by Sammi Cee
“Now!” she admonishes me in a tone I’ve never heard from her before, low but deadly.
Right as they round the corner into the dining room, Bobby, Sean, and I all rise.
“You’re here,” Shayna says in a cheery voice.
“Hi, guys. Meet Jeannie,” says Eli.
His hand is resting gently at the small of her back, but he’s standing where he can’t see the look of disdain on her face as she glances around my home. Ugh. I don’t like this woman at all.
“Jeannie, it’s such a pleasure. I’m Bobby, we weren’t formally introduced the night you met Eli,” Bobby says as he moves forward to shake her hand. I watch her stretch hers out with the back up, like she’s waiting for him to kiss it. I barely stifle my laugh when he does exactly that. Obviously anticipating my reaction, Shayna subtly jabs me in the side.
However, Jeannie ruins it for herself with Shayna when she responds to Bobby. “That’s because I wasn’t there to meet you, was I? I met the only one at the table who matters.” We all stop and stare, realizing her faux pas, she turns a stunning smile onto Eli.
My worst fears about tonight are already realized, this lady—and I use that term lightly—is a total bitch. However, Eli looking uncomfortable and like he wants to disappear in his own home is enough to shake me into motion and be nice to the vile woman. As if sensing my thoughts, Shayna speaks first, “Aww… Jeannie. That’s so sweet. Of course, he was the only one you wanted to meet. I totally understand.”
If looks could kill, my precious-girl would have blown up on the spot. Jeannie’s eyes sweep her length unapprovingly before she turns to Sean. “Well, Sean, it’s good to see you, at least.” At least, is this lady kidding me right now? “I always look so forward to your shows. It’s unusual for you to have a weekend off, isn’t it?” Even her voice is grating on my nerves at this point. How in the hell is Eli dating her? But he’s right, from everything he’s told me about his family, this is the type of woman they would want for him.
Sean, ever a gentleman, replies, “Hello. It’s nice to see you as well. You and your friends do attend a number of my shows, so I’m surprised you haven’t met my boyfriend, yet. He’s almost always one of the bartender when I do a show. And I’m sure you realized I wasn’t playing tonight, you and your friends always check my schedule.”
“Oh, I did. Not that we would have been in attendance anyway. We have a special charity event at the club tonight. I’m just surprised with an actual night off that you’d choose to spend it here. Or wait, you’re…um…dressed up, I guess.” Her eyes sweep up and down Bobby. “I guess you guys have plans from here.”
Shayna had stiffened beside me at Jeannie’s disparaging perusal of her, but now she’s apparently had enough with her contempt of Bobby, she excuses herself to go finish gathering dinner. As host, it occurs to me that I need to open my mouth and say something, but I’m torn between greeting our guest and rushing to make sure Shayna is okay.
Sean says, “No, my boyfriend just likes to dress up sometimes. It’s nice when he doesn’t have to work behind the bar and can go all out.”
Bobby pipes in immediately, “Yes, and since I knew you were gonna make poor Eli be all dressed up at his own home for a family dinner, I figured I’d dress up, too, so he doesn’t feel out of place. You know, in his own home, dressed up, for dinner.”
Bobby’s snotty tone rivals Jeannie’s. Since I know Shayna worked hard on a nice dinner and probably wouldn’t appreciate a cat fight before her meal is served, I finally step in, “Hi Jeannie, I’m Cooper. It’s nice to meet you.” As I walk over to properly shake her hand—because there will be no kissing of her hand from me—I pass Eli moving toward the kitchen.
“Excuse me. Jeannie, I’ll get you a drink while I see if Shay needs any help bringing dinner out.”
Trusting me with a guest of his under normal circumstances would be a safe bet, but I’m not sure he thought this one through. I really don’t like this lady. As expected, her handshake is as limp as her personality. How am I gonna get through this night?
Eli
“Shay, I’m so, so, so sorry,” I say as soon as I’m in the kitchen.
Turning away from where she’s leaning onto the sink, Shay turns around and walks toward me with a big smile on her face, a big fake smile that is.
“It’s okay, lovey. No big deal. She probably just feels uncomfortable. You all walked in to the guys laughing and talking, and she feels awkward, I’m sure. No worries.” She moves in to give me a hug, and I can’t help myself but to hold her for a minute. Shay always smells like lavender and vanilla, and if I’m being honest with myself, her scent is becoming the one I associate with comfort.
“Shay…thank you.” I pull back from her. I don’t want to argue with her because really, it doesn’t help her to point out my girlfriend is being a nasty to everyone. “What can I do to help? What can I bring in?”
“Nothing, lovey. Get Jeannie whatever she’d like to drink and go back in with her. I’ll get everything together. No problem.”
This sucks, knowing that I won’t be able to stay after dinner and help her clean up, so the least I can do is help her now.
“Eli, really, I know you feel bad for not helping me, but I’m happy to do this. We missed you the last couple weeks. Go ahead in there, and I’ll be right out with the food.”
It’s amazing how she always knows what I’m thinking, but still hesitating on what to do, I feel a squeeze on my shoulder and turn to find Bobby. “Go ahead in with your lady friend, Eli. I’ll help Shayna-girl with dinner.”
Nodding, I turn and grab the open bottle of wine on the counter. Shayna and Bobby already have their heads together by the time I go to leave the kitchen, so I go ahead and exit. It feels weird not to be the one helping Shayna in the kitchen. She usually doesn’t really let me help her serve it, but she always lets me help do something.
Not Coop though, neither one of us let Coop help with dinner. I’m sure it wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, since technically, I do work harder than him during the day, but helping clean up from dinner seems like such a little thing to do for his unending patience and generosity with me. Another thing that Shayna seemed to understand from day one. Plus, she always prepares dinner, and I like to wait on her a little bit too, even if it’s only cleaning up our dinner dishes. Sigh
Coop has sat Jeannie down next to my normal spot, so I walk in with the wine, smiling. “Jeannie, Shay had this bottle of red open. Would you like a glass?”
Sneering at me, she says, “Is that it? No cocktails for dinner. What kind of dinner party is this?”
Coop, exercising a patience that only he can, responds, “Sorry, none of us are heavy drinkers, but I do have gin if you’d like a gin and tonic. It’s precious’s drink of choice when we go out, so I keep the stuff on hand in case she wants a drink when we’re home.”
“Well, I guess it’s better than that wine. I mean, who drinks that domestic stuff?”
Right as she asks her question, Shayna comes through the door, but says nothing. Her smile doesn’t leave her face as she sets dinner on the table and steps back for Bobby to set down the salad. While I’m trying to figure out what to say to stop the suddenly awkward silence, Coop goes to make Jeannie a drink, pausing only to lean down and swipe a kiss across Shay’s cheek. She pats his arm and moves to her seat; meanwhile, I still can’t find words.
“Well,” Jeannie says, and I’m borderline apprehensive what her next words will be, but happy someone is speaking. “Why does he call you precious?” She looks at Shay. “I mean, you’re not exactly dainty. He knows that, right?”
Sean quickly interjects, “Shayna-girl is perfectly lovely. She’s the exact right size.” I cast him a grateful look, but my reprieve is short-lived.
“How would you know? Aren’t you gay? And what’s with the Shayna-girl for that matter? No one likes her name? I mean, I personally wouldn’t name a child Shayna, but…”
The silence is deafening. I’m a
t a loss for words, Bobby is staring down at the table, his jaw tight, and Sean is blinking at Jeannie. Before it can get any more uncomfortable, Coop returns with her drink. “Here you go. I hope this is satisfactory.” He says it politely, but I can see the veins in his neck protruding, there is no doubt he’s heard every word she said to Shay.
“Oh, yes, yum, you make a good drink, Cooper,” she says with an emphasis on his full name. Good Lord, she has a problem with us calling him Coop, too?
Shay remains silent as she begins to pass the food around. We all fill our plates without a word, only Jeannie seeming to not understand how rude she’s being to my friends. After a few bites, Bobby digs deep for his inner charm. “What do you do, Jeannie?”
She had only taken one bite of the delicious meal Shay prepared before she’d set down her fork and took a healthy swig of her drink. “Oh, I’m in real estate. Cooper, if you ever decide to put this place on the market, I’d be happy to help you. And of course, I’d help you redecorate free of charge. You know, as a courtesy for being Elijah’s best friend.”
Shay finally breaks her silence, “And why would he need to redecorate this place to put it on the market?” Her voice is sugary sweet, but I hear the edge to her words.
“Well, all these ridiculous candles would have to go,” —Shay’s addition to Coop’s home—“I saw some hideous quilts on the furniture as we walked through the living room, obviously they’d have to go,” —again, Shay’s addition—“oh, and we’d have to move that dog out. No one wants a house that smells like dog.” I glance over at Bear, who’s being such a good boy laying in his bed while we have company, and I’m horrified. The house of course, doesn’t smell like dog. It smells like lavender and vanilla, it smells like Shay. But of course, there’s also nothing wrong with Shay’s size, she’s gorgeous. And the fact she’s bestowed with a nickname by everyone she meets speaks to how beautiful her essence is.
Dinner is a disaster. From the moment we stepped in the house to the minute I usher Jeannie out. I barely ate a thing wanting to hurry and get her away from my people. But also, how could I eat with the shame I was feeling? The shame of knowing that as horrible as she’d been, I wouldn’t be breaking up with her. As much as I love Coop and Shay, my desire to reconnect with my family is outweighing that, and they’ll love Jeannie. And if I can get Jeannie to fall in love with me, I may have a chance at repairing the damage I caused so long ago.
Diary Excerpt
I’m finally flowing with my book again, well, kind of. Irene suggested that whatever other scenes were floating around in my head, at least write them down, even if I never do anything with them. It’s helped so much. Once I write those, I’ve been able to jump in and spend the rest of day working on the book I planned in the first place.
* * *
I’m so thankful I have Irene to talk to. I can’t imagine there being anyone else in my life I’d have felt comfortable about talking about wanting to write a mmf bisexual novel to. And as I knew she wouldn’t, there was no judgement. Although, I’m still never telling anyone what happened that night with Eli. Coop and I were talking about it, and it’s almost easy to forget now since we really don’t see Elijah anymore. I miss him.
* * *
Meanwhile, Cooper and I just keep getting closer and closer. I tease him that the only reason he likes me so much is because Bear adores me, but the same could be said about him with Kitty. She’s never been around men before, so she really never paid much attention to him or Elijah, generally choosing to stay in whatever room we weren’t. But now, she lays around Coop’s neck whenever he relaxes on the couch. It’s so cute. And Bear, well, Bear rarely leaves my side.
* * *
It’s not true though, Cooper and I just click. We talk about our day each night, we talk about my daughter, and we’re finding that our hopes and dreams for the future are very similar. Neither of us mentions Eli’s name more than we have to in those conversations, but we both know that from the trips we want to take to the concerts we want to attend, we’re both hoping he’ll be with us, too.
Shayna
Ten
Shayna
It’s been two weeks since the disastrous dinner party with Jeannie and Eli. Fortunately, our night was saved with Bobby and Sean’s presence. We’d ended up having a fire as planned and Bobby and I proceeded to go through a couple bottles of wine. He’d teased me right out of my sad mood, and we’d giggled and passed the night away. Bobby had always been my favorite bartender, anyway, but getting to know him on a more personal level has been glorious. He’s charming, witty, and loving.
He’s a perfect complement to his boyfriend. Although, while Sean may be much quieter, he’s equally as likeable. While his stature isn’t as large as Coop’s by any means, he has a strength and wisdom that supersedes his years. But most of all, his love for Bobby is a thing to witness. From gentle touches and soft looks, he always knows where his man is and what he needs. Even his eye rolls when Bobby says something particularly ridiculous, show fondness rather than derision.
As if watching them together wasn’t enough to turn the night around, Sean had taken Coop out to play fetch with Bear in the side yard. We couldn’t hear what they discussed, but whatever it was, Coop had returned to me in a much better frame of mind. Obviously eased by the words of his friend, he had pulled me out of my chair so he could drop down in it and pull me onto his lap. Bobby and Sean had snuggled up to each other, and we’d spent the night by the crackling fire, Bear at our feet, and in lovely company.
If any of us noticed how dejected Eli looked when he returned home, we didn’t voice it. If any of us found it strange that he returned home before midnight, we didn’t express it. We all waved when he entered the door and bid him good-night when he said he needed sleep. It was as if it was nothing more than a roommate coming home from his date like normal and heading to bed. A roommate, not Coop’s best friend, and not the man who had become so important to me. Once we began to prepare for bed that night, my thoughts again turned troubled thinking over the evening, but as Coop and I sought comfort from each other, I heard my phone chirp. It wasn’t only me who sighed with relief upon finding a goodnight text from Eli.
Sigh. And now it’s been two more weeks. Two weeks of barely seeing Eli, only catching glimpses of him as he passes through Coop’s house as he arrives from work and leaves again for Jeannie. Two more weeks of feeling like a piece of our little circle is missing. Two more weeks of watching Coop try to pretend that Eli’s absence isn’t taking a toll on his happiness.
“What’re you doing in here, precious? You only had the plates to clean up from the pizza, and you were so excited to see the kids come through dressed up; I would’ve expected you back at the door with me as quickly as possible. ‘Costumes Coop, we have to stay at my house tonight for the costumes. OMG. The little ones are so adorable.’ Wasn’t that you who said that?” Coop walks over and tickles my sides as he’s teasing me.
“Hush. I was just thinking, that’s all.” Giggling, I push his hands down so I can cling to him.
“Hey, what’s this precious-girl? What’s wrong?” He draws me closer while rubbing soothing circles into my spine. Always ready to comfort others, when really, I should be letting him seek comfort from me. I can’t help it though.
“I’m just missing lovey. The last little one I gave out candy to had on the cutest little construction costume. He had on a little tool belt and a little hard hat. I don’t know. It just made me feel like something, someone, is missing tonight.”
Coop holds me tighter, and I hear him murmur, “I miss him, too.”
Hearing another knock, he gives me one more tight squeeze before backing up. “Come on, let’s go see all the cuteness.” He’s right, there’s nothing we can do about Eli not being with us, so I follow him to the door. What we find isn’t adorable; it’s the exact opposite. Eli is standing at the door looking heartbroken.
Coming up the walkway, I see a group of children, so I pull Eli in a
nd push him in to Coop, saying, “Take him into the living room. I’ll handle the trick-or-treaters.” Coop wraps his arm around Eli’s shoulders, and Eli sinks into him. What in the world happened?
When I enter the room, Eli is sitting on the couch with a beer, and Coop next to him, clasping his hand. Coop looks up and says, “He was waiting for you so he could tell us at one time.”
Kneeling on the floor at Eli’s feet, I rest my forearms on his legs and nod to him. With one last deep breath, he tells us what’s happened. “I hid in my room today because I was so embarrassed. But eventually, being alone seemed worse than just telling you guys about last night.”
His eyes fill with tears, but he blinks them back and continues, “Jeannie and I went to a Halloween party. We uber’d, so we both drank pretty heavily, and she invited me in after. It’s the first time we’ve gone as far as we did last night. I’ve been playing off not wanting to sleep with her yet and letting her go on about what a gentleman I am, but you guys know why.”
When he gestures down his torso, Coop’s jaw clenches, and I fight my own tears appearing. Eli’s voice is thick with tears while he says, “Yeah, so anyway, we’d both had a lot to drink and she told me that it was sweet that I hadn’t attacked her, yet, but she had needs and wasn’t a nun…and um…one thing led to another…and well, anyway, my shirt was off before we left the living room, but we hadn’t turned any lights on. By the time we made it to her room, we were both almost naked, and she turned on a small lamp, and well…she turned, saw my scar, and said ‘ew, maybe you should put your shirt back on,’ which of course I did, but I was so…I don’t know, hurt by her reaction that when she tried to…well, let’s just say then the ultimate humiliation happened.”
