It was on one of these snowfields that we landed, after an hour of flight. Seen from above, the ground appeared quite vast, but as we descended it became enclosed between two white walls, revealing itself to be a long hanging valley flanked by steep, icy slopes. I help the two Levs to unload their equipment and balance it on a small, flat sled.
“How many firecrackers have you got?” the pilot asks them. Big Lev gets muddled up trying to count them. Little Lev calls out with the zealous air of a Boy Scout: “Twelve, Chief. We’ll start when the sun’s up and we’ll be finished before it sets. After that, just time to get back on board.” The sun has not yet risen. Today it will be there for an hour and thirty-five minutes, the pilot explains to me . . . The geologists move off in the direction of a slope that rises in uneven terraces. Extending his arm toward a hollow in the rock, the pilot shows me the way. I’ll have to skirt the obstacle of a glacier, leave the valley, traverse a narrow saddle until the moment when the summit, which will at first look like a vast monolith, divides up into three bare peaks: the Trident. . . “They have twelve charges today, our bombardiers. So you’ll hear twelve explosions. Count them carefully. At the last one turn back immediately. They’ll still have their rocks to gather up. Then we’ll take off at once. We won’t be able to wait for you . . .”
I set off, glancing several times at the crenellation of the mountains all around our landing ground, trying to take note of a few features. Already the sky is almost light; the sun will rise in half an hour . . . Just as I am making my way around a rock with an icy fissure gouged out of it and losing sight of the landing ground, I hear the first explosion.
* * *
The echo of the seventh, multiplied by the mountain, reaches me at the very moment when a huge, rocky peak with a silvery density comes into view Its shape is suggestive of a great milky flint, coarsely sculpted by the winds. I consult my watch. The sun has already been up for twenty minutes. “Been up” means it slips onto the level of the horizon, invisible behind the peaks, before disappearing for a night more than twenty hours in duration.
As with all mountains, the summit seems to recede as one draws closer. My progress is engulfed in a time that pushes me back and slows me down, like the hard snow on which I slither about. The eighth explosion is followed almost immediately by the ninth, just as if it were its echo. And the summit is still monolithic in form. Perhaps, after all, it is not the Trident. I look about me: there are three or four other peaks all towering up in much the same location. The echo of the tenth explosion catches up with me, already a dull, matte sound that gives a measure of the distance it has traveled. The sun, invisibly, has been in the sky for three- quarters of an hour. I lengthen my stride, try to run, and fall. The snowy ground I push against to raise myself has the dry roughness of emery.
Suddenly, narrow blades of light slice into the summit. Its surface, which seemed flat, molds itself into facets, slopes, grooves where deep violet shadows slumber. The sun has burst through some hidden crevice, an aperture that brings this brief luminous vision to life. The next explosive charge detonates a very long way off. The sequence of reverberations is longer than before. The eleventh? Or already the twelfth, the last one? I do not know anymore if I have counted correctly. I remember the pilots words: “We won’t wait for you. Otherwise I’ll be hacking all this loose rock to pieces in the dark with my propeller.” I begin to run, my eyes on the summit, slip several times, the ground is no longer firm, the wind drives long ribbons of spindrift before it. At every step, however, the change is perceptible. The rays of light grow broader, break up the summit, dividing the mountain into three immense crystals. This looks less like a trident than a bird’s broken wing. I stumble into a slope, stop, my breathing flayed raw by the cold. The grayish mass of a glacier bars the way. I study the three illuminated sections of the mountain: the rock is barely whitened with frost, the snow, rare in these lands with dry winters, fails to cling to the smooth walls. Vertical buttresses, ravines, high cols where frozen snow accumulates, scarcely reshaped by the millennia. And the rays of light already beginning to fade. Nothing else. Nothing . . .
Suddenly I see the cross formed by the aircraft.
Two dark crossed lines against the pale suede of the frost. They are not in the triangles of sunlight on the summit but much lower down, near the base of the massif. The silhouette of the aircraft is easily recognizable; it is not a plane that has broken up in a crash, but one that, in attempting to land, has become embedded in the rock and has remained there, welded to this mountain, to this Arctic wasteland, its nights without end.
No thought speaks within me. No emotion. Not even joy at having achieved the goal. Only the certainty of experiencing the essence of what I had to understand.
The suns breakthrough is weaker now. But the aircraft is still visible. I can even see the gleam of the cockpit. Beneath its glass a glimmer of life can be sensed. A silent life, focused on a past, of which soon nothing more will remain on this earth. The life that our words, clumsily, sometimes refer to as death, sometimes oblivion, sometimes the memory of men.
Then the phrase uttered by that tall old man comes to my mind, as he tried to speak of this life and the distance that separates us from it. “. . . They can look up to the Heavens without turning pale and upon the Earth without blushing.” In a past, long dreamed of and suddenly present, a pilot leaps from his cockpit and stands beside the aircraft, one hand resting on the edge of a wing. I am infinitely close to his silence, I sense the focus of the gaze he directs at the Earth. An old wooden house, lost in the midst of the steppes, a night of war, a woman’s slow words, the first ripples of a summer storm, a brief love, whose infinite duration trickles away in a cascade of beads from a broken necklace . . .
The reverberation from the explosion is a long one and from its echoes arises a prolonged, billowing vibration that becomes increasingly limpid. A resonance that goes on refining itself until it seems to be ringing out beyond our lives, in a distant place, of which this Arctic day is but an ephemeral reflection. Here the echo’s notes are fading away, obliterated beneath the hiss of the frost needles the wind sweeps across the ground. But over there the man standing beside his aircraft hears them still. A long farewell song, a song of light.
The ray of sunlight has been gone for a moment now, the cross of the aircraft fades in the swiftly advancing pallor of the night. Snow squalls start to blur the outline of the mountains. I shall not be able to see the rock outcrops noted as landmarks on my outward journey. Yet the vibration of the last echo still seems to survive among the summits. A subtle resonance that resists the wind. I sense its vibrations deep within me.
Quite simply, what I must do to find my way back is make sure I keep hearing it.
The Earth and Sky of Jacques Dorme Page 15
