” Tex declared.
The customer nodded, perhaps the only thing he was able to do which I figured was why he didn’t turn around and leave.
Tex turned back to Vance. “Now, what’l it be?”
“Americano, room for cream,” Vance said. His lips, I noted, were twitching. I could tel he wanted to grin but he was trying real y hard not to.
“You got it,” Tex returned.
I waited then when nothing else happened, I took a deep breath and relaxed, thinking that our dramatic entrance was over.
I was wrong. Very, very wrong.
Al of a sudden Tex boomed again. This time he pointed at the couch in front of the window with a wide arc of his arm, the espresso filter in his hand. A pot of used, soggy grounds went flying across the room to splat on the floor in front of the couch. The people preparing to sit on the couch jumped away from the splattering grounds.
“What now?” Nick muttered from beside me.
“You! Yeah you!” Tex boomed, shaking the filter at a couple standing frozen in front of the couch. “Do not put your asses on that couch. The Law is sittin’ there with her uncle. Move!”
“Tex, we’re fine,” I said, my eyes on the scurrying customers.
“Stop scaring the customers,” Indy snapped over my words, her hands were on her hips, “and stop tossing the portafilter
around.
You’re
getting
coffee
grounds
everywhere. Do you ever clean them up when you do that?
No! I clean them up. Jet cleans
them up. Jane cleans them up. Does Tex clean them up? No, Tex does not clean them up!”
Jet was giggling, hips leaned against the back counter, arms wrapped around her middle. Al y was grinning like a loon. She grabbed a towel and hustled towards the couch to clean up the grounds.
I was thinking if I had one birthday wish, I would start the day again and miss Fortnum’s (and getting caught by Nick wearing nothing but a sheet though I’d keep the shower with Vance, it was fast but it was nice).
“That’s the best goddamned seat in the house,” Tex explained to Indy, cutting into my thoughts, “and Law’s sittin’
there.”
“Tex –” Indy began.
“No lip!” Tex slammed down Nick’s cappuccino next to my special and the foam sloshed over the sides. Then he looked at me. “Sit!”
“Al right, we’re sitting,” I said, smiling at him, hopeful y placatingly, “calm down, big man.”
Tex glared at the next customer, the unfortunate who’d opened his mouth. “She’s a badass motherfuckeress.
She’d kick your ass soon as look at you. You’ve clapped your eyes on The Law. Count yourself lucky, sucker. Now, what’l it fuckin’ be?”
I looked at the ceiling. Then I looked at the customer who was now staring at me and shook my head with an apologetic wince.
“I see you’ve given up on keepin’ a low profile,” Nick remarked, walking with me to the couch.
I decided to keep my mouth shut. I heard Vance laugh softly beside me. I threw him a frown. Then his laughter became not-so-soft.
Whatever.
We settled on a couch, me by the arm, Vance on the arm next to me, Nick on the seat on my other side.
Nick took a sip of his cappuccino, his eyes got big and he stared into his paper cup. “Now I understand why they put up with him. This coffee is great.”
I just nodded and took a sip of my own and decided
“great” didn’t do it justice.
Nick’s hand went into his jacket and he pul ed out a long, thin box, wrapped with pink paper topped with a little pink bow. “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he said, his eyes warm on my face, handing the box to me.
I slammed my special on the table in front of me and clapped. I couldn’t help it, I loved presents and Nick’s presents were the best.
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