“You must leave here. Go now before it is too late.”
Nickie huffed a breath, sending a white puff of air into the frigid cavern, and shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you? We’re a team. At least, we’re supposed to be.”
He considered using harsh words to make her leave, but they would not come to his lips. He had already hurt her more than he ever should have.
“Please, my Nickie. I can survive any physical pain they unleash upon my body. I can endure. But my soul would shatter into a million pieces if they harmed you again even one time. Please leave this horrible place,” he begged. She could not suffer his fate. He refused to allow it.
“We’re supposed to stay together. Stay strong,” she said, the hurt in her voice deeper than before. “Remember? Hazel told us that. No, wait… You decided that wasn’t a good idea, so obviously, you don’t. Lucky for you, I’m here to remind you.”
A flash of her anger burst into his mind, stealing his breath. Not because he did not deserve it—he did—but because it was there at all. As much as he wanted to deepen their connection—as desperate as he was for their mind touch—he had to make her see reason. “They will be back. As soon as they know that you live, they will return. You will be chained with me for eternity. If you go now, you can get help. Go find Jasmine. Perhaps, in time, you will find me, and I will be freed once more, but do not stay and be captured.”
“I’m not leaving you here, so forget about it,” she said, her biting tone unwavering as she got to her feet and took a deep breath. “How the hell are we going to get that collar off now?”
“We cannot. There is no one to aid you. There is nothing to be done. Please, go.”
Nickie came to him and crouched down so that she was at his eye level. Fire sparked in her gaze. “Say it one more time, and I swear I will make you ride in the back of the truck to wherever we’re going next,” she hissed.
The emptiness of her threat flooded him, and along with it, her love. She was angry and hurt, but also determined. He struggled to keep his lips from tipping up. Had she any idea how beautiful she was with fury flashing in her eyes? “All right, my Nickie. If I cannot convince you to go, what shall we do?”
Nickie examined his collar and sighed. “It’s the same as before. Can you fit your fingers in two of the holes? It’s a tight squeeze, but if you can get the two latches, I can get the other two.”
Although he had tried many times to do that in his previous captivity, for her, he tried once more. Try as he might, the thickness of his fingers would not fit the small openings. The only reasonable thing to do would be to go and return with help. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t even start,” she snapped into his mind. “We’re both getting out of here. The answer is in our bond. It has to be. If the magic was effective against it, we wouldn’t be able to have this conversation.”
Zenon stilled. “You’re right. My contact with Zandar had been only moments before you freed me. Your presence was the key to unleashing my phoenix.” It was the only thing that made sense. The absolute silence he’d existed in had never been broken until she’d been close.
Excitement, both hers and his, bubbled to the surface.
“So, what do we do?” she asked.
Searching deep inside himself, he reached for his beast. The flicker of fiery energy at the depths of his soul sparked but would not rise. “I must connect with my phoenix. If I can get it to the forefront, I will be able to break the collar.”
Nickie looked at him for a second, then a small smile, one he would swear he had not seen in too many lifetimes, broadened. Before he could guess at what she would do, she cupped his cheeks and kissed him.
At the gentle touch of her lips, the spark flared brighter. Rather than coax it out, Nickie filled him with everything soft and wonderful within her. Every ounce of love she held in her heart for him, she poured through their bond, bolstering the connection from her soul to his. “Come back to me, mate. Let’s get out of this place so we can be together,” she said.
The phoenix, sluggish and drowsy, rose to greet her. The struggle to surge burned like fire in his gut, but little by little, power flowed into him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Needing the physical contact as their souls rejoiced.
Not ready to break the spell, he groaned when she pulled away. She smiled against his lips with a sigh. “We really do have to go, so if you’re ready to get rid of that thing, I’m all for it.”
***
Zenon’s phoenix marks brightened along his arms and his stomach, and her skin tingled along with his. If she were to look inside her jacket—one she wasn’t taking off for anything because it was cold as hell—she was sure her own paler ones would be glowing.
Without breaking her gaze, he reached for the collar, slipping his fingers beneath the ice-cold metal. With a grunt and a hard tug, the hinge on the left side snapped under the strain. Once broken, the right fell apart, useless. The air around them expanded, then, as though the energy surrounding them was too much, it popped like a balloon.
Relief made her knees weak and she sagged lower, but Zenon was there, standing and taking her with him. His arms wrapped around her, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. “We have to go. They couldn’t have gotten far. The magic was disrupted. They will return,” he said, ushering her to the mouth of the cave.
The joy coming from him was nothing but a shadow of the guilt pouring off him. It suffocated in its intensity. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, my Nickie.”
His words rang true, but what needed to be said could not happen right then. He’d hurt her, and they would have to deal with that—but not yet. “We’ll talk about it when we get to somewhere safe. For now, let’s go,” she said before stepping into the howling wind.
The downhill hike to the truck was faster and easier. And without the worry of what she would find when she reached the cave, Nickie was able to admire the mountain views. Kind of. She was still hyperaware of everything around them and was ready to drop at the first sign of trouble, by the time they reached the lookout, her greatest discomfort was her cold nose.
Thankfully, the parking area was empty when they got there. Without saying a word, she hauled the fresh clothing from the bag at the back, handing them to Zenon so he could dress while she started the engine. As soon as the motor was warm enough, she’d set the heater to high. If she was chilled with her jacket on, he had to be freezing.
“Do not worry, mate. I am well,” he sent the reassurance into her mind.
It should have brought her comfort knowing he was there, but it poked too close to the open wound he’d created when he’d closed himself off to her. That, more than the fact that he’d lied, hurt the most. He’d taken their bond and dismissed it—dismissed her. Pile on top of that everything that had happened between then and when she’d risen in that cave next to him, and she couldn’t process it. The fear, if she thought about it for half a second, crippled her to the point where she couldn’t breathe. He had delivered himself to the enemy without a backward thought about how it would affect her knowing that they were torturing him—killing him—over and over.
Zenon’s soft touch remained in her mind, but he didn’t push her—didn’t force a conversation she wasn’t ready to have. Before she could even think about any of it, she had to get them off the damned mountain and somewhere safe. Shoving everything to the back of her mind, she threw the truck in reverse. At least the trip down the mountain wouldn’t be as treacherous since her heart was beating normally again.
Neither of them spoke as she drove. They passed the service station without uttering a word. By the time they reached the highway, the exhaustion of the past twenty-four hours beat down on her. The adrenaline that had kept her going through the night and into the morning disappeared, leaving her shaking and bone weary.
“We have to stop, my Nickie,” Zenon said softly when she couldn’t keep from yawning long and loud.
Part of her—the stu
bborn one who’d had her choices taken away—wanted to argue and tell him that she wasn’t ready to stop, but she wasn’t stupid. Driving that tired was dangerous for not only them, but everyone else on the road.
When she spotted a small hotel on the side of the highway, she pulled in. She didn’t say anything as she dug her backpack out. Though she hadn’t specified whether he should join her, when she got out and headed toward the lobby, Zenon was right there with her.
Checking in took longer than it should have. The kid behind the counter was more preoccupied with whatever texts he had coming in than taking care of the customer, but eventually, with key in hand, they made their way to their room.
“You can shower first,” Nickie said as she collapsed onto the bed fully dressed. Even if she wanted to, standing there would require more energy than she had.
Zenon took a deep breath, then nodded.
Chapter 26
Zenon remained under the shower’s hot spray until the water ran cool. He did not wish to avoid Nickie or the difficult conversation ahead, but moments after he had entered the bathroom, her mind had gone silent—not in the way that meant she had locked him out. She was still there, but she slept. More than anything, she needed the rest.
And he had to come to terms with what he’d done and how it had hurt the one who mattered more to him than anyone else. His desperation to find his brother had driven him to make poor decisions, but that was no excuse. His actions had placed Nickie in danger and caused her to suffer both mentally and physically. The sight of her seizures on that unforgiving stone were etched into his mind for all eternity. But worse than that, the fear that had been in her eyes when he had been unable to do anything to ease it… He would never forgive himself for any of it.
Nickie’s mental touch roused inside him like a gentle caress. “Come to bed. I’m too tired to deal with any of this right now, and you’re thinking way too loudly.”
Not bothering to dry himself, Zenon wrapped a towel around his waist and went to her. He would not be the reason for more of her discomfort. When he entered the room, he found her exactly as he’d left her, sprawled on her back on the bed with her jacket hanging open and her boots still on her feet. Her eyes were open, but she struggled to keep them that way, her blinking lids taking much longer to open and close than they normally would.
He crossed over to her and tugged one boot off, then the other, placing them next to the bed. Next came the socks. Having something constricting on her feet would not be comfortable to sleep in. She grumbled when he helped her sit but then sagged against him while he removed her coat, then tugged her sweater over her head. Searching her memories, he figured out the clasp of her bra and undid that before helping her to lie on the mattress once more. He managed to remove the undergarment without exposing her breasts—much, leaving her T-shirt in place. He debated keeping the jeans on, as well, but the stiff fabric would not allow her free movement while she slept, so he removed those, too.
When all she was left with were the delicate panties covering her sex and her T-shirt, he tucked her beneath the blankets before going to the window and drawing the curtains closed. Sliding into the bed next to her, he pulled her to him.
“That was nice. Thank you,” she whispered as she burrowed closer and her mind silenced once more.
Kissing her temple, he forced the tension from his body. “Sleep, sweet angel.” Never again would he put his needs above hers. The price paid was too great.
***
Nickie woke to a dark room. Although she’d gone to sleep on a soft hotel mattress, she now lay on a hard body. It was just after three o’clock in the morning if the bright red numbers glaring at her from the night stand were accurate. She probed gently at Zenon’s mind, finding him calm and quiet. They’d checked into the hotel over fourteen hours before. The last thing she remembered was Zenon tucking her into bed.
Now that they were safe, or as safe as they could be with mercenary assholes chasing them, she pried open the mental door she’d shoved all her fears and emotions behind to get through the previous day. It was nothing more than a sliver of space, but it was enough to kick her heartrate up a notch. So much had happened that she hadn’t had time to process.
Not for one second did she regret her decision to mate with Zenon. All the way down to her soul, she had known it was right and meant to be, and that hadn’t changed. The same love still burned inside her, only now, the connection was beyond anything she could have ever dreamed before.
After that, things had taken a different spin. Decisions were made that she’d had no part of but had suffered the consequences for. Some of the anger she’d clung to the day before resurfaced for a minute before dissolving into something much more difficult to process. From the moment the manacle had been secured to her wrist, her choices had been cast aside. All that she’d done since she’d started on her journey with the other women had been to find him and save him from the hell he’d been living in. Okay, so she’d wanted to save herself, too, but was that such a horrible thing? She didn’t think so.
It hadn’t been easy, but they’d found him. And they’d freed him. Then, after all that, she’d given him everything she had. Her memories, her thoughts…and yet, when the time came when he needed to trust in her and see their journey to the end together, he’d chosen to leave her behind.
The image of him flying away from her crept into her mind, and moisture pooled behind her eyelids. Part of her wanted to shove the memory behind that stupid door and ignore it, but that wouldn’t get her any closer to getting past it. She drew a shaky breath and sniffled. Between his body heat, the blankets draped over her, and the emotions rushing through her, she couldn’t breathe. She needed space, if only for a few minutes. She wasn’t stupid. She wouldn’t leave without knowing whether the enemy was close, but she couldn’t stay snuggled on top of his body, either.
Careful not to wake him, Nickie slipped from the bed. She made it all the way to the bathroom before the first tear fell. By the time she had the water running and was standing under the spray, she couldn’t see past the blurriness. But she didn’t care.
From the moment he’d left her at that stupid gas station, she’d been alone. Not just physically, but emotionally. He’d cut her off. Just like that. Like she didn’t matter. He’d blocked himself from her after having promised to be with her always. He’d made her believe it. But then, at the first opportunity, he’d reneged on it.
Each time those monsters had hurt him—killed him—she’d been alone to wonder what horrors he was going through. She’d been helpless to comfort him, and that hurt, but he’d also not been there for her. Every time her heart had given out, she’d been alone. On a conscious level, she’d known the phoenix would heal her and that she’d be okay, but the same paralyzing fear had slammed into her and not let go.
But when she’d seen Zenon lying there, laying in a pool of his own blood, his gaze unfocused and that fucking collar around his neck, something in her soul shattered. Even after all the hurt he’d put her through, seeing him like that was worse than any of it.
Leaning her head against the shower wall, she let her tears fall. For her. For him. Try as she might to keep quiet, a sob broke free, then another, shaking her to her core.
A small blast of cool air was all the warning she got before Zenon came in behind her. With his hands at her shoulders, he turned her to him. The pain etched on his own face only made her tears fall harder.
Zenon dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head against her belly as he squeezed her tight. “I’m so sorry, my Nickie,” he said, his voice broken and thick. Though he didn’t make another sound, his wide shoulders shook.
She hadn’t thought to shield him from what she was thinking—what she was feeling—but then, maybe it was better that she hadn’t. How could they move forward if they weren’t honest with one another? Most couples had months, or even years to develop the skills needed to make things work. Knowing a person the w
ay they knew each other was more than most could ever dream of, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be hiccups in the road.
Only when her tears subsided, and she suspected maybe his own had, too, did Zenon come off the shower floor and pull her to him, holding her close. “I never meant to hurt you. Had I known, I would have chosen differently. I would never have left you alone to face your fears,” he said, squeezing her tighter with every word.
The truth ran into the depths of his soul, overwhelming her as he laid it bare before her.
“Never will I willingly break our connection and allow that emptiness to touch you,” he vowed as he pulled back and kissed her eyelids.
When she lifted her lips to his, he didn’t hesitate, sealing his vow with a kiss. His love and devotion wrapped around her, easing the pain in her heart. “We will figure this out, my Nickie. I will learn how to better care for your heart and your soul. I will be a better mate.”
Chapter 27
When Zenon had woken to the devastating agony coming from Nickie, his first thought had been that the enemy had found them. Her pain poured into him like acid eating at his soul. It wasn’t until he’d bolted from the bed and heard her quiet sobbing that he truly understood the magnitude of what he had done. Her pain was not physical, but it was no less real. He’d glimpsed it as he’d flown away from her the day before and again in the truck as they’d driven to the hotel, but he hadn’t skimmed the surface of its depth.
He kissed her again, needing the physical connection with her as much as the soul touch. With gentle hands, he brought her under the spray and ran his fingers through her beautiful hair, wetting it. The sweet-smelling shampoo the hotel provided was nothing compared to her own scent, but it would do. Massaging her scalp, he gently released every snag and knot. After all the soap had run down the drain, he applied the conditioner and once again, set to relaxing both her body and her mind.
Rising Darkness_Book One of a Phoenix Shifter Fantasy Romance Page 17
