by Helen Juliet
Some of the locals had given him a wide birth before thanks to his stature. He wondered now as they passed through the tiny town once more if they would be even more wary if they knew he and Riley were queer.
Sod them if they did, Kai was practically delirious with joy.
Although he’d remained optimistic as he’d chased down Riley after their misunderstanding, he hadn’t been wholly confident of a positive outcome. Rather than Riley being put off by Kai’s slightly rough-around-the-edges appearance though, he’d confessed how long he’d had a crush on him for, and then…
Kai repressed a shiver as he relived the sight of Riley’s lovely naked body. He could already tell they were going to be very compatible in bed and his skin sang at the prospect. There was a part of him that kept waiting for the fact that Riley was a dude to freak him out, but so far, it hadn’t hit.
It didn’t hurt that since being allowed to touch, Riley made no secret of how attractive he found Kai. Having worried he was put off by his size he found the opposite was actually true. Riley loved feeling small in his arms, and Kai was happy to oblige.
When he had arrived in Seathwait two days before, the locals had made Kai very aware of his bulk and many tattoos, like he might pose a threat to them. But now, with Riley by his side, he was comfortable and cheery as he said his hellos and tipped the rim of his baseball cap. Maybe he was imagining it, but he wondered if more people smiled back at him this time around.
Riley made him feel better about himself, he realised. It was just one of these reasons that after they’d got the tricky business of talking to his family out of the way, he was planning on having a proper go at a relationship together if that’s what Riley wanted. He hoped so. Kai could feel how attached he was getting to him already.
Brendon had always been a sort of brother to him though, and by extension, his family had always treated Kai as one of their own. How uncomfortable were they going to be with the idea of Riley and him now being together? Would it be too much to take?
Kai had made it clear to Riley on the walk down that he’d be feeling exactly the same way if he was Brendon’s sister. They had to admit it was a bit odd, and came close to crossing a line, regardless of the gay thing. Yes, they were two single adults and in theory could do whatever they hell they liked. But in practice, that might be easier said than done.
What if Bev thought this was just an experiment on Kai’s part too, and she protested at him fooling around with her son? What if Phil didn’t think Kai was good enough for his boy? What if Brendon just thought it was gross and disapproved.
The bottom line was, Kai knew his own mind. He was falling for Riley at an alarming rate. He was certain he’d do everything he could to give them a shot at being together. He didn’t necessarily need the Andersons’ blessing to do that, but it would be extremely nice to have it anyway.
And then there was his own family. Riley had told him that he’d be willing to cool things between them until Kai had a chance to talk to his mum. But he wasn’t sure he’d be able to resist temptation for that long. Not with Riley sleeping ten feet away from him for the next five nights. He could always tell her over the phone, but that didn’t feel quite right. This was his coming out. He was excited as he was terrified, but either way, it felt like something he wanted to do in person.
He could bring Riley to meet her, he thought with a thrill. He’d bought a few girlfriends home over the years, but obviously this would be different.
He understood Riley had a different take on his sexuality. It was more evident he was gay simply by the way he moved and talked. He had a gentleness to him that betrayed his nature whether he chose to divulge that information or not. His being gay had dictated the way society treated him for most of his life.
Kai wasn’t like that. He knew, if he wanted, he could hide this part of him away and carry on appearing straight if he so chose. But that seemed to spur him on more, if anything, to be totally open about being with Riley. He felt like a missing puzzle piece had fallen into place in understanding who he was, and no matter what some people might think of him, he wasn’t ashamed. He was proud. Those big parades people had made a bit more sense to him now.
To him, fancying Riley felt little different to fancying Jessica or Scarlett or any of the other girls he’d been with since he was fourteen. The fact that some people – a lot of people – would deem their relationship as something wrong or unnatural only made him want to celebrate it more.
It was this determined attitude that propelled him up the path back into Turner Hall camp, where Riley’s family would be waiting for them. “Are you ready?” he asked Riley, just before they went through the opening in the cobblestone wall.
Riley chewed his lip and nodded. “I’ll follow your lead.”
A quick glance around told Kai they were alone at just that moment, so he leant over and pecked Riley on the lips, much to his surprise. Bia barked up excitably at them, like she was aware of what they were about to do, and both of them laughed at her.
“Bia says to go for it,” said Riley shyly.
Kai squeezed his hand briefly. “I agree.”
Riley seemed to know how to walk that little bit further apart as they crossed the threshold. His hands were kept carefully to himself, and he looked ahead rather than glancing over at Kai. He was practiced at concealing his feelings, and that pissed Kai off somewhat. He didn’t like that he felt he had to protect himself by not giving himself away. The sooner this was all out in the open, the better.
The fact he’d be doing this for Riley gave Kai courage. Which was a good job, because as soon as their camp site came into view, his knees felt unexpectedly like bags of water.
Jake spotted them first. “They’re back!” he bellowed as they trudged up the path into camp, like weary returning heroes. He dropped the Frisbee he’d been chucking around with Brendon and pelted over towards Riley and Kai. “How are your feet, Riley? They looked reallydisgusting.”
Riley laughed and pulled him to his side for a hug. “Missed you too, buddy,” he said fondly. “They’re fine, I had Kai to look after me.”
He risked a small glance his way, which warmed Kai’s chest. He was a caregiver by nature, and as much as he’d been distressed at Riley’s pain, he couldn’t deny the satisfaction he’d felt by tending to his ailments.
He was also reminded of the protective rage he’d felt at hearing his story about Daryl bloody Grinter. Kai’s gaze automatically swept the campsite to see if he was around. Thankfully, he and his sister were nowhere to be seen, so they didn’t have to deal with that just yet. Kai wanted to come clean with Riley’s family before even considering what Daryl had done to him four years ago.
He would do his best to honour Riley’s wishes not to bring it up again. However, when he remembered how the twins had been tormenting him on the first day, he got a sort of red mist in front of his eyes. The thought of Daryl being with Riley, not caring for him and then making him feel cheap afterwards brought the Neanderthal out in Kai.
Anything related to the Grinters though would have to wait though, as someone far more pleasant was upon them.
Brendon had followed Jake over to greet their brother with a hug. “Have to be dramatic, don’t you?” he teased, making Riley look bashful.
“Oi,” he said. “Be nice to me. I’m wounded.”
Brendon shook his head, ruffling Riley’s hair fondly. “Pillock. You’re lucky Kai knows what he’s doing.”
“Actually, Riley did great,” said Kai quickly. He slipped his pack off and rubbed his tired shoulders. “We wouldn’t have had any food if it weren’t for him.”
Brendon raised his eyebrows and looked at his brother. “I take it back,” he said gravely. “You’re the real hero here. No one would have survived if Brandt hadn’t been fed.”
Kai walloped him, so naturally Brendon wrestled him around the waist until they both tumbled to the ground. “Oh get off me, you dickhead,” said Kai breathlessly. “We’re knackered, an
d I need to sort my shit out and have a shower.”
“Yeah, you do, you stink,” Brendon said. He stuck out his hand to help Kai back to his feet, but he’d momentarily frozen. Could Brendon smell the sex on him? Oh fuck! He could probably tell he’d defiled his little brother and-
And he was obviously joking. Kai forced himself to laugh and take his outstretched hand. For the sake of his sanity, he was going to need to get this talk out of the way sooner rather than later.
“Hey, you want to give me a hand?” He shrugged his shoulders, hoping he affected nonchalance. There was no reason he couldn’t unpack a single bag by himself.
But Brendon was as easygoing as ever and didn’t blink at the invitation. “Sure.” He picked up Kai’s discarded bag and nodded at his brothers. “Catch you guys later, yeah?”
“No worries,” said Jake.
Kai caught Riley’s gaze and lifted his eyebrows just a fraction, hinting at what he was planning on doing. Riley gave him a small, single nod, which Kai reciprocated.
Right then, he thought. Here we go.
34
Riley
Riley tried not to be apprehensive as he watched Kai and Brendon walk off together. He was almost certain his brother would be totally fine with Kai being pan – he’d never been anything but supportive of Riley being gay after all.
But with them dating each other? Yeah, that was a tricky one.
Jake soon drew his attention away again as he was rolling around on the ground encouraging Bia to snuffle his ears. “No, stop!” he squealed, but even Bia could work out he didn’t mean it.
“Hey,” said Riley. “So, where’s everyone else?” He was surprised how quiet their side of the camp site was. There wasn’t anyone else in sight at the moment.
“Mum and Dad went for a walk,” said Jake, sitting up. Bia flopped onto her belly and looked like she might fall asleep there and then. “Slady’s having a shower, Sheena went to take a nap, and I think her mum’s cooking stuff for dinner tonight. Mr and Mrs Grinter are hanging out in their big van. Um…” He looked around at the other tents. “Mr and Mrs Sidcup went to that pub – do you know there’s a pub? The lady at the desk said it’s nice and they do really good chips so I’d like to go there too. And I don’t know where the twins are.”
“Good report,” Riley said, giving him a salute.
Nerves squirmed in his belly like writhing snakes. But if Kai was talking to Brendon, then this was the ideal chance for Riley to have a chat with his other brother too.
“Um,” he said as he headed back to his tent. Kai and Brendon had disappeared into Kai’s and Riley tried not to worry about how they were doing. “Have you got a minute?”
“Sure,” said Jake. They’d left Bia where she was to snooze. She would come over to them once she woke up, no doubt. “Are you alright?” Jake asked. “Is it your feet? Are they hurting?”
Riley felt a surge of affection towards his brother. “They’re alright,” he said truthfully. He dropped gratefully into one of the patio chairs and groaned. “Although I’m keen to get my boots back off.”
Jake sat and patiently watched him slowly free his feet once more, exposing them to the fresh air with a sigh. Then Riley dug a warm bottle of water out of his bag, and he figured he’d procrastinated enough.
“Can I tell you something no one else knows?”
Jake’s eyes widened. He pulled his tongue between his teeth and frowned. “Like…a secret?”
“For now,” said Riley. “Hopefully not for long. I was wondering if I could get your advice.”
Christ, he felt sick. He debated whether a beer might help, but then he decided against it. Jake nodded, so he carried on.
“Um, so you know how I’m gay. That I like guys instead of girls.”
“In a romantic way,” said Jake nodding. “Yeah, yeah I know that, Riley.”
“Well-” This was harder than he thought. He decided to get it out in one breath. “There’s someone that I really like, that might be my boyfriend. But I want you and Brendon and Mum and Dad to be okay with it.”
Jake frowned again. “But if you like him, Riley, and, well, and if he likes you, then that’s that isn’t it? It’s your choice.”
Riley glanced at Kai’s tent. They hadn’t emerged yet, but no one had started shouting either.
“It’s Kai,” he said, his voice threatening to break.
He couldn’t look at his brother. Instead, he focused on his trembling hands. It would have been easier, he was sure, if he’d just started dating a total stranger and brought him home. No one would have any preconceptions. But he didn’t want a stranger. He wanted Kai.
“Oh,” said Jake brightly. “Oh really?”
Riley nodded, risking taking a peek.
Jake smiled at him. “So he likes you back?”
“Yeah,” said Riley slowly. “You, um, don’t seem all that surprised.”
Jake laughed and slapped his knee, making Riley jump where he was wound so tightly. “Mum said you’ve fancied him for years,” he cried in delight.
“Fancied who?”
Riley spun, his heart thumping. Of course his parents had chosen that moment to return behind him. He glared at Jake, wondering if he’d done that on purpose, or if he genuinely hadn’t seen them coming from in between the tents.
But Jake didn’t seem to notice his expression. He just glanced at their parents, then nodded enthusiastically with a thumbs-up.
Riley’s mum and dad each took a seat around the colourful table, looking at him quizzically. His dad took his glasses off to clean them on his shirt while his mum bent over to inspect Riley’s tattered feet.
“Oh sweetheart,” she said. “What did you do to yourself? How are they feeling?”
“Um, fine,” said Riley awkwardly. Jake had his eyebrows raised and was staring at him purposefully.
He seemed to think this would be okay, or so Riley could gather. Again, he looked over at Kai’s tent, but there was still no movement. He wished he knew if Kai had told Brendon yet, and if so how he was taking it.
This was a mistake, they should tell people together. Or not at all. Why was Riley putting Kai through this? It wasn’t his business to out him. What if he’d chickened out and then Riley went and put his foot in it with his parents? He should wait. Jake could keep a secret, he wouldn’t –
“Riley’s got a boyfriend and he’s worried you won’t like him.”
“Jake!” he cried in horror.
His brother threw his hands in the air. “What? You were taking too long.”
“He’s not a boyfriend,” Riley said quickly to his parents. “Not yet, I mean, I don’t know, we’re not sure yet. I shouldn’t say anything, just forget it.”
His heart was racing and he felt slightly dizzy.
“Riley,” his dad said in concern, slipping his glasses back on. “It’s okay. You don’t need to fret. That’s great if you’ve met someone special.”
His mum reached over and took his hand between her dry ones. They were always cracked from too much gardening. “Darling, is it – if I make a guess as to who it is, and it’s wrong, will you mind?”
A guess? Riley glanced at Jake. What had he said before? He shook his head.
“Is it Kai?”
Riley slowly pulled his hand free so he could grip his other one with it. “Yes,” he said quietly. “I told him we didn’t have to say anything,” he added, the words tumbling out. “It’s all very new for him, but he wanted to, he was really sweet, but I know it’s weird and I don’t want you guys to think he’s taking advantage of me or anything.”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” his dad said, holding his hand up. “You and Kai are…together?” He looked worried, which made Riley’s heart sink.
“We’d like to try,” he said.
“That’s awesome!” said Jake, raising his hand for a high five, but Riley couldn’t bring himself to meet it. Instead, he looked back at his parents. “Isn’t it?” asked Jake in a smaller voice.
Riley nodded. “I know, but, he says he likes boys too. Uh, at least, he likes me.”
His mum’s expression softened. “Well,” she said, glancing at his dad. “I suppose, as long as he treats you nicely.”
“Hang on,” said his dad. “You and Kai. Our Kai. Are you sure?”
Riley swallowed. “I know it’s weird,” he said. He could feel his eyes getting prickly. It was bad enough confessing his long time crush out loud; he’d hoped his family would never find out. But now he needed to know if they would approve of them dating – or even just giving dating a go.
His dad crossed his arms and looked between him, his mum and his brother. His mum chewed her lip.
But Jake pulled a face. “What’s the big deal? I don’t get it?”
His dad rubbed his chin. “It’s just,” he said hesitantly. “We’ve known Kai since he was eleven.”
“So?” Jake demanded. “He’s really cool. I bet he’ll make a great boyfriend, won’t he, Riley?”
He nudged Riley in the ribs, catching him by surprise. Riley couldn’t help the little grin that slipped out. “Uh, yeah, I think so.”
“We just want you to be happy,” said his mum earnestly.
“Oh, yes,” said his dad quickly. “Yes, and you’re right,, Jake. Kai’s a lovely young man. I guess it’s just a bit of a surprise.”
His mum gave a little tsk, but she didn’t say anything to him. Riley was stunned; she’d obviously had her suspicions before “Where’s he now?” she asked.
“Talking to Brendon,” said Riley.
“Oh,” his dad said, turning to look where Riley was staring at Kai’s tent. “Oh, well, I’m sure that’ll be fine.”
“Hmm,” said Riley, not able to take his eyes off it just yet.
“Well, as long as you’re being safe.”
