by Amy Daws
I look sadly at her. My head is pounding. My heart is aching.
“This could actually be good for your relationship,” she continues, glancing out at the noise in the hallway. “I think sometimes a relationship has to be broken before it can become what it should be. And you’re broken as shit right now.”
I laugh and cry at the same time. It’s an odd emotion.
“Sorry, hon, but jeez, look at you.” She glances down at my arm. “Sometimes you need a little drama to appreciate what you have.” I nod, allowing her words to blanket me in a small shred of comfort. “Remember when Mom and Dad bought the acreage? I was fourteen, so you were only four, I suppose. Anyway, they did a bunch of remodeling to it first and you cried like a baby because they were tearing everything out. The carpet, the cabinets.” She laughs at the memory I have no recollection of. “Mom told you it was going to look a lot worse before it looked better.” I frown, contemplating that. “You can get back what you lost, and make it even better.”
I swallow, feeling the tiniest bit better. “So, what should I do, you think? He said he wants space.”
She smiles. “Give him a little space. You need time for your face to heal anyway. You look terrible.” She giggles and I laugh softly in response, and then wince in agony. “Then I think you need to do something big. Something to make him look twice. See the beauty after the storm, maybe?”
I half-smile at her advice, thinking back to our fight in the rain and how true her words are right now. Despite lying in this hospital bed all messed up, this is the first time in hours I haven’t felt completely miserable. I can make him look twice. I can make him see this mess I made as something that will make us better. I can do this.
“Thanks, Cadence. You always manage to be around just when I need you.”
“You mean any time you’re an idiot and crash your car and nearly give me a heart attack?” she says with mock indignation and then smiles. “I’m around any time you need me, Finley. Always. Just please…don’t let the next time you need me be an EMT calling me from your phone! That is scary as shit!”
I smile sadly at her.
“So, can we stop talking about you and your stupidity for two minutes?” I cut her a glare and she laughs. “I have news,” she says excitedly, and her fair skin flushes a deep red.
“What? Oh God, you’re…”
“I’m pregnant!” she finishes, with a huge smile.
“You are?” I screech back in reply, and then wince. “You’re telling me your exciting news when I’m lying in a hospital? That’s so weird,” I groan, shifting slightly. My eyes instantly go to her belly for confirmation.
“Well, it seems as good of a place as any.” She shrugs her shoulders. “It’s early, but it’s official.” She lifts her eyebrows at me playfully.
“That’s awesome, Cadence. Congratulations!” Damn, I feel like an even bigger ass for scaring her like this when she’s in a fragile state.
“Thanks, McKinley is acting so grown up lately. She won’t cuddle with me at all anymore, so I’m ready for another little baby.”
I smile, thinking of sweet McKinley. She’s four now and her older sister, Megan, is nine. My nieces are my whole world. I miss them like crazy. With Cadence being ten years older than I am, her oldest daughter is only eleven years younger than me, so she looks up to me a lot. The shame enveloping me for this careless behavior only furthers the disappointment I already feel in myself.
“I’m really happy for you, Cade,” I say, sadly. “I promise to try to set a better example for them in the future.” My chin wobbles again and Cadence looks at me severely.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everything will be okay.” A text notification pings on her phone. “Mom and Dad are here. I’m going to go bring them back.”
“Kay,” I nod.
As she leaves, Brody’s words about wanting kids with me flash into my memory. I feel slammed with guilt. Brody and I having our own little us baby would be the happiest moment of my life. Sure, we’ve only been together for a couple months, but I can feel it in my bones that I want forever with Brody. I just have to be deserving of our love. I hope it’s not too late to fix us.
***
Cadence offers to drive me back to school later that night after I get discharged. I accept quickly because I’m not sure I can handle another hour with my parents. My mother was an emotional mess when she saw me with my swollen eye and cut up face. That pole crashing on my car really did a number on me. My dad hugged me and then gave me a stern talking to about the importance of paying attention when driving. Both of them decide I don’t need a car at college for a while. Everywhere I need to go is walking distance, so this is their form of punishment, I guess. I’m not exactly rolling in the dough, so I have no choice but to accept their decision. Honestly, driving doesn’t sound very appealing to me right now anyway.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
I check my phone incessantly on the way back to campus, praying Brody will call or text. I considered calling to tell him about the accident, but I am taking Cadence’s advice to give him space.
“Thank God you’re home.” Angela comes out of her bedroom and her face drops when she takes in the sight of me. “What the hell happened to you?” Her horrified expression is too much to take, so I look away from her and walk slowly toward the bathroom.
“I crashed my car,” I answer, putting my pain meds up in the medicine cabinet.
“Finley, your face! Oh my God, what happened?”
I tell her all the details of the crash.
“I wanted to call you so bad today but I didn’t want to interrupt your time with your sister. Jesus! Why did no one call me?” she shrieks, walking over to me by the sink to inspect my injuries.
“It looks worse than it is,” I say dismissively. “It’s painful as hell, but the doctor said it’s nothing that won’t heal on its own. Just a fracture,” I say when she turns my braced wrist over for inspection.
“I should have gone with you. I’m such an ass.”
“Stop. This is all me. One-hundred percent my fault. I’m an idiot and I deserve everything right now.” My right eye is still extremely swollen but I can see out of it now.
Finley,” Angela groans and hugs me softly. Her embrace breaks my cold reserve and tears slip down my cheeks onto her shoulder.
“Oh, A, I’m such an idiot. I feel like such an ass. First the shit with Jake, then my fight with Brody, and now I wreck my car. Damn it, why do I keep screwing things up so bad?” My watery eyes look anxiously into hers for any type of answer she can give me.
“They say bad things happen in threes! If that’s the case, you’re done. You’re good now.”
I shake my head dismissively.
“So, what the hell happened with Brody? All I know is that you ripped Jake a royal new asshole, which was epic, by the way.” She giggles and I giggle back, wincing at the pain in my head. “Five-star performance…hands down. So, what’s the deal?”
I motion for her to follow me to my room and she saddles up next to me on my bed.
I sigh, heavily. “Brody flipped out about the Jake thing, and we fought…like, seriously fought.”
I touch my swollen tender eye, just to check and make sure it’s not bleeding again. “Anyway, I thought things were okay, but he left me this letter this morning.” I grab the note out of my pocket and hand it to her. Having her read it is easier than explaining it.
“Shiiiiit, Finley. What the hell?”
I nod, “I know. It’s bad.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I’m sure as shit not going to make this easy on Brody. I’m not just going to lie back and let him just fizzle out of my life. Space is the last thing I want. But you know, I’m actually glad that Jake said all the crazy things he said to me. Because, the beautiful thing is, A, I didn’t care! Like, not at all! I didn’t even need to hear what he said to me. I mean, I’m not going to lie, it’s a little nice knowing that he really is jus
t a douche.” Angela huffs a knowing laugh. “But even if I never would have known why Jake wasn’t into me, it wouldn’t matter. Brody completely and utterly eclipses Jake. There’s no comparison!”
Angela smiles. “So you just have to tell Brody that!”
I nod, “I think I need to do more than just tell him that, though. I need to make him feel the way he made me feel when we first met.” I pull my lower lip into my mouth, deep in thought. “When I think back to our first date…he made me feel like, like…everything. I have to do that for him.”
Angela squeals and lies down next to me.
“So, you have a plan then?”
“I think so. But I’m going to give him a couple days. I can’t show up looking like this anyway. He wants time, so I’m going to try to give it to him.”
“I’m here to help anyway you need it.”
“Thanks, A. Hey, how was the rest of your night? Did Mark drive you crazy?”
She looks at me with a naughty smirk.
“Why are you giving me that look?” I laugh softly and shove her. Damn, it feels good to laugh. It hurts, but it feels good at the same time.
“I feel dumb talking about this after all the craziness that happened to you today.”
“Oh, please, I need some lightness. Seriously. I’m so freaking depressed. Give me something else to focus on besides myself.”
“Okay, okay,” she says, sitting up and looking at me with an adorable brightness in her eyes. “He’s so weird, but shit…I think I actually like him!”
“Give me details!” I say, excitedly. “What changed your mind?”
“Oh my gosh, how did it even start? So, he was kind of sticking close to me a lot when we were walking around on the strip.” Angela continues, “He was being weird…like he always is…he kept doing that asking-then-answering-his-own-questions thing that he does. But after last night, I now think it’s flipping adorable.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I was standing in that alley area by The Tank, fixing the strap on my purse that broke. Anyway, he came over to help me, which was nice. And while we’re both staring down at it, he goes, Question: Can I kiss you? Answer: Hell yes. And he just laid one on me. Like…smoking hot, scorching kiss, Finley.”
My jaw drops and my eyes go wide. Or, at least, one of my eyes.
“It was like…I wasn’t really seeing him sexually before then. But once he kissed me and…just like…took the kiss like a man. Shit, I see him in a whole new light now!”
“So, what happened after that?”
“Well, I mean, not a ton. We went to that afterhours party where you ran into Jake. Thanks for bailing on me, whore—you’re lucky I had Mark with me.”
I cringe at my rude behavior and she rolls her eyes, clearly letting me off the hook.
“I didn’t really want to go back to our place ‘cause I figured you and Brody were getting it on or fighting. So I went back to Mark’s and spent the night there.”
“You did?” She nods, enthusiastically. I nod back at her like I’m waiting for her to finish. She doesn’t say anything. “Come on! Then what?” I squeal out in frustration.
“I didn’t sleep with him if that’s what you’re asking!” She looks at me with outrage. “We just cuddled all night.” She shrugs her shoulders and laughs, appearing to remember something funny but she doesn’t share it. I grin at her beaming smile, feeling happy for her.
“We may have hooked up a little this morning, but there was this crazy girl screaming at a basketball player in the Wildwood parking lot that totally interrupted our moment.”
I groan. “You could hear me from Brody and Mark’s place?”
“Yeah, dude. You were loud as hell.”
I shake my head, “Wait, was Brody there with you? Did you see him then?”
She looks down, uncomfortably. “What, A? Tell me!”
“I promised I wouldn’t.”
“Wouldn’t what?” I ask, leaning toward her, preparing myself to physically force it out of her.
“Argh. I knew when he asked me that I would tell you. Why would he think I wouldn’t? Girl-code before bro-code any day.” She pauses and looks at me, thoughtfully.
“He left his apartment really early. It was still dark out even. I think he was surprised and taken off guard to see me there, in Mark’s clothes, no less.” She sneers. “I was just coming out of the bathroom and saw he had a bag with him. I asked him where he was going and he refused to tell me, at first. He only told me after I promised I wouldn’t tell you.” She looks down, avoiding my eye contact.
“Angela, tell me!” I say urgently.
“He said he needed time away from Wildwood…from everything. He’s skipping classes this week, I guess.”
“Where’d he go?”
“His parents’ house…in Topeka.”
My heart drops. Topeka? To his parents? I don’t even know the address there. We’ve not yet come to the meeting the family portion of our relationship. I know he has two teenage sisters he’s very protective of. He even admitted to being a bit of a momma’s boy. Mostly, I remember him telling me how much he admires his parents relationship. He said he rarely ever saw his parent’s watch TV. They’d always sit in their sunroom and visit every evening. He speaks fondly of his family. We’d been planning on going back for a weekend soon. Honestly, we’ve been too wrapped up in each other to make time for family meetings.
Him being gone for a whole week is definitely not what I anticipated when I was dreaming up a way to get him back. My heart clenches. Jesus. If he had to skip classes for a whole week, he must be really serious about this break. What if I can’t get him back? What if this is final?
“I have to go there, A. I have to see him. I need to do something big to make up for everything. I can’t let him be gone for a whole week figuring out ways to end us permanently!”
“Yeah, okay. What can I do?”
“Jeez, I feel like such an ass. I don’t even know his parents’ address. Their names are Anne and Mike.”
She smiles, saucily. “Mark and Brody grew up together, he’ll help us.”
***
The next day, Angela and I go over to see Mark. Jake looks horrified by my injuries in class, but thankfully doesn’t ask me anything about them. He instead eavesdrops on my whole conversation with Jen about my car wreck. I don’t want to say a word to Jen about the whole ordeal, but if I don’t tell people the truth, rumors will circulate. If a rumor gets started about Brody giving me these injuries, I’ll never forgive myself. Parni was the real shock. She seemed genuinely concerned and even went out and bought me lunch today. It was really sweet.
Before Mark even allows me to ask about Brody’s parents’ house, he starts firing off medical questions. After asking me exactly 37 questions about my injuries, he concedes that I’m not suffering a concussion or bleeding internally. Finally, he listens to Angela requesting information about where Brody’s at.
“Your request is blasphemy. Brody made it very clear that we weren’t supposed to say anything. While your injuries are tragic, they aren’t life threatening…so nothing changes.” He glowers down at Angela accusingly. “So no, I will not tell you where his parents live.”
Angela turns her back on Mark. “It’s fine, we can find it on the internet.”
Mark looks wounded at her blatant shift in body language. When we came over, he hugged her tightly and rubbed his thumbs on her earlobes. I was stunned to see Angela appearing to love the gesture. She’s normally so tough. Mark is bringing out a whole new side of her.
“My pet, he didn’t want to be disturbed. I will admit that I think he may want to know about Finley’s accident, but that’s not our place to say anything,” he says, placing a hand on her hip.
“Mark, remove your hand right now. You are now the enemy.”
“The enemy?” he asks with wide, horrified eyes. “I’m not the enemy. I’m your snuggle-snatcher!”
I laugh loudly at Angela’s horrified ex
pression. She turns and cuts him a mean look. “Mark, I like you. That’s established. We had some fun the other night. But Finley needs me right now and you’re only making our mission more difficult.” She crosses her arms over her small chest and narrows her eyes on him. “So, Question: Will you help us? Answer: Hell yes you will…or my ass won’t step another foot into that room.” She points at Mark’s room and his brows knit together.
“This is snuggle manipulation. I do not approve.” He appears to be warring with himself but then relaxes. “Very well. I’ll help you. But don’t ever threaten to deny me my one true beauty again.” He strokes her long black hair adoringly, and kisses the top of her head.
Her face softens at his touch and I find myself grinning at the blatant chemistry between them. Mark jots the address down and explains that Brody’s mom stays at home, so she should be home all day with Brody, unless Brody is fishing at his uncle’s creek. The creek is apparently where Brody spent a lot of his time growing up. I remember him mentioning it to me before.
The paper feels heavy in my hand. Going to Topeka and marching into the house that hosts his whole family, a family I haven’t even met yet, is going to be horribly uncomfortable. And with my messed up face, this could all go really bad.
“I’ll drive you,” Angela offers as we walk back to our apartment.
“Actually, I’m going to ask Cadence.” Angela looks wounded. “I’m sorry, A. Normally I’d have you be right there beside me. But the fact that we haven’t met each other’s families yet feels like just another barrier. I’m thinking if I bring Cadence, and maybe my nieces, it might help move us over this bad patch. I know it’s a lot to throw at him right after a breakup, but I just want to do something big. Something more. I’m ready to take the next step. I have to show him I’m serious.”
She nods thoughtfully, seemingly understanding my plan. “When are you going to go?”
