“It’s down at the end of this hall, but the waiting room is through there,” she indicates, pointing a couple of doors down.
“I need to know how my boyfriend is doing,” I plead to her. I stand there clutching at her arm, my eyes begging for her help. Her lips go flat as if considering her thoughts before she looks at the doors leading to the surgical ward then back at me.
“If you can give me his name, I may be able to get some information for you.”
Letting out the breath I was holding while waiting for her response, I tell her Matt’s name and watch her disappear behind the doors. I do as she asked and wait in the waiting room. Thankfully, the room is empty upon entering, allowing me to immediately start pacing the room as every imaginable scenario travels through my mind.
“Abigail,” Julio says, his deep accent breaking my worst thoughts. “Maybe you should take a seat.”
I look at him and notice he looks just as worried as I feel. Tears are falling down my face now and I’m pretty sure I look like a hectic wreck at this point, but I don’t care. Julio holds out a box of tissues with a slight nod of his head, ordering me again to sit. This time I obey while grabbing for the tissues and start dabbing at my eyes. What feels like an eternity later, the nurse returns with a regretful look upon her face; it doesn’t look hopeful. Quickly standing, I meet her halfway, waiting for her to speak.
“They’re still trying to stabilize him. The thoracic surgeon is delayed and they’re waiting on him to try to dislodge the bullet. If they continue without him, they risk the chance of the bullet traveling or cutting a major artery.”
The words make no sense to me. “What does that mean?”
Her lips go flat before answering “I can’t really promise anything at this time. But it doesn’t look good since it’s only half an inch from his heart,” she answers. My knees give out and I collapse to the floor, my sobs echoing in the room. I feel Kelly’s arm around my shoulder as she comforts me, but it’s not her I want to take the pain away. It’s Matt.
“I’m sorry,” I hear the nurse apologize above me. “I’ve informed one of the surgical nurses who’s in the operating room that you’re here. She’s promised to keep you updated.” Her words don’t make me feel better.
“We appreciate your help. Thank you,” Julio informs her as I continue to kneel on the floor, whimpering in misery.
Kelly forces me to stand as she leads me to a chair as I continue to cry. The minutes tick by feeling like hours and soon I’ve completely lost track of time. With all the crying I’ve done, my eyes now feel heavy and it’s difficult to keep them open. Eventually, I doze off as my mind succumbs to the exhaustion of the day. Before long, I’m being shaken awake. When I slowly blink my eyes open, I see another person in surgical scrubs standing in front of me.
“Are you Mr. Garcia’s family?”
“Yes,” I answer, bringing myself fully awake.
“I’m Dr. Turner. We’ve just completed the surgery. Although it was touch and go a couple of times, we managed to get the bullet dislodged from his chest. It barely missed his heart, he’s a very lucky man. He still isn’t out of the woods, but for now he’s been moved to ICU until further notice. I can take you to see him now if you’d like,” he conveys. I let out the breath I feel I’ve been holding from the moment he began speaking.
“Yes, please,” I say, already standing. The doctor eyes me as if wondering whether he should allow me to follow him or not.
“Are you family?” he skeptically asks once more.
Before I have the chance to respond, Kelly is once again stating, “I’m his sister, and this is his fiancée.” He looks over to Julio with an arched brow.
“I’m her bodyguard by order of Mr. Garcia.”
He pauses as if considering our responses. “Okay, follow me please,” he states, leading the way to the ICU.
We are taken to another floor of the hospital, “Intensive Care Unit,” displayed over the door as we near the hall. The eerie atmosphere of the hospital rooms stays with me every step of the way as the doctor continues to lead us.
Reaching what must be his room, the doctor stops us from entering. “Only one person at a time is allowed to visit with the patients,” he sternly notifies us, eyeing all three of us standing at the door. “Go,” Kelly states, nudging me forward to enter the room. Without looking back, I take the steps needed to lead me to Matt.
The sight when I enter takes my breath away. Matt is lying on a hospital bed looking as if he’s peacefully sleeping, but seeing his body and the slow rise and fall of his chest makes the tears return. My steps are hurried as I rush to him, my lips going straight to his. I let them linger for as long as I can before I can feel his face soaked with my tears, forcing me to pull back to wipe them away. I want to demand he wake, but deep down inside I know it would be useless. I can do nothing more than wait.
“He most likely won’t awaken anytime soon due to the anesthetic. We will need to monitor him for the next couple of days for any signs of complications, but for now, everything has gone well,” he explains.
Looking behind me to ask the doctor a question, I find I’m now alone in the room. Desperately needing to be closer to Matt, I climb into bed next to him, careful to not touch the upper part of his injured chest as I wrap my arm around his body and lay my head on his shoulder. Closing my eyes, the tears continue to silently trickle down my cheeks as I pray for Matt to wake up soon.
I HEAR A screeching sound in my sleep, and before I can open my eyes, I’m being shouted at. “Move!” My body is yanked from its slumber and shoved aside. Julio’s familiar arms are catching me and practically dragging me away as I’m too sleepy to comprehend what’s happening.
“He’s coding! Charge the paddles!”
“What’s happening,” I shout. “I need to know what’s happening,” I demand, but am ignored as someone pushes me out of the room and closes the door, leaving me once again screaming into the air.
THE LIGHT IS brightly shining, demanding I open my eyes. When I do, I cautiously take in my surroundings. What seems to be an endless meadow of beautiful lush flowers are below my feet, spreading for what looks like miles around me in every direction. Slowly turning to find a familiar face, I instantly spot Emily a few footsteps away, greeting me with a heartfelt smile.
Closing the distance between us, she engulfs me in her arms. Returning her embrace, I stand with her in my arms, shell shocked and confused. Pulling back to place a kiss on my cheek, her eyes are next tenderly looking back at me.
“It feels good to hold you again, mijo. Most of all, to see you,” she calmly conveys with a smile still on her lips.
Trying to find my voice, I nervously swallow as I say, “I’m happy to see you, too, Em. But why am I seeing you?” I somberly ask.
Her chest rises and falls in a deep sigh. “Walk with me,” she states in more of a command than a request. Without hesitating, I follow her as we both silently begin to walk.
“How have you been?” I ask, feeling the need to break the silence between us.
“Good,” she replies, but with a lack of sincerity in the response.
“Is there something wrong?” I ask, earning me another heavy sigh.
“As much as I’ve desired to see and hold you again, I just never imagined it would be so soon,” she admits. Her anguished words painfully strike at my heart as I ponder the meaning behind her statement. As if knowing my thoughts, she adds, “Patience, mijo. You’ll understand soon enough.”
Taking in her words, I glance around at my surroundings. “Where are we, Emily?”
“There isn’t really a name for this place,” she answers. Still walking next to Emily, my eyes wander off into the distance and see what looks to be a replica of Abigail sitting on a stone staring off into the horizon. Running, I try to reach her but fail, the distance never closes between us. Growing tired, I surrender and stop as I stare at her. She continues gazing off into the distance, looking absent and unhappy. I shout,
scream, and do everything I can to catch her attention, but she doesn’t once turn in my direction.
“She can’t hear you, Matthew.” Emily’s words force me to look back at her. The shock of the situation leaves me puzzled, and wanting answers.
“Why can’t she hear me?” I breathlessly ask as I look back to Abigail.
“Because she’s not really here,” Emily answers. It’s not the answer I was expecting and I look back at her, wanting a further explanation. “Come,” she states, now taking my hand and leading me away. Hesitantly, I allow her to pull me away, but not without looking over my shoulder one more time, still seeing Abigail perched on the rock.
Seconds later, we’re standing at a small pond in the middle of the meadow, the water lightly rippling ahead of me. Taking a moment to remember what I was doing before I woke up, my heart suddenly sinks to the pit of my stomach as I realize why Emily is standing next to me.
“Please tell me I’m dreaming,” I plead.
The hand still entwined with mine gently squeezes, as if comforting my sorrow as I remember every detail of what happened before I opened my eyes.
I was already on my way back to Abigail with her Red Bull when Julio spotted me. “Why aren’t you in the dressing room with Abigail?” His reprimand coming out as a lecture more than a question. I’m about to answer the reason why when an intern rushes up to us, concern in her eyes.
“I think Abigail is in trouble,” she blurts out, already turning to walk away, as if leading us to where we need to go.
“What do you mean in trouble?” I demand. She quickens her steps, but still manages to answer. “There was this guy with her claiming to be her friend, but something was off. Before I could ask, Charlie was pulling me away. I just barely managed to sneak away to find you,” she explains.
“Is there any other way into the building?” Julio asks before I had the chance.
“There’s an emergency exit in the back, but if you have keys to deactivate it, it won’t go off.”
We’re already nearing Abigail’s dressing room and when I see Abigail, my body goes numb for a spilt second. She’s struggling to escape Bill.
Julio and I rush towards them. Julio reaches them first and pulls Abigail from his grasp, already attacking Bill. Catching her, I make sure to put some distance between them and us before I start to assess Abigail.
Satisfied that she isn’t physically injured anywhere on her body, I look up into her eyes and see the tell tail sign of a bruise forming on her cheekbone.
“He hit you,” I growl as my finger reaches up to gently touch the spot. She winces from the pain I’m sure she’s already feeling.
“I’m fine,” she bravely says before we hear a grunt, forcing me to look to see how Julio is doing.
The moment I see Bill lift the gun and point it right at Abigail, my heart stops. Without hesitating, I move in front of her as I hear the gun go off. At the moment, I didn’t know if I made it in time, but my sole purpose was to protect her. As I had promised I always would.
“Are you okay?” Emily’s voice brings me back to the present and my eyes close to engulf the darkness clutching at my heart. My lips are trembling as I struggle to contain the tears building in my throat. I’d known what my intention was when I’d thrown myself in front of Abigail, but I had never expected the outcome. How am I supposed to continue to protect her if I can no longer be at her side?
Emily is now embracing me, knowing I need the comfort. Wrapping my arms around her in return, I finally let the tears fall. I don’t know how long I stand here with her. It could have been seconds, minutes, maybe hours. When my tears have finally subsided, I’m still tightly wrapped in her arms—refusing to let her go.
When I have the strength to pull away, I look down at her to ask, “What’s going to happen now?”
“Sit with me, please,” she requests, already pulling me down to sit at her side. My heart is still shattering inside my chest. The loss of knowing I may never see Abigail again is slowly tearing me apart.
“When I get lonely I come here to cheer myself up.”
Looking around, it finally occurs to me that we’re alone in the meadow. “Where’s Sam?”
She grows saddened and now it’s her eyes looking glassy. “He chose to continue on. I stayed here where I can watch over you until I was ready to meet up with him. I couldn’t bring myself to leave just yet,” she explains.
“I’m proud of you for putting yourself before Abigail when the gun went off. It showed how selfless you have always been when it comes to those you love.”
“Selfless or not, it still cost me,” I bitterly say.
Tilting her head, she looks over to me. “Would you do it all over again if you had to?” Emily questions.
“Of course!”
Giving me a satisfied nod, she looks back to the water. “It does get lonely here sometimes,” she somberly says with a sigh.
“Well, I guess it won’t be lonely anymore.”
She releases another sigh before she begins to speak again. “It’s a shame I’ll never get to hold what is a part of us,” Emily murmurs, leaving me confused.
“What do you mean a part of us?”
A tender smile creeps up onto her lips. “Your child, of course. Technically, it holds your blood, making it a part of me as well since I’m your sister,” she proudly states as I struggle to comprehend her words.
Linking her arm under mine to wrap around my waist, I throw my arm over her shoulder to hold her at my side. She leans her head against my shoulder as she speaks. “You know I love you, right?”
Now I’m more confused than ever and I pull away to look down at her. Her eyes are still glassy, but it’s evident she’s holding back tears.
“And you know you can always count on me, no matter if I’m not always with you, right?” Still confused by her statement, she doesn’t allow me a moment to ask what is really concerning her before she continues. “Matt. We all make our own choices and I don’t want you regretting yours.”
“What is that supposed to mean, Em?” I finally manage to ask.
She leans up to kiss my cheek and hugs me tight. Her expressions and words are concerning me, leaving me with unanswered questions.
“I want you to remember I love you, mijo, and it was my choice to let you go,” she murmurs before squeezing harder, as if she is afraid of releasing me. My lips find the top of her head and I manage to kiss her before my world goes dark.
I awake gasping for air. Abigail shouts and my eyes immediately search for her. Above me are doctors and nurses staring down at me as if they are waiting for my reaction.
“Don’t let him die. He can’t die!” Abigail’s frantic shouting can be heard in the distance. Her words... Where I was just moments ago comes back to me.
“He’s back,” someone says above me as my eyes continue to take in my surroundings.
The white plain ceiling and bleak walls tell me I’m no longer in the meadow. Faintly, I hear Abigail’s continuous sobs over the noise around me. I want to cry out to her; Tell her I haven’t left her, but my eyes grow heavy and it’s difficult to keep them open any longer. As they slowly begin to drift close, I hear, “His pulse is slow, but steady. I think he’ll be fine now.” Those being the last words before I’m dragged off into the darkness once more.
STARING DOWN AT Matt, my mind is exhausted since I’ve barely slept in the last twenty-four hours, fearing a repeat of yesterday. I've nearly lost him twice. I fear the saying, ‘third time’s a charm’, which is the reason why I refuse to leave or allow myself to sleep. If the fear wasn’t enough, I can also add guilt to my emotions. With Matt still in critical condition, our friends have barely left. Trey and David immediately rushed to the hospital after Kelly called them. Everyone is camped out in the waiting room, waiting for Matt to wake up. I told them to go back to the hotel, but they insisted on staying.
With my body demanding its rest, I cautiously climb back into bed with Matt, knowing I’m risking
a lecture from one of the unfamiliar nurses. However, it’s a risk worth taking to be able to hold Matt. After the dreadful scare of the code blue yesterday, I was ordered to stay off the bed, but of course, I couldn’t stay too far from him. Being next to Matt was the only comfort I could find to keep me from going insane while I waited.
Carefully adjusting my body to get comfortable without moving him, I wrap my arm over his stomach and lay my head next to his on the pillow. Surrendering to my exhaustion from the day, I begin to drift off into sleep when I hear Matt groan. Panicking, I frantically sit up thinking I’ve hurt him. His eyes are still closed, leaving me to think I may be hearing things. I’m startled breathless as I watch him lift his arm up to his chest to rub at it.
“Matt?” I rasp out, unbelieving he’s awake.
He responds by letting out another groan, this time sounding as if he’s responding to me. “Matt,” I repeat, and this time I know he’s responding as I watch his lips slowly tug up into a smile.
“Hi, beautiful,” he slowly croaks out, barely above a whisper.
My heart lights up and every ounce of exhaustion is replaced with adrenaline as my heart races with glee. Too excited, I kiss his lips, forgetting about his injured shoulder as I lean against him. Hearing him groan in pain, I pull back.
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” I say. I’m about to pull myself off the bed when his hands clasp my wrist to stop me.
“Don’t leave me,” he says, the words sounding like a desperate plea. My heart somberly stops for a moment.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I reply, kissing him once more.
Knowing I need to notify a nurse, I push the call button, letting them know he is awake and feather him with another kiss.
“Matt, I have to climb off the bed or else I’m going to get in trouble again,” I reply with a giggle against his lips as he holds me in place. Giving me a muffled groan of disappointment, I chuckle before pulling away. Trying again, I attempt to climb off before the nurse enters, but it’s too late as the sound of the curtain being pushed aside is heard, informing me I’m in for a lecture if it’s the rule-keeping nurse.
Unspoken Endings Page 14
