by Amy Daws
“Why me?” The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them.
He flinches slightly, like he doesn’t understand how I would ever ask such a question. “Are you kidding?” he pauses, waiting for a response from me, but I just shrug. He sits up and rakes his hand through the side of his hair and rests his forearm on his bent leg. “Besides the fact that you…look like that…” He shakes his head, appearing almost frustrated. “You have this…” he pauses, seemingly collecting his thoughts. “You know that Parni we were talking about at your lab? The real bitchy one?”
I bite my lip to contain a snicker.
“See, look. You won’t even call her that. She is always such a bitch to you but you always seem to somehow find the humor in whatever she says to you. Like she can be going off on you for the pettiest shit and you just let it roll off your shoulders.”
I stare in amazement at his detailed description of my interactions with Parni. The raw honesty of his confession stings like something I’ve never felt before.
“And I can tell you think it’s funny when she’s throwing one of her tantrums,” he continues. “Most people would let that shit get to them. They’d get riled up about it or snap at her. You don’t. You see the funny side of it all. I love that. Fuck…it’s just…it’s cool as...”
Before he can finish that thought, I sit up and kiss him. I didn’t even know I was going to kiss him. My body just took over! This man, this beautiful man is like no one I’ve ever dated before. He’s open and honest and sexy as hell. Maybe if I wasn’t so obsessed with Jake, I could have noticed him sooner—really noticed him.
His hand instantly grips the back of my head and his lips respond with enthusiasm. His fingers squeeze around the hair at the nape of my neck. He pulls my head back slightly, further opening my mouth to his.
I may have started this kiss, but Brody is in the driver’s seat now. His tongue enters my mouth and I swoon at the erotic feel of it. He furthers the pressure of his tongue and I feel completely commanded by him. And I like it. I more than like it. This is a kiss.
As he works passionately on my mouth, I can sense all of my previous week’s feelings of insecurity evaporating. The thoughts of my worthlessness engrained in my brain by Jake are now entering into the mixture of swirling, curling colors in the sky.
My insides flutter as Brody pulls me down on top of him. His hands rove over the sides of my breasts and down my ribcage. He cups my ass in both of his hands and my groin screams for more.
I break the kiss, panting hard against his mouth. “I just…I…huumm…” I swallow hard, trying to tame my obvious arousal, albeit, not as obvious as his.
“Yeah, sorry. I probably kicked that up a notch too far.”
I nod, unable to form a coherent thought. I roll off of him and sit crisscross, facing him. Worried my sudden interruption will give him the wrong idea, I scoot closer to him so our legs are touching.
“That kiss was…” I purse my lips. “It was good. I definitely want more of that.”
He huffs with a quick laugh and brings his hand to my cheek and kisses me sweetly. I press my hand against his chest.
“Yes…definitely more. Just not right now,” I say, and his hand instantly drops. My heart breaks at the loss of his touch on my cheek. I quickly grab his hand and put it back on my face. “No, I just mean I want to do this right.”
“What about what we just did was wrong?” he asks, looking wounded.
“Nothing!” I squeal, and kiss his lips quickly. His eyes open, taking in my expression. “Seriously, nothing. I just…I want to do this right with you.”
Understanding blankets his facial features, and he half-smiles at me in that adorable way he has. I bring my hand up to his cheek and rub my thumb over the freckle that’s been taunting me since yesterday morning.
“I just…I haven’t had the best luck with guys in the past. I feel like…this could maybe…really be something.” I look down, feeling nervous about being so honest about my feelings. What if I’m coming on too strong, too serious? What if this scares him away?
Or what if I’m totally getting played? My mind clamors back to the one-night stand I had with a football player my sophomore year and I internally cringe at the disgusting memory. I was drunk as a skunk and flirting shamelessly with him all night. One thing led to another and I slept with him. He swore he’d call and he never did. I still see him on campus occasionally and he gives me the most disgusting looks.
“That’s cool with me. I want this to be something too. Something real…I don’t know, maybe even major.” He looks away shyly. “What I mean is, slow is fine, Finley.” He reaches in and kisses me again. When his fingers comb through my hair again, I push him slightly away.
“You’re going to have to stop doing that hair tugging thing if we’re going to take this slow. Seriously.” I shudder. “It’s shit hot.”
He laughs loudly and pulls his fingers out of my hair and tweaks my nose. “Sorry. I’ve been thinking about touching this hair for a while now.”
“You can touch it all you want, just not when we’re kissing…for now at least.” I smile saucily at him and he returns it with his own.
“Come here.” He tucks me in under his arm and lays us back down to continue watching the sky change colors.
“I’m glad you brought me here,” I say, relishing in how perfectly I fit in the crook of his arm.
“I’m glad you said yes. I want to take you on more dates, Fin. A lot more.”
I shake my head in amazement. We lay there talking and laughing until the sun is completely gone and the sky is replaced with several stars. Before we get up, he leans over me and kisses me deeply again, paying careful attention to where his hands are. My locks almost cry at the denial of his touch, but I appreciate him taking my request seriously. His kisses are like none I’ve ever experienced before. They are sexy, all consuming, and reverent at the same time.
I could kiss this guy forever.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“So, what are you doing tomorrow?” Brody asks, playing with my hair. My back is pressed against my apartment door as he delivers me back home from our date.
“I got nothing. I mean…schoolwork, I guess,” I say, and roll my eyes.
He huffs with laughter. “You should come over. Would you want to? We can do school stuff together,” he says, biting his lip, knowing what he just said was complete and utter bullshit. And I couldn’t care less.
“Sounds good,” I nod, grinning, and he leans in and kisses me again. His hands cup both my cheeks softly. He breaks the kiss and murmurs against my lips.
“See you tomorrow, Fin.” I shamelessly stand there, watching him walk across the parking lot. He looks back, grinning. I smile back, turn around and go into my apartment, and sic my grin on an unassuming Angela.
“Oh, God. Don’t bring that shit in here,” she says, looking annoyed and unimpressed when I enter her bedroom and flop onto her bed dramatically. “I’m nursing a tragic break up and you’re going to come in here and rub that in?” she says, gesturing toward my face.
“A!” I squeal. “Please, pleeeeeease let me tell you about him!”
She looks at me and smiles, then jumps up and down on her knees and says, “Okay, spill! I want every detail!”
So I tell her every last bit, even the sub toppings. I literally have to stop myself from squealing at the end of every sentence so Angela doesn’t think I’ve gone completely mad. She giggles and laughs with me and we map out the perfect too-good-to-be-true future for Brody and me. But damn it all if I don’t want every last bit of it!
***
“I’m coming over with you,” Angela says, strolling into my room, eating a bowl of cereal.
“No, you’re not!” I reply, pulling my hair up into a high, messy top-knot.
“I want to meet him! I don’t want to wait. I must ensure we’re not dealing with more Jake LaShae ridiculousness.”
“We’re not. Not even close. Oh my God, not eve
n in the same league!” I roll my eyes and continue doing my hair in my closet door mirror.
“Just let me come over for a little bit. We’re practically neighbors, what’s the big deal?”
“Alright—whatever. It’s going to be awkward as hell,” I groan.
“No, it won’t! Let’s bring over beers and food and we can watch some football! Make it more like a fun gathering. Guys love football and food.”
I turn my lips down and nod, liking that idea, even though I hate sports. I still love the food and beer. I am American after all.
I text Brody, informing him of mine and Angela’s plan. I giggle when he texts me that if I’m a good cook, I’m stuck with him for life. He says his roommate, Mark, will be around, so it sounds like fun. I’m looking forward to meeting this Mark character after his shouted words of encouragement to Brody last night.
Angela and I head over around noon with a crockpot of cheese dip and chips and some dill pickle wraps—classic Midwestern high-end cuisine. Angela looks ridiculous, insisting on wearing her Chiefs jersey. Really, I just feel annoyed because I don’t have a jersey to wear, so I look pretty plain in comparison in my skinny jeans and white tee.
Brody answers the door in all his comfortably-sexy glory of jeans and a t-shirt. I don’t know if it’s because all I can think about is that kiss, or if his outfit really is that sexy, but I’m instantly feeling butterflies from being in close proximity to him again.
“Oh, good, you brought food,” he exclaims. “Mark, see? They really brought food!”
“I said I was going to bring food, why would you think I wouldn’t?” I inquire feeling confused.
“Because all women are liars and cheats!” bellows Mark’s voice from the bedroom to the right.
Brody grabs the crockpot out of my hands and rolls his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He’s an idiot.”
“You won’t be calling me an idiot when we taste that food and discover it to be poisoned!” he yells again. Angela comes in behind me and looks at me like are you serious, and I shrug. I’m just as confused as she is.
Brody pulls me into a hug and Angela breaks our little moment by shouting back at Mark. “Yeah, you’re right, it’s poisoned! You know us college girls so well. We have dark passengers inside of us just screaming at us to poison people!”
I hear a commotion inside Mark’s room and he comes rushing out the door and into the kitchen, mere inches away from Angela’s face.
“Was that a Dexter reference?” he asks, with a deadly serious expression. “Or do you simply know what a dark passenger is because you are truly possessed?”
“Which answer would you be more impressed with?” Angela asks, placing her tiny hand on her hip.
“Sweet Snow White. Are you wearing a Chiefs jersey? Answer: Yes, yes you are.”
She shoots Mark an incredulous look and his eyes rake over her entire body. “I’m glad you figured that one out on your own. If you hadn’t, I would have even more fears for your clearly questionable IQ.” Angela begins to squirm under his discernible scrutiny and I’m fighting back an uncomfortable giggle bubbling inside of me.
“Could you be more obvious?” she says, sneering and looking over to Brody and me for help.
“Probably. Could you be more beautiful? Answer: No. No, you couldn’t.” Mark states, deadpan.
“Alright, I’m going to leave if he doesn’t stop acting so creepy.”
“Did you just ask a question and answer it?” I ask, looking at Mark and taking in his haphazard appearance. His medium brown shaggy hair is straight and swept off to one side, curling slightly at the ends. He’s wearing a pair of camouflage shorts and a black sleeveless t-shirt, revealing well-sculpted arms and a distinctive tattoo on the inside of his wrist.
“Mark, cool off. Why don’t you offer the ladies a beer?”
“What is your name beautiful? Is it Raven? Answer: No, but close, I imagine.”
Angela’s face twists in confusion. “I’m Angela. Are you fucking with me? Because seriously, I’m about to leave.”
“Don’t leave. I have beverages. Please, come peruse.” Mark gestures dramatically toward the fridge and Angela shoots me another WTF look but heads over anyway.
She brings me a Corona and I officially introduce her to Brody. Brody smiles and is polite and perfect, just how I imagined he would be. While he makes small talk with Angela, he continues eyeing me, pulling his lower lip into his mouth and scraping his teeth against it. When conversation lulls, he laces his fingers into mine and pulls me toward his room. I look at Angela for assurance she’s comfortable being left with her admirer. She smirks and gives a nod toward Brody to signal I should follow his lead.
“We’ll be right back,” he says, to Angela and Mark. “Mark, be good. I’m not kidding.”
“I’ll be a prince to this raven-haired enchantress.”
“Honest to God, I will punch you,” Angela states, straight-faced.
Mark’s face ignites in excitement and his hands shoot up in surrender. “I’ll turn the game on. Please, make yourself comfortable, beauty.”
Brody pulls me into his room, shuts the door, and presses me up against the back of it. His lips connect with mine and he strokes his thumb tenderly along my jaw. I groan into his mouth at the forceful entry of his tongue. Brody doesn’t kiss like a college boy, he kisses like a man.
“I thought about you all night,” he moans against my lips, and comes back in, pulling my lower lip into his mouth and gently scraping his teeth along it as he releases it.
I instantly pull it into my mouth, sucking off the remnants of the searing kiss he just laid on me. “Damn,” I whisper.
“Damn what?” he whispers back.
“Damn, this is going to be so hard.” I scrape my hands through the sides of his hair and kiss him passionately, taking control and showing him that while I love the power of his kiss—I can match it. He presses his hips against me in response and I let my hands fall down to my sides, feeling at a loss with the epic arousal approaching.
He strokes his hands softly down my arms, then grabs my wrists and pushes them up above my shoulders, pinning them to the door. Holy Jesus, this is too much.
I pull my mouth away, panting heavily. “Okay, okay, okay…”
“Okay,” he concedes. He drops one more kiss on my mouth and releases my hands. He turns away from me and adjusts himself and smiles back at me over his shoulder sheepishly. “Do we have to go back out there with them?”
I grin and reply knowingly, “Not right away. But is Angela okay out there with him?”
“Mark’s harmless. Come here,” he says, as he pulls me onto his bed to sit beside him. I glance around his room and it seems normal enough. He has a double bed with a khaki down comforter, a desk and lamp in the corner, and a bookshelf stacked with DVDs.
“Who’s in the frame?” I ask, nodding over to the picture on his desk.
He rolls his eyes. “My two sisters. They are crazy. Honest to goodness, crazy. But they’re pretty cool too.”
I laugh at his affectionate words for his sisters. “So, what’s Mark’s deal? He seems funny,” I offer, trying to dig more info out of this new guy of mine.
He nods, appreciatively. “He’s funny alright. He’s my best friend actually. Has been since we were kids.”
“I kind of dig him digging on Angela. Is he a good guy?”
Brody looks down, contemplating something. “Yes. For sure. He’s really good. He’s super smart, but a bit of a slacker, so that’s caused him some trouble with relationships in the past. But haven’t we all struggled with relationships?” he says, with a faraway look in his eyes. For the first time, I feel him pull away from me, and I don’t like it.
“What’s up?” I ask, folding my legs up onto his lap. He chews his lip thoughtfully while thumbing the tattered holes on my jeans.
“I don’t want to scare you away,” he replies, softly.
“Scare me?” I ask, knitting my brows together and wishing he’d l
ook at me to give me an inkling of where he’s going with this. The anxiety of rejection is rearing its ugly head.
“I’ve just…I’ve had my heart broken.” He lifts his dark blue eyes to mine. “I don’t trust easily.”
“What happened?” I ask, despite myself. This feels a little early to have discussions about exes, but so far my feelings for Brody are at warp speed, so maybe this is the next natural step.
“Oh, the usual shit. I’ve been cheated on…by two of my more serious girlfriends. It starts to fuck with your psyche after a while. Makes you think it’s something you did.”
My heart aches at hearing him admit he thinks he’s the cause behind why someone would cheat. “That’s crazy.”
“Yeah, no. I get it. I know. But it makes me kind of irrational at times…and insecure. And I have two younger sisters, so I already have this, like, over-protectiveness kinda programmed into me. With my last girlfriend, from a couple years ago, I was just a mess. She was a huge flirt and it got to me. She kept telling me I was crazy but I kept beating myself up about it.”
“What happened?” I ask, pulling his finger out of the hole of my jeans and holding it tightly, for reassurance.
“What always happens…she cheated. Mark saw her and one of our buddies leave a party together. They weren’t leaving just to chat, if you know what I mean.” His upper lip curls like he’s still disgusted by the ordeal.
“You’re lucky Mark told you. It’s hard being the messenger sometimes,” I offer, not knowing what else to say.
“Yeah, I trust him with everything. I already had an inkling she was fucking around on me. Turns out, I was right.”
I rub his back encouragingly, and he looks up and half-smiles at me. “So, what’s your baggage, Fin? I’m sure you have something, right? I shared, now you have to share.”
I exhale a big breath, and release an awkward cackle of a laugh. I see a nervous expression fleet across his face.
