Sister's Forgiveness

by Anna Schmidt

  They rode in silence with Sadie scanning the side streets hoping for a glimpse of Matt or his bike. When they reached the park, her father stopped the car and got out. “Let’s see if there’s any sign of him or if there’s anyone around who might have seen him,” her dad said.

  “I can search that area,” Sadie volunteered as she started off across toward the tennis courts.

  “Nein! No Sadie, I nearly lost you once, and now your brother is missing. I need to know where you are. We’ll do this together.”

  It amazed Sadie how these simple words touched her. A knot she’d carried in the center of her chest for weeks—a knot of her own making because she was so sure that no one in her family would ever be able to love her again the way they had before. She slipped her hand into her father’s and walked with him.

  After they’d searched for several minutes without seeing anyone, Sadie caught a flash of color. “Dad, over there?” she whispered excitedly.

  Her father followed her pointing finger then started striding quickly toward the lone figure bent over a picnic table, his back to them. Sadie had to practically run to keep up with him.

  “Hello,” Lars called out.

  The boy turned and quickly gathered whatever had been on the table and stuffed it into his pockets. Then he leaned back against the edge of the table nonchalantly and watched them come. “I’m not doing anything wrong, mister,” he said with a sullen frown when they were close enough to see his features.

  “I did not accuse you,” Sadie’s dad replied. “I am looking for my son, and I have reason to believe that he might have come here to this park. Have you been here for some time?”

  The boy cocked an eyebrow as he studied their plain dress. “This kid—he’s one of your kind?”

  “He’s my son,” her dad repeated. “Have you seen him?”

  “Maybe.” The boy took a sudden interest in a tree branch hanging over the table. “What’s in it for me?”

  To Sadie’s surprise, her father actually smiled.

  “Are you asking to be paid for information that you may or may not have?”

  The boy shrugged. “Kid’s about my height but younger? He’s got hair like yours only not as white but still cut in that dorky way? Rides a bike that’s like a bazillion years old? That kid?”

  Sadie felt her heart begin to hammer. “Yes,” she said, “that kid.” Her father squeezed her hand, silencing her.

  “All right,” her father said, keeping his voice calm as if he and the boy were negotiating a price for a piece of his furniture. “It appears that you know my son. Did you also know that he is missing?”

  “He’s not missing. I just saw him.”

  “Ah. So he was here.”

  The boy let out a sigh of pure exasperation. “Didn’t I just say that?”

  “Where is he? Where did he go?” Sadie demanded, unable to keep still a minute longer. It pleased her to see the boy sit up a little straighter.

  “I don’t know to both questions. He owed me some money. He paid up and then took off.” He stood up. “I gotta go. I got business.”

  “Which way was he headed?” Sadie asked and noticed that her father seemed to have accepted that the boy was more likely to answer her questions.

  The boy pointed toward the tennis courts.

  “How long ago?”

  “Do I look like I own a watch?”

  “Thank you for your help,” Sadie’s dad said and then steered her in the direction the boy had indicated. When she glanced back over her shoulder, the boy was gone.

  The tennis courts were deserted as was the area around the community auditorium. Her dad checked every nook and cranny of their surroundings. She also noticed how with every passing minute he seemed to lose hope.

  “We’ll find him, Dad,” she said and prayed that she was right.

  Chapter 45

  Geoff

  It was good to be home. Even though he hadn’t been moved out for more than one night and the day that followed, it felt like weeks. Of course, he and Jeannie had been heading in different directions ever since Tessa’s funeral. But now this house seemed more like the home they had established when he and Jeannie had first married. In his short absence, Jeannie had gone through the house packing up a lot of the things that served only to remind him of all their debt. She continued to dress in the plain clothes of her youth, and he found that somehow comforting.

  He was even beginning to consider the wisdom of accepting the money members of their church—and Emma’s—had raised to help pay off the hospital bill. Jeannie had made a good argument for that. How many times over the years they’d been married had they done the same for those in need and never once thought about it?

  Pride goeth before a fall, he thought. He had allowed his pride to keep him from accepting the kindness of his neighbors and friends. He fingered the large brown envelope where Jeannie had placed all of the cash and checks people had left for them. “I’m going to stop by the hospital and set up a plan for paying that bill off,” he called up the stairs where he could hear Jeannie doing more cleaning.

  She ran to the head of the stairs and looked down at him. He was still not yet used to seeing her face cleansed of makeup, but he liked it. She looked younger, more like the girl he’d fallen in love with sixteen years earlier. Somehow it made him think that it might actually be possible for them to start over.

  He smiled up at her. “Love you,” he said, and she grinned.

  “Me, too.”

  When they’d been courting, he had teased her about that answer. “I know you love you, too,” he’d said, “but what about loving me?”

  She had always thrown her arms around his neck and kissed him. He actually considered giving her their trademark banter now, but he wouldn’t have her run all the way down the stairs just to kiss him. “How about we go out for supper?” he said.

  “We haven’t done that since…”

  “I know. It’ll do us both good.”

  “Okay.” She lingered at the top of the stairs. “See you,” she said.

  “Love you,” he replied as he picked up his keys.

  By four he had finished his meeting with the billing person at the hospital, turning over the funds to her and setting up a payment plan for the rest. As he drove home, he tried without success to suppress the lingering remnants of his anger at Sadie, the urge to force her to earn the money they owed. From everything that Jeannie had told him, Sadie was going to get off pretty easy, and this whole contract business did not begin to make up for all the harm done by Sadie’s reckless behavior.

  “You have to know that coming home doesn’t mean that I can forgive and forget,” he’d warned Jeannie the night before as they lay together.

  “I know.” She waited a beat and then added, “And you have to understand that they are my family, Geoff, and I can no more turn my back on them than I could on you.”

  He had been surprised at that. In the past, Jeannie had always been so eager to please him and everyone around her. Suddenly she was thinking of her needs, and he found that he liked that even if meeting her needs meant going against him.

  “So, that’s the contract between you and me?”

  “No, Geoff, that’s us accepting that we have to do some of this alone even as we get through most of it together.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” he’d murmured as he pulled her closer. “And who knows… in time…” It was, he realized, the first time that he had allowed himself even to consider the idea that there might come a day when he could forgive Sadie.

  And then there she was—Sadie. She was standing at the kitchen door, gesturing wildly as she talked to Jeannie. He got out of the car prepared to defend his wife from whatever tirade Sadie was having.

  “It’s Matt,” Jeannie said as soon as she saw him. “He’s run away.”

  Before he knew what hit him, Sadie had rushed forward and was clinging to his arm. “Please, Uncle Geoff,” she sobbed. “I know you hate me, and you have every
reason to, but this is Mattie—please.…”

  “How long’s he been gone?” Geoff asked Jeannie.

  “When they got home from court yesterday afternoon, he was gone. Lars and Sadie talked to a boy in Payne Park who knows him and had seen him, but there was no sign of him.”

  “Payne Park?”

  Sadie was still clutching his sleeve. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to put his hand on hers.

  “We think he’s been going there to meet some kids from town to play cards,” Sadie told him. She talked about papers she’d found about playing poker and then a map they had used to try to find him.

  “Why didn’t Emma call yesterday?” Jeannie asked. She sounded a little hurt.

  “You know Dad. He wanted to try to find him—just us—but now he’s been gone all night and all day and there’s no sign of him anywhere. It’s like he’s just disappeared, and it’s all my fault.”

  “Stop that right now,” Geoff ordered. “We have to think. Where are your folks?”

  “Dad and Pastor Detlef and some men from the church have been out all day searching. Mom’s been waiting by the phone in case he calls or something.”

  Jeannie looked at Geoff. “Maybe Zeke could help. He knows people who hang around that park.”

  Geoff nodded. “Sadie, I want you and Jeannie to go back to your house and stay with your mom. She needs you both right now. I’ll go find Zeke and see if he has any ideas.”

  “Please find him, Uncle Geoff,” Sadie pleaded.

  He hesitated, seeing in her uplifted face the child who had been like a sister to Tessa, the child who along with her brother had been in his house almost as much as Tessa had, the child who had in one flash of irresponsibility so typical of young people her age changed all their lives forever.

  “Geoff?” Jeannie was next to him, her hand on his shoulder, her face close to his. A worried frown creased her forehead.

  He patted Sadie’s hand and spoke directly to her, “I’ll do my best. You go on home now. Your folks need you.”

  On the strength of the radiant smile that Jeannie had given him as he got back in his car and drove to the marina, Geoff rid himself of the last of his fury at everything and everyone surrounding Tessa’s death. It felt good to focus on someone else’s need besides his own for a change.

  He found Zeke exactly where he thought he might find him, downtown near the marina talking to friends.

  “Alone in a park overnight?” one of Zeke’s friends said shaking his head. “Must be one scared boy by now.”

  “Lars and Sadie searched the park yesterday and talked to a kid that said he’d seen Matt, but then that kid disappeared. They didn’t get a name.”

  “Come on,” Zeke said, and when Geoff followed him without question, he noticed that the group of other homeless people were also coming with them. It struck Geoff that they must have made an odd picture walking up Main Street together—Geoff still in the business clothes he’d worn to make a good impression on the hospital billing clerk, and the rest in the scruffy clothing that probably constituted their entire wardrobes.

  They reached the library and went inside. There the others spread out, some heading upstairs while others canvassed street people who spent their days there reading. He followed Zeke and was surprised when his friend left by the second doorway and walked quickly across town until he reached the park.

  “I like to travel light. The others mean well, but too many people will scare the kid off.”

  “You know where Matt is?” Geoff couldn’t believe that Zeke might actually have an idea where to find his nephew.

  “The other kid. His name’s Duke—or that’s his street name. Hangs out here with a couple of other boys. My guess is that if Matt got caught up in playing cards, these were the guys he was playing with. It’s a place to start.”

  Geoff nodded. “So, what now?”

  “We wait,” Zeke said as he slid to a sitting position against the side of a building.

  The sun was setting when Zeke nudged Geoff and nodded toward a figure sauntering toward them. “Duke,” he called out, getting to his feet. “What’s happening?”

  The kid couldn’t be more than thirteen. He was thin and skittish.

  “Hey, Zeke,” he said even as he eyed Geoff suspiciously.

  “I understand you’ve found a new player.”

  The kid shrugged. “Found and lost.”

  “Meaning?”

  “He played most every night for a couple of weeks, lost some money and won some, and then yesterday he finds me here and gives me all of it—the whole enchilada—three times what he owed me.” Duke shook his head. “I don’t get that.”

  I just bet you don’t, Geoff thought and shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from yelling at the kid to tell them where Matt was.

  “You see this guy around?” Zeke asked, looking off toward the park entrance as if it didn’t matter to him one way or another.

  “I told you. He was here yesterday. Oh yeah, and then this man and a girl came looking for him. After they searched everywhere except the right place, I told him he’d best get home.”

  Geoff thought he might have to beg God’s forgiveness for strangling the boy.

  “But that didn’t happen,” Zeke said, still in a tone he’d use to discuss the weather forecast.

  “Yeah, I know. He hung around last night with us. Wouldn’t get in the game though. Said he was done with card playing. Too bad. He was good.”

  “And then?” Geoff could no longer hold his tongue.

  Duke glanced at him. “He went off with Tony.”

  “Tony who?”

  Duke glanced at Zeke. “You know, the black kid. Tony.”

  Zeke nodded. “Thanks, little dude.” He fumbled in the pocket of his too-small cargo pants and tossed the kid a coin. “All I can spare.”

  Duke grinned as he took off. “No worries, man. It’ll grow.”

  To Geoff’s surprise, Zeke sat back down.

  “You know this boy, Tony?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well? Shouldn’t we do something about finding him?”

  “We are. We wait right here, and he’ll find us.”

  Sure enough, shortly after the park streetlamps came on, Geoff saw a small African-American boy coming toward them. And with him was Matt. The two of them were deep in conversation and didn’t seem to see Zeke or Geoff. Geoff was on his feet at once, but Zeke held him back. “Don’t startle him,” he warned. “Just let them settle in.”

  He’s not a wild horse, Geoff thought, annoyed with any further delay in getting Matt safely home. But he did as Zeke coached.

  Moments later, three other boys appeared, including Duke who glanced their way but said nothing as all the boys took places around a picnic table, some straddling the bench seats, others kneeling on them. Geoff saw that Matt stood quietly at one end of the table, watching the card game intently.

  “Now,” Zeke whispered. “Follow my lead or you’re gonna blow this thing.”

  “Yeah, like I don’t know how to deal with a bunch of junior high…”

  Zeke ignored him and started across the park.

  “Matt Keller, is that you?” Zeke asked, his voice friendly in a surprised-but-glad-to-see-you way.

  Matt looked up but didn’t take off.

  “Hi, Mr. Shepherd,” he muttered.

  “Mr. Shepherd?” Duke crowed. “I didn’t even know you had a last name.”

  “Just like you, Dwight Buginski.”

  The other boys howled with laughter and started in on Duke, teasing him about his name. At the same time, Zeke motioned for Geoff to move closer to one side of Matt while he did the same on the other, just in case Matt decided to run.

  Geoff placed a gentle hand on Matt’s shoulder. “Hello, Matt,” he said and felt Matt jerk, so he held on tighter. “How about you and me go get some pizza and talk? It’s been awhile—too long.”

  He watched as Matt struggled with wanting desperately to go with him
and at the same time being afraid to be hurt again. “It’s over, Matt. If you’re willing to forgive me, I’d like to make things right with you.”

  Matt picked up his backpack and shouldered it the way Tessa had that morning. “I’d like that,” he said warily. “You mean it?”

  “I mean it.” Geoff nodded to Zeke, who took a place at the picnic table with the rest of the boys and dealt the cards. The other boys didn’t seem to notice when Matt and Geoff walked away. But then Duke was there. “Here,” he said, handing Matt a couple of crumpled dollar bills. “You paid too much.”

  “I don’t want it.” Matt pushed the money back at him.

  “Too bad, dude. Take it or leave it. I really don’t care.” He turned his back on Matt and headed back to the game.

  Matt stared at the money.

  “Hard to know what to do with that, huh?” Geoff said.

  “I won it playing cards,” Matt told him. “Gambling is a sin. What should I do?”

  “Maybe give it to charity?”

  “I could do that.”

  Geoff wrapped his arm around Matt’s shoulders. “First, we need to call your folks and let them know you’re with me. Then, I am seriously starving, and I need to run an idea for a new play by you to see if you get it.”

  Matt walked with renewed confidence. “I’ll get it. Question is will the rest of the players get it?”

  Geoff laughed and again realized that the weight of all those hours of anger and self-pity had suddenly evaporated. It felt good to laugh again, to be with Matt again, to be living again. It occurred to him that Tessa would be pleased, and that made him realize that he’d spent so much of these last weeks thinking about his feelings, his needs, his pain that he had barely thought about how Tessa might see all of this.

  “Seriously, Matt, you need to think about being there for Sadie now. I mean, think about it. She still has to face going back to school, and she’s going to need somebody who understands how tough it can be facing those other kids.”

  “Maybe,” Matt said. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” The thought clearly lifted his spirits. “But first could we go for that pizza? I am…”

  “…seriously starving,” Geoff said in unison with him.