Slowly swaying us side to side, I hold onto him, allowing him to lead me. Laying my head against his shoulder, I finally relax as I try to take in the words of the song. But I don’t need to focus too hard as I feel Matt place a quick kiss on my neck, his soft deep voice begins to sing the words into my ear.
Pulling my face up from his shoulder, wanting to see eyes I love so much, I see him already passionately looking down at me. His arm squeezes me tighter, his smile never leaving his lips as he continues to sing, hypnotizing me with his voice.
The song comes to an end and our bodies slowly come to a stop and I’m already saddened it’s over. His lips meet mine and as I close my eyes, all my sadness is quickly pushed away.
“I love you, Matt, now and forever,” I whisper against his lips.
“Now and forever, beautiful,” he says back to me—a promise I know that will never be broken or forgotten
I’M NERVOUS. MY stomach is in knots and I’m willing myself to keep the pancakes Matt cooked me this morning from coming up. Sucking in another breath, I try to calm the nerves coursing through my body. Coming to see Emily is one of our special moments and my nerves are increasing with every step I take to see her.
As we near her, I remember the first time Matt had brought me to meet her just weeks before our wedding. It was the moment I’d been waiting for since the day Matt told me my memories were Emily’s. That day, I’d taken the steps up the hill with Matt holding me at his side to guide me, although my body felt as if it were being tugged to her. My desperate need to be near her had taken over and led me straight to where she lay. It was as if our bodies are two magnets fighting to be pieced together. My nerves had made my heart race faster than it ever had in my life, but when we’d reached her I felt a sense of relief. Somehow, my soul felt at peace as I looked down at her grave marker and Matt had started speaking to her.
“Emily, this is Abigail. The love of my life.” His words were simple, but full of love, tugging a smile onto my lips. “I promised when I came back I’d bring her with me, and as you know, I keep my promises,” he proclaimed during that first visit.
Since that day, Matt and I have made sure to visit as often as we can. On some occasions, I have even come alone. When I feel as if I need a sense of guidance, this is the first place I seek. Somehow, Emily always helps me find the answer I’ve been searching for.
Reaching her, Matt wraps me in his arms and we stand there in silence for the next couple of minutes. My eyes tear up as he begins to speak.
“Hey, Emily. How have you been?” I can’t help but chuckle at how he begins the conversation. “I’m sorry we couldn’t come sooner, but things have been a little crazy.”
“But we’re here now,” I finish saying for him as I look into his eyes.
“Yes, we are,” he whispers back to me, holding me tightly to his body.
“There’s something I want to share with the both of you,” I nervously say, hoping to find the courage to let it out. Matt arches his brow, waiting for me to speak.
“Matt, remember on our run the other day I felt sluggish and could barely keep up?”
“You said it was because you felt exhausted. Is this what it’s about? Your running?”
“Sort of. I’m going to have to postpone some of my races next year.”
He looks confused again, but just as quickly grows worried. “You’re not sick are you?”
With a coy smile on my lips, I admit, “I am most of the time, but I’m pretty sure it will go away after another four and a half months. Hopefully sooner,” I tell him, waiting for his reaction.
It takes him a moment to understand the meaning behind my message and his face suddenly goes pale in reaction.
“You’re pregnant?” Sounding as if he’s still unbelieving while asking.
Nodding my head with a smile, I confirm just above a whisper, “I’m pregnant.” His eyes rapidly light up and his lips slam down onto mine. Pulling back he’s asks, “Are you serious?”
My excitement has risen just as high as his as I answer, “Yes.”
He reaches forward and scoops me up into the air, spinning me around in his arms. With the world swiftly whooshing by me, my earlier nausea is now returning. “Matt, please stop before I throw up,” I beg, hoping I don’t throw up on him.
He immediately stops, gently placing me down on the ground. His concerned eyes are looking at me. “Is this why you’ve been so sick lately?” Remembering the times most recently I’d been throwing up, thinking I’d had the stomach flu.
It hadn’t occurred to me I may be pregnant. Matt and I have been trying for over a year now with no results and my irregular cycle was due to my intense running schedule. The doctors had explained my inability to conceive might be a side effect of taking the Depo shot. In some cases, it can take years to conceive. We’d both left the appointment disappointed, but promised we wouldn’t give up, agreeing that with time it would happen.
“Yes,” I answer after taking a slow breath to push the nausea aside. “I thought it was the flu at first, but after the throwing up stopped and the nausea stayed, my trainer made me go to the doctor just to make sure,” I explain.
He looks excited again as he looks between Emily and me. “You’re going to be an aunt, Emily!” he excitingly shouts down to her. “I’m going to be a dad!” he adds, shouting it up to the sky. I barely suppress a giggle before he’s kissing me again.
“I love you,” I say against his lips, feeling just as ecstatic as he does.
“You’ve made me the happiest man alive today, beautiful,” he says, causing my heart to feel as if it may just burst from my chest from delight.
“And I’m the happiest girl alive because I have you,” I tell him before looking down at Emily with tears in my eyes to silently say, “Thank you.”
My heart is so full of joy as I think, if it wasn’t for her, I would have never found Matt, and I would have never felt as complete as I do now.
LOOKING OVER AT Abigail, a sense of contentment takes over my body. Seeing her in our home, the home Emily once raised me in, and now the home where we’re raising our own family makes me smile every day I wake up next to her in it. With each day my love for her increases as she unselfishly proves how much she loves me in return.
It was her decision to settle in our modest family home when the previous family had moved on to buy their own house. We could have easily afforded a mansion in San Diego, but she insisted on raising our daughter here. The commute on training days can be a bitch sometimes, but it’s worth it when I know it’s what makes her happy.
Originally, I wanted to sell the house in Portland, but she also refused to let me do that. She couldn’t find it in her heart to let go of the house that held most of our beginning. She said maybe one day we could part with it, but she just wasn’t ready to let it go, yet. And who was I to argue with her? It was the house where I fell in love with her. Now we use it as an alternative residence during her intense training seasons in Portland.
The little girl in my arms starts clapping with excitement when she eyes her mother walking out from the kitchen area with the cake in her hands and a radiant smile on her lips. If possible, motherhood has made Abigail even more beautiful than before. Abigail’s eyes meet mine and she joyfully smiles over to me as she leads the room in the chorus of the Happy Birthday Song.
Looking down at my daughter as Abigail nears, Emily’s eyes are wide with delight as she takes in the cake now being placed in front of her.
“Blow out the candles, boñita,” I whisper down into Emily’s ear as Abigail kneels down on the other side of her, pointing at the candle waiting to be blown out. Emily leans forward with her little hands as if to grab for it, earning a shouted, “No!” throughout the room. Her body trembles before she lets out a wail, making everyone sympathetically say awww. Wrapping my hand around her head to tuck it closer to my chest, my lips find her temple to kiss her while still whispering my comforting words. “Ya, ya, boñita. No llores, mi
amor.” Her cries quickly fade down to a whimper.
Abigail had begun speaking to Emily in Spanish while she was in her womb, and since the day she was born she has insisted we continue so she can be bilingual. Abigail’s Spanish has thus improved as well. Holding out her arms, requesting I surrender Emily, I selfishly deny her request. It earns me a small snicker from Abigail before she says, “Why does it not surprise me? And you say I spoil her,” she remarks. Her words making me laugh. Within seconds, I have Emily calm and smiling again, and this time Abigail and I blow out her candle together.
It’s only been a year since she’s been born, but with every day that goes by, I fall in love with her even more. She was our blessing in disguise the day she was born. Abigail and I had made the decision to not find out the sex of the baby, we’d wanted it to be a surprise. But the moment they told us it was a girl, Abigail had turned to face me and the first words out of her mouth were, “Our Emily,” making me cry as they handed her to me first.
“Quieres una mordida, boñita?”
“Matthew Garcia, don’t you dare smash her face into that cake?” she scolds. Her eyes are narrowed in warning. It’s become her signature you’re going to pay for it later, look. I like testing her half the time because the make-up sex is worth it.
“Let’s eat some cake!” Trey shouts.
I never thought I’d see the day when Trey would have a girl wrapped around his little finger, but I was proven wrong with Emily. If it’s not Abigail or I fussing over her, it’s Trey or Julio. Julio is still sticking around now that we have Emily. Abigail was very adamant she wanted to raise her own children, which is why the only time we depend on a nanny is when she has to leave for her training. Even when we’re on the road, Emily gets handed off to either Julio or Trey while she races if I can’t be there, which is very rare since Trey is really good about handling both our schedules to coincide with each other’s.
Another thing I’ve been amazed by is Trey and his management skills. He’s taken on the role and has yet to disappoint either of us. He’s still the same goofy guy as before, but thanks to a girl he’s recently started seeing, he’s left his player days behind. At least I hope he has.
The sound of laughter filling the room breaks my thoughts, and when I look down to Emily, she’s lifting her little fisted hand full of cake up to my mouth. Happily, I lean down to take a bite, causing her to giggle. She reaches for the cake again and takes another fist full and now Abigail is leaning down for the next bite.
“Baby girl, I didn’t know it was that kind of party,” Trey says, reaching into the cake with his fingers to take his own sample. He lifts it to his mouth and lets out a satisfied groan.
“Trey!” shouts his friend, as they’re still calling each other for now, but in all reality has been more like a girlfriend nowadays. “Use a plate,” she scolds.
Trey ignores her and dips his fingers back into the cake before bringing it to her lips, encouraging her to take the bite. She’s skeptically looking at him at first, but eventually she gives in to his request and takes his fingers into her mouth. Trey’s eyes roll back and he lets out another groan. She swats him on the chest and he catches her hand, bringing it up to kiss it.
“I’ll make sure to take some cake home. For later,” he huskily says to her.
“And you both claim there’s nothing serious going on,” Abigail snickers.
Trey’s girl looks as if she’s now blushing and Trey’s lips go into a flat smile. Emily holds her hands up to for him to pick her up and he happily gives in to her request. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s go see what uncle Trey bought you.”
I watch Trey and his girl take Emily out into the backyard to the small play set that Julio and Trey recently put up for her. Abigail comes over to me and I tug her to sit on my lap. My arms wrap around her waist and she leans in to kiss me.
“I love you,” I tell her, and as usual she responds, “I love you, more,” before kissing me again. She sighs, worrying me. “What’s wrong?”
She looks out to the backyard where Trey is playfully chasing Emily around as she takes her wobbled steps, his girl in the front prepared to catch her if she stumbles forward.
“I just don’t understand them sometimes,” she voices her concern. Rubbing my hand up and down her back, I tell her, “It will all work out.”
“I just wish they would stop denying what they both want.”
The words make me laugh. “Yeah, I remember when we were both like that, and it was hell,” I remind her.
She turns to face me with a smile on her face. “Who would have known I’d land the guy of my dreams?” she says with a wiggle of her brows. Tucking her hair behind her ear, I say, “Me. Which is why I refused to make you one of my friends with benefits,” I tell her before bringing my lips to hers and kissing her with every ounce of happiness inside of me.
TUCKING THE BLANKET snugly around Emily’s body so she doesn’t grow cold, my eyes stare down at her in awe. It’s still unbelievable that Matt and I have created this little girl. Without a doubt, she is an exact replica of Matt, taking more of her features from Emily. It’s what I’d wished for from the moment I discovered I was pregnant. Leaning down to give her one more kiss, my lips linger longer than usual as I inhale her sweet baby scent.
Quietly turning to leave the room, I slam into Matt’s body, startling me to lose my balance. Holding his finger up to his lips in a warning to be quiet, I shake my head at him. Of course I know to keep as silent as possible. She’s my daughter and throughout the past year I’ve come to discover how light of a sleeper she is. She startles awake at any little noise. Thankfully, Matt has been very considerate with helping me when she wakes in the middle of the night. There couldn’t be a more helpful father, even if I asked for one.
Tugging me with him, we slowly start retreating from the room. The moment I quietly close the door, I’m gently shoved against the wall and taken into Matt’s arms. Instinctively, my arms wrap around his neck and I pull him to our bedroom. My feet lead us through the all too familiar steps to the bed to pull him down on top of me.
“You tired?” he whispers into my mouth.
Shaking my head, I know if I were, it wouldn’t stop me.
I’ve been craving this all day.
Impatiently removing his clothing as quickly as I can, it isn’t long before Matt and I are connected as one. Whether it’s fast or slow, each time with him feels just as special; my body never tires of making love to Matt. Within minutes, my quiet whimpers are growing louder as my body rises to find its completion.
“Shhh, you’re going to wake the baby.”
His statement reminds me of how many times our urgent cries have awoken her. Moving my mouth to the hollow of his neck to muffle my cries isn’t helping. Matt’s body thrusting into mine has a way of making me moan uncontrollably.
Locking my mouth to his, Matt’s plunging quickens and I’m meeting his frantic thrusts, sending my body higher until I’m reaching the all too recognizable peak of my climax. His mouth catches my screams of desire before his hands are digging into my thighs as he explodes with me. My body is still shuddering from my orgasm as he slowly brings his body to a stop. The earth shattering after effects are still traveling through my body when he rolls to my side, tucking me snuggly into his body.
He chuckles as he places a kiss against my hair. “Someone was horny,” he says, sounding breathless as his chest rapidly rises and falls.
“You’re the one who came looking for me.”
“I was going to ask if you wanted to watch a movie with me, but I’m too tired now.” His response makes me laugh, reminding me how quickly parenthood has caught up to both of us.
Soon his breathing has calmed and from how tightly he’s still holding me in his arms, I know he’s asleep.
“I love you,” I tell him, knowing he’s probably not heard me, but he doesn’t need to hear my words to know how I feel. Just as exhausted and spent, my eyes start to drift close and I’m dragged
into slumber.
I’m standing in a meadow surrounded by a sea of flowers, unsure of where I’m at. My confusion is replaced with fear for a few moments before I see Emily off in the distance. It’s been a while since I’ve last seen her in my dreams, but her smile is all too familiar since it looks back at me every day.
“Hi,” I shyly tell her when she’s reached me.
“Thank you.”
Confusion has now replaced all my earlier emotions.
“Whatever for?”
“For keeping your promise.”
Remembering her request on that very first night I met her, the tears are now building up in my eyes. I had unselfishly made that promise so long ago knowing without a doubt it would be my future, regardless of what happened between Matt and me.
She steps forward and pulls me into her arms, her kindhearted spirit radiating into our embrace. Not long after, she’s pulling away with tears in her eyes, making my heart ache from the sight.
“I’m going to miss all of you.”
Feeling baffled as to why she’d say such a thing, I’m about to request clarification when she begins to explain.
“I couldn’t let myself move on until I knew he was truly happy. It’s why I sent you to him. I’ve known since the day I arrived you were meant for each other,” she says with a tear now cascading down her cheek.
“Wait, what do you mean move on?” I ask, now taking in our surroundings. “My time here was limited. I have my own love I need to be with now, but my promise to always be there for Matt is what kept me from moving on. But I know through you my promise will live on,” she explains.
Unspoken Endings Page 28
